Words - 329
Rating - T
Warnings - Angst, death, implied sexual situations
Prompt - Based on the song "Samson" by Regina Spektor. I recommend that you listen to that while reading this.
#17 – SNOW FALLING
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
- "Samson", Regina Spektor
I loved you. I swear I did, but things aren't – couldn't be – that simple. I think you knew that. I thought I could see it sometimes, in your eyes, in that way you looked at me, in the dark. Your eyes seemed so pale, shades lighter than they should be; everything seemed lighter when we met, color leeching away like winter, and it almost made me desperate.
I just want you to know that I did love you. And I know you loved me, even if you never said it, because you still came. You came to me, and stayed nights, and everything went pale, even the blood, lightening shades of snow. And that was enough for me, everything cooling down to nothing, until I could kneel up and do what I had to.
You would have fallen anyway, I know you would have. You were on the wrong side, it was coming, and – it felt wrong, on a battlefield. I loved you at night, in the stars, the winter landscape that you created inside me, that chill empty love that enabled me to do what felt right. And I didn't cry – I think you would like that. Not a single tear.
It was quiet, when you looked at me. You kissed me, and everything faded into quiet and pale light. And so, rather than on a violent angry battlefield, I kissed you one last time in the snowy white and waited until you fell asleep. I was gentle, and everything faded away, and your eyes never opened.
Everything was quiet. It was night, but you faded away like stars, and I loved you.
I did it for you, and it was quiet, and you faded slowly. I stayed after, but at least I gave you this, at least you would fade away gently, at least that. Like snow falling, the world fading, white and empty and slow, like your last kiss, your eyes closing.
I loved you.