Disclaimer: I own nothing at all except the fan made characters I create and nothing else at all. All copy rights go back to the original creators of Naruto. That is all.
Update! Sorry about waiting for so long post this chapter! I've been writing a lot and well here it is I guess. Sorry if it's short I just kinda wrote it so yea...I'll stop rambling. Please Review and share your thoughts with me, I'd love to hear them! ^^
Stage 9: Here Comes Goodbye
Slowly I was able to regain consciousness. A bright light blinded me, causing me to shield my eyes until they adjusted to the light. Voices were around me but I wasn't able to make out quite clearly what they were saying. "Tsu-sama!" My eyes slowly adjusted to the light and scenery around me. Everything was a blur but soon it was all clear. Well, at least my vision was. "How are you feeling Tsu-sama?" I began looking around the room in a daze. The only person in the room, aside from me, was Elfi. I gazed at her, my eyes glazed over with apathy."Tsu-sama?" Elfi questioned softly with her eyes asking me if I was alright with deep concern.
Then I was finally able to remember."Ha..Haku."
Elfi flinched. She struggled to keep cheerful appearance. "What about him?" She tried to ask in cool but peppy voice. I sensed her forcing to be happy.
'Was she trying to be happy because of me?'My gazed shifted towards the ceiling. "It wasn't a dream, was it?" Silence answered my question. "It was all real... Haku's really not coming back, is he?" Again silence answered what I had hoped to be a lie, to be a bad dream. I wasn't able to hold it in any longer. Grief and sorrow flooded throughout every inch of my body, from the tip of my eye lashes down to my smallest fibers in my toe nails. I silently began to cry, staring out the window at the clouds, watching them all float away from me. Just like Haku had. He had slipped through my , I couldn't bring myself to blame Elfi for Haku's death. 'The only one I can blame is myself. I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most. And for that costly mistake, because I made one too many mistakes, this was the final price I paid. Losing him, forever.' I began to sob uncontrollably and my breathing became irregular. Though I could feel myself panting, I wasn't exactly able to hear myself sob. I became numb. 'Again I hear nothing but the silence...'
Suddenly, the sound of Elfi's soft yet rough voice brought my senses back to me. "He may be gone Tsu-sama," Elfi began. "But he'll always be alive right here," Elfi told me as she pointed to my heart. I watched her hand closely. "He will always be near and with you as long as you keep his memories alive." Elfi uttered. Quickly I glanced up at her only to see her face in pain but somehow she was able to show me a sympathetic smile at the end of her philosophy. Tears came faster and raced harder down my cheek. "But Tsu-sama," My gaze shifted towards her eyes, locked onto them. Desperate for her to say anything to break the endless silence I was so accustomed to hearing. Say something that might help sooth my grief. As our eyes made contact I could feel Elfi's sorrow and grief. She was actually starting to cry. But was it because she was upset about Haku like I was or was it because I was crying? I was hurt. Yet her smile never faded from her face, in fact it began to grow with her eyes forming into what appeared to be a smile as well. "You'll always have me here with you from now on!" Elfi promised through her tears with a childish giggle.
At that moment, I don't know what really happened. My body shot straight up and lunged at Elfi. My arms automatically wrapped around her neck for support as I cried on her shoulder and let out all of my emotions. My tears seem to be uncontrollable as I cried for what seemed to be forever. Elfi responded to my action by wrapping her arms around me in a tight embrace as she silently cried along with me. She tried to calm me down by stroking my back and telling me about how things were only going to get better but I could hardly hear what she was trying to tell me. My sobs were so loud I could only hear bits and pieces of her muffled voice. However, I was able to feel her stroking my back, doing her best to comfort me in any way that she could. I silently thanked my lucky stars that I had a person in my life like Elfi. Without her, who knows what would have happened if Haku had died and I was all alone. Somehow, this began to trigger something else in my head. Alone. Loneliness. Solitude. Something was familiar about those feelings but I just wasn't able to remember them at that moment. I wasn't able to really think about anything but my own sorrow.
"Ahem." Suddenly I tore myself away from Elfi as if trying to hide the fact that I was trying to let someone help me. As if I was committing a crime by showing my emotions. Elfi smiled and wiped her tears from her face. Mine remained. Somehow they always seemed to remain. "Sorry we didn't mean to um, interrupt anything," Kakashi replied laughed. "Well you didn't really interrupt anything we were just about done here anyways right Tsu-sama?""Right," I replied softly as I wiped my tears from my face. I knew no matter how many times I tried to wipe my tears away, there would always be a permanent trail burned into my skin, leaving a reminder for three leaf genin entered silently entered the room and stood behind Kakashi. I glanced at them. I didn't see hatred in their eyes but remorse. What could they be so upset about? It seemed pretty strange to me that all of them, even the loud-mouthed Naruto, were all silent.
"What do you need Kakashi-sensi?" Elfi questioned, breaking the silence like she always did. Suddenly I could feel the unease and tension that filled the atmosphere. It was so thick someone could have easily cut the air with a kunai and still the tension and unease would spoke first, knowing that his genins were still uneasy about everything.
"We buried Haku and Zabuza so our business here is done."
"You did what?" I gasped, trying to catch my breath. All eyes locked on me that moment. I stared at Kakashi as if trying to convince myself that I didn't hear what he had just told me. It couldn't be true. "You did what?" I repeated.
"Refi, you've been out for about 3 days now we had no choice but to bury them, their bodies were already decomposing." Kakashi tried to explain.
"You had no right in doing that!" I exploded, my body trembling with sudden rage. "You are the ones who murdered them, what gives you any right to kill the people that I love and then go and do something like this? You should have just left I would have done it myself!"
"Just shut up you." Naruto began in a venomous tone. "We had no right in doing it you say? We are murderers you say? What makes you any different from us! You're a ninja too and you've slain your fair share of people! Innocent people who had lives ahead of them like Haku did!"
"Don't you dare bring that up! You don't know me!"
"I may not know you but I understand!" Naruto's tone dropped to a dark sorrow filled tone. "Haku was an innocent soul. If he had never met Zabuza maybe he'd be alive but maybe he wouldn't. And the same goes for you. The only reason why you stuck with Haku or Haku stuck with Zabuza is because of loneliness." My heart skipped a beat. "Zabuza was the only person that accepted Haku for who he was and didn't shun him like everyone else and then Haku showed you the same sympathy! You didn't want to be alone and neither did Haku. We had every right to bury them both! Even though they tried to kill us in the end they all were just poor souls who just wanted acceptance, who wanted to show the world of their existence, just like you. And me."
For once I looked into Naruto's eyes and I saw the same thing I always see in me. Desperation. Loneliness. Sorrow. But I saw something in him that I didn't see in myself, hope. Determination. Fire. Just like Elfi. In a way Naruto and Elfi were exactly the same. They were both so passionate and so dedicated to their dreams and their companions. I tore my eyes away from his and sighed, trying to understand their actions as they somehow understood mine.
"Would you like us to take you to Haku and Zabuza before we head back to the leaf?" Kakashi asked me.
"Yes I would like to see them."Through the whole time I was talking to the leaf shinobi I somehow managed to clutch onto Elfi's arm. I released my grasp on Elfi. I had broken through her skin. I looked up at her to see that she was still smiling even though I knew pretty well that she was in a lot of pain. I was very strong and at times I didn't realize what I could do with my strength. My hands moved swiftly."Prayer jutsu," I uttered. My chakara drew the water particles to my hand like metal to a magnet. The leaf shinobis gazed in awe as it appeared I had pulled out the water out of thin air. Enough water gathered around my hands to fix up Elfi's arm. I pulled my hand off her arm and held my hands over the bed, letting the water fall to the floor rather than getting us both soaked.
"Thanks Tsu-sama it feels so much better now!" Elfi exclaimed, her eyes closing in an upward smile.
"Sorry about hurting you in the first place I never realized that I was even touching you."Elfi and I looked at each other for a long moment then she burst out with her heart warming laughter."What's so funny?" I demanded to know.
"Look at your face with your hair like that!" Elfi managed to tell me through her laughter. I picked up a table side mirror and looked at myself. I squealed and shot up from my bed and ran into the bathroom, trying to hide the way I looked. Elfi began rolling around laughing. Somehow, Naruto and Sakura couldn't help but join in on the laughter with Elfi. Kakashi chuckled taking out his Make out Paradise book and Sasuke smiled for change.
I had cleaned myself up I was able to check out of the hospital. Squad 7 led Elfi and I to Haku and Zabuza's grave. I stared at the little piles of dirt and the flowers placed around them with a rock in front of both piles of dirt, probably there as their tombstones. The only thing wrong with them was the fact the tombstones were blank. I realized was wrong to say they had no right to bury them. They had as much right to bury them as I did.
"Elfi, do you have a kunai knife on you?" I questioned."Yeah why?" Elfi asked pulling her kunai knife out of her pouch, handing it to me. I silently took it and after asking which one was Haku's and which was Zabuza's began carving into the stones. On each I inscribed their names, when they died and a little something about them. After I was done I dropped the kunai knife and just stared at the tombstone.
"Tsu-sama," Elfi uttered, kneeling down next to me hugging me close. I knew Elfi was trying to make me feel better but I still couldn't stop the tears from flowing. This was it. Haku and Zabuza were officially gone. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. Elfi had promise that she'd never leave me but I knew she was going to; after all she was a leaf shinobi. She had to return to the leaf or trackers would hunt her down and kill her.
"Let us have a moment of silence for Haku and Zabuza." Kakashi commanded. Everyone folded their hands together in and closed their eyes. Even Elfi did. I couldn't close my eyes. I just wanted to stare at the dirt, hoping to see Haku pop out of the dirt. The tears began burning my eyes, disabling me to blink. My eyes hurt but the pain wasn't as deep as the cut in my heart. It felt as if an old wound had been reopened and now nothing was stopping the blood from oozing out slowly, as if my life would drain away slowly and everything in reality seemed to stop. The leaves stop fluttering through the breeze and the birds remained stationary in the position they were in. There was no wind at all as well. Elfi's arms were like stones, both cold and hard. I tried to pull them off me but no matter how much I tried they stayed in place. I turned my head to see the leaf shinobis were all in the same position as I last saw them. No one but I was breathing.
'Quit your pitiful whining.' My body froze in place. 'I can't believe I'm stuck with such a weak, worthless host. You're a shinobi; we do not have emotions let alone show any of them at any time.'
'I am a shinobi yes. I have learned well the ways of the shinobi but if Haku had taught me one thing to always remember. Never let go of who you are. Even though I am a shinobi, I am human, I have a heart and I will not become the monster people will see me as because of my abilities.'
A dark chuckle rippled through my body, shaking it. 'Human you say you are? What an arrogant girl you are. Haku claimed that he was human as well yet look where that got him. If he would have just let Zabuza die, he could have lived to fight another day. He sacrificed himself for nothing because in the end they both died, leaving you in this state.' I gasped and held my breath. 'Sacrificing yourself isn't noble nor in it rewarding. You die in the place of another who will one day die eventually so in the end you died for nothing. You will soon come into the realization with this and what you truly are. But always remember this. You are a shinobi. Trust no one but yourself and live for yourself alone. One day you will learn the truth of what you really are but for now I'll leave you with the thought of being human.'
'Just who or what the hell are you to be telling me what I am and what I'm not? Who the hell are you to order me around like this? I am me and I will not take orders from the likes of someone who doesn't see the value in life other than the one you're living. You live a cold, sad life and I pity you. I don't care what you say, I have a heart and that's the thing that makes me human even if my appearance or my abilities may fool others but I have a heart and that's all that matters!'
'You really believe that do you? What a fool you are. You will learn the true nature of this world and we'll see if what you say is true. Know this. I am a part of you. You and I are linked forever and I will never vanish from existence. For now, you're in control of this body but once you're at your weakest I will take over and lock away this weaker half. I will become the strongest shinobi in history! Not even you or your precious heart can stop me. That will be your downfall. You're heart!'
Suddenly things began moving again. The birds fled from the trees, as if they had witnessed what had just happened. The wind began whipping me in the face and leaf shinobis opened their eyes. Reality seemed to be so much warmer than when it was stopped. It became hard for me to breathe. I began to fall over. Before I hit the ground, my hands broke my fall. Sweat dripped down my face and my breathing became irregular. 'What the hell was that?' I wondered.
"Refi what's wrong with you!" Elfi exclaimed, yanking me back to my knees. She spun my body around and forced me to look at her. Her eyes and hands were frantic as she took in my appearance. I snapped out of my daze and regained control of my composure.
"Nothing's wrong, nothing at all." Suddenly I felt myself smiling at Elfi. She looked pretty shocked, as if she didn't ever expect me to smile again. I could feel her relaxing a little bit. I gazed up at the leaf shinobis. They all too seemed very confused. I picked myself up out of the dirt and offered my hand out to Elfi. She took it and I helped her out of the dirt. I gazed out to the sunset. "The sun sets and the world becomes its darkest state," I began. "But in time the sun always rises again, the light will never vanish. Never." I declared as if convincing myself of the inevitable. I could feel the eyes of everyone around me. They were of confusion but I could not sense hatred or hostility in any of them, maybe they see me as a person now that I showed them I have a heart.