A/N: I always feel redundant starting with "thanks to last week's reviewers" or something similar…but there's really only so many ways you can say thank you. Anyway, just a random thought. But, really, thanks to: swimer123, GiantPurpleRing, Bittersweet x, Aen 06, Spoo Koo, Dozy Dora, Forest Archer, BrokenFaerie16, marinewife08, Ami Ukiyo, Evisawesome, 0-0 (for some reason, your name kept disappearing?), Emotionsonhold, DarlingILoveYou, emandem, ottoismydog, Cassie Weasley, Silver Scorpion, MaryandMerlin, Pkmnluver292, i3fiction-novels, livingintwilight10593, SucksRoyalHippogriff, EchoNightFall22 and iDream Out Loud!

Previously, on Resolution: James was an idiot. So was A.J. (however, contrary to what some of you hoped, he's not quite out of the picture yet…). Boys are dumb.

Fab summary, no? I thought so ;) Also, just to get your bearings, this picks up right after lunch on the day after Lily was attacked by werewolf-Remus.

Chapter 18: Take It Back

"Did you and James have a fight?" Mary hissed at me as I slid into a seat next to her for Transfiguration that afternoon—on time with my homework done, I might add.

"What? How did you even—" I started, surprised she'd figured it out that quickly, despite knowing she would eventually. However, I was interrupted as McGonagall called for silence and began the lesson.

In between taking notes, I hastily scribbled a note to Mary. How did you find out about that?

So it's true, then, she wrote back.

Yes! Now stop avoiding my question.

Marlene told me—apparently she heard it from Carin (a Ravenclaw girl in our year) who got it from one of A.J.'s friends, who got it from A.J.

After I'd taken a few seconds to work out this confusing line of gossip, I wrote back, trying to ignore the way my stomach squirmed uncomfortably as I remembered A.J.'s angry words at lunch. I hate how fast gossip travels at Hogwarts. Anyway, I don't know why everyone should be so interested—a row between Potter and I is hardly earth-shattering news.

Right, but it is now that you're trying to be friends—at least, it is to me. What did you row about?

It's too complicated to explain in a note—I'll tell you later. However, Mary never received this reply, because I'd nearly forgotten we were in class and therefore wasn't looking to see if McGonagall was watching as I passed the note back to her.

"Miss Evans!" came her severe voice from the front of the room, and my hand froze halfway to Mary's desk. "I cannot imagine what could be so important for you to discuss that it would drive you to write notes in my class."

"I—it's not—sorry, Professor, I just—"

My feeble attempts at an explanation caught in my throat as McGonagall strode over and snatched the parchment from my hands. I felt myself turning red as her eyes flew over mine and Mary's words. When she'd finished, she fixed me with a stern look, arching one thin eyebrow austerely. "I'm afraid you and Miss Macdonald will just have to wait until after the lesson to continue your conversation about your personal problems with Mr. Potter."

I could have died right then. Honestly, I sincerely prayed for a few moments that a lightening bolt would strike me down. When none came, I settled for staring resolutely at either McGonagall or the notes on the board behind her for the remainder of class, not wanting to risk meeting anyone's eye, least of all Potter's. I could almost feel his boring into the back of my skull, and nearly sprinted from the room the second the bell rang.

Mary hurried to catch up with me.

"Merlin, that was embarrassing," I muttered. "Really, did she have to announce it to the entire class?"

"At least she didn't give you detention," Mary pointed out.

"I would have preferred that to complete humiliation," I said resentfully.

"So?"

"Right, Potter. Well, let's just say I think our little friendship experiment is officially over." And I told her what had transpired in the small room off the Entrance Hall after my close call with Remus.

When I was done, I turned to see Mary biting her lip hesitantly.

"What?"

"Well, I don't know, Lily—don't you think you're being a little unfair?"

I just stared at her.

"I mean," Mary hurried on, "that's not exactly worth ending your friendship over, is it?"

"I can't believe you're taking his side! Come to think of it, you do that alarmingly often for someone who's supposed to be my best friend!"

Mary frowned at me. "Oh, stop it, Lily," she snapped. "You're acting childish—and I only take his side when he deserves it, and when you're being—"

"What? He doesn't deserve it! He accused me of—"

"Yes, I know—I heard you the first time," Mary interrupted impatiently. "But he was angry; everyone says stupid things when they're angry. You of all people should know that." Immediately, Mary clapped a hand over her mouth, horrified. "I didn't—that's not what I meant, Lily—"

"Really? Because I think that's exactly what you meant to say," I retorted. "If you feel the need to offer more of your brilliant support, I'll be in the library."

"Lily, wait—"

But I didn't turn or slow my brisk stride as I headed for the one place where I could always find sanctuary.

OOOOOOOO

It was worse, much worse, being in the library. Too quiet, it gave me ample chance to dwell on how horrible the last twenty-four hours had been. On top of that, I wasn't able to get any work done at all, which meant I'd be facing another frantic day of catching up tomorrow.

As I headed up to get Remus for rounds—yes, this also happened to be the one week a month where we were on duty two nights in a row—I realized I hadn't eaten supper. My stomach grumbled mournfully at this revelation, but there was nothing I could do about it now. When I entered the common room, my eyes, as though by some magnetic force, were immediately drawn to Mary, sitting over in our usual corner. She seemed to be resolutely avoiding my gaze, or perhaps she merely hadn't seen me walk in. However, I would have felt pretty comfortable putting money on the former.

Looking away quickly, I saw that my path to Remus would take me past A.J. and his friends. Sighing, but at this point resigned to the unjust suffering that was currently my life, I walked over to the Marauders's fireside chairs, pretending I didn't see A.J.'s glare as I passed.

Both Remus and Potter looked up as I approached, and I thought I saw something akin to apprehension flash through Remus's eyes (something might have flashed through Potter's as well, but I was currently pretending he didn't exist, so I couldn't say). Belatedly, I considered that Remus would undoubtedly feel incredibly guilty about last night—in the chaos of today, I'd nearly forgotten I'd almost been attacked by a werewolf. Guess that said something about how bad my day had been.

Cringing inwardly at the thought of having to endure his apologies, when they were completely unnecessary, I attempted to make my voice light and normal as I asked, "So, you ready? You better be, because I'm not doing it by myself again." God, Lily, what is wrong with you? I thought in frustration, it's bad enough without you throwing out a huge hint about it.

Thankfully, Remus merely nodded and stood to follow me out of the common room. Just before I turned away, Potter said, "You can't ignore me forever, you know." Apparently he hadn't taken the hint from my indifference.

Raising my eyebrows and giving him a look that clearly said, 'just watch me,' I left without saying a word.

The minute we cleared the portrait hole, Remus looked at me seriously and said, "Look, Lily, I feel horrible about—"

"Remus," I interrupted shortly, "if you so much as try to apologize to me for what happened yesterday, I swear to all that is magical I will curse you into the next century."

After a moment of slightly shocked silence, Remus said, "Point taken." Pause. "So, you and James are fighting, huh?"

I fixed him with a look that would have made a lesser man cower in fear. But Remus had seen his fair share of them—granted, they were usually directed at Potter and not him, but still—so he met my gaze evenly. "That's the topic you decided to switch to? You realize that, right now, Potter is a subject that will not help you in the cursing-you-into-the-next-century department."

"Well, I've always fancied the idea of time travel, so . . ." Remus said with a small smile.

I stared at him, open-mouthed. "This isn't funny! Merlin, everything is a joke with all of you, isn't it?"

That wiped the smile off his face. "I perfectly understand the seriousness of what happened, if that's what you mean," he said, a little tersely.

I grimaced. "No, of course, I know you do."

"And I think you should forgive James."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, obviously you'd say that—he's your best mate. You're morally obligated to take his side." Something Mary doesn't understand, evidently.

Remus snorted. "No, I'm not. But . . . Lily, can't you cut him a little slack?"

I sighed in frustration. "Why doesn't anyone—you know what he said to me, right?"

"Yes, but I also know—and you know it too—that he didn't mean it."

"I don't care."

"He knows you don't think that," Remus continued, as though I hadn't spoken. "More importantly, I know you don't think that. I told you he always gets too righteously angry on my behalf."

"Yeah, but not with Sirius or Peter, I bet," I said, still refusing to believe I was in the wrong.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "He was pretty pissed last year, after Sirius pulled that prank on Snape. So was I, come to that," he muttered.

"Well, that's because Sirius was an idiot. I, on the other hand, didn't do anything to deserve—" I stopped, realizing how self-righteous that sounded. "Merlin, I sound like a snob, don't I?" Sighing, I added, "Anyway, you're not going to convince me to run back right now to apologize—wait, what am I saying? He's the one who needs to apologize."

"And I fully agree with that—I just think you should give him the chance to."

I didn't answer, and we continued rounds mostly in silence for the rest of the night. My cursed conscience was starting to make me feel guilty about blowing up at Potter—I mean, he had deserved some of it, but perhaps requesting that he 'never speak to me again' had been a little harsh. And frankly, slightly melodramatic. Of course, this (paradoxical as it may seem) only made me angrier at him, because I hated apologies. I took out my anger on the many snogging couples—just one of those nights, I guess—Remus and I had to kick out of alcoves and off the Astronomy tower. Seeing them not only nauseated me slightly, but also reminded me (again) of my fight with A.J., with the result that I gave the last couple detention without a second thought and ordered them out of my sight within five seconds, or it would be a week's worth of detentions. Both shot me dirty looks; but, in my defense, they were only third years—it's not like their relationship could possibly be going anywhere. I mean, the average lifespan of a relationship in my third year had been about a week. Plus, they were out after curfew, so that would have been reason enough for detention.

To his credit, Remus didn't comment on the punishment; instead, he helpfully glared authoritatively after the retreating couple. His face relaxed the minute they were out of sight, and if I hadn't been feeling so cross and tired and hungry, I would have laughed.

"What's the point when you're thirteen?" I remarked to no one in particular.

As Remus was the only other person present, he naturally assumed I'd been addressing him. "Practice, I s'pose," he answered thoughtfully.

I rolled my eyes. "You don't need practice; honestly, it's not that hard."

Remus shrugged. "I don't know—I think it's somewhat valid."

"I'm sure your kissing is more than satisfactory, Remus."

He smirked at me. "Offering to kiss me again, are you, Lily?"

I glared at him. "No, I'm merely speculating on your snogging talents."

"Clearly."

At this point, we'd reached the common room, and I let Remus enter first.

"Well, I appreciate the vote of confidence," he added over his shoulder with a grin.

But I wasn't really listening, because I'd just spotted Mary, A.J., and Potter again—none of them had moved in the past two hours. Suddenly, everything that I'd studiously refused to deal with all day came rushing forth, threatening to overwhelm me. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes, and before I knew what I was doing, I'd turned abruptly back the way I'd come, striding out of the portrait hole again and down a corridor at random, no particular destination in mind.

I'd barely taken ten steps when a voice called out behind me.

"Evans!"

Potter. Whirling around, I snapped, "I'm not speaking to you, Potter, remember?"

"Okay, well, ignoring the fact that you just did, I was—" he stopped suddenly as he reached me and noticed the tears shining unshed in my eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked, his tone changing from irritated to concerned.

And that was it. I lost it. "Everything!" I cried, tears streaking down my cheeks. "I didn't finish my Arithmancy homework, even though I skipped breakfast to do it, and then I was late to class for the first time in my life—I mean, Epsilon didn't give me detention or anything, but it was still humiliating! I couldn't have lunch because you were there, and A.J. had just freaked out at me because we went on rounds together last night even though I'd turned down his offer come with me. Mary's completely on your side for some reason, and so is Remus, and they've both made me feel like a horrible person, so I'm all guilty about that, and now, to top it off, I've just given you a huge speech about my problems even though I never wanted to talk to you again!"

Exhausted by my outburst, I leaned back against the wall beside me, sliding down to sit at its base. Though most males would rather be anywhere than with a hysterical crying girl, James only hesitated briefly before imitating my actions so that he was seated beside me. He glanced at me, but, having gained control of myself at last, I was now staring resolutely at the wall across from us, and he soon turned his head to do the same. "Well, I didn't really understand any of that—" he started, and I let out a shaky half-laugh, "—but I am glad you're talking to me again, because I need to apologize to you." He looked at me again, and didn't seem perturbed when I didn't reciprocate the gesture. "Lily"—there he was, using my first name again—"I'm really sorry for what I said last night—I've felt horrible about it all day. You didn't deserve it, and I didn't mean it, I was just—"

"Angry," I finished for him. "I know. And it's all ri—"

"No, I wasn't angry. I mean, I was, but it was more to cover up the fact that I was . . . scared." He said this last part quietly.

That finally made me look at him, because it was the last thing I'd expected him to say. "What?" I said, a small frown creasing my brow.

"We've never had a close call like that, in the whole year and a half we've been going out with Remus on full moons—well, unless you count Snape. But this wasn't Snape, and even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even him, I especially didn't want it to be you, and I—if Sirius had gotten to you even a half second later . . . I don't think I've ever been that scared in my life." He smiled crookedly. Neither of us spoke for a moment, and then Potter added, "I didn't mean for that to sound like I . . . I mean, I'm not . . . you know."

I nodded.

"And after last night, I'd half-expected you to rather be friends with Sirius than me." The left corner of his mouth lifted slightly again.

"Trust me, I wouldn't," I said hurriedly. Both of us looked up in equal surprise. "Wow, really?" I asked.

James shrugged, bemused. "I don't know, you said it."

"No, I know, I just—wasn't exactly expecting it." I laughed. "Well, that sounds strange."

"I'd say it sounds about right, actually, considering."

"Considering what?"

"Us," he replied simply, and I had to agree. I'd spent so long avidly not wanting to be friends with Potter that it was only fitting for the realization that the opposite was now true to sneak up on me.

So, I actually do want to be friends with him, and it's not just some crazy phase. That's nice to know, I guess. "At least I know I'm not insane," I said aloud.

"What?"

"Never mind. Though I think one could make the argument that you cursed it all from the beginning by calling it a resolution."

"What?" James repeated.

"You said it was my New Year's resolution, trying to be friends with you. And everyone knows those are basically made to be broken."

James grinned. "A fair point. Well, then, I apologize for that as well." He paused thoughtfully. "Must be some kind of record, don't you think?"

I raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Two huge fights in one day—one night, even—"

"—One hour," I muttered.

James inclined his head towards me. "—and to have made up after both of them within twenty-four hours?"

I nodded. "Definitely one for the record books."

"Guess this means you'll have to start calling me 'James' now, huh?" he said with a smirk.

"Don't push it, Potter."

"All right, all right—all in good time, right, Evans?" he asked, putting a delicate emphasis on the last word.

"Exactly."

Potter sighed. "I knew we were in for a hard run, but I never thought this friendship thing would be so complicated," he said, the hint of a smile in his voice.

"Well, someone once told me it's not a relationship unless it's complicated," I said innocently.

The smile escaped from his voice onto his face. "Yes, I remember that. He's a rather brilliant bloke, wouldn't you say?"

I laughed and shoved James so that he was forced to put out a hand to keep from falling over.

"Speaking of relationships," James continued in a casual voice, "word on the street is A.J. is jealous of me." He looked over mischievously.

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you said you didn't understand any of my outburst," I muttered. "Though I suppose it's only fair—the jealousy thing, I mean—we're even now, aren't we?"

James grinned. "That's true. But I doubt you two will break up over it—he really likes you, after all."

I looked at him shrewdly. "How do you know?"

"Because he told me," James said breezily. He raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think I introduced you in the first place?"

My jaw dropped. Potter playing matchmaker? Now that is strange. "You—" But before I could say anything else, I was interrupted by a loud gurgling sound.

"Merlin, Evans, was that your stomach?"

I grimaced. "Yes. I sort of haven't had anything to eat today." As I said it, my stomach growled again.

"Nothing?"

"Well, I had an apple at lunch . . . ugh, can we not talk about it? It's just making it worse." Now that the subject had been broached, I was acutely aware of how painfully empty my stomach felt.

"Right—this is the time for action, not words," Potter said, standing and offering me his hand.

As he pulled me to my feet, I asked, "What do you mean? Are you suggesting we go to the kitchens? Because they're so far away . . ."

James rolled his eyes. "So you'd rather starve to death?"

"Well no, but—"

"Besides, you've forgotten who you're with, my dear. I can get from here to the kitchens in about two minutes."

"Really?" I said skeptically.

"Would I lie to you?"
"Yes."

"Okay, fine, but would I lie to you about food?"

I smiled. "All right, lead on Potter. I have to get my bag from the library at some point anyway, so I suppose I might as well eat while I'm at it."

"An excellent philosophy."

So we started down the corridor towards the stairs. But just as we passed the portrait hole, A.J. came bursting out of it, and, spotting me, said, "Lily, I have to talk to you."

"Er," I started, glancing at James. Not that I felt bad about ditching him, but I was really hungry . . . Wait, what am I saying? That my stomach is more important than my boyfriend? That sounds like a Sirius Black move—I really should stop hanging around them so much.

James grinned. "See you," he said to me, but instead of going back into the common room, as I expected, he continued the way we'd been heading.

Figuring he'd succumbed to the power of suggestion and was going to the kitchens to get something for himself—after all, the boy could always eat—I turned my attention to A.J. Not wanting to forgive him too easily, since I was really losing my touch in that area, if how readily I'd accepted Potter's apology was anything to go by, I crossed my arms and fixed an aloof look on my face.

"What do you want?" I asked, keeping my voice clipped and meeting his eyes evenly. This was somewhat of a mistake, I soon discovered, because his eyes were definitely my weak point.

"Look, Lily, I'm sorry I was such a prick today; I guess I just got a bit jealous, which is completely stupid, because I know you and James are just friends—and barely even that, right?" he said with a grin.

I wouldn't say 'barely', I thought defensively, not really sure why this annoyed me so much. But I'd had enough arguments for the day, so all I said was, "You're right—that was stupid." A.J. winced. "But I suppose I can forgive you," I added with a slight smile. Okay, I know, so much for not forgiving him easily—I guess I'd used up all my anger for the day. And as A.J. smiled back and leaned in to kiss me, I thought, It's hardly worth staying angry anyway. Really just a waste of time, time that can be spent doing . . . other things.

It may or may not have taken us nearly half an hour to make it back to the common room, and I suppose that, by rights, I should have given myself detention. But what was the point of having power if you weren't going to abuse it, right? Merlin, James really is starting to rub off on me, I thought, a little surprised at myself but not horrified with the discovery as I would have been a few months ago.

I had one more apology to make, and was glad to find Mary still awake when I walked into our dormitory. "Okay, you know how I hate apologies, so can we just hug and call truce?" I asked without preamble.

Mary grinned, hopped off her bed, and hugged me tightly. "Everything good now? I mean, not just with us, but . . ."

"Yes, and thank God this day is finally over. And what smells so delicious?" I added, sniffing appreciatively.

"You'll want to be careful about sitting down on your bed," Mary said by way of answering, winking mysteriously.

"What?" I asked, frowning. Pulling back my bed hangings, I gasped. Spread out over my comforter was a literal feast. It looked like leftovers from dinner—pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans, an entire loaf of bread, a flagon of pumpkin juice, and several sweets, including treacle tart, which was my all-time favorite dessert. Under the pumpkin juice was a note, written in James's messy scrawl.

Lily,

I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got you a bit of everything—I can assure you that it's all delicious, because of course I had to sample it as well. If you don't finish it all (and since you're not Sirius, I'm assuming you won't—incidentally, if you do eat all of it, let me know, because I'll be quite impressed), you can just leave whatever you don't want outside your door and the house elves will pick it up again. Oh, and your bag's at the foot of your bed. As to how I got all this up here . . . well, I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Suffice it to say I didn't use Marlene this time.

See you at breakfast.

James

As I set down the note and started thankfully on the food, I couldn't for the life of me understand why the principal feeling I had was one of regret.

A/N: Everyone together now….AWWWWWW. Haha. Okay, so there's James's cute moment for the year…no, just kidding, he'll have more ;)

I realize I might have strayed a bit from the usual Remus-freaks-out-about-nearly-attacking-Lily thing, but I just didn't feel it for this story. I mean, I'm sure he freaked out right away, when James and co told him what happened, but I felt like he'd be more worried that Lily would hate him forever. And honestly, he's a pretty chill dude. I mean, even in PoA, we don't see him all self-hating about going all werewolf on Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Not that he doesn't recognize what COULD have happened, and that it would have been très bad. Anyway, just a little clarification for y'all.

Also, as a little bonus, here's A.J.:

./_ (okay, I don't think pasting the link in here is going to work, so just google image search Jesus Navas if you're actually curious...)

Okay, not really. He's a Spanish footballer (that's soccer, for all you crazy Americans…oh wait, that would include me….), and when I was watching the World Cup (not that I'm a football fan, per se, but I felt like, it's the World Cup, I should probably watch it…I can see all you true football fans shaking your heads in disappointment at my lackluster pride…), I saw him and was like, hello, you beautiful man. Anyway, when I was writing A.J., I knew I wanted him to have the whole dark hair/light eyes thing going on, and that picture popped into my head. So there you go.