This story got two more followers this week! Yay! I know you, people, don't review much, but at least I know you're reading, ne? Hum... I love my evil Wufei. Hahahah And my very composed and understanding Relena too. :P She's so well-resolved...

CHAPTER 13

He stared at the bedroom door for a long moment. It had been difficult leaving Quatre – he had felt so at peace in the blonde's company, so balanced, and it was a feeling he craved – but this… This would be even harder. He took a deep breath and walked in. Maybe he should have knocked, he wondered as an afterthought. If he had found her naked, it would have made him feel awful (as if he did not feel bad enough already).

Thankfully, she was in her nightgown, lying on the bed with her back propped up against the pillows and a book in her hands. She raised her eyes when he entered and smiled. "Hey. How was the course?"

"It was fine." He answered not feeling very talkative. He wished she would stop smiling… It would have made things easier. "What book is that?" Heero frowned at the horrid picture on the cover. He had never seen the monstrosity before.

"I borrowed it from Trowa." Her smile widened at some private joke that he clearly wasn't privy to. "He bought it at the spaceport. There weren't many options…"

It did not look like something his friend would read, but then what did he know? "I…" he started, trying not to look away from her. Why did it have to be so hard to hurt her? Even if only emotionally?

"We need to talk." She said with an understanding nod, the smile remained on her lips as serene as could be. "I know."

Heero was ashamed at the relief that filled him, but there was nothing he could do. He had never been good with words whereas Relena could twist and turn them however and whenever she wanted. Letting her take charge (or anyone for that matter) usually made him uneasy. If he had a goal to reach he did not want anyone intervening or spoiling his plans. For once though, he wanted her to lead, wanted her to carry the conversation for him. It was frighteningly liberating.

"Sit." She said after a long minute of silence and pulled her legs up against her chest, patting the spot she vacated as she did so. He crossed the distance between them, walked around the bed and sat. Part of him was actually afraid of what she was going to say. What would he feel when she broke up with him? Would he feel pain? Sorrow? Relief? "Have you ever felt like…" Relena finally started, looking at her hands as she searched for the right words. "Have you ever felt like our relationship was never meant to be more than a deep friendship? Like the only reason we got together was because…"

"Everyone expected us to." Heero finished for her. "Yes." He resumed, she seemed relieved. "There was always a lot of pressure for us to be together."

"It was good, Heero." She leaned forward to take his hand. "I am really proud to say you were my first, but I'm not sure…" her gaze strayed away. "I'm not sure there was ever any real love – in the romantic sense, I mean – between us. I do love you as a friend and as a person, but as a man…"

He cleared his throat, bringing her eyes back up to his. Why must she drag this on? There was this horrid feeling building up inside him, almost like he was going to panic, and it was begging her to stop. "I…" he started before she could continue. "I understand."

"I do not feel like you have loved me as a woman either…" Relena sounded consoling now which he sort of hated, but he listened on anyways. "I know it's hard to tell with love… I was pretty confused myself for a long time, but… Now, I can see the way things are."

"You have…fallen in love, then?" She blushed not only in embarrassment, but in pleasure as well and it was a look he had never seen on her face. Suddenly, he felt really happy for her. "Does he love you back?"

"I… I think so, I… I haven't talked to him yet."

"You should then." Heero said and nodded, slightly surprised at his own conviction. She was right. They had never romantically loved each other and that was even sadder than if they actually had. Or so it seemed to him in his meagre understanding of emotions.

Relena looked like she was about to say something big, but then she shook her head and merely smiled. "Thank you." She said earnestly, squeezing his hand.

"I guess I should get my things and move upstairs with Trowa."

"Are you sure? A couple more nights will make no difference, besides… We're still friends, aren't we?"

"Yes, of course, but…"

He wanted, no, needed sometime away from her and to talk to Trowa. What he truly wanted was to go after Quatre, but he figured talking to someone uninvolved – or at least partially uninvolved – would help him sort out his thoughts.

"No, it's okay." She cut in, when he opened his mouth again, and smiled. "I understand."

Heero hadn't really unpacked and what he had brought amounted to very little – he had always travelled light, it was a habit he did not see any reason to break – so within less than five minutes he was ready to go. "Did Chang come back?" he asked as an ice breaker, not because the silence had been uncomfortable, but because he knew he could not leave without saying something. This wasn't farewell.

"Oh, yes, actually." She closed the book on her finger. "Tomorrow we can review our sleeping arrangements… Maybe you and Trowa can share this room and I'll take the TV room."

"Trowa would never agree to that, Relena, and neither would Quatre." He shook his head at her. She should have known… "We'll discuss this tomorrow."

"Okay." She smiled. "Thank you, Heero. Goodnight."

He nodded and, once he found himself alone in the corridor, released a deep breath. Quatre was in the kitchen, he knew – they hadn't really had anything to eat since they had left for the course – but Heero did not want to talk to him just yet. Besides, that heartfelt conversation with Relena had killed any appetite he might have had. So he made for the stairs and found Trowa lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling and daydreaming as he ran his fingers through Hope's fur. The cat looked highly pleased, her eyes closed as she oscillated with every breath he drew.

"Relena stole your crappy book." Heero commented in ways of greeting.

"She just asked for it and I couldn't say 'no'." he answered and it took another long moment before he forced his eyes away from their perch and to the bag on the floor between them. He raised an eyebrow. "Did you…fight?"

"No." Heero said and his long exhalation turned into an awkward sigh. "We're over."

Trowa stared. Then blinked once, twice, thrice. "You're joking." He said finally and his voice had an edge of panic to it. Or was it anger? It was all really confusing. Heero had expected him to be happy or at least having been expecting the news, but then again he had not expected Relena's words to pain him so. Maybe it was the shock?

"I don't joke." He said simply and forced his friend to recoil his legs as he took a sit. Hope immediately stood up, stretching and moved onto his lap in a reconnaissance mission. His fingers ran through soft fur as he waited for Trowa to process the information.

"Why?" was what he came up with and he sounded as if Heero were breaking up with him.

"Why?" it was a hell of a hard question at that. "Because we realised that we don't really love each other that way." He was pausing so long between each word that he sounded almost retarded. He scowled at himself. Maybe he should have gone straight to Quatre after all.

"That's so…sudden."

It wasn't really sudden, Heero mused. The decision was, then change was, but they had come a long way to get where they were now. "Perhaps." He said.

"What are you going to do?"

"Tonight I will sleep here. Tomorrow… We'll see." He had hopes of sleeping with Quatre, but then that might ruin their reapproximation or whatever it was they were trying to get at.

"I meant when we go back to Earth."

"I don't see why anything major should change. I mean, of course we will stop sleeping over at each other's places, but that should be about it."

Trowa's eyes returned to the ceiling. Heero wondered what was so interesting about it and watched his friend blink. "Whose decision was it? To break up?"

"It was mutual."

"So you broke up with her because you do not love her and she broke up with you because she does not love you."

"I thought that had already been established." He raised an eyebrow.

"I know. I was just…" Trowa hesitated.

"Say it."

"I was remembering that chat we had about Quatre getting under your skin… I just wanted to make sure you were not making any hasty decisions."

Heero half-sighed half-chuckled. He was grateful to have the green eyed man around to keep him on his feet. "I won't lie to you. I am trying to rebuild, or build as it is, something with Quatre, but I would have ended it with Relena either ways or she would have ended it with me. She had her own reasons as well." He saw Trowa's brow furrow at that, but he refrained from asking what was on his mind.

"If you…uh…need anything…"

It was awkward, despite their proximity, being emotional, but Heero suddenly found himself feeling peaceful as if simply talking to Trowa and sharing his reasoning had busted his confidence in his decision. "Thank you." He said and he meant it.

His friend's mouth snapped shut in shock and did not open for the rest of the night.

OxOxO

Awkward. Talking to him, especially in front of Trowa, was awkward and she hated it. She had stopped them just as they prepared to leave for their morning stroll and now the three of them stood in the middle of the hall, staring stupidly at each other while they waited for her to justify the interruption. The problem was Relena did not have a justification. All she knew was that she wanted to talk to Trowa, needed to talk to him. About what she did not know either, but she trusted his quiet, reassuring presence to help her straighten her thoughts.

"I…" she felt like a schoolgirl again and she had never felt like one before this week, not even when she was a schoolgirl. "I wanted to talk to Trowa."

Heero gave his friend a long look, but the green eyed man seemed unable to turn away from her. Was he unsure what to say to her now that she and the other man were no longer together? Would that change anything? Relena suddenly felt the cold fingers of dread rake up her spine.

"Maybe Relena could accompany you? I should talk to Quatre about our sleeping arrangements."

It sounded somewhat farfetched, but no one commented on that fact. Trowa cleared his throat, blushing lightly. "Would you like to…"

"Of course." She smiled a little too brightly.

They rode the elevator in silence, but not the comfortable kind of silence they were used to. Yes, things had changed. They had already changed. She seemed to have developed and extra awareness of him and he of her. Relena realised they were both blushing and fidgeting. It was so ridiculous considering they had been alone together in a hotel room two days before… She started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Trowa asked as they stepped out into the street and she was relieved to see an amused smile on his lips.

"It's just that we're both single now." Her laughter had turned into giggles.

"Yeah." He agreed, staring thoughtfully up at the artificially cloudy skies.

"I wonder how they decide whether a day should be sunny or cloudy… Don't you think we should have the right to vote?"

Trowa chuckled at the idea. "I think it is up to the local farmers. Do you know if the project they were working on to start producing food in the colonies was successful?"

"Last I heard it was getting some good results."

"That's good."

They walked together down the street and the silence reinstated itself. At least, Relena mused, they had gotten past the initial awkwardness. She felt a little ridiculous, not knowing what to do… It unnerved her. A small part of her had expected him to confess right away, but then… Heero was his best friend and she was his ex-girlfriend and – after Kate – Trowa was certainly not going to risk taking the first step and getting his heart crushed again. Relena might think she had made her feelings for him quite obvious, but men were so dense…

They stopped at the curb then and, as they waited for the green light, she took his hand. She felt bold. He immediately tensed under her touch, his eyes moving to look at her from their corner. Relena half-met his gaze expectantly. He swallowed, visibly, but did not pull away.

"The light is green." She commented quietly.

"Hn." He agreed and his fingers finally wrapped around hers. She tried to resist it, but ended up turning her head and beaming at him anyways. Trowa blushed.

"I've been thinking about what I want to do once I leave the Ministry…"

"Have you…" he cleared his throat. "Have you decided on anything?"

"No, not really." She chuckled.

"I…" he started, but could not or would not finish.

"You?" Relena goaded, taking a half-step forward so she could look into his eyes, his hand tightened around hers, but he refused to finish. Her curiosity was making her itch, still she knew better than to pressure him.

"What are the options?" Trowa wisely returned to the subject of her new career.

"Oh, I don't know… Law school? Med school? Maybe starting a business…"

"What kind of business?"

"A shop. Clothes? No, I don't think so." She grimaced a little at the thought of all the snobbish and annoying women that would frequent her shop just because of her family name…

"Food?"

"Food?" Relena halted and their gazes met, hers curiously excited and his matter-of-factly. The fact that they were holding hands seemed to have slipped their minds.

"Yes." Trowa nodded. "A patisserie maybe? Or a café?"

"Chocolaterie?" she wondered, eyes gleaming at the idea, and he smiled at her. "Wait. I know!"

"What?"

"Trowa…" her hand finally slipped out of his to join its sister in clutching at his shoulders. He did not seem to mind or even notice as he waited rather anxiously for her to elaborate. "I know!"

"What do you know?" he repeated, chuckling at her excitement.

"I'm opening a restaurant…with Quatre!" and then her arms moved up and around his neck and she hugged him. She wasn't really thinking about it, but her heart went berserk when she felt his arms encircle her waist. Or maybe it was his heart she was feeling… They seemed to be holding each other rather tightly. She could hear him breathe. "What do you think?" Relena asked quietly after some time.

"I think…" he took a deep breath as they pulled away and smiled. "I think it's a perfect idea."

The look he was giving her made her want to melt. There was such adoration in his eyes… If only she could wrap herself around him and never let him go… But it was too soon, wasn't it? It wouldn't be right to talk about their feelings so soon after her break up with Heero, would it? She bit her lip.

"We should probably go back…"

He agreed with a nod, but hesitated on turning around. Relena met his eyes and, without a word, understood what was running through his head. She reached out, linking their fingers, and smiled as she tugged him back towards their temporary home.

OxOxO

"I talked to Relena." Heero said from the doorway and Quatre jumped two feet in the air. It was by sheer luck that he wasn't holding Khadija and by even more luck that he managed to grab his heart and pull it back down when it ran up his throat.

"I should kill you." He hissed, giving the dark haired man his 2 second death glare. It had not improved in duration, but it had gained some wickedness in the last few days. Heero merely raised his eyebrows and waited for an answer. Quatre sighed. "What did she say?"

"We reached an agreement and ended it."

The blonde gave his friend a once over. He did not look any worse for the wear, but it didn't cost to be certain. "Are you alright?" Heero frowned and that seemed to be as much of an answer as he was willing to give. Quatre sighed. Again. "How's Relena?"

"Fine. She went out with Trowa."

They didn't waste time, did they? He turned on the electronic baby sitter and pushed his friend out of the way as he headed to the kitchen. It seemed someone had decided at some point that Wufei would be responsible for breakfast that morning and Quatre was quite pleased to find him already in the kitchen, apron and all. He was starving.

"We need to talk." He told Heero quietly, halting at the threshold. "About what was…and about what will be."

"I know." His friend answered, eyes softening.

"Have you thought about it?" the blonde brushed some dust off the other man's T-shirt absent-mindedly. It didn't matter if Wufei saw them or not… He already knew.

"I have." Came the whispered reply.

"I'll go shopping later…for ingredients. I want to cook you ramen tonight."

"Would you like me to come?" Heero pushed a strand of light blonde hair behind his ear and Quatre let out a wistful sigh.

"I'd love it if you did. It would be a nice opportunity for us to talk, I guess."

"Hn."

Wufei cleared his throat loudly, startling them, and the blonde felt himself blush. If he did not feel guilty he would have wanted to strangle the Chinese man. "What?" he asked instead, tone only slightly harsher than usual.

"Your deep whispered conversation is getting on my nerves."

"And you think that is a good enough reason to interrupt?"

"No. I think I deserve to be included and that is a good enough reason to interrupt."

Heero glared at the man's back, but Quatre laid a hand on his shoulder blade and shook his head. It wasn't worth it. They moved in unison and took seats at the isle.

"Did you talk to her this morning?" he asked once they were settled, but kept his voice low despite Wufei's protest.

"Last night."

"Then where did you sleep? No, wait. I know that one… Upstairs with Trowa?"

"Hn."

Quatre meant to ask why Heero hadn't sought him out instead, but decided not to. It was too soon. They still had to have the conversation despite the little scene in the car. For which he took complete responsibility, of course. "So we need to review our sleeping arrangements?"

"It's only for one night."

He met Heero's eyes, horrified. Of course, he knew they would all be leaving the next day, but… Why did it suddenly feel so real? They would be gone, all of them, and he would be alone again. Yes, there was Khadija, but – as busy as she might make him – she could not hold a conversation yet, could not distract him from his inner demons. The mere thought of the empty silent penthouse was breath-taking in a painful, inevitable, kind of way. He glanced at Wufei out of the corner of his eye, his back remained turned to them. Quatre moved his lips knowing Heero would be able to read them.

"Sleep with me tonight."

"What will we tell the others?" came the also soundless response.

"We'll tell them you're sleeping upstairs again. It's only for one night after all. Don't you want to?"

The dark blue eyes softened. "Of course, I want to."

They gave their friend's back another wary look, and the blonde – feeling safe enough – took Heero's hand with a smile. He knew he was blushing, but he tried not to care…and he had thought they were too far gone for puppy love. Maybe it was the whole 'hiding from the Chinese man' game they were playing. His heart was suddenly pumping… Maybe it was in anticipation… Not that he expected anything to happen that night, but…

"I know you're talking behind my back." Wufei made sure to inform them. No need to glance over his shoulder.

Quatre ignored his observation. "What are you making?"

"A fruit salad."

"Really?" he asked rather sceptically, playing with Heero's fingers.

"Chang is an adept of the healthy life style." Former pilot 01 commented with a touch of something the blonde could not identify. It sounded like mockery but with a hidden threat in it. Well, if Wufei had threatened to spill the beans to Relena it was only natural that they be mad at him for his meddling. It was none of his business.

Former pilot 05 snorted. "And what was it you were saying about sleeping arrangements? Has something changed?"

"Yes, actually." It was Relena who answered. Quatre felt the blood drain from his face as he let go of Heero's hand. How long had she been there? Had she seen? "Heero and I have talked…" she continued, glancing at the aforementioned man for confirmation. He nodded. "And we've decided we want different things for our lives."

Or different people, the blonde man mused, looking at Trowa over her shoulder. Wufei had turned around and was now leaning against the counter, his face sporting only the slightest of frowns. It did not bode well… It did not bode well, and Quatre knew. He knew the moment the Chinese man's mouth opened that they would regret toying with him.

"So you've told her about your kiss?" he asked with a hint of fake curiosity and a lot of veiled amusement.

"Kiss?" Relena frowned. "What kiss?" she turned to Heero, but his face remained blank, betraying absolutely nothing. The blonde man knew he was struck speechless, so he cut in.

"Can we talk?" he asked her. The young Foreign Minister did not look angry, merely confused. Trowa's wide-eyed gaze was much scarier.

"I guess…"

"In private?" Quatre stood up, business tone and business smile in place. She nodded and he gestured her towards the terrace with an extended arm. "This way, please." Over his shoulder he met Heero's eyes. "Stay." He ordered nearly soundlessly, leaving no room for argument, and Duo – who had arrived in the middle of the commotion – gapped at him. "Look after Khadija." The blonde told no one in particular and trust the electronic baby sitter into the closest pair of hands (which happened to be Trowa's) before following the lady outside.

Relena looked calm, probably avoiding to reach her own conclusions and opting to wait for his explanation instead. He thought that was quite nice of her. No, not just nice… If she really had loved Heero as a lover she would have snapped, maybe slapped him… He knew that's what he would have wanted to do had their roles suddenly been reversed. He wouldn't have done it though, his self-control was better than that...but then so was hers. There wasn't really anyone completely 'normal' in their little group. He wondered if that was why they only seemed to find solace amongst themselves.

"You and Heero…kissed." She said calmly, as if she still did not quite believe it, and – even though it wasn't a question – he nodded. "Okay…"

Quatre waited patiently for his friend to come to terms with the information and, when he was certain she would not have a seizure or try to jump off the terrace, he started. From the beginning. "Heero and I… We… We were together for some time, for a short time. We thought nothing of it at the time. We were lonely, inexperienced and in the middle of a war… We were sure we would die. We thought nothing of it, but it marked us, 'Lena." He shook his head, trying rather desperately to make her understand. "It bound us… I don't know. I don't know what happened. We still need to talk about it. We're trying to figure it out. I don't know if it's love or just lust or something else entirely, but…" the blonde was surprised to find himself begging and yet he did not feel ashamed nor did he back down. "I need him."

By the end of the second week, they had established a quiet and comfortable routine. They dinned together at the school cafeteria – Quatre chattering away while Heero listened in attentively – then they would retire to their bedroom and the blonde would take a shower while his roommate typed away at his laptop. There were days when he felt lonely so he left the bathroom door not only open, but slightly ajar in a silent invitation which Heero never took. Once Quatre had found him standing in front of the door as if fighting the urge to walk in, still he never had.

Usually when he sought the blonde out it was already past midnight. He was always tender and unsure at first, but then Quatre would reciprocate his advances and their pace would grow almost frantic… Desperate. It had been painful and uncomfortable at the beginning, but the blonde was grateful for the distraction. It seemed whenever he was idle for too long his mind would stray back to Trowa and the explosion… Even in sleep.

When their bodies grew accustomed to one another, pleasure became an even better distraction than pain. They learned each other's needs and preferences and drove themselves to near insanity, until they were so exhausted they could do nothing but lie down and sleep. Heero was always gone when Quatre woke up. He had never given it much thought at the time, but now – in retrospective – he realised how hurt he had been and how afraid the other pilot had been of furthering their intimacy. The blonde had always thought – until that moment when he told Relena so – that they had been afraid of dying, of the air of uncertainty that surrounded them and their future, but now he realised that Heero had been – as was usual – afraid of himself, of his feelings.

He had been falling for Quatre and he had not wanted to, so he had avoided participating on their one-sided chats over dinner or joining the blonde in the shower or waking up next to him. Those actions were all far too intimate… In a surprising way, to share those small moments felt even more intimate than sex itself. Heero's eyes had betrayed him though… Quatre remembered the careful way they followed his every action and registered his preferences as if they were trying to absorb him… He had dismissed it as wishful thinking. The Perfect Soldier could not feel, did not have emotions, he was unable to care and yet… Through his denial, the blonde had washed his hands, had freed himself of any guilt he might harbour… At the end though he had to admit he had had the chance to help not only Heero but also himself and he had been too caught up in his own misery and self-pity… He had ruined everything.

Relena was looking at him and he could tell that she saw him. She really truly saw him. Her face melted into a look of sympathy and she smiled softly. "Oh, Quatre, you don't need to explain yourself to me so thoroughly. Heero's not my property and what happened before we got together happened before we got together."

"But the kiss Wufei mentioned…"

"It would've never happened if we really loved each other that way." Her smile turned a little bitter, regretful maybe, but it remained there, still reassuring him somehow.

He exhaled the longest breath he had ever held and collapsed on one of the lounge chairs. "I'm sorry, Relena. I am so sorry."

She laughed, taking a seat beside him and pulling him into a hug. "I'm in love with Trowa." She whispered in his ear, and he chuckled.

"I know."

"I knew you knew. I just wanted to let you know I knew you knew." They laughed together. "God, what a mess…"

"I know." He repeated in agreement and, with a sigh, she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I want to open a restaurant." She said suddenly with determination. "And I want you to be my business partner and chef."

"What?" Quatre pulled away to meet her gaze with surprised wide eyes. "I'm nowhere close to being that good… I'm not experienced at all, 'Lena!"

"I know, I know." She chuckled at his desperation. "I'm going to wait until my term as Foreign Minister is over first… Then we'll need to look for the right place… Probably rebuild the whole thing the way we want it to be… It's still going to take some time. Enough for you to take a real course and get comfortable with the idea. What kind of food do you think we should serve?"

"Huh…" was all he came up with, he was still gapping at her. "What…Uh…What…prompted this...this…" Quatre could only gesture vaguely in his search for a word.

"Oh… Trowa." Relena smiled brightly. "He gave me the courage to give it all up and go after something I truly wanted. Something I needed. A change."

"Wow…"

"Yeah."

"Do you realise that, in less than one week, our whole lives have turned upside down?"

"I do realise that." She was still smiling. "So… Shall we have breakfast?"

"Are you sure you're not angry?" he asked reluctantly, almost fearfully, as they stood to leave, still he had to know.

"Angry, no… I admit perhaps I haven't come to terms with the idea yet… It's really weird to think about… Well… I'm glad it was you he kissed. He could have kissed much yuckier people."

The blonde could not help but laugh. "Yeah, I guess he could have."