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Ashley's POV

"Holy mother of God!" I yell as I walk through the front door of my house. "What the fuck?!"

This is just my luck. All I did was go out for seven minutes. Seven minutes of peace to be met by a lifetime of blindness.

On my couch, I see both Kyla and Glen tangled together. Naked. And when I say naked, I mean in the way that neither of them is wearing any clothes. You know. Naked.

They are both scurrying around; trying to, hopefully, find any clothes to cover themselves up with. Oh please, find clothes.

"Oh my God, Ashley, I am so sorry, we thought you'd be gone longer." She says to me as she buttons her jeans up. "I am so incredibly sorry."

Glen, on the other hand, has his boxers and his shorts on and is standing there, in the middle of my living room, like a deer in headlights.

All curly blonde hair and all shocked expression. All stupid.

Kyla roughly shoves him forward to remind him that if he doesn't move I will most likely stab him with my keys.

"Jesus Ky, why the fuck couldn't you do this in your bedroom?" I ask. I feel like it is a legitimate question.

We have a bay window, for Christ's sake.

"It just-" She glances over to Glen, "It just got out of hand so quick, I didn't even realize." She explains hurriedly as she ushers Glen towards the front door.

"We were using protection…" Glen says as he rushes past me.

I have not moved from my initial spot, too scared that if I do the whole thing will happen all over again. And I don't think I can handle something like that again.

I would rather walk the streets in a chicken suit for the rest of my life.

"Well at least you got that covered." I mumble as they pass. I hear Glen snicker like a little eight-year-old girl at my comment.

"Glen!" Kyla shrieks, louder than necessary. I'm sure dogs all over the West Coast heard her.

They finally, finally leave the house and I am left in peace. I do not even attempt to go over to the living room, or even by that couch, or carpet. Just, ew. I will leave that for Kyla to clean. Clean until you can see your reflection. It is determined. I will not be able to sit on that couch for a very, very long time.

The day Paula Carlin comes out to the world will be the day I sit on that couch. So…never.

I am in my kitchen, trying to get over this catastrophe and thinking of how I can coerce Kyla into buying a new couch, when I hear my front door burst open. I swear to Lucifer if those two are back, I will rip all of Kyla's Chanel purses to shreds.

"Ashley!" I hear my name yelled in a weirdly high-pitched voice. A voice that should be gruff.

"Aiden?" I say as I turn to look at him speed walking towards the kitchen.

"Ashley, something happened last night at Slant and I have to tell you." He exclaims all dramatically.

"Geez, did you throw up all over the girl you were dancing with again?" I ask this sincerely because it has happened. More than once.

"Uh, no." Aiden looks a little angry at the memory. Or should I say, memories. "I kissed someone." His voice all deep again.

I jump up once in mock surprise. "Oh my God, are you alright? Did you get tested?!" I go back to making my sandwich.

"Shut up. Look, I kissed someone, alright. Someone that wasn't." Pause "Someone that wasn't a girl." Aiden says so quietly that I'm not sure if I heard him correctly. My sandwich drops from my hand back onto the counter.

"What." I dead-pan.

What is up with today? Is it like the day of weird surprises or something? All I need now is for Spencer to tell me she has an adopted black brother.

"You heard me!" He yells as he waves his arms slightly through the air.

Holy shit. Aiden is gay. I cannot believe I hadn't picked up on this before. The girly yelling. The need to drag Kyla clothes shopping all the time. The arm waving. The hair gel. Here I was just thinking he was just metro.

"You're gay?' I ask. I feel like it is again, another legitimate question.

"No. I, I don't think so? I still think girls are hot and stuff."

"Yeah, well I still think guys are hot and stuff." I counter.

"Ashley." Now it's his turn to dead-pan.

He has a point. "Yeah, alright." I sigh out. "Well, did you enjoy it?"

He starts to pace frantically on the tiled kitchen floor. His cowboy boots making weird clicking sounds every time he steps. God, I can't believe I didn't see it. Cowboy boots.

"That's the thing." He starts as he adds a nervous laughter to the mix. "It wasn't bad, you know? And the guy was totally good-looking. Almost on my level. And it wasn't like some girl I had to be careful with, it was rough. It was…different."

"Different good? I ask him.

He stares at me for a good minute, probably replaying his night along with the kiss in his head. I'm doing the same, trying to picture Aiden kissing a guy. Weird. Before he even says anything I know he's going to say 'yes' because the tiniest of smiles creeping up on his lips give him away.

"Yes." Comes his one-word answer.

I shrug slightly and pick my sandwich back up and take a bite. "You can like whoever Aiden, it doesn't matter." I tell him with my mouth full.

"I know." He admits dejectedly. "I just, I can't believe I didn't see this before."

"You're telling me." I laugh out as I walk to my room with my sandwich in hand, trying to avoid all eye contact with the couch. I leave Aiden in the kitchen to contemplate his new-founded gayness.

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"Wow." Spencer breathes out.

I had just finished telling her everything Aiden told me. Including my failure to realize Aiden's rainbow tendencies.

We are sitting at a diner in a booth, Spencer squeezed nicely next to me, waiting for Aiden. Waiting for Aiden and his mystery man. About a half an hour after he came bursting all girly through my front door, he repeated the action through my bedroom door. Excuse him for not knocking; I could have been doing something important. Someone important. I could have been looking at porn. I could have been starting a rebellion. Although me looking at porn would not stop him, he's failed to knock under that circumstance as well.

He was all shrieky, proclaiming that his mystery lover-boy had texted him and wanted to get lunch. It was obvious that Aiden seemed excited about this. But I was focusing more on the fact that he had given the guy his phone number. Aiden rarely gives his phone number even to girls he deems worthy. He sad he was nervous to see him in a sober state, pondering whether he was one of those people that were only gay when drunk. I'd encountered a few of those types previously.

All of them woke up nervous in the morning and exclaimed, "I'm straight! I'm straight!"

Sure, honey. You definitely were not straight last night. They're all always straight.

Until they're not anymore.

The only way I told Aiden I would assist him was if he would buy me something at the mall after. And that I would be bringing Spencer with us for back up. Me, Aiden, and his gay toy alone were a colorful overload. Thinking back, bringing Spencer would probably only make things worse. I thought she would calm me during lunch.

What was I thinking?

My insanely fast heartbeats in her presence were everything but calm.

"Wow." Spencer breathes again.

"I know. He seems to be taking it pretty well though." I tell her as I sip my water.

I pause a second to look at her. I gave her close to no time to get ready for this adventure so she looks all disheveled, like she just rolled out of bed. But I can only imagine during slipped thoughts of what that really looked like. Her blonde hair is in a loose ponytail, cascading over her shoulder. Her thin t-shirt is extremely wrinkly. I'm so blinded by cuteness, I have to force myself to look away.

Seconds later Aiden comes strolling in looking all manly next to his counter-part. His boy, by first glance, is gorgeous. And I say gorgeous in the way that a lesbian calls a gay man gorgeous. His dirty blonde hair hanging loosely over green eyes. He's about Aiden's height, maybe slightly shorter.

"Hey guys." Aiden says nervously as he and his lover take seats across from me and Spencer. "This is Court." He motions to the boy sitting next to him.

Spencer and I shake hands with him. It is apparent within the first seven minutes that Court is quite smitten with Aiden and, if it's possible, Aiden even more so with Court.

Spencer opens the plastic of her crackers that had accompanied her soup and places them in front of me, not thinking twice about it. I take one and break it in half, popping one half into my mouth. Spencer looks at me and smiles lightly with her mouth but brightly with her eyes. My face turns to mush as her ridiculously blue eyes twinkle at mine. We have so many intimate habits within our friendship that sometimes I wonder how I would function without her. Without her knowing that I will always eat the crackers that come with her soup because she doesn't like them. Without her knowing that the only headbands I own are the ones I steal from her. Without her acting on a certain feeling I am having at any given moment, simply because she knows.

And she's the only one.

"I know this is kind of weird considering the circumstances and all, but I'm glad Aiden wanted me to meet his friends." Court says halfway through, after all the foundation bullshit. I'm glad that Court just comes right out and says something about the awkwardness of the situation. It makes me like him more and-

Holy Jesus, did Aiden just blush?

"So are you two together?" Court asks curiously after chewing some fries. He gestures his finger flamboyantly between Spencer and I.

Oh my God, what do I say to that? I say no, right? Unfortunately. I mean- obviously. Spencer and I have been asked this question a couple times before. By the lady at the super-market. By the kid at the video store. By the girl at Slant who wanted to know if she could "join us."

But that was before. Before she made me stumble around for lost words and before she made my palms sweat stupidly in an air-conditioned room.

Spencer looks at me with a pained expression on her face and I mirror her. I quickly wonder if her expression is pained for the same reason mine is. Because I just want to be able to say Yeah, this is my girl. I open my mouth to say no, but nothing comes out. She makes a noise, probably to say no, but it comes out as a squeak.

"No, they're not together." Aiden answers obliviously. I silently thank him for saving me from the probable humility I would have felt when I almost muttered No, but we so should be.

Court glances between us one more time before taking a sip of his tea. "Too bad." He says with a smirk on his face.

My thoughts exactly.