A/N: As always, thanks to my scrumptious reviewers (hmm, that rather makes it sound like I want to eat you….er, don't worry—not the case): PkmnLuver292, Zippy4567Rainbow8275, ZoneSystems, Ami Ukiyo, miss larien, allaray, Emotionsonhold, Aen 06, existence555, Silver Scorpion, Kiley 1 09, EchoNightFall22, marinewife08, theycallherkaush, SucksRoyalHippogriff (have I mentioned how much I love your username? I think so. But seriously, awesome), i3fiction-novels, BrokenFaerie16, Evisawesome, MaryandMerlin, Elless, DarlingILoveYou, and Cassie Weasley!
And just because you're all incredibly amazing, I've posted this chapter early! Partially per Aen 06's request (you're welcome!), and partially because I was planning on making this chapter longer, but then it just got too long, and…well, I'll explain more at the end. For now, on with chapter 17!
And, just to remind you where we left off:
Caught up as I was with thoughts of werewolves, it was a moment before I realized the howling I was hearing was real, and not just conjured by my over-active imagination. When it finally registered in my ears, I spun quickly, heart hammering, and what I saw nearly made me faint with fear.
Chapter 17: Save Me
A gigantic wolf was rushing towards me, and I knew that I wouldn't have a chance to run or hide. I was going to be attacked by a werewolf. As the thought ran through my head, I let out a panicky laugh at the absurdity of it.
Though I expected it to simply keep running until it hit me full force, the werewolf slowed as it approached, eventually coming to a stop a few feet from me. It was growling low in its throat, and its bright eyes gleamed predatorily in the darkness.
"Remus?" I whispered, as though I might somehow be able to summon his human side to save myself. But the werewolf's haunches tightened, preparing it to leap at me. I closed my eyes, waiting for the feeling of teeth in my flesh, but it never came. Instead, I was hit, not from the front, as I was expecting, but from the side, knocked to the ground by something equally huge and hairy. I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder, and opening my eyes, I thought for one wild moment that it was another werewolf, but closer inspection revealed my savior to be a large black dog. It was currently crouched in front of me protectively, snarling and snapping at the werewolf, who had landed where I had just been, skidding to a halt and whirling around when it realized its prey had been knocked out of its path.
Seconds later, another animal joined the fray, this one standing out brilliantly against the night. It was a white stag, and instantly I knew; it was a perfect recreation of his Patronus. James. Prongs. My mind was trying furiously to wrap itself around the situation, and as it did, I realized something else—Padfoot . . . so the dog must be Sirius.
Just then, the dog and the stag—Sirius and James, I had to remind myself—lunged at the werewolf simultaneously, almost as though they'd planned it. I watched as the werewolf stumbled backwards to avoid being struck by the dog's paws or gorged by the stag's antlers. Regaining its footing, it jumped back at the dog, and I closed my eyes as its jaws locked around one of the dog's legs. Hearing a howl of pain, I opened them again in a panic only to see that it was the werewolf, not Sirius, who had cried out as the stag kicked it back with its hooves. Together, James and Sirius managed to drive the werewolf further towards the Forbidden Forest until finally, with a frustrated howl, it took flight into the woods.
Sirius and James stared after it for a moment, both breathing hard, before loping back over to me. I scrambled to my feet as they approached, suddenly wondering where the fourth member of their group was—Wormtail . . . what sort of animal—
I jumped slightly as I saw something moving in the grass. Looking down, I found the answer to my question: a brown rat, almost invisible against the dark grass, was scurrying around the feet of the dog and the stag, emitting little frightened squeaks.
I raised my eyes again to the others, still in their animal forms, and my gaze was immediately drawn to James. He looked back at me, a fierceness in his eyes that was surprising in such a gentle animal, and I found myself thinking how noble and . . . well, beautiful he was like this. I nearly laughed again, wondering where my mind was coming up with such thoughts. Shock, probably, I thought absently. Still, I couldn't stop myself from raising a hand towards the stag, as though to rest it on its soft nose. But before I got close enough to do so, it pulled its head back out of reach and started abruptly in the direction of the castle.
I heard a soft growling, and my heart stopped for a moment before I realized it was just Sirius—I'd nearly forgotten he was there. He came up to me now and barked once. I took that as a signal that I was supposed to follow James, and I did. We moved across the grounds in relative silence, me battling nervous giggles for the third time that night as I thought how odd we must look. But I understood why James, Sirius, and Peter weren't changing back yet—they might need to defend me again.
Shivering at the thought, I concentrated on the distant lights of the castle, focusing on the safety they promised. As though to reassure me, Sirius pressed his warm head into my palm briefly, and I reflexively bushed my hand over the fur there. Looking ahead again at James, I wished he would turn around, glance back—anything. I had a feeling he was angry, though I didn't know why.
A few yards from the oak front doors, we came to a halt and James, Sirius, and Peter returned to their natural forms. It was very quick—one minute a dog, stag, and rat stood before me, the next, all three were human again. "Are you all right?" Sirius asked immediately.
I suddenly found I couldn't meet any of their eyes. Looking down, I said quietly, "Yes. I—I wasn't—"
But before I could say another word, James grabbed my upper arm and dragged me roughly towards the castle. Too shocked by his harshness to say anything, I followed silently, Peter and Sirius hurrying along beside us. When we reached the brightness of the Entrance Hall, James started for the door on the right of the marble staircase that led to the dungeons.
"Where the hell are you going?" Sirius demanded.
James didn't answer.
"Prongs—" Peter started tentatively.
"Shut up, Wormtail," James snapped, turning into an empty room and flicking his wand to light the torches on the wall.
"All right, now, that's just—" Sirius started angrily.
But James slammed the door behind him and yanked me around to face him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded harshly.
Completely stunned by his outburst, I just stood there.
"What—why were you—how did you—" he said, so angry that he couldn't form a complete sentence.
My shock slowly turning to annoyance—after all, I was the one who'd almost been killed by a werewolf—I said, "I don't know how you figure you have a right to be angry with me—"
"Because you've been so bloody stupid! I mean, what, you just fancied a walk outside under the full moon? What the hell were you thinking? You knew that Remus—"
"Well, excuse me, but no one said anything about him running around on the grounds every month! Or that the three of you are, I'm assuming, illegal Animagi!"
"Which is why we couldn't tell you about it, obviously!"
"Then you can't yell at me for this! I think, of the four of us, you're the one being stupid here—"
"So what would you suggest we do? We became Animagi for Remus's sake; it's not like we just did it for laughs or anything—"
"I don't care—that's not the point!"
"Oh, I see," Potter said scathingly. "You think he doesn't deserve our help, because he's too dangerous, that he doesn't deserve for the experience to be anything but incredibly painful—God, Evans, you're just as prejudiced as the rest of them."
"James!" Sirius yelled, sounding shocked.
I felt like Potter had punched me in the stomach. I couldn't believe he'd said—that he'd had the nerve to say that to me!
"Okay, that's it," Sirius continued. "You"—he pointed a commanding finger at Potter—"go—go sit down and just shut up until you've calmed the hell down." Potter obeyed, throwing himself furiously into an empty desk. Sirius turned to me, and I blinked rapidly to fight back the tears that had sprung to my eyes. "You sure you're okay?" he asked more gently.
"No," I said truthfully.
Sirius glared at James again. "But, you haven't been hurt or anything, right? I think I might have scratched you a bit when I knocked you down . . ."
Belatedly remembering the sting in my shoulder, I glanced down to find that I was, indeed, bleeding from a couple of shallow grazes on my shoulder. "Yeah, I guess you did, a little, but it's not too bad—"
"Here," Sirius said, taking out his wand and directing it at my injury. Instantly, the wounds knitted themselves back together, giving the cuts an appearance of being several days old. "I've had a lot of practice," he added, somewhat bitterly, in response to my surprised look.
"Well, are you going to tell her—" James started derisively, and my blood boiled again at the sound of his voice.
"Yeah, I think I told you to be quiet, Prongs," Sirius snapped. More calmly, he added to me, "You might want to sit as well—it's kind of a long story."
I complied, situating myself so I wouldn't have to look at Potter.
"Right," Sirius said quietly. He glanced at Peter, who had remained fearfully silent so far, then looked back at me. "So, you know the first part, about Dumbledore allowing Remus to come to Hogwarts, planting the Whomping Willow, and all of that. Well, for our first few months here, he hid all of that from the three of us, making excuses as he has to you about being sick, or his mother being ill . . . of course, he couldn't hide it forever, not from his best mates, and we eventually figured it out.
"Well, at first—being us—we thought it was ridiculously cool that one of our friends was a werewolf." He smiled a little. "But we soon realized it really wasn't cool at all, at least not for Remus. He'd come back after every full moon with fresh cuts and scratches that he'd given himself. Not to mention that the whole process completely wiped him out. And while we couldn't help with that second bit, we knew there must be some way to deal with the issue of him attacking himself. The problem was that he had no where to go—being trapped like that is what triggered the self-injury."
"So you became Animagi," I said, understanding.
Sirius nodded. "It took a while—"
"Especially for me," Peter muttered, and Sirius grinned at him.
"—but we managed it at the beginning of last year."
"So you do this"—I gestured vaguely between them and towards the outside of the castle—"every month?"
Sirius nodded.
"And Remus hasn't—I mean, he's never . . . attacked anyone?"
"Not until tonight," Sirius said, his face hardening slightly. "Lily—God, I'm sorry about all of this—I know apologizing doesn't really seem right, but . . . you must think we're a bunch of idiots, and I'm starting to think that a bit myself, but you—you understand . . . why, don't you?"
I smiled slightly. "I've never understood why you're idiots, Sirius"—he returned my smile—"but yes—I get it. Why you had to do it. For Remus." I glanced back briefly at James, but he was no longer looking at any of us. He'd leaned forward on the desk, his head in his hands. I felt absolutely no sympathy for him this time, however—what he'd said to me was unforgiveable. I didn't care if he'd been angry . . . and I suddenly realized how similar this was to what had happened between Sev and I last year. Ignoring the disturbing sense of déjà vu, I looked back at Sirius. "So, um, back to the common room, then?" I said, fully aware of how odd that sounded.
Sirius and Peter exchanged glances again. "Actually, we have to—er," Peter started uncomfortably.
"We've got to get Remus back into the Shack, so he doesn't wake up in the middle of the Forbidden Forest tomorrow," Sirius finished matter-of-factly.
"Oh. Right," I said. "Well, thanks for, um, saving me and—and everything," I added awkwardly. Turning away, I started for the door.
"Evans!" Potter suddenly called out from behind me.
I looked around to find him on his feet, but before he could say anything, I cut in contemptuously, "Potter, I'd appreciate it if you never tried to speak to me again."
OOOOOOOO
I'd been undeservedly harsh—I realized it before I'd even climbed the stairs to the second floor. But at the moment, I really couldn't bring myself to care. You're just as prejudiced as the rest of them. I felt anger pulse through me again as the words echoed in my head. And yet . . . a very small, nearly unacknowledged part of me didn't want this to be the end of James's and my short-lived friendship.
My stubbornness and sill-fresh fury quickly doused that thought, however. I focused instead on praying that the common room would be empty of both A.J. and Mary—I really didn't want to talk to either of them about what had happened tonight just yet. Especially since there wasn't much of it I could tell A.J. That's going to be a fun conversation, I thought sardonically. I'll have to come up with some sort of excuse for why I never came back after rounds . . .
I breathed a sigh of relief as I crossed the mostly deserted common room, but sighed inwardly as I entered my dorm to find all three of my roommates still awake. Marlene and Dorcas were sitting on Marlene's bed and chatting about something—I didn't really care what—and Mary was reading on her bed, but she set her book aside as soon as she saw me.
"Where've you been?" she asked, sounding curious rather than accusatory. "A.J. asked me earlier if I'd seen you—"
"Was he mad?" I asked apprehensively.
Mary shrugged. "No, I don't think so. He went to bed about half an hour ago." I nodded. Frowning, Mary added, "Is something wrong? You seem . . . distracted." Why ever could that be, I wonder? Just as I was about to lie and say I was fine—I'd tell Mary the truth eventually, of course, but right now I just wanted to sleep—her blue eyes found the slash marks in the right shoulder of my robes.
"Why are your robes ripped?" she demanded.
Marlene and Dorcas's conversation stopped abruptly; out of the corner of my eye, I saw them glance over at us. No doubt 'attacked by a werewolf' was low on their list of explanations for why my robes might be ripped. Nevertheless, I wasn't going to explain things to Mary where they could overhear.
"Caught my sleeve on a low-hanging branch," I invented, hoping my voice sounded nonchalant, even as I shot Mary a significant look. "I went for a walk after rounds." Well, at least that part's true.
Catching on, Mary nodded. "Oh, right," she said, and I narrowed my eyes slightly at her just a bit too casual tone. "Listen, I've just remembered I left a book in the common room—I'm going to run down there and get it before I forget."
"Okay," I said, giving her a small smile—this time she'd sounded less suspicious.
As the door shut behind Mary, I changed into my pajamas like nothing was wrong. Eventually, Marlene and Dorcas resumed their conversation—listening in this time, I gathered that it was about some sixth year Ravenclaw bloke who'd had 'the nerve' to ask out Melinda Jones, also a Ravenclaw, and the prettiest girl in our year. I rolled my eyes—good for him, I'd say.
Engrossed as they were in discussing just how much the two wouldn't make a good couple, neither noticed me slip quietly out of the dorm.
Mary was waiting for me in the common room, which was now devoid of any students. "So?" she pressed as soon as I reached her.
Taking a deep breath, I launched into the story of Remus's attack and how James and Sirius had driven him away, saving my life. The whole thing still sounded absurd to me, but when I'd finished, Mary only looked horrified. I figured this was probably due to the fact that she'd already known part of it—the part about James, Sirius and Peter being Animagi—and I told her as much.
"That's what you nearly told me when you found out I'd figured everything out about Remus, isn't it?"
Mary nodded. "Yes, but Merlin, Lily, that's hardly the point—I can't believe that you—I mean he could have—you could have been—"
"I know," I interrupted her. "I'm trying not to think about it, to be perfectly honest."
Mary seemed to collect herself a little. "Right, of course—I'm sorry."
"No, don't apologize—speaking of apologies, any ideas for what I can tell A.J.? Since I can't, obviously, share basically any of the truth of what happened tonight."
My friend bit her lip, thinking. After a minute or so, she shook her head. "I don't know, Lily, I guess you'll just have say you got caught up with rounds or something."
"You know I'm a terrible liar, Mary."
She smiled slightly. "Well, practice makes perfect, right?"
I rolled my eyes, and we started back upstairs to our dormitory. Despite what I'd said, I had successfully avoided telling her anything about my fight with Potter—not exactly a lie, I know, but still. However, this was Mary we were talking about, so I knew she'd find out about it eventually.
OOOOOOOO
I started off the next day irritated and tired and ended it in tears.
First, I didn't get much sleep, punctuated as it was by dreams of being chased by . . . something—I was never able to work out whether my pursuer was human or otherwise. Still, it didn't take a genius to figure out what had inspired the theme. So I was crabby when I woke and had a slight headache from lack of sleep. It worsened when I realized halfway through my shower that I hadn't done any of my homework from the day before. Consequently, I skipped breakfast to finish Arithmancy—my first lesson of the day. While I was working on it, A.J. descended into the common room on his way to breakfast. Spotting me, he immediately came over and asked what had happened to me last night.
"Look, I'm sorry about that, but I really can't talk right now—I have to finish this in"—I checked my watch—"twenty minutes, and since an Arithmancy assignment normally takes me about an hour, I'm going to need a miracle as it is."
A.J. frowned at me, looking slightly affronted. "What happened?" he repeated.
Brushing my hair out of my eyes with an impatient sigh, I said, "What did I just—"
"Yeah, I heard you," A.J. said, somewhat snappishly, "but I think you'll be okay skipping out on homework once in your life. There's something you're not telling me."
How the hell can he already read me that well? I thought, annoyed. I suppose I shouldn't have been—weren't girls usually complaining about how unperceptive their boyfriends were? But in this case, I could have done without it. "I'm sorry," I said again, trying to sound sincere despite my currently short-circuited temper. "I got caught up—" I started, thinking of Mary's suggestion the previous night. But I knew it would sound fake, so I stopped, sighed again, and said instead, "No, you're right—something did happen that I'm leaving out." I paused, knowing what I was going to say next wouldn't exactly make A.J. jump for joy. "But I . . . I can't tell you." Merlin, that sounded lame even to me.
"You can't tell me," A.J. repeated, slowly and skeptically.
I winced at his tone. "I'm not just saying that because it's . . . embarrassing, or—or something I don't want you to know—please, believe me."
It was A.J.'s turn to sigh. "Fine, I believe you," he said, though he didn't sound quite truthful. "See you at lunch, then?"
I hesitated. "I still have Transfiguration to do too, and I'll try and get it done during break, but—"
A.J. raised his eyebrows. "Okay, I'll just see you—sometime. Maybe. If you can work me into your schedule." He definitely sounded angry now.
I frowned at him. "Come on, A.J., that's not fair."
"Oh, isn't it? Because I was under the impression that when you're dating someone, you're generally supposed to spend time with them."
"Well, I'm not going to be with you every waking second, if that's what you want," I said, frustrated.
"And yet, you had time last night to do . . . whatever this mystery thing is that you just can't tell me."
I let out a bitter laugh. "Trust me, if you knew what it was, you wouldn't be jealous."
"But you're still not going to tell me." It wasn't a question. When I didn't answer, A.J. snorted derisively. "Right, okay, see you."
And before I could say a word in protest, he strode to the portrait hole and out of sight.
I stared after him for a bit before remembering my Arithmancy. I worked for about five more minutes before deciding it was a lost cause and rushing off to class. On my way there, I tried to convince myself of what A.J. had said, that I could skip one assignment without needing to feel guilty. After all, Potter and Sirius had definitely skived off their fair share of homework (and class, come to that), and they still managed to get top grades. Merlin, that was annoying. My guilt wouldn't listen, however, and it was only heightened when I ended up being a couple minutes late for class.
"Sorry, Professor," I mumbled as I slid into my usual seat at the front, beside Andrew.
"It's all right, Miss Evans," Epsilon assured me with a smile. "I'd only just collected the homework—I've yet to start the lesson, so you haven't missed anything." He held out an expectant hand for my assignment, and I blushed to the roots of my hair.
"I—er—didn't finish it," I said quietly.
Epsilon looked surprised for a moment, but recovered quickly. "Fine," he said, and though he didn't sound angry or disappointed, a fresh wave of shame swept through me. "Now, I believe there are still some questions concerning the new method of solving Artemian equations that I presented on Monday . . ."
OOOOOOOO
Thankfully, Transfiguration went much smoother, and I was able to finish the work during break. Glad that I'd finally be able to eat today, I set off for lunch, hoping to find Mary—I'd left in a bit of a hurry that morning, and I still felt bad for lying to her last night—er, by omission, anyway—so I'd resolved to tell her the rest of the details.
However, before I could spot my brunette friend, A.J. called my name from near the entrance of the Great Hall. Turning, I waited for him to catch up to me. "Look, I'm sorry for getting mad earlier," he started. "I just—"
"No, it's okay," I assured him. "I understand why you were—and I really do wish I could tell you, but—"
"It's okay," A.J. echoed. "If you say you can't tell me . . . well, I trust you."
I felt another stab of guilt, and something of it must have shown in my expression, because as small crease appeared between A.J.'s eyes.
"So we're good, then?" he asked, somewhat uncertainly.
I smiled reassuringly at him, nodding.
"Good," he said with a grin, giving me a quick peck on the lips. Taking my hand, he started leading me towards the Gryffindor table. But as soon as I realized he was heading for where the Marauders were sitting, I stopped dead, yanking A.J. back slightly, as he was still attached to my hand. "What's up?" he said, confused.
"I—we can't sit there," I said hastily.
"Why not?"
"Because—Potter . . ." I trailed off, unsure how to explain this. "Er, so, last night—"
"Wait, you were with him last night? That's what you were doing?" A.J. said, dropping my hand.
"No! Well, yes, I mean he did come on rounds with me for a bit—"
Too late, I realized it was a mistake to say this. "You told me you didn't want any company," A.J. accused.
Shit. "Shit. A.J., I didn't—" I started, trying to backtrack.
"Don't bother explaining; I get it," he said scathingly, and turned abruptly to sit with some of his fifth year friends.
God, he is being such a girl about this! I thought, exasperated. For a moment, I considered going after him, to force him to listen while I explained everything, but just then, Potter glanced up and our eyes met. Looking away quickly, so he wouldn't think he could try and talk to me again, I grabbed an apple off the table and left the Hall.
A/N: So as I said above, I was planning on finishing up Lily's horrible day in this chapter, but it became WAAAAAY too long, so I decided to split it up into two….with the result that the next chapter will be shorter as well, BUT also out in less than a week. Probably. I 90% promise it ;) (if that makes sense).
Aen 06—Yeah, so, even though I updated early, not exactly any cute L/J moments in this one….quite the opposite, actually! Sorry…I'll make it up to you in the next chapter? (actually, there IS a pretty cute L/J moment in that one…)
SucksRoyalHippogriff—Er, Lily sort of got hurt, though not by Remus, sorry…I did try and change it up a bit, though, with Sirius saving her and explaining everything, while James raged around like an idiot…:)