IS IT TRUE?! Are they going to make a fourth season of Beyblade?!

And I know there are lots of OC's here. But they're necessary and I try to have them star as little as possible. Tell me how I'm doing, okay?

Chapter Three
All Hope Abandon

X

He knew it was a very stupid idea already before he thought of it. And by the time that he had thought of it, he knew he was going to go through with it anyway. It was just something that had been gnawing in the back of his mind for the past few days. The Russian always seemed to do this to him. It wasn't something he was all that happy about, but the more Rei tried to resist the faster his feet walked. Before he had even had his morning tea, the Tiger found himself outside a very famous door.

The AA hadn't changed at all. The atmosphere was still uncomfortable, the people still gave him odd looks and they were all stacked around the coffee table. Rei felt very awkward standing there in their entrance, out of place as he was just an observer. And the addicts didn't seem too keen on observers. There were a few new faces, he noticed. But also some people were missing. If that was good or bad he didn't know, but he was glad to find out that James was just the same.

The man was for the moment indulged in conversation, and being patient Rei decided to wait him out. It didn't take long before the dirt blonde man was done, and as soon as he turned around his eyes froze on Rei. For a second he seemed torn between smiling and just gasping, so James decided to do something in between. Rei smiled sheepishly, waving a little to show that he was really there and not some mirage. Instantly James sped up and it had taken merely seconds before the two were facing each other.

''Mr. Kon! I haven't seen you in quite some time!''

''Hi'' Rei smiled a little wider, and a little falser.

''Where have you been? I was wondering why Boris stopped showing up, haven't you kept him in check?''

It was a half joke but half a worried question and Rei didn't quite know how to take it.

''I… we… uh…'' he really wished people would stop asking him about it. Since when was their life so important to everyone? Did people just assume that he and Boris were joined at the hip and should be seen together at all times? Rei found it rather ridiculous, but the look in James' eyes made it impossible to avoid. ''We broke up. I haven't seen him in… well, quite some time.''

''Oh, I see…'' James looked a little ashamed of himself for the briefest of moments, and maybe even a little sad. ''And I thought he was doing progress… He even admitted it. You know, 'My name is Boris and I'm an alcoholic'. I was very proud of him and I thought… he just stopped coming.''

The Chinese regretted his own idea even more as James' eyes bored their way into him. In some way it was like he had let the man down, which he found absurd since they didn't even know each other. Rei had only come there to, well, he wasn't quite sure but it involved the Russian and if what James was inquiring was true then…

''He's not here is he?''

The man shook his head.

''No. He's not.''

Rei sighed. He should have just stayed home. This was no good. The only thing this would give him was ripped up old wounds, and he certainly did not need that. What he needed was closure, understanding, to sort things out but maybe this was all a sign. Maybe he was meant to just let things go? But how could he? A part of Rei didn't even want to. A part too stubborn to let logic decide.

''Robin hasn't been here for months either. I had hoped they'd found enlightenment somewhere else but…'' he sighed. ''I dunno.''

A frightful feeling clenched at his stomach, suddenly swirling up a storm of unpleasantness. Rei was feeling nauseous at the mentioning of that name, and yet he was covered with guilt as she was not the one to blame. Or maybe she was, what did he know? Rei had never really bothered to go to the bottom with it. For all he knew there could be something he ought to know but didn't. Or maybe there was no truth hidden underneath the lies at all, only heartache.

''I guess I better go then.''

James smiled bravely, patting him on the shoulder.

''Take care Rei.''

X

Well, if that hadn't been a complete waste of time he wasn't sure what was. What he was supposed to do next was an even bigger mystery as he hadn't really thought this plan through. Which was somewhat surreal since Rei thought every decision through. Perhaps this was his punishment for letting get the better of him. So, he didn't find Boris, he didn't have any work to do and it was in the middle of the morning. Where was a stray cat supposed to go? His first thought was to go home and clean his apartment, but since he'd already done that five times that week there wasn't really much to clean. Besides, the soap had started to itch.

So Rei wandered around. Down a street, up another. London lay like it always had, gawking in the sun like some large, concrete monster. He didn't really want to call Kai in case Yuriy would answer again, which he assumed would only feel awkward. Their last talk hadn't been one of the ordinary, and that left them both feeling a little uncomfortable. Perhaps… no, the thought was too absurd. He couldn't really be thinking it, it wasn't even sane.

But as Rei rejected the idea of visiting Boris, his feet had already started to move on their own, towards a direction he knew all too well. It was like watching a train crash on television. It didn't matter how much he screamed for it to stop or how much he twitched and tossed, the accident could not be prevented. The damage would be done and he had absolutely no control over it. He soon saw streets that he recognized all too well with their Gothic shapes and dirty buildings. The cracks in the pavement even looked familiar, as it they were part of some map he'd memorized a long time ago. Rei wished he could just turn back, he really did. But his body wouldn't listen, and before he had time to stop it, he was already by the end of the street.

But something felt off. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was as if someone was watchin. He could just be paranoid, but he still couldn't shake that unnerving feeling off of him. The sensation that something was boring into the back of his head, gnawing like a little bug was persistent. He stopped in his tracks, standing perfectly still as he waited for the feeling to go away. But it didn't, it only intensified. Rei was almost getting alarmed now as his head burned. Whatever set of eyes were on him, they were not letting go. Instead they seemed to be coming… closer.

''Motherfu – ''

Rei turned around as the voice spoke, and what he saw was not only the owner of the staring eyes, but also a person he had seen before. And this was not a particularly good thing.

''It's you'' the woman said, her voice eerie and dead, face covered in something much like shame. Her blue eyes looked right into his golden ones, and it was making him more than just uncomfortable. ''It is, right? You're him.''

Rei wanted to be confused, but sadly enough he wasn't. He knew exactly what she was talking about, the memories all too painful to forget. He wanted to, dearly and desperately, but if there was one thing that stuck like a tattoo to his retina, it was her face. Something putrid and vile started to bubble up inside of him, sending an odd, cold chill that seemed to burn him.

''If you mean the guy whose boyfriend you screwed, yeah, that's me.''

Robin bit her lip, Rei's pupils slit threateningly. She seemed to back a little at this, and defensively raised her hands.

''Hey, look! I don't want to fight.''

''It's a little too late for that, isn't it?''

He wasn't yelling, which was what scared her the most. Instead his tone was low and leveled, yet ice-cold like some beast on a very thin leash.

''Look, I just… We should talk.''

''What could we ever have in common? Except sexual partners, of course.''

She sighed.

''Okay, so I deserved that.''

Rei simply glared.

''Will you give me a fucking break? All I want is five fucking minutes!''

The leash snapped as the beast was released and nothing could have prepared her for the fury in his voice.

''All you want?! All you want?! Well I want my fucking life back! Since you helped ruining it, just shut up and leave me be!''

''Oh grow up! Look, I know what I did and I know it was a shitty thing to do but – ''

''Shitty?! Stealing my wallet is shitty, that was just downright spiteful!''

Robin seemed to snap, her eyes aflame like the apocalypse burned within them. Rei didn't care. He was just so angry, so frustrated, so hurt he didn't know what was even fair anymore. Hell, he didn't even care. There she was, having the guts to tell him to grow up. Rei was this close to punching her square in the face. But something held him back. Maybe it was his personality, maybe it was his common sense or maybe just the annoyed way she wrinkled her forehead, as if she actually had something to say.

''Will you just listen to me for one fucking moment?!''

When her yell had stopped echoing through the neighborhood, Rei was too shocked to actually speak. Her voice had been strong and fiery, not like the little robin but more like a pissed off eagle. Rei decided to do the smart thing and shut up.

''Look'' she said, pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation. ''We have to talk.''

''Why?'' he said dryly

''Because I've done a terrible thing. I admit that. And I'm not here to ask for forgiveness or anything else I don't deserve.''

''Then what?''

''I…'' she scratched her head in an attempt to stall for time, and when she spoke next it was with slow, drawling words. ''He had no idea about what he was doing. He was drunk, and that's my fault too.''

''Did you force it down his throat?''

''No…''

''Then it's his fault.''

She sighed.

''Look. He had no control, okay? He didn't even remember his own name, he didn't know who I was.''

Rei scoffed.

''Great, so he fucked a stranger! How loved I feel.''

''Will you shut up for one fucking second?!''

Rei glared, yet stayed silent. She was thankful for that, but none the less irritated. Muttering something, she shook her head.

''He regretted it big time, okay? He didn't… do it on purpose.''

Rei arched a suspicious and distrusting eyebrow at her, for a moment looking surprisingly like Kai used to do when he thought people were lying to him.

''And you know how?''

She didn't answer, instead her fingers moved to button up the first three buttons of her coat. Then she pulled down the collar of her sweater, revealing a delicate, graceful scar across her collarbone.

''Because.''

Rei could do nothing but stare. Was Boris the cause of that scar? Was he completely deranged? Sure he was violent and all but… this was absurd. Rei spluttered, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make him look like an even bigger idiot than he already had made of himself. But Robin didn't care about that.

''When you ran out of there he panicked. So…'' she sighed. ''Don't be too hard on him, please?''

Rei just kept staring, narrowing his eyes and opening them wide as saucers. Torn between anger, empathy and defeat, Rei wasn't sure just what to say. Or do, for that matter.

''That's all I wanted'' Robin beat him to the punch. ''Just… I've seen a lot of cheaters in my days and I know that your guy… he's not a cheater as much as he is a dickhead.''

Rei let out a dark, joyless little laugh that sounded more sad than anything else.

''Can't argue with that.''

She shrugged.

''Look, I know it probably hurt a lot, and that it still does. But… I don't really know what I wanted. I mean, I saw you on the street and I just… I've been thinking about this a lot actually, which isn't normal for me and… now I'm rambling.''

Rei's eyes were softer now, yet still cold and unfriendly. His face blank, he was even more conflicted now than he had been at the start of the day.

''I know a good couple when I see one.'' Was the last thing she said, before she turned around.

Rei watched her walk away, and when he couldn't see her anymore, the thoughts swirled like never before.

X

Boris groaned. His head felt like he'd stuck it out the window of a moving car and hit a road sign. Painful tremors leaped through him like searing acid whenever he tried to move, or breathe, or think for that part. On top of that he thought he could taste some other acids at the back of his throat. The Russian groaned again. He didn't have the energy for this. For fucks sake, he had just fallen asleep for some hours.

Casting a glance at the watch that showed to be, more precisely, eighteen hours. He muttered. Things really weren't looking good. Maybe it was a bad idea to mix his medicine with Vodka anyway. God, he didn't know. He just wanted to sleep. Or for someone to shoot his head off. Opening his eyes he instantly regretted waking up at all as the room was somersaulting, looking oddly blurry at the edges. He turned on the sofa, doubting he was up to moving but trying anyway. Right as he was, a skull-splitting headache formed. He would have been more comfortable with an axe up his ass.

And just to make matters worse, his doorbell rang. Or well, logically it couldn't because his doorbell never rang because no one ever visited him. This conclusion alone had to be sufficient to crone Boris King of Wisdom, yet still he doubted this title as the doorbell rang again. Perhaps it was just some kids intent on pissing him off.

''Fuck off!'' he tried a half-hearted roar, slurring too much for it to sound as dangerous as he wanted, but still it would have scared the paint off a wall.

And the doorbell did quiet. Sadly, Boris didn't have time to feel satisfied as instead, knockings drummed on his door. Cursing and muttering, Boris tried to ignore it. Maybe if he pretended to be dead the person would go away. At least his smell could fool anyone. Though, his patience couldn't. He lasted about two minutes before begrudgingly, he dragged his ass over to the door. Deciding he did not have the energy to look through the peep hole, Boris just threw the door open, hoping to hurt the intruder in the process.

''What?!'' even on just one word, his tongue slipped and it all sounded much more drunken than intended to.

All too familiar eyes just blinked at him before, disapprovingly, Rei let out a sigh.

''Good heavens, you're drunk.''

''Am not.''

''Boris, it's a quarter past ten!''

''Who da' hell goes… bangin' on peop's doors… that earlie?''

''You can't even speak.''

''Wha' d'ya wan'?''

''I wanted to talk to you but…''

Boris' face took on some sickly green shade in the middle of Rei's sentence, and before he had time to finish speaking Boris held a finger in the air in an interrupting gesture.

''Hol' that thought'' he slurred before with as little grace possible to human kind, he bolted off towards the bathroom.

While Boris was busy throwing up every little last bit of his stomach, Rei had the courtesy to let himself in. Closing the door carefully behind him, he slipped out of his shoes and jacket and decided to wait it out. But as the sounds only continued, he realized things weren't going to get better real soon. So when he appeared by Boris' side in the bathroom just a moment later, it was with a glass of water and a patient face.

Boris was clutching the toilet with shaking hands, his arms thinner than Rei remembered. His skin was almost completely white and Rei feared that it would even become transparent. Boris' head was not very visible where he hid it in the toilet, sweat covered bangs plastered across his face. He was shaking, arching and vomiting in what felt like an endless circle. It wasn't until he had started throwing up blood that he felt he had enough.

Leaning back he knew Rei was around there somewhere, which both annoyed and intrigued him. He wasn't quite sure why. As he remembered it the two were pissed off at each other. But for a fraction of a moment, Boris thought that maybe that meant everything was normal. Maybe it was just one of those nights when he had drunk too much and would have some sort of collapse and Rei was very determined on staying by his side.

It was a stupid thought, but none the less, it was the best he'd had in months.

''How much did you drink, anyway?''

Boris mumbled something, Rei wasn't sure in what language.

''Come again?''

''I said'' he slurred in the middle of a burp that, to put it lightly, reeked. ''Aren' we fightin'?''

Rei sighed, reaching for a towel to wipe away the vomit on Boris' face. But when the soft fabric approached him, the Russian only slapped it away, much like a grumpy child. He glared heatedly, if yet foggily, at Rei who felt a churn of worry in him as he saw the dark red blood. Eerily enough it sort of reminded him of Kai's eyes.

''Yeah…'' Rei concentrated his gaze on the grime around the toilet. ''Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about.''

Boris looked like he was about to answer, when he suddenly threw himself at the toilet and threw up again. The flood of acids that left his mouth this time, was nothing other than red. He wanted to puke again just from the taste, but felt he couldn't really handle anymore. A vivid cramp gnawed on his inside, making him crouch a little. Rei didn't like this side of Boris very much, as he had never seen him so… he couldn't even find the word for it, but it was frightening to say the least.

With a worried grimace he reached out to rub the Russian's back, but hesitated at the last second. Instead he crossed his legs and started inspecting a crack in the ceiling instead.

Minutes of silence crawled by, tortuously slow. Boris gagged a few times, spitting out some saliva that had gone pink with blood, before he just sat there, breathing ragged like a weight was put on his ribcage. Rei finally couldn't take listening to the breaths echoing around the room, each time sounding worse than before. He had to say something.

''When was the last time you ate?''

No matter how mad they were at each other, Rei was still concerned and also a little bit of a mother hen. He couldn't help it after looking after Tyson an the others for years. Boris on the other hand, did not appreciate it and instead tried to glare thinly at him. But somehow the effect was lost in Rei's numbness. A numbness that had slowly started to creep up on him since he set foot at the AA.

''Dunno…'' Boris murmured, sounding exhausted by his own words.

What scared Rei was that he knew the Falcon still had his invulnerable façade on, and that this was just the tip of the ice-berg. If Boris had been someone else, Rei wouldn't even know how the situation would have been. Boris on the other hand, carried it well. The immense pain in his abdomen which made him want to shoot himself. The spinning in his head and the nausea that threatened to strangle him. None of it showed, and he had to compliment himself on that effort. Still, he looked as healthy as a roadkill. Rei watched him reach out a trembling hand towards the glass of water, but accidentally tipping it over. Boris swore with a muffled voice, and the Tiger felt his heart sink.

''Come on'' he said as he helped the Russian stand up.

Boris glared as hatefully as he could muster, which was still quite a lot.

''I can walk''

''Just shut up for one moment, will you?''

The Falcon growled threateningly, but didn't say anything else. This also had Rei worried, but he put that thought aside as he tried his best to carry the heavier man into the kitchen. Still, he wasn't as heavy as Rei remembered him. He could just be imagining it, but still he wasn't fully convinced. As they reached the kitchen, Rei had his other shock. The entire place was like Dresden. Food splattered over the walls and carpet, spots and dirt and grime, dishes in the sink, a foul and repulsive stench and most surprisingly; disheveled shells. Rei remembered that the only thing Boris ever kept neat and in order was his kitchen. He had no idea why, but it had always been the only place he never really had to clean. And now it looked like the rest of the apartment, which was just… surreal.

''Put'm down'' came a grumble from his side, startling the Chinese.

Rei obeyed and put the man down on one very tattered old chair, which Rei thought resembled a chair he had bought once and which hadn't looked anything like its present state.

''Things have really gone awry, haven't they?''

''Fuck you.''

''Didn't sound like that last time I was here.''

A darkness formed in Boris' eyes, a darkness so smothering and malicious it made Rei shrink back a little. He didn't know if he really meant for that remark to slip out, or if he had done it on purpose, but in hindsight it looked like a bad choice. Boris wanted to comment, but he was still too drunk to manage more than one partly coherent sentence. Instead he just intensified his glare until Rei averted his eyes and started climbing through the mess that was the kitchen.

Both of them sat silent for the fifteen minutes it took Rei to find one lonely pack of instant noodles, and the silence stretched on for the four minutes it took for him to make them. When the bowl of soup was put down in front of him, Boris almost cringed at the aroma. It was thick, luscious and overbearing. His stomach roared in complaint, and he knew before he even got the fork in his hand, that he was not going to be able to handle it. He clenched his fist around the fork until his knuckles turned bone white, anger searing through him at how weak and pathetic he was. He couldn't even handle a fucking bowl of soup. He, Boris, the monster of humanity. He who set terror and induced pain in others for his own pleasure, was defeated by some carbohydrates swimming in beef-flavored water.

Rei just looked at him. Boris didn't even notice when he sat down on the opposite side of the table. But he knew he hated that look, because it meant the Tiger was thinking. Empathizing, being emotional. Pitying. The nausea instantly doubled.

''Stup starin', y'prick''

''You look like hell.''

''Fuck – ''

''me, I know.''

The Russian's fist trembled in anger, and even though Rei's voice was soft and sad and so far from an insult one could come, Boris couldn't help it. The anger coursed through him like a raging storm, and so he threw the bowl off the table after which it cracked against the floor. Several pieces of porcelain along with the food splattered across the carpet, like the crushed skull of a murder victim with the brains oozing out on the already sticky floor. Rei flinched at the sudden outburst, wide eyed staring at the other, apprehensively.

Boris raised himself to lean across the table, steadying himself on arms shaking. Of anger or exhaustion he did not know, but he didn't care anyway. Baring his teeth like a hungry, rabid beast his foul breath hit across Rei's face, and the Tiger couldn't help but feel threatened. He had never seen such anger, such frustration, such pure hatred in those grey eyes, but yet there was something more. Something he couldn't quite make out, still he wasn't sure it was something entirely dangerous. Maybe in a way, Boris looked almost… lost.

''Get – the fuck – out – of my – apartment!'' he barked the words viciously through his teeth, yet Rei was too scared to move.

Silence exploded in the room, louder and tenser than the harshest words. The two were just glaring, respectively staring, at each other. Hearts racing tiredly yet desperately, chills running down their spines. Rei didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do. Yet he was afraid that any sudden movement would send Boris leaping for his throat. An ache pulled at his heart again, much like an odd sensation formed in Boris' chest. But the anger swallowed everything, and as Rei did not make a move for another minute, Boris finally snapped.

Rei knew it was coming, yet he didn't really expect it. The fist came like a surprise that he had planned himself, none the less hitting his face like a missile. Pain exploded right away, numbing the skin as the pain traveled through the nerves. His head spun before abruptly coming to a halt, with a shrill ringing left in its absence. Boris breathed heavily and hungrily, yet Rei was too shocked to move. He didn't even notice he was on the floor until Boris yanked him up by the collar. When he spoke next his words were surprisingly clear, like the adrenaline had sobered him up.

''I don't need your help. I don't need you. If I'm such an asshole then stop getting into my life!''

The words echoed loud and clear, cutting like dull knives through Rei's heart. He bit back a whimper, out of sadness, pain or fear he didn't know. Instead he just anticipated another blow, but it never came. Instead Boris threw him towards the door, grabbing another bottle from a nearby shelf.

''Find yourself out'' was all he said before he disappeared out of the room.

When Rei finally heard the bedroom door lock, he listened to the silence. After a moment of simply staring, he excited the apartment quick and swift like a ghost. As if he'd never been there at all he closed the door behind him, sliding down the wood as he finally allowed himself to cry.