Nick was remorseful. He had been since he had turned around and found himself alone in his room. Never had his sanctuary felt so bare and cold as it did when he realized that Kintra had really left. He heard his mom saying goodbye and waving, so he reached for the blinds on his window, ready to open them and wave as well, but his fingers refused to work properly. They stayed immobile at his side, refusing to help him apologize. He really shouldn't be so touchy. She'd only been trying to empathize with him, something very few people ever did, and Nick now knew why. If someone tried to help him relieve his stress, he just grew angry with them. He rubbed his eyes and stood, shaking his head. Tomorrow, he would apologize. He walked down the stairs to find his mother just shutting the front door. She turned around and asked, "What'd you do?"
Nick stood frozen, unable to answer for a moment. With a sign of unhappiness, he said, "I stupidly yelled at her when she signed something I didn't like."
Mrs. Grey paused for a moment before leaning casually against the door, her signal that she was all ears. "Actually, I meant 'what did you do while I helped Mrs. Philips,' but why don't you tell me about it?"
Nick sighed again and propped himself up against the back of the couch for support. "She wanted me to tell her about myself, so I told her everything I could think of, and I ended with a comment about my diabetes. She told me that she could imagine how hard that must for me, and I got mad. I told her that she really had no idea and then I said that I wanted to be left alone." He looked up, waiting for his mom's reaction. "She left, and then I felt so bad that I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't get myself to come down, and then she was gone." Seeing his mother's disappointed face, he hastily added, "I really am sorry. I'll apologize as soon as I see her tomorrow."
His mom looked saddened. "She won't be here tomorrow," she said.
"Why not?" Nick asked, slightly panicked that she might have canceled lessons because of his behavior.
Mrs. Grey looked at him squarely as she said, "Kintra has a doctor's appointment tomorrow for some more of her leukemia treatments." Nick's jaw fell open and his mom continued. "They usually make her sick, so she'll come back in two weeks." She patted him on the shoulder as she walked toward the kitchen. "That should give you plenty of time to think about what you're going to say."
She had just reached the kitchen when Nick turned around, her words having sunk in. "But in two weeks, we'll be on tour," he said.
His mom threw him a smirk over her shoulder. "Plenty of time to think about what you want to say," she reiterated. "You'll get to know her better."
Nick slumped down on the couch, his brain working furiously to process all this new information. He cringed as he thought about the words he had hissed at Kintra. You don't know what it's like to have to depend on something because without it, you might die. Of course she did. She would have died if she hadn't taken those treatments. Nick shuddered. Here he was, dealing with a disease that at least had a guaranteed way of keeping it under control while Kintra never knew if her treatments would work, if her life would end. He put a hand to his forehead and leaned back on the couch, trying to put all of his apologetic thoughts in a logical order. He was still there when his two older brothers came barreling in through the door.
At first, Nick didn't even look up, and then he heard the voice of his brother, Joe. "Hi to you too." Nick lifted his hand away from his eyes far enough so that he could see Joe and Kevin standing in front of him, waiting for him to go into spasms of delight over them being with him once again. When he failed to even smile, Joe scoffed. "Gee, what'd you do this time?"
Nick groaned. His brother had no idea how much those words hurt him, bringing back the memories from earlier in a sharper, clearer image. Joe had no idea how close to home his words had been. "You don't even want to know," Nick finally responded.
Kevin gave his younger brother a slight shove, telling him without words not to tease Nick anymore. There must be something really wrong. "What happened, Nick?" he asked, his voice, not accusing yet inquisitive, soothed Nick and made him feel as though he could open up without feeling guiltier.
"I yelled at her," he said quietly.
"Who?" his brothers asked at the same time.
"Kintra," he responded.
"The silent girl?" Joe asked.
Irritably, Nick glared at him. "Who else?"
Joe raised his hands. "You never know," he defended. "We might've gotten a new mail lady and she squished a shipment of your socks. You are rather particular in the way you want them handled, you know," he pointed out, making Nick glare at him even more.
"Go on," Kevin said, quelling any further argument between his brothers.
"She was trying to comfort me and I told her that she didn't know what she was talking about," Nick paraphrased. "I told her to leave, and then I felt guilty. I was sure that I could apologize to her tomorrow, but she's not coming back."
Before Joe could make another joke, Kevin asked, "Why's that?"
Nick bowed his head. "She has leukemia," he explained. "Mom said that she has a treatment tomorrow and they make her sick, so she won't be back for two weeks."
Joe frowned. "But in two weeks…" he trailed off.
Nick nodded. "Mom says she's coming on tour with us. I have a feeling that she doesn't know it yet, otherwise she'd probably politely decline after the way I treated her today." He hung his head. "She understood more than anyone else could've and all I did was get mad at her."
Kevin patted his brother's shoulder encouragingly. "I'm sure you'll figure out something to say," he said. "It sounds like you're really sorry."
Joe chimed in. "Yeah, and you'll have the whole tour to show her you mean it. Don't worry about it." He offered his hand to pull Nick up from the couch. "Come on!" he added. "It's time for dinner!"
Smiling, Nick followed the boys into the kitchen, but inside, the turmoil was not over. He was still waiting for the right apology words to come.