Three updates in three dates? Kewl.
This has got to make up for my absence.
If you review there might be more coming! -wink wink-

Chapter Seven
The Knell and the Lullaby

X

The depredation of the media was going on strong, which wasn't all that unexpected but it left Rei feeling like maybe he'd underestimated them. He was particularly dissatisfied with all the horrible pictures they got of him, despite his best efforts to lay low. It felt like a miracle that they hadn't found out where he lived yet. Still, Rei wasn't as high-spirited as he had wanted to.

Even if he talked about standing his ground and staying strong until the pressure just blew over, there were a few things that weighed especially heavy on his mind. It wasn't just the constant harassment on his cell-phone, or that he had to sneak around like some sort of fugitive. Talking to Boris had stirred up some emotions he'd rather left unheard, and after the failure at finding the man two days ago he wasn't feeling any bit less worried.

He couldn't help it. There was just this nagging little feeling in the back of his mind that told him not to hold his breath. Boris could be pretty much everywhere, and he was probably just overreacting. But that didn't calm him down the least. And what was worse that after all his efforts to just forget all the pain he'd been served lately, he still wanted to believe there was hope.

Hope of maybe not rekindling the fire he and Boris once shared, but to become friends again. Not just exes talking things through when one of them was drunk and the other was too drained of emotion to care. Rei couldn't deny it, even if he wanted to with all his stubborn being. He had loved the man, and he had meant the words he'd spoken. And some part of him thought that maybe that emotion wasn't quite dead yet.

Since Kai and Yuriy had come to London they'd been spending almost all their time at the apartment. Mostly they didn't do much but watch TV and enjoy the silence. Sometimes Yuriy would go out on adventures to find food and other necessities that Rei didn't want to look for himself, with the great risk of being found by the hyenas. Or, as the common name was; reporters. Kai stayed with him most of the time as well, but since Rei had been sitting in a corner of the kitchen looking excessively bothered for two days, the Phoenix had disappeared without a word. No one questioned this little vanishing act, they just figured whatever Kai was up to he'd either tell them himself or it just wasn't any of their concern.

But even so, Yuriy wasn't too happy about being left alone with Mr. Poutyface. At first it'd been alright with him, but when the only thing left to watch on TV was the Tyra Banks Show, he felt like he had to do something. And even if the only thing to do was to talk to the little nutcase, he guessed he had no other choice if he didn't want to start climbing walls.

So it was without much noise and without any warning that he sat down on the opposite side of the table, watching Rei with slight hesitation. Sure, he was used to the emotional pep-talks by now, but it still didn't make him all that comfortable with it. It wasn't his fault that he was gifted with an intelligent and perspective mind, so why he should be left to suffer for it was anyone's guess. But since Kai never said much to begin with, he guessed there was little else to do to pass the time.

''Kon'' he signalled the start of the conversation, watching the other while waiting for his response.

Rei glanced up at him from the magazine he pretended to be reading, arching an eyebrow at this sudden search for contact.

''Yuriy'' he answered after a bit of staring, not sure he wanted to know where this would lead.

''Have you ever thought about a sex friend?''

He had now gotten the Chinese's full attention, and it was not the good kind.

''Excuse me?''

Yuriy sighed.

''A sex friend! A fuck buddy! Someone to take out all your emotional stress on. Physical therapy, if you may.''

Rei just kept looking at him with the same incredulous look on his face. He was now beyond pretending to be indulged in celebrity gossip, and instead abandoned the magazine to give Yuriy a long, cornered look.

''Yuriy… are you coming on to me?''

The Russian's eyes widened with abhorrence, almost rising out of the chair at this insane accusation.

''What?! No! Are you mad?!''

Rei frowned at him, still not all that convinced.

''Just checking''

''Well, don't! I would never, ever think of you in such a way! God damn it, Kon! What's your problem?!''

''You don't have to get all defensive about it'' Rei glanced at him with a peculiarly mischievous glint in his eyes. ''Unless you've got something to hide, that is.''

''Oh, just give it a rest, will you?!''

''I'm not the one you're trying to convince'' Rei winked, earning a very dark glare from the other. ''Besides, you brought it up''

''It was a suggestion! And I didn't say anything about me being involved!''

Yuriy was not at all happy at the amused little grin that was spreading across Rei's face. Sure, it was refreshing to see something other than a pout, but not on Yuriy's behalf. He muttered something surely offensive in his native tongue, shaking his head tiredly.

''You're such a moron'' he mumbled, resting his chin in his hand.

Rei shrugged.

''I guess. But to answer your question; No, I'm not interested in a sex friend.''

Yuriy snorted. He just had to associate with the most annoying people.

''It might be good for you.''

''I'm not really up to that sort of intimacy after… well after everything.''

''It's not intimacy unless you make it intimate''

Rei raised his other eyebrow now, his amusement blending with a bit of bewilderment.

''You just think it's okay to use people as toys?''

''I didn't say that! And no, not toys, just… It doesn't always have to mean anything.''

Rei simply shook his head.

''No, I… just no.''

They were silent after that, and Rei averted his eyes back to the magazine again. Not that he really cared if Tom Cruise's kid was trapped in a mad cult or if Posh had left her husband, he'd just rather read about people being worse off. Perhaps he should call them and ask how they managed. If he noticed Yuriy staring at him or not, the Russian couldn't tell but it was obvious that he didn't want to have any eye-contact. Yuriy scoffed, forcing the Chinese to engage in that anyway.

''What?'' he said, not sure of what he'd given away this time.

Rei somberly realized he ought to control his emotions better. But Yuriy just shook his head, looking at him like he was some silly little high school girl swooning over a guy she couldn't get because her breasts just weren't big enough.

''You're going to take him back, aren't you?''

Even if it came out as a question it was really more of a statement. Maybe the Tiger hadn't realized it himself but to Yuriy it was clear as day that it would be the obvious outcome. What, with Rei just sitting there being all brooding and sighing every now and then. The Wolf hadn't expected him to just tell Boris to shove it someplace the sun didn't shine, but judging by the reluctance to hold a grudge you needn't be an analyzing genius like himself to figure it out. Some people just refused to realize they were better off apart.

''Uh…'' Rei just shifted awkwardly, and that was answer enough.

''I knew it. You idiot.''

''Well, it's not like he'll want to come back.''

At that Yuriy had to laugh. He just really, really did. It was such a stupid statement he just couldn't resist.

''For having spent an awful lot of time with someone you still don't know what to expect!''

''Why'd he come back?''

Yuriy shook his head, still laughing. Rei decided he didn't like when Yuriy laughed. It was just wrong, not to mention creepy. Like old women trying to squeeze into mini-skirts.

''Because he's a moron, why else?''

''Do you ever say anything nice about anyone?''

''Occasionally.''

Rei sighed.

''Doesn't matter since he seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth''

''It's not like it's the first time he's disappeared. He'll come back once he's banned from every bar he can drag himself to.''

''Yeah… I guess''

Still, Rei didn't quite dare to believe him.

X

''You promised, Jung! You promised!''

Ai Shu Kon stared tear-stained at her husband, whom was lying in a crumpled heap of alcoholic waste on the floor. His hair one giant mess of knots and grease, while his once so proud face was scrunched in disdain. She wasn't sure how much he'd been drinking, but then again he was smelling like an entire bar so she knew it was too much. Violent sobs shook her frail body like earthquakes, stirring up her emotions until she just didn't care about being scared anymore. All she wanted was to get her husband back.

''You promised me you would stop! You promised me… damn it, Jung!''

She didn't care about manners or polite language anymore. All she cared about was kneeling down beside the little lump of disgrace, the speck of dirt that had once, almost a lifetime ago been the love of her life. This broken, disgusting figure just looked at her, seeing not his wife but instead a great nuisance. Noise he wanted to silence.

The hand came swiftly and precisely, almost as if rehearsed, and it hit her face so quickly she almost didn't register it. The pain was slow and throbbing, but it was nothing compared to the panic rising in her throat. Still she looked at him, shock so clear in her brown irises.

''Shut up fer one minute!'' he snapped at her, his voice devoid of all amiable emotion there used to be. ''Can't even hear m'self think!''

His slurring, drawling voice rang loud and shrill in her ears. It was without doubt the worst sound she'd heard from him in all the years she'd known him. Ai Shu cried harder, watching her husband fall apart.

''You said you would… you would seek help… said you would… stop'' she had to pause a moment to breathe, so close to hyperventilating now she almost couldn't speak. ''Damn it, you have a son! A family! If you can not take care of yourself, then how will you…''

''SHUT UP!''

The next punch wasn't nearly as graceful or gentle as the other had been. This was hard and cold with the complete indifference of the man who dealt it. It struck with a pain so fierce for a long moment she couldn't even think. All she could do was crawl into a ball, hoping the warmth on her face wasn't blood. Wondering how on Earth she'd explain it to the neighbours.

''It's none a' yer damn business! Ye're just a… a fucking whore! I don' need t' listen… t' you!''

His relentless voice made her cry even harder. There was nothing recognizable within him anymore. All the days and months she'd spent hoping he'd better himself, thinking it was just a phase, they all seemed so silly now. He wasn't going to stop, no matter how much she begged or how hard she cried. This was the first time he'd actually laid hands on her, but she feared it was not the last.

''Please…'' she whispered ''Just… think about your son… do not… do not hurt him''

Jung scoffed, looking at her with the uttermost disgust and despise she'd ever seen in his eyes. Looking at her but seeing dirt, a bug that he had to squash. There she tried to plead to him by using their son. Pathetic. He didn't care about that little piece of shit. He didn't care about any of them because they were all just dragging him down. Bringing disgrace upon his name, taking his money, treating him without the respect he deserved. Damn it, why couldn't they see?

He wasn't a bad person, he really wasn't. They just couldn't understand him. In fact, they never really could. She could have her filthy little offspring, he didn't care anymore. They never understood. They never really got it. He was so sick and tired of being locked up in that hole. In that village, where all there was to do was obey the elders. Always, always having pressure. The weight of an entire world on his shoulders. Damn it, he just wanted to breathe!

''Father? Why is mother crying?''

They both turned to look in the direction that the voice had come from. Seeing their son, too young, too innocent to understand. And Jung hated him for that.

''Why is mother's face red?'' he took a step closer, but didn't get that far before his parents both yelled at him.

''Rei, don not come here! Go back to your room!''

''Go back to your damn room, brat!''

Rei looked at them with slight fear, eyeing them both wondering why he wasn't welcomed in the room. Wondering why the air was so tense and why his father looked so angry, wondering why his mother was sprawled on the floor.

''Rei, please…'' his mother pleaded.

After a few seconds Rei started backing away, shyly as he wasn't sure what was wrong or right to do anymore. Once he'd disappeared into his room again, Ai Shu turned her gaze towards her husband. One last pleading look sent his way, one last hope to make him see sense.

''Jung… you promised, damn it you promised!''

He just glared at her, something vile resting in his eyes. No longer the Jung Kon she knew, but instead just a stranger that had gradually started to grow within him. A stranger that had silently moved into their home, until there simply was no Jung anymore.

''Promises don't mean shit.''

X

Kai came back a couple of hours later, and if one looked closely he seemed to be a bit more bothered than when he had left. Yuriy looked lazily at him from the couch, but became alert once he realized something had to be wrong. Of course it did, something was always wrong. Without a word Kai strode into the apartment, serious as always, managing to get all eyes on him just by walking into a room. He sat down next to Yuriy, not saying anything at first but simply just looking.

Yuriy was about to talk to him, when Rei came out of the bathroom to join in the movie-marathon. But he stopped right where he stood when he caught sight of Kai, he too sensing Kai was a bit more broody than usual. Frowning in growing worry, he walked over to the couch and sat down.

''Kai?'' he said hesitantly, not knowing what was going on but sensing he was going to regret finding out. ''Is something wrong?''

The quieter of the three clasped his hands, spending a few seconds looking at them before he said anything. Thinking things over and how he should break the news to Rei as gently as possible, without treating him like a child and without making him more upset than necessary. There wasn't going to come any good out of blowing things out of proportion, which there was a good chance Rei would do if he didn't hear it correctly.

''I went to Boris' apartment'' Kai announced, feeling their gazes intently on him.

''And?'' Yuriy said, crossing his arms, smoothly disguising his own, if yet minuscule, alarm.

''And he wasn't there. I asked the old lady next door if she'd seen him, but apparently she hadn't.''

Rei blinked at him, his mind already jumping to a thousand of conclusions, none of them with a happy ending.

''So… what are you saying?'' he asked, voice filled with the worry Kai had tried to spare him from.

''I'm saying, maybe he's not just out on town. Maybe something's happened.''

The trio shared an eerie, uncomfortable silence that even a winter storm looked pleasant by comparison. A silence during which their minds worked hard to figure out what that actually meant, while still trying to keep calm.

''What… do you mean… like…'' Rei stuttered, looking at a corner of the room since it was a lot easier than looking at Kai. ''He's… something bad?''

''Don't panic now, Rei.''

''Don't panic?! Kai, Boris' gone! For real!''

Kai sighed, leaning back against the couch with a tired look on his face.

''Let's not jump to conclusions.''

''Who knows what might have happened!''

''And who knows what might have not.''

Rei buried his face in his hands, mumbling incoherent sentences under his breath. The Russians glanced at him warily, not wanting to scare him more than he already was. Like trying to approach a frightened animal.

''I could go look for him'' Yuriy suggested, but that wasn't enough for Rei.

''We should call the police! We should put up posters!''

''Or we could do that.''

''Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod – ''

''Rei, calm down'' Kai said, his voice stern but not harsh. ''Nothing is getting better by you getting sick with worry.''

Rei gave him a pained look, knowing he was probably overreacting but not able to force himself to stop. As soon as he'd heard the word 'missing' and 'Boris' in the same sentence, his mind just went crazy. It didn't matter how rational of a person you were, if someone close to you was possibly in danger, everything else seemed unimportant. The only irrational thing left to do in your mind would be to not go out on a desperate search, even if you'd worry yourself half to death.

The others were worried too, but they were much better at controlling it. Of course, they'd had years of training to do just that, so they could keep almost any emotion in check. Still, deep, deep, deep, deep down – even if they wouldn't admit it – they were reacting just the same way. Yuriy wanted to go look for his friend right away, but his brain told him to stay put until they'd come up with a good enough option and thought things through. Rationalism, it could be a curse sometimes.

''Just… call the police! I don't care if I'm being ridiculous – '' Rei took a deep breath but failed to calm himself. ''Just… call them''

He stood up as quickly as he'd spoken, rushing out into the hallway without a second to spare. The next thing they knew was the rustling of shoes and jackets as Rei hurriedly put on his outdoor clothing.

''Rei, what are you – '' Yuriy gave him a reprimanding look that unfortunately was wasted on Rei's back. ''Don't be stupid! Where are you going?''

''Rei!'' Kai called, even if he knew it was futile.

''I'll be back as soon as I find him!''

They wanted to argue, but it was a bit hard to argue with a door getting slammed shut at you.

X

He didn't know what time it was, he wasn't even sure of where he was. His mind had just been one incoherent mess of what-ifs and bad scenarios. He didn't want to think the worst, but at the same time he couldn't help it. Every time Boris' had stormed out of the apartment, he'd come back worse for wear. That one time he'd been stabbed had been one of the most terrifying experiences in Rei's life, and the last time Boris' disappeared Rei feared he would never see him again.

So he couldn't help but think, what if? What if he was hurt again? What if he was lying somewhere, bleeding so badly that this time no doctor could ever stitch him back together? What if he wouldn't come back this time? What if this would be the last time he'd see him, if he ever found him at all? Rei didn't know what he'd do. All thoughts of betrayal and hurt just seemed so insignificant now, so petty and stupid he wondered why he even wasted their time on them in the first place.

He didn't care anymore. That moment nothing mattered, nothing but finding him. When he did he was going to hurt him so bad for ever making him worry so much. He was going to kill him, if Boris wasn't dead already. Rei shook his head to rid himself of such thoughts. It wasn't going to help him if he didn't stay at least a bit clear-jeaded.

But that proved to be harder and harder by each bar he went to that he had to leave empty handed. By each person that hadn't seen him, by each hotel and park and dirty little corner of London that gaped at him with it's hollowness, Rei was that much closer to breaking. It was with his last ounce of strength that he managed to keep it together, knowing that if he gave up he'd never forgive himself.

So he ran and he ran, and he searched and he searched. Biting back paranoia, fear, worry that was eating him alive. He felt lost, at one point both figuratively and literally. London was such a big town if one didn't know where to look, and it only seemed to grow with the shadows. By the time that night had fallen as a heavy layer over the buildings, Rei was so tired he could barely even stand. And he wanted so desperately to just fall apart.

That was when he saw it. There, in the shadows, a heap lying on the dirty asphalt. Something human, something moving, something very familiar and very much alive. Rei didn't even have time to breathe before he sped off towards it, not sure he wanted to know what was waiting for him once he got there. Knowing he couldn't turn back, knowing he had to face whatever would come his way.

The closer he got the more familiar the heap looked. Once he'd fallen down beside it, he recognized the grey tousles of hair and the strong, breathing frame. Rei thanked every God he knew of that those breaths didn't seem erratic, or too slow for that matter. He thanked every deity known to man that the wetness underneath him was just the remnants of a fallen beer can, and not the blood he'd grown so accustomed to.

Rei gave the body a frightened shake, not wanting to hurt him.

''Boris?''

The lump murmured something to him, something much too mushy and drunken for him to understand but it was all he needed to draw a breath of relief.

''Boris, oh thank God… you fucking idiot! Where the hell have you been?!''

''Mrhgn… dnn…''

''Do you know how long I've been looking for you?! Do you know how worried I was?!''

''Grrrrhgh…''

The lump stirred, moving in an attempt to sit up. Rei tried clumsily to help, too overwhelmed with relief and anger and worry to do anything delicately. Once he'd gotten Boris to face him, he briefly mused over how heavy the man was.

''Are you hurt?''

The Russian blinked sluggishly, every movement he made going in slow-motion. Eventually his chilling eyes settled on Rei, not until know realizing who it was that spoke to him.

''Nrrhhm… Rei?''

''Yes, it's me, you jackass!''

Rei didn't care about anything now. All he wanted to do was to vent his frustration and anger on the man who had gotten him so worried in the first place. What he really wanted to do was to slap Boris, but he restrained himself thinking the man was probably not in the best of conditions as it was.

''What're…. what're you doin' here?''

''I'm looking for you''

Boris blinked, this also done slowly, trying to get his tongue to work a bit better, sensing his speech wasn't all that coherent.

''Mmmmee?''

''You're the only drunken idiot I know.''

''Nhh… only had… coupl'a bottles…''

''A couple of bottles?'' Rei glared at him harshly, knowing that a couple of bottles was not only an understatement, it was a mockery of all honesty. ''You can barely sit up! Do you even know where you are?''

Boris just shook his head, making a humming sound.

''Well, neither do I. What the hell happened?''

Truth be told, Rei was feeling a bit scared again. He hadn't ever seen the Russian so completely hammered, and what unsettled him the most was perhaps that he'd actually thought the man was making progress. Even if he knew he was having a relapse, he thought the AA and the meds were actually helping. To see the man so out of it just brought back too much pain, and too many memories.

It reminded him too much of the nights his father couldn't even move, except for the occasional vomit. How he'd promised again and again that next time would be the last, but knowing it was just a lie. Rei was so tired of having to be back in that same place, a place he thought he'd left the day he left his home. He thought he'd never have to take care of someone in the middle of the night, vomiting blood and enough alcohol to kill a man with less tolerance. He was so tired of hearing the same empty promises and being left disappointed time and again.

''I.. nhh… tried'' Boris slurred, rubbing his eyes clumsily with a hand that didn't quite know what it was doing. ''I really, really tried…''

''Boris, what's going on?''

''They threw m'out''

''They what?''

''Apar… apartm… house. Boom. Gone.''

Rei looked at him in disbelief, letting the words sink in deep before he said anything else. And even when they'd sunk so deep they could seep out his feet, Rei wasn't sure what to say.

''You got… evicted?''

''Boooyah!''

Boris let out a little laugh, oddly out of place since Rei didn't appreciate the humour of it.

''How could they throw you out? Did you assault somebody?''

''Nuuuh-uuh'' Boris shook his head, his eyes having drooped close. ''They'um… they… uhm… money''

''You didn't pay your rent?''

Boris buried his head in Rei's shoulder, intent on drilling it so deep into that familiar, nice scent. Boris wouldn't ever tell anyone, but he'd really missed that scent. And right now it didn't matter if Rei was mad at him, he just wanted to bury himself in him and fall asleep. At the moment he was just so very, very tired.

''Boris! Focus!''

The Russian groaned, making Rei slap him slightly on the head.

''Boris! Did you or did you not pay your rent?''

''Nnnnn… might'uve forgott'n it… once…''

''Once?''

''Hrrrr… or twice…''

The Russian yawned, not noticing the wide eyes that were at the moment trying to glare holes through him. Rei just couldn't believe what he was hearing. He didn't want to believe it was true. Such a perfect way to end his already fucked up day.

''I can't believe this'' Rei sighed, shaking his head. ''I just can't believe it''

''S' true, though''

Rei closed his eyes, feeling a powerful headache knocking on his door.

''How long have you been homeless?''

''Mrrrr… sleepy…''

''Boris''

''Don' wanna talk 'bout it… sleep…''

Rei growled.

''Fine.''

Trying to stand up while still supporting the half-asleep man, he got to his feet and made his best effort to haul the man to his. Which wasn't all that easy, considering the situation.

''Alright, soldier, let's get you home.''