Disclaimer: I own nothing :'(

Author's Note: An update in honor of Richard Bryant's birthday…and just because I think he's way up there in terms of hunky man sexy-ness ;)

Jeremy Sherwood walked with Emmalin Holden through the doors of the Fort Marshall Office Head Quarters, guiding her by the small hand into his father's office. He raised one rough hand to knock against the door.

The sound of someone knocking on his office door only half-tore Colonel Frank Sherwood away from his paperwork and computer screen.

"Come in." Frank called to whoever was outside. He pulled off his glasses and turned his full attention when he realized it was his son and his son's girlfriend.

"Hey ol' man, you busy?" Specialist Jeremy Sherwood smiled at his father, one hand tightly gripping his girlfriend's.

"It's my lunch hour anyway. Whatcha up too, boy?" Frank laughed, happy to have an excuse (any excuse) to take a break from his paperwork.

"Not much. Emmalin and I just thought we'd stop by and give you the good news." Jeremy smiled, pulling Emmalin into his arms and giving her a loving peck on the cheek, making the Army Brat giggle.

"Hmm, good news eh?" Frank raised an eyebrow curiously. By this point he was immune to all their 'lovey dovey-ness' and it didn't even phase him anymore.

"Yeah, you're the first to know…show him, baby." The nineteen year old grinned, tucking a strand of Emmalin's dark chocolate-colored hair behind her ear.

Emmalin held out her left hand for the Colonel to see, proudly showing off a brand new ring. A smile lighting up her face as she leaned forward on her tippy-toes to place a feather light kiss against the Soldier's lips.

"ugh…t-that's a…a ring?" The Colonel gasped, stating the obvious. All he could do was stare shell-shocked at the pale gold ring with the small diamond decorating the seventeen year old's ring finger.

"Yeah, we got married this morning. It's not official yet, we've got three days before the marriage license goes through…first thing we're doing when we get back home is consummating this baby." Jeremy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. His comment making Emmalin's cheeks burn cherry red embarrassedly as she felt the Colonel's gaze travel back and forth between the two teens.

"Consummate?" God, he was having a heart attack…and hallucinating, that's what this must be; a hallucination. His Daddy had a heart attack a few years back, and his Granddaddy died from a heart attack…and bad hearts ran in the family, and now here he was. God, Denise warned him about this, why didn't he listen when she told him 'bacon was bad'?

"Yeah, that's actually why were here. No sex in the barracks and we were wondering if we could borrow the house for a bit, Dad?" the Soldier asked casually, oblivious to his father's state of distress.

"Borrow the house? But…you're married?" Frank stuttered.

"Yes, Sir." Jeremy smiled, glancing down at Emmalin peacefully.

"Why?" Frank was finally able to muster, his jaw still slack. It's a good thing he was sitting down.

"Well it just seemed right, with the baby and all." Jeremy blushed now, gripping Emmalin tighter. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint his father. Making his dad proud was one of the things he strived for most but he could most likely kiss all that goodbye when he mentioned the word baby.

"Baby? There's a baby?" He could feel his pale blonde eyebrows shoot so far up that they disappeared into his hairline completely.

"Yeah, we found out yesterday that I'm pregnant. We're keeping it." Emmalin Holden…. no, Emmalin Sherwood gulped, timidly gripping her boyfriend.

And just like that Frank couldn't contain himself, the sound of his yelling could no doubt be heard through out the whole building. The walls where practically rumbling and he was thisclose to throwing the vase that decorated his desk.

"I…I…I…JEREMY LEE FUCKING SHERWOOD! JOSEPH, MARY AND JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? PREGNANT? SHE'S PREGNANT? AND YOU'RE MARRIED? You're not even supposed to be having sex! She's fucking seventeen years old, for God's sake she's still a baby! That's fucking rediculious, a baby's having a baby! A baby having your Goddamn baby!" Frank had never yelled so much in his entire life, and curse words had never flowed so freely, but it was all he could do to keep from strangling his only son.

Suddenly, in the wake of Frank Sherwood's outburst, Emmalin and Jeremy fell into a fit of laughter. The side rippling, tears of joy, lung-busting kind that happened only when something absolutely hilarious had just taken place.

"What is wrong with you both? Why are you both laughing? Your married! And pregnant!" He was flabbergasted, starring at the two like they'd each grown a second head….now that he thought about it, he was gonna rip one of Jeremy's off.

"Ha ha ha…Emmalin's not pregnant, Dad." Jeremy struggled between fits of laughter.

"And we're not married." Emmalin giggled, dabbing tears from her amber eyes.

"What?" Once again, it was a damn good thing he was sitting down.

"Happy April Fool's, Dad." Jeremy smiled, as if his father's outburst never happened. Kissing Emmalin's forehead, and rubbing her child-free belly.

"What? It's not April Fool's Day."

"You're right, it's not April Fool's Day until next week. But if we would've done this on April Fool's day, you wouldn't have fallen for it."

"You like my wedding ring? We got it from a gumball machine!" the Hockey player flashed the ring again. Turning her hand over, palm side up, revealing the cheap metal adjustable clasp on the bottom.

"That was not funny! Jeremy I was about to kick your ass! I should still kick your ass, boy! You know bad hearts run in our family, you two were 'bout to give me a heart attack!" Relief filled his whole being. He was about to be a father again, he didn't think he could handle being a grandfather too.

"When we got Mom, she almost went into labor." Jeremy smirked.

"It was her idea to throw in the baby line." Emmalin teased, slipping her hands into the back pockets of Jeremy's jeans.

"Your mother knew you both were gonna come prank me like this?" Traitor, traitor, traitor, traitor.

"It was her idea." They both laughed.

"Hey, Frank! You in your office?" Michael Holden called.

"Ohh oh, go get Michael! Keep in the part about a baby! Nearly made me wet myself!" Frank pointed to the door, rising to usher the two teens toward the voice coming farther down the hallway.

And just like that Colonel Frank Sherwood sent his son and almost-future-daughter-in-law off to scare the hell out of his best friend. If he heard any gunshots then he'd know it hadn't gone well.