Fire
59 B.C. Rome
It was really sunny outside and midsummer. So it was really hot outside. Mother was inside cleaning the house while father was at work. Lia and I were outside playing with the neighbor kids and their slave. The slave was hiding and we were trying to find him. Lia and the other children were more into the game that I was. At fourteen, I was far too old for games like this. But if it made Lia happy, that was good enough for me.
Lia was my little sister, six years younger than me. She relied on me the way she would if our parents were more attentive. I would never say that our parents didn't love us, because that wasn't the case. They were both simply very reserved. Even with each other, they weren't people that showed emotion often and father simply wasn't that good with children. He did try, but it took a great deal of effort from him and he was easily frustrated when something he planned didn't end up quite right. I like to think that once I'm older, father and I will be able to bond a little more than we did when I was a kid. And it did improve as I got older.
"Felix, look behind those barrels over there." I looked in the direction that Lia pointed out to me and I chuckled and shook my head.
"We already looked there, Lia." Lia crossed her arms at me and pouted.
"Well, look again, if you please." I laughed again at Lia's attempt at being polite while ordering me around. I did as she said and looked behind the barrels. As was the case last time, no one was there. But I noticed there was someone breathing. I listened to it a moment until I found the barrel that was loudest. I lifted up the lid, and there was the slave in question.
"Lia!" I looked at her and waited until she was looking at me. "I found him. He was in one of the barrels." Lia smiled and ran over to where I was standing. Then she tagged the little boy, and he ended up being the one it.
He sat in the barrel while I counted in my head while the other kids took the opportunity to hide. I'd made the mistake of counting in front of him once and his owner yelled at me for it. One thing learned by a slave was one too many, as she'd put it. So I never counted in front of the slaves again. When Lia and the other kids were hidden, I told the little boy to start looking. He jumped out and started looking around for the other kids. I have to say, as far as slaves go, he was treated really well. His owner made sure he ate three meals a day and she never yelled at him. He would be mistaken for a member of the family were it not for his inability to read and write and count.
He actually had a heavy accent from the land he'd been retrieved from. All we knew about where he was from was that his homeland has four seasons. Obviously somewhere up north. Here in Rome, we got two seasons at best. It was either always sunny and dry hot, or really rainy and wet hot. It wasn't nearly as bad as Sicily, though. There, it was humid, all day, every day, without stop. We'd been there to visit family and that was enough to know I never wanted to go to that island again.
While all the kids kept playing, I stood outside with them and supervised what they did. While I was in the square between the apartments, I smelled something good coming from our house. If there was one thing mother could do, it was cook. I called to Lia to come upstairs with me, but she didn't end up needing me to. She smelled mother's cooking before I did and was already on the stairs. Lia and I made our way up the stairs together and got inside, seeing mother at the fire stove cooking. She looked over her shoulder at us.
"You know the rules, you two. No food until your father gets home." Lia walked a little closer to the table.
"When will father get home?"
"Same time he always does. Around sunset." Lia looked out the window and smiled. It was starting to look like a sunset. That was a good indication father would be home from work soon. "By the way, Felix. Your farther said he wanted to talk to you about something."
"Did he say what?" Mother nodded.
"Something to do with you getting a job. 'You've been a kid long enough. It's time you learned some responsibilities as a man'." Lia looked at me sad.
"But mother, who will play with me through the day when Felix is gone?"
"The neighbor children. You play with them every day, don't you?" Lia nodded, but still looked sad.
"I do, but I like it better when I play with Felix."
"You and Felix can still play together, Lia. You'll just have to wait until he gets home from work is all."
"But then he'll be tired every day like father. Father never says two words to us because he's tired."
"If it makes you feel better, Lia, your father doesn't talk to me much these days either. He's never been much of a talkative person to begin with. I'm sure Felix will still talk to you when he gets home."
"Did he want me to work with him?" Mother shook her head.
"He would rather you didn't work with him. The pay isn't as good as it should be and there's a lot of swallowing your pride and letting Patricians bark orders at you. He would prefer that you get a job at the meat market or the slave docks. Frankly, I don't care if you get a job at a whore house as long as you get yourself a job."
"Is this everything father wanted to talk to me about?" Mother nodded.
"Yes. That's about it. He might bring up something about marriage, but I already told him no on that one, so he probably won't bring it up."
"Marriage?"
"Not now of course, but he wants you to start thinking about it. The sooner you have kids, the more help they'll be to you as he put it. Frankly, I don't think fourteen year olds are capable of being parents, so I'm not letting you get married just yet. I'm assuming you currently don't have anyone you would consider." I shook my head.
"Not really, no."
"Good. You think about silly things like that when you're out of the house and making your own way." Mother kept cooking a bit, then she had a thought and turned her attention back to me. "Speaking of jobs and getting out of the house, why don't you join the army?"
"The Roman Army?" Mother nodded.
"Sure. It's good pay, you're a respected citizen, you get to march in a parade every year by Battalion, you could even end up an aristocrat if you play your cards right."
"Mother, how would becoming a foot soldier make me a Patrician?"
"By being better than the other food soldiers. Save a few of their lives, get an important captain out of trouble, anything. Goodness dear, you could become a Prefect! A Tribune, a Centurion, Felix the possibilities for riches are endless. Look at Gaius Julius Caesar."
"Mother, Caesar was already a wealthy man before he became what he is now. Just because he's leading an army through Europe doesn't mean his soldiers are rich."
"Maybe not, but you can join the army and become a part of a European conquest. Even if you don't gain riches, that is commendable." I sighed.
"It's commendable if I live, mother. If I die, especially outside of Rome, I'm doomed." Mother sighed.
"It was just suggestion, Felix. All you need to do is weigh your options and find a job that you're best suited for and that you can actually acquire. Remember, Felix, just because you want a certain job, doesn't mean you're going to get it. So don't put all your eggs in one basket." As mother was talking, I heard the door open and looked over to see father walking in with his usual drained expression.
"I see your mother already filled you in on what I was telling her about." I nodded at father.
"Yes, she did. So I'll start looking for a job tomorrow?" He nodded.
"That would be best. You and I will leave together and you can walk with me to my job and you can start looking from there."
"Couldn't you put in a good word for me where you work?" He shook his head.
"Felix, you don't want to work where I do. You're a good kid, I don't want them turning you into a cynical pretentious asshole. I'd say we have enough of those in this family with me."
"You're not a cynical asshole father." Mother smiled.
"Clearly, you've never seen him talk to our meat man." Father gave mother a stern look and she bowed her head apologetically, still smiling a little, and went back to her cooking. I could tell dinner was almost done anyway. Lia walked over to father and gently pulled on his arm while he sat down.
"But father, I don't want Felix to get a job. His job is to stay here and play with me all day." Father had an uncharacteristic smile on his face for a moment and patted Lia's head.
"I know you don't want him to leave Lia, but he's a man now. He needs to work if he's ever going to provide for himself and a family one day. What if I were to die tomorrow and leave you and your mother with nothing? Felix doesn't have a job, so he can't take care of you."
"But father."
"Lia, don't be that way. I'm thinking of our wellbeing. That's my job as head of the household. Felix needs to learn that." Lia sighed and walked over to me.
"Only if he promises to make time for me after work." I smiled and patted Lia's head.
"I will Lia. Don't worry." Mother laughed a little.
"See, he doesn't need a wife. His sister's good enough." Father gave mother another look and she started serving dinner.
"I'm more concerned about him having children."
"He can worry about that when he's older. Let's worry about him getting a job before we make him look for dependants." Father sighed while mother gave him a helping of food and said nothing more for the rest of the night. That afternoon was an odd number of words for him. Usually, his words consisted of, 'Hello' and 'What a day', and then he would be silent the rest of the afternoon.
That night when Lia and I went to bed, she made me promise again that I wouldn't neglect her when I got a job and I promised I wouldn't. The next morning, mother made breakfast for us and father and I left together so I could start my job search. I started in the surrounding areas where father worked. No one in that area was hiring, so I kept going down that street asking everyone I came across. I passed a whore house and remembered what mother said, but I decided it would be best to save that as a last resort.
Sadly, those who were hiring were put off by my age. They didn't think a fourteen year old was capable of the work they needed done. By the time I'd gone down that whole district, no one was hiring period, or no one was hiring a fourteen year old. I tried another district, and still came up with nothing. I went home when the sun set, empty handed in a manner of speaking.
"How could no one be hiring? There's always someone hiring." I shrugged while mother had her quiet rant.
"I don't know. No one was hiring either because there were no positions open or because of my age." Mother suddenly stared wide eyed at me.
"Felix, please tell me you lied about your age."
"What are you talking about?" Mother sighed.
"Well no wonder you couldn't find a job. Felix, you need to tell them you're at least sixteen."
"What difference would that make? It won't change that I'm not as muscular as a few of them would like." Mother got her lecturing face on.
"Felix, if they bring up physic, you leave at once. No employer cares if his men aren't muscular unless he has mal-intentions. And no son of mine will become the 'up the butt' boy." My eyes widened while Lia, not getting what we were talking about, laughed a little.
"What makes you think every single employer in Rome wants me as an ass toy?" Mother gave me a look that made me feel like I was asking a stupid question.
"Because this is Rome, dear. These men will hump sheep if they have the option." Lia still had no idea what we were talking about, which I was relieved about. I didn't want her to have the same image in her head that I did.
"Mother, you're worrying too much." Mother sighed.
"I only worry because I love you, Felix. That's what mothers do." Lia smiled and hugged me.
"I love you too, Felix." I smiled and hugged Lia back. I was going to miss her whenever I was at work.
"Just keep looking tomorrow, okay? And this time when you look, don't tell them you're only fourteen. You tell them you're at least sixteen. If you can get them to believe you're eighteen, that would be better."
"Mother, they're not going to believe I'm eighteen."
"I said if you can." Mother smiled and walked over to me and kissed my forehead, then went back to dinner. I was sitting there stunned a moment, not sure what to think about what mother just did, but I let it go and took it for its rarity.
Then Lia grabbed my hand and pulled me to our section of the house so she could show me the bird's nest that was perched on our window. Neither of us knew what type of bird it was, but it was a common brown bird that was really small and could probably fit in Lia's tiny hands easily. I wanted to move the nest, but Lia insisted that I don't. She wanted to watch the baby birds grow up. Reluctantly, I let her keep the birds on the stoop and had spent the whole night desperately trying to ignore the bird while it was flittering and chirping. I hated birds with a passion by morning.
"You're planning to continue looking?" Father asked during breakfast. He was really asking as much as telling me, so I gave him the answer he wanted.
"Yes, father, I'll keep looking today. I promise to have a job by the time the sun sets."
"Good to hear, Felix, good to hear. Once you have a job, we can work on you getting a wife and moving into your own house."
"Husband, it's too soon to talk of such things. He only be fourteen."
"I was sixteen when we wed."
"And your father was a pushy man to put it kindly." Father waved his hand dismissively at mother and she didn't speak anymore.
When father and I finished breakfast, he went to work and I started looking for a job in another district. This time, I was sure to tell people I was sixteen when they asked, but I still didn't have luck that day. I wasn't sure why I couldn't seem to get a job. I couldn't imagine that my scrawny physique could be the reason. Though that might lead them to know my real age and hence not want me around. With no luck elsewhere, that whore house was looking pretty decent right about now. I was worried that if I came home without a job, father would whip me in aggravation.
Even when it was sundown, I kept looking for a job at all the places that were still open later after sunset. I tried a bar, but they didn't think I was old enough for the job. I even went to my last resort job at the whore house and they already had a slave doing the job they could hire me for. I wondered if father would reconsider putting in a good word for me at his place of work. It might not be a good job, but beggars couldn't be choosers I suppose. I was a good way away from home, but I was hoping I would get back home before midnight. I doubted mother would take the time to look outside to see how late I was, but it was a good idea to have the knowledge for myself just in case.
I walked home at a leisurely pace more or less. I wasn't in the best of moods at the moment, so I was trudging along as opposed to walking. When I was close to my home, I saw smoke in the distance. I couldn't tell where it was coming from exactly until I reached the street that crossed my house. When I saw the flames from my house, my eyes widened and I dashed to look for Lia. She wasn't there and she didn't answer me when she called. I asked one of the slaves if she was out and they told me no one had come out of my house and that the fire had been going on for a good ten minutes. That was all I needed to hear before I dashed into my house after covering myself with water.
Once I was soaked, I ran into the house and yelled for Lia. I didn't hear a response, but I saw two bodies in the bedroom being scorched. I knew who they were, so I took my eyes away and tried to hurry. I couldn't see through the smoke. The only light that pierced the smoke was the fire, but I followed the floor to mine and Lia's part of the house. I heard someone coughing and followed the sound hurriedly. My knees hit the side of something that felt like a bed, so I started feeling around until I found a small body. I lifted Lia into my arms and ran the way I came, trying to avoid any part of the house that had light. Once I was out of the house, I ran as far away from it as I could past all the spectators watching my house burn while two of our neighbors ordered their slaves to attempt to put out the fire. When I was a far enough distance away, I put Lia on the ground and examined her for any burns.
"Lia? Lia, can you hear me? Lia wake up." I patted her, relieved to find no burns on her. She coughed more, then opened her eyes.
"Felix? What happened?" I didn't need to answer her. She saw the flames behind me and stared at them wide eyed. "Where's mother and father?" I didn't have the heart to tell her. She looked at me with pleading eyes, begging me to answer her until I finally did.
"They were dead when I finally came home. I couldn't save them." Lia looked stunned. She stood up and walked a few inches towards the house, but did eventually stop.
"How did I live through that?"
"The fire hadn't gotten to you. And since you were right next to an open window and close to the ground, the smoke didn't do too much to you." I'm not sure if Lia was listening to me. She was staring at the burning house with tears in her eyes.
I noticed she was about to cry and walked over to her and took a hold of her trying to comfort her. When I had a hold of her, she buried her face into my stomach and started crying. The slaves were still trying to put out the fire, but it was almost gone with a few flames remaining. Lia was still hiding in my stomach, but had stopped crying a few minutes later when the house was finally clear of fire. I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't have any money for a new house and I couldn't take care of Lia. But I didn't want to say that to her.
"Don't worry, Lia. Everything will be alright. I'll take care of us." Lia sniffed through the clog in her throat and looked at me.
"What are you going to do?" I was quiet a moment. I wasn't sure what to do. Everywhere I went, no one would hire me, and even if they did, there was no way……….unless it was the army. Normally, I would never want to do this, but I didn't have any other option.
"I'll sign up for the army. First thing tomorrow."