Words - 549
Rating - T
Warnings - Death, angst, confusion due to what I like to call stylistic wit (if you don't get the pun this is all built off, ask me in a signed review and I'll let you know)
#14 – FALL
You think – no.
And just like that, so simple, so sudden, so alarmingly irreversibly – you fall for her. You don't even know what's happened until you're tumbling down, down, and then it's just a matter of gravity really, there's nothing you can do. If only there was a spell to stop this, but there isn't – or at least, if there is, if there's some hypothetical spell that could reverse this whole process, it would have to take effect before you hit the bottom, and it's far too late for that already.
Because you don't know you're falling until you are, there's no advance warning. Similarly, you won't know you're hitting rock bottom until you are, and that end is coming soon, you can feel it in the rushing all around you. Your heart– it's active, forcing blood through your veins at an exaggerated speed as if that could somehow save you, as if a blush coming to your cheeks and your heartbeat in your ears could save you from this.
You can't believe how stupid you are. There's no way this is worth it. There just isn't – why, why couldn't you have just kept your distance? This is a war, there's no time for pathetic emotions like love, especially not when it's your enemy you are feeling them for! You know that, and yet still – you saw the wand pointed at her, saw that light, and your whole body filled up with no and you just – fell.
And that was that. You know it. Everyone will know it, soon enough. They will look at you and laugh, or pity you, but not one of them will respect this fall of yours; and how can you blame them? You are Draco Malfoy. You're supposed to be the height of heartless. You thought you were.
But you were clearly mistaken. You should have known, but she was just so sneaky really – you thought it would be a pity, a shame, but you had convinced yourself you did not truly care whatever might happen to her. But then that was put to the test and you failed, you failed so miserably and you just went falling down, down, down, nothing you could do.
No second chances.
You wish that you could see her, at least. Her face, leaning over, watching you go. A sort of validation – but no. You leapt foolishly forward, you acted on impulse, you saved her life –
You fell off a bloody rampart on the seventeenth floor of a castle built on a hill with rocks, and you dropped your wand in doing so.
You're useless, Draco Malfoy, an utter and complete fool, sacrificing yourself for the sake of nothing really, since you don't know if tackling her out of the way did anything more than buy her a few seconds of time. You hope it did – but you don't know, and you are conscious of that fact, it will torture you for the next few seconds until nothing can torture you anymore.
And the worst part is, you truly didn't know, before that moment. You saw it happening, thought no – and you fell, and that was it. Over.
You fall, and fall, and fall, and eventually you hit the ground.