A/N: Nothing really to say here except Gilligan's Island is hilarious.

Disclaimer: Don't own.

Chapter Two

Sending out a search party was definitely the first thing on his list, and Mr. Moseby always did his to do list in order. That was why he was not only calling the Coast Guard - he was also giving Mr. Tipton a ring, just in case.

But after he finished making all his phone calls he paced one of the many decks, wondering what else he could do to help. There was nothing he could think of. So he continued to pace, thinking about all he'd done, hoping that the kids would be rescued. He didn't hate the Martins - not really. Well, he did dislike them quite a bit, but he wasn't entirely capable of despising them so much he wished them dead. Perhaps he had thought that once or twice, but he'd never really meant it. And now he wondered if he'd subconsciously wished that at some point and now it was coming true.

He hadn't liked that Bailey Pickett either. All she did was whine about herself. Me this, me that, Kettlecorn this, Kettlecorn that, Moose this, Moose that! Moseby shook himself, trying to figure out what else to do other than hate on the kids in his head. Maybe he could ask the captain to steer toward the nearest civilization, then make another couple of calls, tell Mr. Tipton and the Coast Guard that they were making for land.

Moseby thought that was a good idea indeed, so he went about it. The kids were going to be just fine - just as annoying as ever - when they returned; after all, what sort of trouble could they get themselves into, anyway? It wasn't like they'd need medical treatment when they returned.

This was definitely one of the strangest days he'd ever been through. In fact, it was one of his first days at this new work. His third day, actually, which was really pathetic if he stopped to think about it.

Billy adjusted his headphones, watching out below for any sign of land or boat. He wasn't sure if those missing kids would be on land by now or still in the ship - or at the bottom of the ocean. Billy sighed. He used to want to be a parent, but then he realized how much that entailed, and he went for saving lives instead.

He watched fervently, waiting for any sign of anything. Who knew what crazy kind of trouble these kids could get themselves into? Sharks, jellyfish, the ocean in general, bugs, poisonous plants - any kid could fall for anything like that. Oh, look, dolphins! Billy could almost hear them saying. That's just like the little fishy guy from Finding Nemo! Yay, a mint with legs! That looks just like yummy berries from Gilligan's Island!

Billy blinked, trying to shove out all the thoughts. Yeah, those kids didn't have much of a chance, especially if they came across anything like those sharks or plants. None of them were likely to have any idea what to do about anything like that if it ever came along. If something happened they'd probably die.

Stop it, Billy told himself sternly. We'll find them. We will find them. He hadn't lost a life yet (so what if this was his third day?) and he wasn't planning on starting anytime soon.

He was standing in a courtroom. Bailey was a witness - she was on his side. London was another witness - she was on the other side. Mr. Moseby was the judge. His mom was watching from the stands. Cody was the lawyer fighting for the other side. But who was the lawyer fighting for his side? Oh - that must have been Woody, who was standing there awkwardly, looking like he didn't know what to do with himself.

"You murdered, Dr. Jekyll," Cody boomed, pointing at him.

"No I didn't," Zack answered. Apparently he was Dr. Jekyll. He wondered vaguely for a second who was Mr. Hyde.

"Yes, you did. I have a witness here -"

"I have a witness as well!" Zack interrupted. "She'll tell you all about how great I am!" He stepped out of the way and Bailey started to talk, with a massive Kettlecorn accent.

"He made me a right lady, he did," Bailey proclaimed. The line tugged at the back of Zack's mind but he ignored the sense of déjà vu. He'd never been in a courtroom before. "I'm all prettied up now, I am. I be a good speaker. He even gave me flowers!"

"Flowers," Zack echoed blithely. "I even gave her flowers!"

"But my witness," yelled Cody, "says something else! What do you have to say to us today, London?"

London grinned. "Well, the transformation happens when you say something about food to him. Roast pork. Turkey. Pudding. Yew. Stuffing at Thanksgiving dinner. Chicken. Ham. Pot roast. Pork chops. Chicken dumplings a la creme. Holly. Strawberry CHEESECAKE!"

With every word Zack's stomach began to ache - it was stinging, bursting, exploding inside him, doing all sorts of strange things just to cause him pain - then he was writhing on the floor and Bailey was asking him if he was okay, and Cody was laughing maniacally shouting about how this was payback for all the crappy things Zack had done to him, and Mr. Moseby was ordering him to be hung, and a painting of Marie Antoinette was sitting in the corner all alone with a droplet of paint sliding down the edge of the frame turning her smile into a frown, and someone was screaming, and his head was about to implode, and Woody was punching him and kicking him for all the mean things he'd ever said, and he was getting obedience beat into him, and it just wouldn't END -

And he'd never wanted to die more.

Then he was sitting in the living room at their old suite watching TV. Gilligan's Island was on. It was the episode where Gilligan thought he was Mr. Hyde. Ginger yelled things about food and Gilligan transformed into Mr. Hyde whenever food was mentioned. Strawberry cheesecake was the last straw for him. It had been the last straw for Zack, too.

He reached into a big glass bowl beside him and grabbed a handful of the food there, and he popped it into his mouth and crunched, expecting popcorn, but when the popcorn entered his mouth it transformed into something more gooey and fleshy with a small round hard inside, and he kept eating more and more berries until he was fit to burst, and then he was thrashing on the floor again, except Esteban ran in to laugh at him and Maddie stood by watching him die with a smirk on her face, and there was Cody again, laughing maniacally shouting about how this was payback for all the crappy things Zack had done to him.

And he wanted to die even more.

Sequence after sequence of death, repeating food, unable to stop eating the stupid berries, unable to escape this horror ride, unable to wake from this terrifying nightmare.

And he needed death.

He wanted it.