A/N: To all my amazing reviewers—you're wonderful. Thanks to: HerHeadsInTheSky ('bout 3 or 4 chappies left), I'm A Cuckoo, Meeeee (wow, you reviewed THREE times this week—kudos), Pandasrule7, Zone Systems, iKKxLee52, marinewife08, blissedoutvixen, YAJJ, Elless, Menolly Harper, freefallingx19, emotionsonhold, Silver Scorpion, AliLuvsAlli-Sirius, j.k butler, Jenn222, Jmh, isigirl, lilyandjames53, jak23, kariTwilove, junebugbug96 (it was Jesus Navas), SeriouslySiriusBlack, Starr Cullen, starlight564, maximum destined potter, Swallow in the Cloud, existence555, Spicysweetchica101, RandomAsRainbows, .x, Tribot (haha, how random! And how do you know I don't know you…..**wiggles eyebrows**), marauders2116, Elizabeth Lullaby, Lucius Malloy, Westhaven18, Kimberly Hart D.B.W., viva gal, DarlingILoveYou, Miss larien, Cassie Cayne, PoseidonsLittleGirl, SucksRoyalHippogriff, Abi, nathymoonybr, silk399, WobblyJelly, xxjenlovexx, MissArtemisFowl, Marauder'sGirlCuzI'mUp2NoGood, Jill-Potter9, RavenSoulSister, seriouslyblak, GriffinRose, movinggirl, Ace-reporter, WhatTheDevilIsGoingOnHere (you win for my favorite review this week—I LOLed so much when I read it!), Nour, vampire5596, Tabbycat270, JanistheGiant, Evisawesome, theycallherkaush (even though I have a general preemptive apology below, an extra one to you….), ramitaarora, arelli-black, IIManzaII, merlincrazy, Theherbflower, hp loverr 101, MisszMarauder, inluvwitheverythingpotters, Bittersweet x (haha, no prob—I love long reviews! And A.J.'s full name is Angus Jennings McMillan, poor bloke), and xLycheeRAiN (I think you've been the first to review for like three weeks now…congrats!)

You know you've done an evil cliffhanger when your reviewers leave you death threats…. ;)

I would also like to take this moment to apologize in advance to many of you. I'm really, truly, very sorry….

(as if you need reminding)

When the sound of footsteps faded, I breathed a sigh of relief and James removed his hand from my mouth. "We really need to start setting a better example, as Head Boy and Girl," I joked, turning around. But anything else I might have said caught in my throat as I found James looking at me with the same intensity he had out on the grounds. I was suddenly aware that he was still holding my hand. My eyes flicked to his lips, which seemed unexpectedly close to mine. As I met his gaze again, I realized two things simultaneously:

James was going to kiss me. And I was going to let him.

Chapter 31: Wanted It To Be

James's face moved closer to mine, and I closed my eyes when it became too difficult to keep him in focus. I tried to remember our last kiss, wondering if his lips would feel familiar . . .

But I was left wondering, because James suddenly dropped my hand and moved away. My eyes flew open to find him already pushing through the tapestry. I followed hastily after him, my mind reeling from the shock of what had just happened. Or rather, almost happened. I couldn't think properly; my mind was full of the image of James leaning towards me, that unidentifiable look in his eyes. A look that had said he wanted to kiss me, or so I thought. But then why had he pulled away?

Still too mentally disoriented to actually articulate this question, I continued to trail James back to Gryffindor Tower. He didn't once look at me, and his quick strides almost suggested that he was trying to get away from me. But I kept pace with him through the Fat Lady's portrait, slowing as we reached the split to our respective dormitories. The few people still in the common room had looked up at our entrance, but all quickly returned to their homework or quiet conversations. At last, James turned to face me, but the look on his face, which could only be described as angry, froze my voice again. A second later, he turned and disappeared up the boys' staircase.

I stood staring after him, trying to make sense of his expression. Was he angry at me? I didn't see how that could be possible. So he was angry with himself? Because . . . because he hadn't wanted to kiss me, the logical part of my mind answered. And that hurt more than I could ever have imagined.

Whirling around, I ran up the stairs to my own dormitory, immensely glad, for the first time that year, that I no longer shared it with my year-mates. I didn't want to have to explain anything to them right now, not even to Mary.

Throwing my sodden cloak on the floor as I shut the door behind me, I stripped off the rest of my wet things in the bathroom and stepped into a hot shower, hoping the rhythmic pounding of the water would help calm my mind.

But my thoughts were too scattered to straighten out, and as the minutes passed, I kept returning to the same point that evening—with James about to kiss me, and my subsequent realization that I'd been wanting him to for a long time. How it was possible that I'd been so blind for so long, I had no idea.

It wasn't anger or disappointment I'd felt when I'd caught James kissing other girls this year, it was jealousy. I'd only mistaken the two because I was so used to being angry with James. It was a familiar and safe emotion where he was concerned, because even though we were friends, we were always going to argue. It was, strange as it may seem, simply part of how we related to each other.

"You're not one for arguing much, are you?"

Suddenly, the words I'd spoken to A.J. earlier that night came back to me, and a new wave of panic broke over me. What was I going to do about A.J.? I'd almost kissed someone else tonight, and not once had my boyfriend entered my mind. Shoving that question away for now—one thing at a time, Lily—I focused on my original train of thought.

"Do you want me to mistrust you all the time? And fight with you more?"

Did I? No, of course not—who would want that? And yet . . .

"Good thing we'll never have to worry about that."

There was something about James's blunt honesty, and the way he always called me out when I was lying, and how he didn't just let things slide . . . it was something A.J. would never do. So, I fancy James because he fights with me? How masochistic is that?

Setting my own twisted and nonsensical feelings aside for the moment, I turned to the more pressing and potentially painful issue of James's. There were moments from the past few months that suggested he might feel something more than friendship towards me—the most prominent being his irritation with A.J. and the roses on our anniversary—but they were significantly overshadowed by all the evidence that suggested otherwise.

"I already knew you'd rather tie a large rock to your foot and jump into the ocean than kiss me."

"I . . . er, sort of let her believe that, because I didn't want her to know it was actually because I was just sick of dating her and welcomed the chance to end it"

"I think a bloke deserves to know if his girlfriend's in love with him."

"I doubt you two will break up over it—he really likes you, after all . . . Why do you think I introduced you in the first place?"

And that was the most devastating and inarguable blow—he was the one who'd set me up with A.J. No one in his right mind, and especially not James, would consent to set up the girl he fancied with another bloke. Still, other memories forced their way forward.

"You're not a coward, Lily."

"Because I'm in Gryffindor, right?"

"No, because you're you."

"You're bloody amazing, you know that?"

"Shh—it'll be our l'il secret."

Maybe James was a masochist, too.

OOOOOOOO

By the time I stepped out of the shower, my hands so wrinkled from the prolonged exposure to water that they looked like an old woman's, I'd resolved to talk to James. Right then. Because I wouldn't be able to sleep until I had answers. Well, I might not be able to sleep once I did have them, either, but at least I'd know. Once and for all, I'd know where James and I stood.

I didn't care that it was nearly midnight, and that James might be asleep. I'd pound on his door until I woke him up if I had to. The thing that did bother me was that I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say to him. 'Hey, James, just thought you should know that I wish you hadn't pulled back from kissing me earlier—in fact, I'd really like to snog you within an inch of your life.' Yeah, that would go well. Maybe I shouldn't say anything, but just jump him the minute he opens the door and see how he reacts.

By this time I'd climbed the first set of boys' staircases, passing the hallways to the first and second year dormitories. And what if he's still angry? I suppose it could be a starting point, to ask him to explain that. Knowing James, anger might just make everything else come out as well, and then I wouldn't have to do anything but stand there and listen. I snorted as I reached the last set of stairs up to the Head dormitory; I had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy.

Before I could lose my determination, I marched straight up to James's door and knocked firmly three times. After waiting a minute with no answer, I raised my fist to knock again.

"Lily?" a confused and familiar voice called out from below me. I whipped around, my fist still raised stupidly in the air.

"A.J.," I said in surprise, quickly dropping my hand and trying to force back the explosion of emotions (mostly in the anxiety, guilt, and I'm-a-horrible-person realm) elicited by the sight of him. "Er . . ." I started, no ready-made and plausible excuse coming to mind to explain my presence outside James's room in the middle of the night.

"Lily?" came a different voice from behind me, causing an entirely new wave of emotions to roll through me. I think I'm going to have a heart attack before this night is over, I thought resentfully, turning to find James pulling on a shirt over shower-wet hair. Well, that explains why he took so long to answer the door—he had to . . . put on clothes. Abruptly turning bright red, I shifted my gaze back to A.J.

"What are you doing here so late?" he asked, though he merely sounded curious, not accusatory.

"I . . . um, well," I began, "I was—" about to snog the pants off James. I mean, what was I doing? I shouldn't be talking to James right now! How could I have even considered trying to figure things out with him before I'd said anything to A.J.? Merlin, I really was an awful girlfriend. "I was just coming to get the Transfiguration book James borrowed from me." I heard James snort quietly and tried not to wince. "You know, since you and I are going to Hogsmeade tomorrow, I just thought I should get it before I . . . forgot." Well, that's probably the most pathetic lie I've ever told. Or it ranks right up there, at least.

I jumped as a door slammed behind me, glancing over my shoulder to see that James had disappeared back into his room. And it was clear that he was angry. Again. But this time I was fairly certain it was directed at me.

Looking back at A.J., I could tell he didn't believe the story I'd just fed him about my Transfiguration book—James's reaction didn't exactly help, either. But he didn't say anything at first, just looked at me, an oddly sad expression in his eyes. "Well, if that's—" he started finally, but was interrupted by James's door opening again.

Wordlessly, and with a completely blank expression, James held out his Transfiguration book to me. A sudden knot forming in the pit of my stomach, I took it with a quiet, ashamed murmur of thanks. James nodded mutely, and, still not betraying a hint of what he might be thinking at that moment, shut himself in his room again. I retraced my steps down the stairs, stopping beside A.J.

Seeming to decide against whatever he'd been about to say, he said, "So, I'll meet you at eleven tomorrow morning, then?"

"Yes, eleven," I agreed quickly, and he too moved to return to his dormitory.

When I got back to my room, I set James's book on my desk, hung the still soaking borrowed cloak in the bathroom to dry, and fell onto my bed, my mind finally exhausted beyond thought.

OOOOOOOO

I somehow managed to sleep late the next morning, but when I woke up, it was with the absolute knowledge that today was going to be awful. Dragging myself out of bed, I threw on the nearest clean clothes I could find and hurried down to the Great Hall. I didn't run into James, for which I was supremely relieved, but I didn't see Mary either, and I was in desperate need of her advice.

However, as a person who could keep me calm when I felt I was about to fly apart at the seams, Remus was a close second. So, when I saw him sitting alone at the Gryffindor table, I immediately moved to sit across from him.

"Morning, Lily," he greeted me with a smile, looking a little tired, but otherwise relatively normal considering last night had been a full moon.

"Remus, I am a bloody coward," I announced.

He raised his eyebrows slightly. "That so? Sorry to hear it."

I smiled despite myself. "Right—I just had to tell someone that. Anyway, how're you?"

"Better than you, I'm assuming," he replied, now frowning a bit. "Anything else you, er, 'need to tell someone'? Because I feel like I owe you."

It was my turn to frown. "Er, for what?"

"I'm meeting Carin in Hogsmeade today," he said with an embarrassed sort of grin.

Momentarily thrown, it was a minute before his words penetrated my currently self-absorbed brain. When they did, I grinned back at him. "Seriously? Merlin, Remus, you have no idea how happy that makes me. Especially today."

"Yes, I'm beginning to get that . . . er, are you sure you're okay?"

"Oh, I'm most definitely not okay, but . . . well, it'll be . . . fine. You know, probably. I mean, it might take a few centuries, but I'll be back to normal eventually."

Remus didn't seem to know whether to laugh or look concerned.

Before he could do either, I added quickly, "So, where are your usual partners in crime? Or are you avoiding them because they're still taking the mickey out of you about the Carin situation?"

"Sirius considers it a crime to get up before ten on a Saturday, Peter is holed up in the library today because he's put off his Charms homework for about a week, and James isn't meeting Audrey until noon. Though they are still taking the mickey out, as well—but I suppose it's their right, as mates."

I barely heard his last sentence, caught up as I was with the one preceding it. "James is . . . what?" I asked weakly.

"He's going to Hogsmeade with Audrey . . . well, I can't remember her last name, but she's in Ravenclaw, and—"

"No, I know who she is," I said, a little harshly. Remus raised his eyebrows, and seemed about to ask me something, but was interrupted by A.J.'s arrival.

"Morning, you two," he said, leaning in to kiss me—our fight last night and awkward meeting in the dormitory later evidently forgotten.

Merlin, the guilt is going to kill me today, I thought as I tried to smile normally at him in greeting.

I somehow survived the small talk that followed, even though it was not distracting enough at all for my current mental state. But then A.J. and I encountered James on our way out of the Hall, and I nearly lost it again. At least he no longer looked angry—though I could only handle meeting his eyes for about two seconds, so I couldn't be completely sure.

"Hey Potter," A.J. greeted him, and I might have been imagining it, but he sounded almost defensive.

"Rookie," James replied. "Lily," he added quietly, and I forced myself to look at him again, though I could only nod back (like a complete dolt) because I didn't trust my voice—I wasn't sure whether I would start screaming at him or sobbing if I opened my mouth, and I really didn't want to do either. Instead, I turned away before James could say anything else and let A.J. lead me to the oak front doors.

OOOOOOOO

If someone asked me to repeat A.J.'s and my conversation during our walk to the village, I wouldn't have been able to reproduce even one word. Honestly, it was a wonder I was able to keep up my side of it. We walked aimlessly around the village for a while, and by the time we stopped in the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"A.J., I have to talk to you," I said, my voice trembling slightly.

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you think you've been doing for the past hour?"

Of course he'd pick now to be uncharacteristically unperceptive. Taking a deep breath, I continued, "No, I mean I have to tell you something . . . something serious."

Looking appropriately curious and a little concerned now, A.J. said, "What is it?"

I glanced up at the happily chattering crowd around us, suddenly envious of everyone who was having a perfectly normal Saturday, free from emotional trauma. Well, all right, 'emotional trauma' was a bit dramatic but—

"Lily?" A.J. prompted, and I realized I'd been lost in my thoughts and hadn't answered his original question.

"Sorry," I said, shaking myself slightly. "Er, but we might . . . want to go somewhere else?"

"Why?" A.J. asked, shrugging. "No one's paying attention to us—they won't overhear whatever it is you've got to say."

The change of location isn't really for my sake, I thought irritably, but . . . well, if he wants to do it here, so be it. I knew this wasn't entirely fair, since A.J. had no idea what was coming, but I couldn't stand keeping it from him anymore. "James almost kissed me last night," I blurted out, surprising myself with how blunt I sounded.

A.J. just stared at me for a moment. Then, his expression hardening as he began to rise from his seat, he said, "I'll kill him."

"No, wait!" I said hurriedly, grabbing his sleeve in an attempt to stay his unexpected hostility. Slowly, A.J. responded to the pressure and sank back down, still with an angry look in his eyes. "It's not—that is, James was—" I stopped, knowing that what I was about to say would break his heart. And for a moment, I didn't think I could do that to him. But I had to say it. "He was the one who pulled away first."

A.J. seemed shocked into silence once more, the anger in his eyes quickly turning to puzzlement. Not wanting to see the look in them when he figured it out, I looked down at my hands, which were clenched tightly on top of the wooden table.

"Oh," A.J. finally said quietly. "So you—that's why you were . . . you're breaking up with me." It wasn't a question.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I know it's completely unfair, and awful, and terrible timing, and I—"

"Please, don't apologize," A.J. said, his voice hard again.

Meeting his eyes at last, I felt another stab of guilt at the pain there. "Sorry," I repeated without thinking, then winced. "I mean—I just . . . I don't know what to say, A.J., and I know you'll probably hate me forever—"

"I don't hate you," he cut in. "I could never hate you, Lily."

God, he really is too nice. "Well, that makes one of us," I muttered. "Look, if you want to yell and scream at me, I'll understand—we can go outside, or you could do it here, cause a big, dramatic scene and completely embarrass me, because Merlin knows I deserve it . . . or, you know, you could just send me a Howler," I finished.

At that, A.J. smiled, though it didn't quite banish the sadness in his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind." We were quiet for a few minutes, and then A.J. added awkwardly, "I, er, sort of promised a mate I'd bring him back some Honeydukes chocolate, since he's swamped with homework today, so . . . I should probably go and, er, do that."

"Right," I said, too quickly. "Yeah, good, that's—don't let me keep you," I babbled, grimacing at my run-away mouth.

A.J. smiled wryly. "I wasn't under the impression that you were," he said, and then he was walking towards the door, leaving me cursing my idiocy.

"Well, I probably couldn't have done a worse job of that," I said softly to myself, and without warning, tears sprang to my eyes and began to fall down my cheeks. I let them come, ducking my head slightly but otherwise making no attempts to hide the fact that I was openly crying in a very public place. I was really beyond caring at that point. It must not have been too obvious, however, because Sirius didn't notice until he was practically sitting in my booth.

"Evans!" I heard him call from somewhere in the middle of the pub, but I didn't look up. "What are you doing here all by your lonesome? I thought y—Lily, are you all right?" he asked, a worried note leaping into his teasing tone as he slid onto the bench across from me.

"Do I look all right?" I asked, trying to sound cross, but my voice was shaking too much to convey it.

"No," Sirius answered. "Although, tears do make the green in your eyes rather striking, and I think that with a little work, you could really pull off the red nose look."

I let out a watery laugh, trying to stem the flow of tears with my sleeve. Sirius offered me a napkin from the stack on the table, and I gathered myself together enough to shoot him an affronted look. "What, no handkerchief for your damsel in distress?"

Sirius grinned. "Well, first of all, you're not my damsel in distress, love, and second, I'd look a right prat carrying a handkerchief around."

"All right, fair enough," I said, blowing my nose loudly into the napkin.

"Attractive," Sirius observed, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, shut it," I said, lobbing the napkin at his head, though he managed to dodge it. "You're supposed to be listening to my tales of woe and offering your sympathetic support, not mocking me."

"Tales of woe, is it? Bloody hell, that sounds serious."

I glared at him. "If you're going to be horrible, you can bloody well just le—"

"Okay, okay, I'll be good. I promise. So, what woes have befallen you, my lady?"

I fought a smile without success. But as I spoke, it quickly faded again. "A.J. and I broke up."

No longer grinning, Sirius jerked his head at the door to the Three Broomsticks. "Want me to find him and give him a swift kick up the—"

"No," I interrupted hastily. "I broke up with him."

"I see," Sirius said, frowning. "Er, why? Not that I don't support it, or anything; all relationships are rubbish anyway—"

"Sirius," I said warningly.

"Right, I'm being insensitive again, sorry. So, what happened?"

"I—well, essentially, I'm a terrible person."

"I find that extremely hard to believe."

I smiled at him. "Well, thanks, but it's true."

"Well, in my experience with these things—not personal experience, mind you—I'm sure A.J. isn't completely blameless."

"Oh no, he is," I said bitterly. "He didn't even get mad. I mean, he was actually understanding! As I was breaking up with him, he just sat there, all 'I could never hate you, Lily' . . . What kind of person is so infallibly nice when they're getting kicked to the curb? The only time he actually showed any sort of proper anger was when I told him—" I stopped abruptly before I could accidentally share the part about James's and my almost kiss.

"When you told him what?" Sirius prompted.

"Nothing. It's . . . not important."

To my relief, Sirius just shrugged. "All right," he said easily. More solemnly, he added, "But you're not a terrible person, Lily. Trust me on that one—you're a far cry from all of the actually horrible people in the world, with their stupid prejudices, and ridiculous ideas about the world . . . the ones who'd just, for no reason . . ." he trailed off, his voice suddenly hard.

I frowned. "What do you—is everything okay, Sirius?"

Sirius blinked at me, as though he'd forgotten who he was talking to. With obvious effort, he hitched his usual grin back into place. "'Course."

"You're lying," I informed him.

"I never lie—Marauder's honor," he said, crossing his fist over his chest.

I rolled my eyes. "If something's got you put out, it must be bad."

Face abruptly hardening again, Sirius asked, "You didn't happen to see the Daily Prophet yesterday, did you?"

No, I was a bit preoccupied realizing I had to break up with my boyfriend because I'd been a blind idiot for months. Aloud, I asked apprehensively, "What, not more of that Raider business, is it?"

"No, not Raiders," Sirius said, and I was suddenly afraid to hear the real answer. "It was—there were some more—" he stopped, a fury I'd never seen before burning in his eyes. I forced myself not to look away. "My brother," he began again abruptly, "you know, Regulus—" I nodded, recalling with ease the ruthless yet handsome face of the younger Black—"he's wanted for torturing five Muggles in Manchester."

My heart thudded in my chest at the horror of such a statement. For a moment, I didn't know what to say. Once again, my self-imposed ignorance of the current state of the world proved regrettable, as this news completely threw me. My first thought was to ask if anyone else had been involved, as my mind immediately flew to Sev, but I felt that wasn't quite the right thing to do, considering the situation and the person I was speaking to. "I—Sirius, I'm . . . sorry," I finally said, knowing how lame it sounded but unable to think of anything else to offer.

He shrugged moodily. "It's just . . . I know it's stupid, but I think that maybe . . . maybe I should have . . . done something." He snorted, as if at the idiocy of his words.

"When your brother was still at school, you mean?"

Sirius nodded. "Maybe I could have—" but he cut himself off with a shake of his head.

"Saved him?" I asked solemnly.

Sirius looked at me in surprise, as though he'd expected me to scoff at the idea. "Yeah."

I sighed. "It doesn't work that way. Sometimes . . . you just can't."

We were silent for a moment, and I knew Sirius realized I wasn't just talking about Regulus anymore.

"Well, Mum and Dad will be proud, at least," Sirius went on bitterly. "Carrying on the family legacy, and all that . . ."

And I finally, belatedly, realized what was really eating at him about the whole thing. "You're not like them, Sirius," I said firmly.

He looked at me, but didn't say anything.

"You're not," I insisted. "You'd never even think about doing something like . . . like that."

"But I might have done," he replied. "If I hadn't been in Gryffindor, if I'd been in Slytherin like everyone else—"

"But you weren't," I cut in, though Sirius didn't appear to hear me.

"I grew up with all that pureblood mania," he continued, "except it wasn't mania, not to my parents. If I hadn't been influenced by the few sane members of my extended family, hadn't realized that the rest of them were fucking insane . . ." he trailed off; there was no need to explain what he was implying.

"Sirius Orion Black," I said adamantly, causing Sirius to raise his eyebrows, "first, yes I do know your middle name—you can thank Remus for that—and second, you're being completely and unacceptably daft about this whole thing. You're an illegally unregistered Animagus, which was a dangerous thing to attempt in itself, but you did it so you could undertake the even more dangerous task of helping your mate deal with his werewolf . . . issues. Do you think anyone in your family would've even been friends with him in the first place? And you're sitting here now, talking to me; none of the Slytherins would be caught dead doing that. And even though I'm emotionally distraught and mentally unstable and all you've done is tease me . . . well, that's just sort of how you are, so it doesn't—"

Sirius was laughing now. I grinned back at him, feeling a bit better myself, though I felt guilty that it had come at Sirius's expense. "Lily, you're a fantastic mate, have I ever told you that?"

"No," I said. "And it is nice to know I'm actually appreciated, after suffering through the terrible effort it takes to be mates with you—"

Sirius laughed again, before fixing me with a considering look. "I can see why . . ."

"Why what?"

He shook his head. "Well, anyway—thanks."

"Anytime. And it really isn't that bad, being mates with you, at least on days when we don't actually have to interact," I teased. But Sirius wasn't paying attention to me; his gaze was fixed at a point over my shoulder, and he was grinning. I turned around and my stomach and heart lurched in unison at the sight of James and Audrey entering the Three Broomsticks, hand in hand.

Turning quickly back to Sirius, I said hurriedly, "Sirius, I know it won't make sense, but please, please don't—"

"Hey Prongs!" he yelled, waving to get James's attention.

"—call them over," I finished resentfully.

"What was that, Lily?" Sirius asked, finally turning to me. I just glared at him. "What?" he repeated as he moved to sit beside me, presumably to allow James and Audrey to occupy the same side of the booth. Which they did momentarily, only leaving me time to shoot another glare at Sirius before steeling myself to face James.

A/N: Okay, okay, I know I promised drunk!Lily in this chapter, but I originally had the Sirius/Lily/Regulus conversation planned for later, but then I changed things a bit and it didn't fit where I had it anymore, so I put it in this chapter instead, and drunk!Lily got cut. BUT, even if you didn't follow that rambling explanation, the point is she will DEFINITELY be in the next chapter (drunk!Lily, that is, not Lily in general, b/c obviously she'll be in the next chapter).

And yes, James is being an idiot. That will be (partially) explained in the next chapter as well.

But ding, dong, A.J. is gone! Hurrahs forever and all that ;)

Oh, and one final thing (because I know this is something I would care about)—below are the chapters/context of Lily's little flashback montage (btdubs it took me FOREVER to find all these quotes the first time!):

"You're not one for arguing much, are you?"

"Do you want me to mistrust you all the time? And fight with you more?"—both from A.J. and Lily's fight last chapter

"Good thing we'll never have to worry about that."—James to Lily last chapter when they were out on the grounds

"I already knew you'd rather tie a large rock to your foot and jump into the ocean than kiss me."—James to Lily, from their bonding convo post the Chloe break-up on New Year's (Ch. 12—note: these are my chapter numbers, not the ffnet ones, which are one ahead b/c of the prologue)

"I . . . er, sort of let her believe that, because I didn't want her to know it was actually because I was just sick of dating her and welcomed the chance to end it"—James, when he and Lily are discussing his alleged 'feelings' for her (brought up by Chloe) after Lily's sobered up at his b-day party (Ch. 20)

"I think a bloke deserves to know if his girlfriend's in love with him."—James to Lily (well obviously, pretty much all of these are) after she tells him she loves A.J. (Ch. 27)

"I doubt you two will break up over it—he really likes you, after all . . . Why do you think I introduced you in the first place?"—James, after Lily and A.J.'s first fight (Ch. 18)

"You're not a coward, Lily."

"Because I'm in Gryffindor, right?"

"No, because you're you." ?"—from Lily and James's bonding sesh after they've gotten drinks for the Quidditch party (Ch. 28)

"You're bloody amazing, you know that?"—James to Lily after their fight the night of the Quidditch party (Ch. 29)

"Shh—it'll be our l'il secret."—James post drunken kiss (Ch. 23)