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Spencer's POV
There's nothing more friendship-y than going to the movies with a group of friends on a Saturday night. Thankfully, we had all decided to opt out of going to Slant or someplace like that. We kept it old-fashioned and went for the movie theater option. I hadn't been to a movie in a while.
The last time I was, was when my mom so nicely set me up on a date with a guy that goes to our church. Being in my circumstance and in my condition, I was so not pleased about this. He was nice. But I didn't like the rough feeling I felt when he held my hand. This was just another thing about my mother to abhor. She is determined to find me a nice Catholic boy to go out with, marry, have babies, and die together as the water rushes into our room on the lower level of the boat.
That is obviously not happening anytime soon. That will happen when Aiden and Kyla decide to go to Las Vegas to get married. I have no problem in waiting for that.
"Why is this line so fucking looooong." Ashley whines from beside me.
"We've only been here for like five minutes Ash." Kyla says to her from in front of us. She turns around to say this and gives Ashley an evil look.
"No one asked you, princess." Ashley retorts back.
"Well when you whine for the whole world to hear, I have a right to say whatever the hell I want." Kyla counters, no emotion in her voice. She plays this game with herself where she tries to show no emotion when talking to her sister. Like she doesn't care.
Kyla plays a lot of games.
Ashley rolls her eyes dramatically, so much so that I can almost see her doing it without even looking at her face.
But why would I not look at her face?
To Kyla's defense though, we really have only been in this line for like five minutes and counting.
"What are we seeing again?" Aiden asks us from over his shoulder.
"Some movie about war and stuff." Ashley says animatedly.
Aiden's face falls. "Ugh. Can't we see something nicer?"
I cannot believe that I never caught on to Aiden not being totally straight. Now, he has come to say that he is bisexual. Right now, he really does stand in the middle but I honestly think it's only a matter of time before he teeters to the boy side. It was one of those things that nobody ever realized until it happened and then it became so totally obvious. I wonder where I fall within that type of thinking. Can you tell that I'm gay? Is it obvious? When, and more importantly if I ever come out, will people be like "Yeah, and…" Or will they say "No way!" I have no idea, I've thought about it a lot. It's hard to look at yourself from an outside point of view. Whenever I try to think about it all my mind keeps going back to is Ashley Davies. How will I ever figure myself out if Ashley is always clouding my mind?
"Jesus Aiden. I know you're gay now but be a man about it." Ashley laughs out. Aiden turns totally around now to face us.
"I'm not gay, Ashley. Why are you, the 'unlabeled one' labeling everyone." He pauses. "What's Spencer's label then? You never attack her."
Aiden looks at Ashley seriously and Ashley's expression turns from anger and then she's smirking.
"She's way too cute to attack." She looks at me and I feel myself blushing like a moron, against my better judgment.
I can't stop the smile forming on my lips as I hear her words. I might have blushed and given my complete euphoria at her statement away, but it was so worth it to hear her say that. Even though I cannot control my body, expressions, or thoughts around her, it is always worth it to hear her say something like that to me. To see her smile widely at me while her dimples are just begging to be touched by my hand.
"Ugh, whatever. Kyla?" Aiden calls for Kyla's defense and back up.
Kyla turns her head slightly, back still facing us. "I'm not interested in this conversation anymore. " She responds plainly.
I chuckle lightly. I know she's still peeved from her short spat with Ashley. I also know that she in no way wants to get between anything that involves me and Ashley. I've had an inkling for a while that she knows how I feel. Sometimes I think she just thinks that I have a little bit of a crush on her sister. But whenever I see her glances between us when we're together, or hear her little comments, I think better. And when she sees my ever-present blush and large eyes always zooming on Ashley, I know she can see the insanely large part of my heart that belongs solely to Ashley.
Ashley sticks her tongue out at Aiden, pushing the fact that he has no back up or help for defending himself. I'm torn away from looking at Ashley's tongue and questioning to myself whether it would really be that big of a deal if I just bit it lightly, when a girl stands right next to me.
I immediately notice the red color of her hair, and it's cute.
"Is your girlfriend buying your ticket?" The girl turns towards me and Ashley. Pointing between us.
"Uh, she's not my girlfriend." I spit out quickly. Obviously, too quickly, because Ashley is wearing a weird expression on her face, one I can't read. Almost as if my quick answer bothered her.
"Oh." The girl says slowly with a smile coming to her lips. She is slightly shorter than me and I will admit, she's pretty cute. She's got a bunch of freckles that are coving her nose and under her eyes. "I'm Robin." She extends her hand to me and I shake it, feeling the cool metal of her rings brush against my fingers.
"Spencer." I point to myself. Robin lends her hand to Ashley but Ashley just looks at it and then looks the girl in the eye. She makes no initiation of movement and it doesn't look like she's going to say anything.
"Er, this is Ashley." I let Robin know as I touch Ashley on the shoulder lightly. Robin raises her eyebrow just the tiniest bit before focusing her eyes back on mine. They are a nice shade of brown.
But nothing compared to Ashley's.
"What are you guys seeing?" Robin asks us with a smile on her face. Aiden and Kyla now turn around, probably wanting to know who this random girl is.
"We're seeing the war one." Kyla speaks up. Pulling some lip-gloss out of her Chanel purse. Robin's eyes flicker quickly to Kyla but then come back to mine. She smiles.
"Cool, me too." She says to us. I think for a second her eyes washed over to my lips, but I can't be entirely sure.
"Are you alone? You should sit with us!" Aiden says in a high-pitched voice.
Up until now, Ashley has said nothing from beside me. But immediately after Aiden asks Robin to join our group, she pipes up.
"What?" She says kind of loudly. Her eyes wander over to Robin who is standing there, smiling, to Aiden who is looking at her with a confused expression, and then they end with mine. Her forehead is all creased and her chocolate eyes are strongly penetrating my own.
"Well, she obviously doesn't have anyone to sit with, if she did why would she be talking to a bunch of strangers?" Aiden says loudly, motioning to the four of us. "God, can't you be nice for a second, Ashley?"
Ashley snaps her head to him at his comment and glares at him.
"Yeah, my date had to leave suddenly, she said it was an emergency. " Robin says to us.
"That sucks." Kyla deadpans.
"Yeah, but I'd like to have someone to sit with," Her eyes meet mine and I hear Ashley snort from beside me, "that'd be nice, thanks." Robin smiles warmly at Aiden and then back at me.
"Sure thing." Aiden says happily.
The rest of the time on the line is spent with me and Aiden talking with Robin. He seems to like her and they are getting along well. In the way that a gay guy and a gay girl get along.
They both love scarves, or something weird like that.
I'm actually enjoying Robin's company as well. She seems really down-to-Earth and cool. I don't get why Ashley is ignoring her and scoffing lightly at almost everything she says. She hasn't done any harm and honestly, she's looking too cute to be able to do any harm. Kyla is semi-interested in the conversation. She says something every once in a while but mostly she is focused on looking over to Ashley.
I have to tell Robin three times that she doesn't have to buy my ticket, and with reluctance she doesn't. Buying a movie ticket is, to me, an intimate interaction with a person. It's for dates or close friendships. Not for random cute girls to do to strangers. But her want to do it still makes me blush just a tiny bit.
Ashley usually buys my ticket, or I buy hers, it's just a habit that we're formed. But Robin stands in front of Ashley when paying. I want to get Ashley's ticket but I feel like it would be rude to ask for two and then not give it to Robin after she wanted to buy mine.
So I just buy my own ticket. Simple.
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I find myself sitting between Ashley and Robin in the theater. Aiden is sitting next to Robin and apparently talking her ear off. She seems happily invested in the conversation.
Kyla is sitting next to Aiden on the end. "So are you gay?" Kyla asks with no reservations. Like it's the most normal thing to ask a stranger.
"Yeah. Are you?" Robin doesn't miss a beat in her answer and comeback question.
"Not much." Kyla says as she leans back in her seat talking to Aiden.
I don't know what "Not much" means but I know it is only something Kyla would say. Obviously pleased with Robin's conversational skills, she leaves her alone.
Ashley gains my attention when she slumps in her seat and asks me if I want some of her popcorn. I can't help but notice how adorable she looks, with her eyes wide peeking from under the hood of her sweatshirt. My breath catches when I see part of her exposed stomach right above the waistband of her jeans.
She stretches the bucket towards me but then pulls it away quickly just when my hand was about to reach in. She grins slyly at me and stretches it back.
"Thanks Ash." I exaggerate and laugh at her.
She nods her head. "Its here if you want it." She says rather seriously.
I glance back at her, her eyes on the screen in front of us. "Okay." I say lightly.
After the movie, we all go our separate ways. But first, Robin pulls me aside from Ashley, Aiden, and Kyla. I hear Aiden and Kyla bickering in the background and I feel Ashley's eyes burning into the back of my head.
"Thanks for letting a total stranger chill with you guys. It was nice." Robin says shyly to me. I smile back at her.
"Of course. It's nice to meet someone who's not a judgmental asshole." I laugh out. Robin chuckles sincerely.
"Anyway. I was kind of wondering-" Robin pauses tentatively, obviously nervous about what she's about to say. "Wondering if I could give you my number?"
I would be lying if I said I was not totally expecting her advance. And although it is a slight one, it still makes me nervous. This means it's for real. A girl, a cute girl with freckles, is interested in me.
I stutter a bit before saying anything. Then I think, well, why not? Right? "Sure." I reply smiling. I give her my phone for her to put in her number. And I surprise her by grabbing hers from her hand and putting in my number. I can't help but think that technology, especially cell phones, are tricky things. And how intimate something like dialing numbers on a cool metal or plastic surface can be. Special even.
"Cool." Robin smiles at me. It takes a lot in me to not compare her smile to Ashley's. It's not as wide, her nose doesn't crinkle, and she doesn't get those adorable little dimples. In the end, I end up doing and thinking just that. We say our goodbyes and that's that.
"Spencer's got a girlfriend." Aiden sings as I walk back to them. I tell him to shut up.
"Wanna walk?" Ashley asks me slowly as we make our way to Aiden's car.
"Yeah, sure." I reply, thinking that I hadn't really talked to her the whole night. Something weird that has never happened before.
"Alright, well we're driving. Goodnight guys." Kyla says to us as she takes Aiden's arm and drags him down the street.
"Night Kyla." Ashley says after them weirdly. I think that was one of the first times I had ever heard her be somewhat nice to her sister. I don't get it.
Ashley and I start to walk down the street, past rows of stores and eventually past skylines of houses.
"So you like that girl?" Ashley speaks the first words between us since we started walking home. Her words are hushed and said tentatively.
"Um. She's nice I guess."
"She's gay and she likes you." Ashley says immediately, the tiniest trace of venom in her voice.
"She's just friendly." I answer slowly, not even partially believing the lie that comes stupidly from my dumb, dumb mouth.
Ashley snorts loudly at my response. "Bullshit. She wants you up, down, and sideways. You could tell by the way she was looking at you Spence."
I don't say anything for a moment. "I don't think so Ash. I mean, well maybe. So?" My ability to form complete thoughts is slowly slipping away as I try to digest this situation.
Was- was Ashley jealous?
Ashley ignores my question and stops walking to turn to face me. "What, do you like girls?" She doesn't say this last part meanly. There was curiosity all over her voice patterns and expressions.
"I- I…" My words stutter and my mouth is suddenly dry, making it difficult, more difficult than before, to form words.
Is this it? Is this the moment when I come out to my best friend? Is this idea really so surprising to her? I always thought maybe she had a clue. She never said anything about my orientation, because I always assumed she applied the "unlabeled" to me as well. If this was the moment that it was really, truly happening in, it was nothing like I ever pictured it. It was not supposed to be over some girl that so obviously hit on me even when I denied it. This moment was supposed to be for Ashley. But then again, how could I ever have the slightest, smallest chance of having her when she didn't even know I liked girls. But did it matter? Was I delusional in thinking I even had a chance with her?
One billion things were running through my head as she looked at me, waiting for an answer to her loaded question patiently.
Her question was like a loaded gun pointing to my temple.
It was like Russian Roulette. I would pull the trigger and either get shot down painfully or just stay where I was. The pain was not in the majority. But nothing is certain.
"I guess so." Those are the words that I have decided to say quietly to my best friend with the plethora of emotions running through her eyes. None of which I could decipher.
All Ashley does is nod and keep walking.
That was probably the least graceful way I could ever come out to anyone.
"Are you going to call her?" Ashley asks not looking at me, but at the warm air in front of her as we reach my house.
"Probably not." Is my truthful reply.
Ashley so obviously tries not to smile at my response. All she says is "Okay."
And I probably wouldn't call Robin. Even though she really was cute and nice. But she didn't leave any kind of significant, lasting impression on my mind.
And especially not on my heart.
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Note: All of the chapter titles are titles of songs that I think fit pretty well with the content of the chapters. Just for fun, if anyone knows what any of the songs are and wants to let me know, that would be super super cool. Have a fantastic weekend! =D