Loveless- Bitch gimmie that egg nog.
KInky- EGG NOG WHERE??
Loveless- In my shoe.
Riku and Sora- -Look up bright eyed- Did you say shoe? :O
Kinky- Better start before they eat our shoes .
Chapter 8---Tarzan.
((What the fuck is that?? It looks like a penis.. O.o))
Sora and the gang were eating gummy bears. Or.. What they thought were gummi bears. Turns out they were different colored baby seals. They were on the gummi ship.
"My gummi bear is purple." Donald said.
"Mine's blue, so it's better" Sora smirked.
"Hell naw fool. Purple it is." Donald argued.
"BLUE!"
"PURPLE"
"Baaaaalllllleeeeewww."
Just then the gummi ship crashed into a planet. Sora was thrown into a building.
"Is this a strip club?"
All of a sudden a tiger popped out and peed on Sora.
"That is NOT attractive." Then Sora began to strip.
"MMm... I like my victims naked." Said the tiger.
"FTW?? Your a tiger how can you talk?" Sora exclaimed.
"Dude.. At least I'm not a cricket."
"Dear God a talking Tiger!!" Sora passed out.
"Oh well, might as well eat him now." The tiger was about to take a bite out of him when a guy in a loincloth appeared and started beating it on the head with a brick.
"Bloody hell this is a most barbaric manner of taming a beast." Tarzan said.
The tiger ran away.. The brick was too strong.
Tarzan reached in his loincloth, just as Sora was waking up.
"W-What are you doing? I don't want to see.."
Tarzan took out the Ring girl.
"FTW? Are you serious?"
"I AM THE RING GIRL OF PONANIES NOW I MUST STEAL YOUR BOXERS." Said the ring girl as she stole Sora's underwear.
"WHY THE HELL IS THIS A THONG? DO I EVEN WANNA KNOW?" The Ring girl jumped back into Tarzan's loincloth.
"My secret bannana hammock fetish!! Nuuuuuu! Wait. I'm naked now. I KNEW THIS WAS A STRIP CLUB."
"I say good chap may I offer you a spot of tea?" Tarzan asked, pulling the naked Sora with him."
Meanwhile the tiger was watching them. "Mmmm.. Nakedness.. It'll soon be mine."
....
With Donald and Goofy.
"Dude did you know there's like totally a gummi block from the king?"Goofy said.
Then a weird guy came out of the bushes.
"Don't ask me what I was doing in those bushes.." He said.
"Umm.. What were you doing in those bushes?"
"I was doing a little .beep. with a pic of Dora the explorer .beeping. the .beep. out of .beep."
Goofy and Donald exchanged confused glances, Before turning around and throwing up on the man ."
"EWW I TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW! Anyways, I'm here to quote study end quote the gorrilas. STUDY." He did air quotes.
"Well ok. Studyings perfectly ok." Donald said.
"Uh.. Is it just me or were those air quotes a little too obvious?"
"Air quote? Where?" Donald said.
Goofy sighed.. Why was Donald an idiot?
.
With Tarzan and Sora
Tarzan jumped down and slid down a stripper pole. Or what Sora thought was a stripper pole until one of the branches hit him directly in the balls.
"MY Insides feel funny!! I think I killed my sperm." Sora cried.
Another branch hit him in his testicular area.
"AHHHHH!!! THERE'S A HOLE IN MY PENIS!!!!" Sora cried.
"Umm..theres supposed to be a hole..." Tarzan said.
"Is it supposed to gush blood?"
e.e "Umm.. Well...er.. Y-no."
"I knew I should of worn a condum!!"
O.o
They got to Jane's place. She was eating a cake.
"I'm trying to get cancer so I can have a canabus club card." She told them.
"Why would you want cancer for that??"
"Why would you not want cancer for that? Who are you anyway? My name's Jane annnnd like.. are you here to hunt the gorrilas?" She took out a gun and her face turned evil.
Then the man brought in Donald and Goofy.
"Omg I thought you guys left me at a strip club!!" He hugged them. "BLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE." He said to Donald.
"This still isn't resolved?" Goofy sighed.
"Who is that?"Sora asked about the man.
"He's Clayton.." They said.
Clayton picked up a book and began reading, soon he put the book down and went back to the bushes. Sora saw that it was a Blue's Clues book. O.o
"Well anyway, feel free to stay." Jane said, smirking at them.. But she was still holding a gun.
"Umm... That's ok.. But.."Goofy began
"I'M STAYING." Both Donald and Sora said.
"Whatever for?" Goofy asked.
"Because Its part of the game.. We have to be in this world and defeat the heartless Clayton."
"Clayton turns into a what?" Goofy asked.
"A heartless.." Sora said.
"Eh.. He seems way to preoccupied though... With his hand."
"Oh he will."
"So madam Jane will you show these three upstanding gentlemen a slide show to take up more time while Clayton's milking the cow..?" Tarzan asked, sipping tea.
"Sure." Jane put in the slides. On the screen came a picture of boobies.
"Oops.. Wrong slides.. Those are my Sex ED ones.." She put another up, this time it was a picture of a girl and a guy doing the unmentionable.
"Uh.. Damn.. That was my porn slide.. Here we go.." She put in another slide it had a picture of Naruto on it.
"Is this your friend?"
"Uh.. Noooo..."
Next slide was a pic of mansex.(Xemnas.)
"This?"
"Nu uh"
She put up a pic of a fat guy doing jumping jacks and his moobs (Man boobs) Were bouncing up and down in slow motion.
"OH GOD NO!!!"Sora threw up.
"Those are the only ones we've seen in this forest.." She said.
All of a sudden someone screamed "Believe it."
"Believe it? How corney is that?" Sora asked.
"Not corneyer then the end of Kingdom Hearts II." Naruto said.
"Point taken."
"The only place we havn't checked is the place where the gorrilas are.." Jane said.
Clayton came over.
"Don't ask me what I just did in that bush.." He said.
"What'd you-?"Sora began..
"DON'T ASK HIM~!!"Donald and Goofy yelled.
"Cheerio.. I'll take you to the fine upstanding gorrilas. But there manners really are notrousous." Tarzan said shaking his head. "Come along now fellas let's go."
"I'll go as an escort. I'd love to shoot.. I mean Stab... I mean blow up.. I mean.. STUDY quote quote gorillas." He smirked.
"That's fine I want to study them too" Sora agreed.
(Wow... Are these people really that stupid? Loveless- Yep.. Me- ...-.-)
They arrived at the gorrila's. Tarzan talked to them. "I say old chap.. these lil buggers need our support. Let me keep one as a pet..?"Tarzan asked.
"No.."Kercheck said.
"I beg your pardon?"
"NO." Then he left.
"Bloody hell he made me feel quite horrible.."
Meanwhile with Clayton.
Clayton held a gun and aimed it at a gorrila.. But then Donald came up.
"I thought you were studying them!!" he yelled, making him miss.
"Damn you.. This is a telescope can't you see? I was studying them."
"Oops sorry.." Donald said and left as he shot a gorrila dead and hauled the carcass away.
Later..
"You shot at a gorrila!! Your'e not allowed to go there anymore cause that's my job." Said Jane. She was wearing a black trench coat, camo pants, and giant millitary boots.
Clayton went outside. He was mad and I mean really mad. "I'll hunt down those f-ing Gorilla's eventually!... But first.."He disapered inside the bushes.
Soon everyone heard a gun shot. They ran outside and there were a bunch of heartless. Sora beat them on the head with his keyblade.. Even though they looked like monkeys.
Another gun shot... The three friends ran towords the gunshot and found a seaseme street and Barny playboy magazine... But no Clayton.
"I'M BACK!!" Came a voice. It was the tiger and it bit Sora's head off. Sora ran around without a head like a chicken. Tarzan pulled a guest star out of his loincloth. It was Brittney.
"POTATOES!!" She screamed at the tiger.
"I hate potatoes.." Said the tiger.
"OH NO YOU DIDNT DISS THE POTATOES! YOU ARE SO DEAD." She tackled it and they fought to the death, finally Brittney stood up, the victor. "Anyone else wanna diss the potatoes?"
Everyone shook their head... Scared out of their mind.
Meanwhile with Jane.
A gorilla entered the tent and hugged her. "HAHA GORILLA HUNTING TIME" She said as she grabbed a knife. She stabbed the gorilla.. But it didn't work. "What the? Oh wait.. This is a butter knife.."
Then by some means, they were both kidnapped and brought deep in the forest. Sora and the gang rescued them, then they found Clayton about to shoot a gorilla. Jane bitch slapped him. "I TOLD YOU THAT WAS MY JOB."
"That, Madame, is not Clayton or any particular thing close to him." Said Tarzan.
"What do you mean?"
All of a sudden he started floating.
"That's uh.. kinda awkwared.. But ok.." Sora said.
Some weird, cat-like sounds came from the empty space below.
"Its an invisible, huggable, kitty kat!!" Tarzan said running up to it. But the invisible whatever it was bitch slapped him.
"Bloody hell mate.. What in the world was that for?"Tarzan asked, close to tears.
So they fought and killed the both of them. The invisible cat and Clayton.
"Nooooo you will never part me and Franklin the turtle apart!!" Clayton said as he keeled over, dead.
A gorilla came over and threw Sora in the air to a cave. Then the rest. They entered a cave.
"Pardon but did you know your pals are in your heart?" Tarzan said.
"Grrrreat.. That's a big help.." Sora sighed. "Well..anyway, I'll agree with you Donald.. Purple is the best."
"I knew it~!" Donald punched the air.
"What's that?" Sora saw a keyhole and his key went in the keyhole and locked it.
"Why does that sound wrong coming from you?" Sora asked.
Because I am the perviest chick in The world... Besides yaoi fangirls that write about guys having sex and meatloafs going in steamy ovens.
"True.."
"Omg Im so in love with you." A gorilla said to Donald.
"Umm... Gross.." Donald said.
"Interratial species." Sora said.
Meanwhile at the bad guys
"Dude.. why were heartless there?"Someone asked
"They were living in Tarzans loin cloth."Maleficant said.
"Okay?"
.....
Kinky- Review for potatoes or Brittney will kill you!!!