Ooooh, I'm on a roll.

For those who care, I saw a couple of cosplayers some weeks or so ago. One of them was a Boris. It made me all giddy inside.

Chapter Thirteen
The Fine Line

X

Well, so much for his good mood. Ever since he had watched the show Rei's thoughts had been reeling. He was once again afraid of his own telephone, jumping every time it seemed to ring. Only now it was all in his head, and Tyson never called. Rei wasn't entirely sure what to feel about that, but he certainly didn't like any of the possibilities. To add to that, his attempts to push Boris out of his head were starting to wane.

Every time Boris would leave the apartment – always at two o'clock on every second day, for the record – Rei would get all nervous and jittery. He'd spend hours just thinking about what the man could be up to, which mostly ended up with him walking around aimlessly in some park. He considered calling Kai for some expert advice, but didn't want to bother his friend as the Russian probably had a lot to deal with on his own.

Rei missed Kai. He even missed Yuriy a tiny bit. He missed having two cunning people who always knew what to do. He missed Yuriy being grumpy and tossing snide remarks over the newspaper and he missed having Kai come over with the best coffee in town. But, Rei had decided to start managing his own problems. In hindsight that didn't sound like one of his brightest ideas.

No. No Rei had to handle this himself. He couldn't rely on his friends for everything. It wasn't fair to him and it especially wasn't fair to them. No, Rei would just have to soldier on and hope that whatever Boris was doing all afternoon wasn't anything illegal or stupid.

Okay, so most probably it was stupid. But not too stupid, he hoped.

What if Boris was seeing someone? Like some young and supple woman with plump lips and a voluptuous body. Or a man. A large, muscular, dark and handsome man. Or a blonde. Maybe Boris had grown tired of Rei's dark hair and tan skin. Maybe because Rei had lost so much weight in the previous year, Boris thought he was ugly.

Rei immediately smacked himself. This was getting silly. He was starting to sound like an insecure fourteen-year-old. And why did he care anyway? They weren't a couple anymore. And neither should they be, because Boris was a lousy, stinking cheater. And he had anger issues. And commitment issues. Also, he was an emotional retard. And he never cleaned up after himself, despite the kitchen which was borderline OCD. Also, Boris had ugly morning hair. Really, really ugly morning hair.

In fact, Boris wad the biggest jerk Rei had ever met. But he was also the most loveable jerk he'd ever met. Boris was his jerk. His jerk that always smelt nice even without using perfume. Who always had warm hands, really soft hands for some strange reason. Someone who despite their rugged past had overcome old grudges and taken care of him. Someone who, despite being a sadistic asshole, never laughed at him or pitied him or mocked him.

Someone who stood up for him, someone who had the most amazing eyes and the softest hair and the crudest sense of humor and an embrace worth dying for.

On the other hand, Boris was an idiot. A big idiot. The biggest idiot of all. He should've been crowned King Idiot of the Idiotic Idiocy. And besides that, Boris was an alcoholic. An alcoholic Rei had tried to help for far too long. Okay, so alcoholism was a serious and dangerous problem. He understood if it was hard to change one's ways. And Boris had agreed not to drink in order to live with him. He was trying, and that in itself was a wonderful thing.

That someone who would never change himself for anyone, at least tried to meet him halfway.

But he was a stinking cheater. And what did Rei know about his afternoon adventures? Maybe Boris was drinking his brain into putty that very moment. Was it really wrong of Rei to doubt him? After everything, all the lies and the disappointment? After every time Boris had let him down, could he really be blamed?

Still he felt bad for doubting him. Boris was trying. And Rei was really starting to trust him again. He didn't want to and he wasn't sure if it was smart of him, but at the same time he wanted everything to be the same again. He wanted them to get along again and he wanted to be able to kiss him and sleep next to him without wondering if it was too forward. He wanted to be able to call Boris his own and he wanted to be that close to him again.

God. Everything was so insane. It was the same tragic routine as last time. There he was, wondering whether or not he should or if he shouldn't. If it was right, safe or sane. Trying to make up excuses and to come up with reasons. Debating with and against himself at the same time. Rei was exhausted. He just wanted everything to sort itself out. But he knew that wasn't going to be the case. He knew he had to take this up with Boris himself.

He still loved Boris. He always had and he felt like he always would. Not that Rei could see the future, but whatever was going to happen he felt like in the present, it was the right thing to do. He wanted to be with Boris, it was really the only thing he was certain of. But should he be?

Now that was another question.

X

''I know you're busy and I really hate to be disturbing you like this – ''

''So why are you?''

'' – but I really need your help and if you care the slightest about my sanity – ''

''Which I don't.

'' – then you've got to help me!''

''With what?''

''Is Boris seeing someone in secret?''

''Please hang up.''

''I'm serious!''

''And I'm not?''

''Yuriy, I'm going mad!''

''Correction; you are already mad. I'm going mad.''

''You know, I'm starting to regret ever thinking you weren't a complete asshole.''

''Yes, that's right. I'm a big asshole. Now hang up so I don't cause you any more emotional harm.''

Rei made a strangled sound.

''Fine'' Yuriy sighed. ''What's he done now?''

''He disappears ever other day or so at precisely two o'clock and then I don't see him until later in the evening, reeking of smoke and god knows what else!''

''So? You think he's seeing someone else because of that?''

''Yes! Or… I don't know! That's why I called you, so you could tell me!''

Half a world away Yuriy was muttering words under his breath which would make a rock star feel uncomfortable.

''Kon, you're a god damn idiot. You know this, right?'' Rei opened his mouth to protest but got interrupted. ''Besides, why do you care? You're not a couple anymore. You dumped his sorry ass.''

''Yeah, he cheated on me.''

''So he's a bastard. You shouldn't date bastards.''

Rei frowned. Not that Yuriy could see it. To be extra sure the Russian knew just how miserable and unsatisfied he was with this answer, he whined.

''But Yuriy! I… I – ''

''If you say what I think you're about to say I am definitely hanging up. I'm not a damn relationship counselor, you know.''

''No. I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you, I'm just…'' Rei sighed in defeat. ''I'm losing my head over here.''

He wasn't sure but he thought he heard Yuriy shake his head.

''Rei, it's not what you think. Okay? Don't jump to conclusions.''

Rei glanced suspiciously at the phone.

''What is there you know that I don't?''

''Nothing. And besides, if you're so jealous about him why don't you two just get back together?''

''Because he is a cheating bastard.''

''Oh, come on Rei. You're not really mad about that anymore. Everyone knows you two are going to get back together again. It's just a matter of when you get your heads out of your asses.''

Rei stood in perplexed silence for a while, blinking his eyes.

''Everyone?''

''Yes, Rei, everyone. Even if you two are the most stupid people on earth, you're going to be a thing again. I'm certain of it.''

''How can you be certain?''

''I'm not blind, deaf or stupid, Kon. I know, Kai know. Hell, even the mailman knows. Boris' been trying to clean up his act for you, and I know you're too stupid to ever really turn him away.''

''I'm feeling insulted.''

''You're welcome.''

Rei pouted.

''I still think he's seeing someone. And since you're not telling me what you know that must mean something weird is going on.''

''Kon, I'm warning you. Don't go there with him. Not now.''

''Just what the hell is going on?!''

''Trust me on this, Rei.''

Rei was momentarily stupefied by the sentence, and before he had the time to come up with something witty and convincing Yuriy was escaping the conversation.

''I have things to do now, so don't do anything stupid and don't get yourself killed.''

''But – ''

''Goodbye, Kon''

Then there was a click followed by silence, leaving Rei in the wake of his own mental war and an empty kitchen.

X

Boris had a bad feeling climbing up the stairs. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he knew it wasn't going to be good. Against his better judgment he slowly opened the hallway door and stepped into the little apartment, for a moment just waiting for the roof to collapse on him.

Since it didn't, he warily moved on to another room trying to see if the impending danger was there. Finding the kitchen devoid of anything harmful, he proceeded to search through the bathroom but finding it just as tranquil. With growing suspicion and apprehension in his eyes and posture, Boris moved over to the bedroom.

He hesitated for a while before knocking, quickly recoiling his hand just in case the door was about to burst into flames. When it didn't, and no one yelled at him to stay away, he clenched his jaws and walked inside.

He noticed Rei lying on the bed, the pillow over his head and his body tangled restlessly in the sheets. His breathing was too uneven for him to be sleeping, but Boris decided not to say anything and instead just sat down by the foot end.

He sat listening to the shallow breathing for a while, neither moving nor thinking. Instead he just waited for the other to react, but Rei seemed very intent on pretending like he wasn't awake. Eventually Boris grew tired and pinched the exposed calf closest to him.

Rei jumped up with a loud yelp, rubbing his tender leg carefully.

''Boris! What the hell!''

Boris arched a brow.

''Now why are you hiding in here?''

''I was sleeping until you arrived.''

Boris scoffed.

''Yeah, right.''

Rei's face soured as he positioned himself in a more comfortable pose, making sure to hide all of his body under the blankets lest it be abused. Boris looked at him for a while without saying anything, until Rei gave him a glare.

''What?'' Rei muttered in hostility.

''What's up, kitten? Ran out of milk to sip?''

''You're a douche.''

Rei pulled the covers over him and disappeared somewhere in the bed. Boris looked sincerely confused at that. He leaned over the little lump of man and snatched the covers away from him, revealing the disheveled hair and the disgruntled face.

''Seriously Rei. Are you having your period or what?''

Since Rei didn't respond, Boris resorted to poking him. When that didn't work, he started shaking the man a little more violently by every second that went by.

''Rei?'' Shake. ''Rei?'' Shake. ''Rei?''

Shake.

''What?!''

''Why are you being such a girl?''

''I don't know, I thought you might want one!''¨

Boris wasn't quite sure what to answer to that.

''What?''

''Yeah, well I don't know whoever you've been seeing the past two weeks but whoever it is I hope they're pretty enough for your refined taste!''

Boris was seriously confused now. As Rei sprang up from the bed and stormed out of there, it took all the remaining brain activity he had to go after him. He soon found him in the kitchen, angrily scrubbing the counters clean. Since he was using Grease-B-Gone Super Formula Boris guessed that Rei was pretty distraught.

''Rei. Talk to me.''

Rei refused to look at him or even acknowledge his presence in the slightest. Rei knew he was being silly and stupid and also very girly, he knew that normally he wouldn't be acting like this if he could just calm himself down. But he didn't want to calm himself down. He had been watching the Hilary Show all week and he was feeling filled with womanly rage. Boris felt a bit flabbergasted at Rei's uncharacteristic behavior.

It almost sounded like Rei was hissing at him.

''Rei, come on.''

Boris was getting more and more frustrated. Feeling his patience run out of him he had to clench his fists in order to keep himself from lashing out.

''Fine! Be a bitch!''

Boris stormed out of the room with loud and angry steps while Rei only scrubbed harder. After a small moment he threw the washcloth violently into the sink, hiding his face in his hands as he groaned. He was just acting stupid and childishly. There was no need act like that towards Boris. He hadn't really done anything. Wouldn't it be better to just talk to him like a rational adult?

Sighing, Rei quickly followed the other man.

''Boris, I'm sorry, I just – ''

''No, fuck you Rei!''

Rei was dumbstruck by the sudden outburst, recoiling slightly in surprise.

''Calm down, Boris, I just wanted to apologize – ''

''I don't give a shit! I've done nothing for you to act like such a bitch! Just fuck off before I get angry!''

Rei wanted to comment on how Boris was already angry but decided against it for his own safety. Silently and much carefully, he walked up to Boris' turned back and attempted to sneak his arms around him. But Boris brusquely pushed him away and turned to glower at him.

''What's your god damn problem?!'' he shouted, voice sounding just a moment away from exploding.

''Hey, I said I was sorry! You don't have to get mad!''

''What the fuck did you expect? I come home, having done nothing and you dump all your shit on me!''

''Yeah, you also drop a reeking smell of smoke and bullshit!''

Boris' eyes widened, but Rei didn't really care. All rational thoughts had left him to make room for the rampaging anger. All the suppressed emotions that had been building up for the last couple of weeks. All the worry and the insecurity and the frustration just waiting to be let out.

''What?!''

''Oh, don't think I don't know what's going on!''

''What?! What is going on?!''

''You've been seeing someone, haven't you?''

''Are you fucking kidding me?''

Boris drew a hand down his face, looking tired and furious. Rei was also tired. So very, very tired and he didn't have the energy to hide it anymore.

''Disappearing all the time, at the exact same hour? And the way you smell… Have you been drinking all this time?''

''What the fuck kind of person do you take me for? I said I wouldn't, didn't I?''

''Don't try to act like you're honest!''

''What the hell do you mean by that?''

''I mean you're a cheating bastard!''

Boris bit his teeth down hard. A chaos of emotions storming in his eyes.

''What?''

''You've done it before, might as well be doing it again!''

Rei was sounding on the verge of hysteria, while Boris' was just sounding like he was about to snap his neck.

''How could I possibly be cheating on you when we're not even together? Are you delusional? I could fuck whoever I wanted and you wouldn't have a fucking say in it!''

''So I noticed last time!''

''We're not a couple, Rei! What is it that you can't grasp with that sentence? You broke up with me.''

''Yeah, and why's that, Boris? Hm?''

Boris growled as he ran his hands through his hair, tugging at it in frustration. When he looked at Rei there was nothing warm in his eyes. Rei knew that somewhere along the road he'd crossed the line. The sinking feeling in his gut told him that. Even so, it was too late to take his words back now.

''How many times are we going to go through this? It happened, okay? Get over it!''

''How can I possibly get over that?! You betrayed me! You just threw my trust in the trash like it was nothing!''

''What do you want me to say, Rei? Huh? That it was a mistake? That I was drunk? That I'm sorry?''

''I want you to tell me why. Why did you hate me so god damn much that you had to go and do that?!''

Without warning Boris slammed his fist into the wall, making a very expensive vase fall down from the bookcase. As the glass shards spread all over the floor, Rei couldn't help but think how poetical it was. Just like the vase, the atmosphere in the room, Boris' patience, Rei's own heart, felt like one word away from shattering.

''I did it, okay?'' Boris' breathing was heavy and labored. ''I did it. I fucked another person when I was with you, and I regret it. I regret it so god damn much but I can't change it and I can't make any excuses. All I can say is that I was shit drunk out of my mind and I just wanted something to let out all my frustrations on.''

Rei didn't say anything as the silence that came was too heavy for him to move.

''But one thing…'' Boris said. ''One thing you should know is that I… while it was… happening, I knew something was wrong. Something was off and strange and I couldn't figure out what but now I know that the thing missing was that she wasn't you.''

Rei could feel the intrusive touch of tears pushing behind his eyelids.

''She wasn't you and that… I wanted her to be you. But she wasn't. And it was stupid and I would take it back if I could but I can't. Okay? So just… fucking lay off me. I know it was a shitty thing to do. I know, Rei.''

The next passing minute the two of them just breathed. Rei was fighting the lump in his throat which only grew bigger, and eventually he couldn't stop the tears from flowing. As he turned his back to Boris he could hear the man sigh. It was a worn and tired sigh, a sigh that made his entire body hurt.

Without another word, Boris stormed out of the room and only seconds later, Rei heard the door slam.