Within minutes, Rude had pulled up to the curb in a sleek, black sedan. He wordlessly exited the vehicle, and opened the back door so that Cloud could get Reno in the back. "Thanks…partner," Reno managed to get out, still grimacing from pain. The hint of a smile worked at the corner of Rude's mouth, but he said nothing as he slid back into the driver's seat. Cloud managed to get Reno seated in the back of Rude's car, and sat next to him, shutting the door.
"Where to?" Rude inquired, glancing in the rearview mirror.
"Midgar General, I guess," Cloud replied. "That where you usually go?" he asked Reno.
"Usually," Reno said, grunting with pain, "more often than not, I just have Tseng patch me up. This is a little, um…embarrassing, though."
"Sort of a delicate area, isn't it?" Cloud quipped, trying to hide a smile.
"It's not funny, yo!" Reno protested, whimpering as he curled into Cloud's side. "I wouldn't laugh if it was you," he retorted.
"Yes you would," Cloud countered, smiling. He wrapped his arm around Reno in a gentle hug, and stroked his arm.
"Yeah, I suppose I might," Reno admitted, with a small smile. "I hope I didn't rip my nuts off," he moaned.
"I think you'd know if you ripped your nuts off, Reno," Cloud snorted. "Seriously, you'd know. Hopefully it's just a flesh wound."
"Ya know, I heard about this guy one time," Reno began. He shifted, and laid his head in Cloud's lap. "He was jumping a chain link fence, and he timed it wrong. Anyway, his goods got caught – and he got ripped open. Left his right nut on the fence."
"Ohh!" Cloud gasped, flinching. "That sounds awful! Reno, why are you even thinking about this now?"
"Well, obviously," Reno snapped, "my little…uh, miscalculation with the bike reminded me of that. "Anyway, so this dude had to have his nut reattached, but he had to keep it uh…moist, and warm, until he got to the doctor's. So his friend that was with him, carried it in his mouth."
"Okay, Reno," Cloud said, bemused. "Now I know you're making that up."
"I am not!" Reno protested. "I swear to Gaia, that's exactly how I heard it! Now I don't KNOW the guy or anything like that—"
"An urban legend, is what it sounds like," Cloud stated dismissively.
"Would you do that for me, Cloud?" Reno asked seriously. "I would for you. I'd carry your nut in my mouth."
Cloud burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, Reno," he snorted, wiping tears from his eyes. "But that is probably the most fucked-up, yet sweetest thing you've ever said to me."
"Would you still love me if I only had one ball?" Reno asked mournfully.
"I—yes, I would still love you, Reno," Cloud said solemnly, noting to himself that he and Reno hadn't exactly exchanged I love you's yet. He's obviously hallucinating, Cloud thought dismissively. Reno will forget what he said in the morning.
"Ow," Reno whined pathetically. "Fucking hurts, yo."
"We're here," came Rude's voice from the front seat, as he pulled up to the emergency department of Midgar General Hospital. He rolled the sedan practically up onto the sidewalk, and parked it; then, ran around to the back, to open the door for Reno and Cloud. "Thanks, Rude," Cloud said gratefully as he exited the vehicle, gingerly helping Reno out.
"Yeah," Reno said weakly, attempting a smile. "Thanks…partner."
"Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid on his way to triage," Rude muttered, smirking. "I can't leave the car here – you need me here, Cloud? I can park out back, or…"
"Don't worry about it, Rude," Cloud said. "I'll get Reno inside…if we need a ride back anytime soon, I'll call you on my cell. Thanks again."
"No problem," Rude said, waving. "See ya."
Cloud threw his arm around Reno and hoisted him up, carefully walking him into the hospital. "I can get a wheelchair—" Cloud began.
"No," Reno insisted, grimacing. "Hurts to sit, yo. Oh, shit, Cloud—I'm going to yak." He leaned over to the side, and vomited forcefully onto the sidewalk. "Shit," he groaned. "My stomach hurts."
"Did your stomach hurt before?" Cloud asked him, concerned. "Let's get you inside, Reno, come on. I'll help you."
"It didn't hurt until just now," Reno said, frowning. "Maybe something I ate, yo. Oh, FUCK!" he yelped, doubling over in pain.
"I'm getting you a wheelchair," Cloud said firmly. "Wait right here." Reno slumped against the wall, nodding. He decided not to argue with Cloud – especially since Cloud was right this time, Reno was in no shape to walk.
Moments later, Cloud came flying out of the automatic double doors with a wheelchair, nearly running down some people trying to enter. "Watch it!" snarled the man Cloud almost collided with.
"Sorry!" Cloud apologized breathlessly. "Here, Reno, got you a chair." He wheeled over to the wall that Reno was half-slumped against, and helped him into the chair.
"Ow!" Reno yelped, as he sat. "Motherfucking son of a toothless whore, this fucking hurts, Cloud!"
"I know it does," Cloud murmured, sighing. "I'm sorry, I just want to get you inside…I'm just trying to help…"
"I know you are," Reno mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in the wheelchair. "Thanks, babe."
"Let's get you inside," Cloud said, steering Reno toward the door, and the admissions desk. Reno produced his insurance card – carefully doing so, as he extracted his wallet from the back pocket of his pants – and handed it to Cloud, who answered most of the admitting nurse's questions regarding Reno's injury. Reno sat there in a fog, half-hearing the conversation going around him, as if he weren't even in the room.
Suddenly, a searing hot pain hit Reno in his stomach, and felt as if it were travelling down to his leg. "Oh my fucking gods!" he screamed in agony, clutching his abdomen. "Make it stop! Make it fucking stop!"
It was the last thing he remembered saying before falling out of the wheelchair, and passing out onto the floor.
Several hours later….
Reno knew he had a huge smile on his face when he woke up, but he didn't quite know why. Nor was he entirely certain of where he was, or who he was with. He knew one thing, though – he felt blissfully happy and rested, as if he'd had a good night's sleep.
Where the hell am I, though? Reno wondered, feeling confused. Opening his eyes, he blinked several times, as everything came slowly into focus. Looking down, he noticed an IV in his hand; and, he was most definitely in a hospital gown. And in a hospital bed, come to think of it.
He looked up suddenly, as the door to his room opened, and a nurse entered. "Well hello there," she said, greeting him. "How are you feeling?"
"What…what just happened?" Reno asked groggily. Alarmed, he tried to sit up suddenly, and winced at a pain in his side. "Cloud! Where's Cloud?" he demanded.
"You'll need to not do that again, sir," the nurse chided him, adjusting some pillows behind his back. "You have stitches, and I don't want you tearing them out. Mr. Strife is out in the waiting room, and I'll send him in as soon as the doctor says you can have visitors."
"Oh, good," Reno replied. "I can't wait to see him…wait, what happened to me? I don't remember anything, except…falling out of that chair and hitting the floor."
"The doctor had to perform an emergency appendectomy," the nurse informed him. "Your appendix very nearly ruptured, you know."
"No shit!" Reno exclaimed, clearly surprised. "What about my balls, though? I mean, uh…I came in here with a testicle injury," he corrected himself, his face reddening.
"Yes, I know," the nurse replied, bemused. "It appears all is well in that…area, sir. Doctor will be in shortly to go over your chart with you. In the meantime, I'll need to take your temperature—"
"Please don't stick it up my ass," Reno begged. "There's only one thing I want up my ass, and a thermometer ain't it. Shit, that was out loud, wasn't it. Sorry."
"It's okay," the nurse replied, grinning. "And this is an oral thermometer, so relax.
"Good," Reno said, nodding, allowing the nurse to place the thermometer in his mouth. Shit, did she have to use the word oral, for Gaia's sake? Now I'm getting all flustered. He groaned as he felt his groin involuntarily stir, no doubt a result of the thoughts going through his head involving the word oral, and a certain blond swordsman.
"You're normal," the nurse declared, as she withdrew the thermometer.
"That's the first time anyone's ever said that to me, you know," Reno cracked, chuckling.
"I can imagine," the nurse said dryly, smiling. "Here comes the doctor now," she said briefly as she exited.
The doctor entered Reno's hospital room with a chart underneath his arm. "Good evening," the doctor began. "I understand you're a bit fuzzy on what happened earlier, so I'd like to go over everything with you."
"Please, go ahead," Reno replied, listening.
"Well, I know you came in here with an injury to your scrotum," the doctor began. Reno winced at the words 'injury" and 'scrotum.' "As it turns out, however, that was the least of your worries. You had a sudden acute flare-up of appendicitis, which is likely what made you pass out in the emergency department."
"Yeah," Reno agreed. "That shit hurt like a motherfucker! But ah, you took it out, right? I feel all…numb down here," he said, gesturing to his lower right abdomen.
"Yes, your appendix had to be removed," the doctor said, nodding. "Now, you've got stitches there now, and full recovery from this type of surgery usually takes about four to six weeks—"
"Four to six weeks?" Reno demanded, incredulously. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," the doctor replied grimly. "You'll need to have those stitches removed in about ten to fourteen days, so please make an appointment with my office for follow up. Here's my card," he said, reaching into his pocket for a business card, and handing it to Reno. "As for your…other issue," the doctor continued, "there's no problem with your testicles, although they did receive quite a blow."
Reno thought he might bust through his stitches trying not to laugh at that. "All told, no permanent damage, although they'll probably be sore for a little while," the doctor said.
"Okay, doc," Reno replied, leaning back into the nest of pillows. "Thanks. Oh, hey – can I have visitors now? The nurse said maybe I could soon—"
"Yes, that'll be fine," the doctor replied, smiling. "There's someone waiting for you, I believe. I'll have one of the aides send him in."
"Thank you," Reno replied gratefully.
Not even half a minute later, and Cloud rushed into Reno's room, hastily pulling a chair up to his bedside. "You okay?" he asked Reno, touching a hand to his face.
"I'm fine now, yo," Reno said, grinning. "They took my appendix out, and I'm all drugged up. What's not to like?"
"Yeah, they told me about your appendix," Cloud replied. "Go figure, huh? How is your, uh…other injury doing?" he asked awkwardly.
"Better," Reno replied. "Still pretty damned sore, but um…I didn't tear anything, apparently."
"Good," Cloud replied, relieved. He reached over and clasped Reno's hand, being careful to avoid the IV stuck in there. "Sounds like you'll be here overnight, at least. I'll stay here, and phone Rude tomorrow morning once you're discharged, and we'll get you home."
"Wait, yo," Reno protested weakly. "You're staying here, Cloud? You..don't have to do that, baby, there's nowhere to fucking sleep. I mean...as much as I'd love you in bed with me," he said, grinning, "this bed is fucking tiny, yo."
"It's okay," Cloud replied, smiling. "I can sleep in the chair. I sweet-talked the nurse into letting me stay. She even got me an extra blanket and pillow."
Reno felt something break inside of him at that. Cloud was willing to sleep all night in a fucking chair, just for him? I don't deserve this, Reno thought, sniffling quickly. But...I'd do the same for him, wouldn't I? He smiled at the realization of just what they meant to each other.
"Cloud," Reno said softly, his eyes water. "You fucking shmoozer. Flirting with the nurses just to get your way?"
"I think she's a fag hag," Cloud replied, giggling. "She was putty in my hands."
Reno laughed out loud, grimacing slightly as he did so. "Oh, Cloud," he said, chuckling. "I love you."
Cloud froze, staring at Reno. He felt his heart thudding in his chest, a dull, hollow sound. "You...said that before. In Rude's car."
"I did?" Reno asked, surprised. "Well, I-"
"I thought it just slipped out," Cloud interrupted. "I thought you were...hallucinating."
"I might not have known what I was saying then, Cloud," Reno said softly, squeezing Cloud's hand. "But I meant it. I do love you."
"Bastard," Cloud muttered, sniffling. "Don't make me cry. I...love you too."
"Mmm," Reno purred contentedly as sleep threatened to take over. "Gonna take a nap, now..." he murmured as he began to drift off.
"Okay," replied Cloud. "I'll be right here." He stretched out in the chair, placing the borrowed pillow behind his back, attempting to make his "bed" as comfortable as he could manage. Cloud smiled listening to Reno's soft snores, and eventually followed suit, nodding off a short time later.
A/N: Holy fucking SAP, y'all. I don't know what happened toward the end there, but um...yeah. XD
There will be one more chapter to this...stay tuned!
Oh...and the guy with his nuts on a chain link fence *wince* - I've heard that story a few times, from different people who swore it was true. So maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but it totally sounded like an urban legend type thing. :X