Words - 438

Rating - PG13

Warnings - Repetition, potential confusion, implied sexual situations

#12 – AS EASY AS A, B, C

In these empty days, certain things seem meaningful.

-xxx-

Things like how he once looked at you and you saw something special in his eyes.

Things like how he once spoke to you and you hated him for his mocking tone.

Things like how he once touched you and you flinched away.

Things like how he once ignored you and you pretended like you didn't care.

Things like how he once flirted with you and you kind of enjoyed it.

Things like how he once courted you and you kept looking for the catch.

Things like how he once yelled at you and you screamed right back.

Things like how he once wanted you and you gave in to temptation.

Things like how he once used you and you might have used him first.

Things like how he once needed you and you didn't understand.

Things like how he once watched you and you ignored him.

Things like how he once confessed to you and you called him a liar.

-xxx-

The connecting strings are lost somewhere in quiet evenings, but the pinpricks are there, a slew of moments – and you rebuild them this time, drawing new connections that you never saw before.

-xxx-

Connections like how he watched you first and you only noticed him after.

Connections like how he manipulated you to keep you aware of him and you resisted.

Connections like how he became impatient sometimes and you flung him firmly back in his place.

Connections like how he was stubborn and you made him be the one to give in.

Connections like how he finally began to make progress and you finally began to let him.

Connections like how he honestly tried and you never trusted him.

Connections like how he hated you and you were so damn spoiled.

Connections like how he couldn't resist and succeeded for the first time.

Connections like how he panicked and you had all your mistrust renewed.

Connections like how he found himself set back at the beginning and you just made it worse for him.

Connections like how he meant what he said and you shut him down.

-xxx-

Lately you see these things at night, and you grow extremely fed up with yourself, because this was all years ago and you never minded until now. But you never noticed until now, either, and that might be the point he repeatedly failed to make, and finally stopped trying to. And from this you draw final conclusions, staring out the window.

-xxx-

Conclusions like how he once loved you.

Conclusions like how he doesn't anymore.

Conclusions like how that's all your fault.