**I, unfortunately, do not own South of Nowhere.
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Ashley's POV

I Love
how you wipe my tears away with your thumb

I've had a few dinners at the Carlin Residence. Just a few, though. They're nice, refreshing, you know? There are so few families today that actually sit down and have a dinner together. Mashed Potatoes. Steak. Salad. Jesus, even salad. That might have been the first time I ever had a homemade salad with dressing. It was like it was out of a Children's Book.

One of the reasons I don't do dinner there much is because of Spencer's mom, Paula. I'm not so fond of her and I am one hundred percent sure she is not fond of me either. I know because she lets me know quite frequently. In that obnoxious passive-aggressive way. It had always been in that way. Until one night it wasn't. Until one night it was more out there in the open, for everyone to see and to hear.

Maybe Paula didn't like me because I had a couple of tattoos in some places where it's deemed "skanky." I don't care though, they mean something and that is all that matters to me. Maybe Paula doesn't like me because I have too much metal in my ears and face for her liking. Maybe Paula doesn't like me because I'm not a nice little Catholic boy for her cherished daughter to date. Maybe Paula doesn't like me because I'm gay.

I was lying on Spencer's bed reading a magazine while she did homework on her computer. It amazed me how she could just sit down and actually put effort into her homework. I was never one for homework or high school. It seemed so pointless. Some people were just not made for school. That was not Spencer.

"God, Ashlee Simpson is such a hoe, but so hot." I said into the air.

I saw Spencer's shoulders move up and down in a fit of giggles. "You always say that Ash."

"Cause it's true!" I exclaimed.

I loved that I could be myself around Spencer. I loved that I didn't have to hide who I was, not that I usually did that. But it was nice to know she wasn't judging. It was nice to know she wouldn't throw out some homophobic insult anytime anything like that was brought up. I loved that she liked me for me, for being Ashley. And not anything or anyone else.

I know I've said I'm not into labels, but I didn't know about Spencer. I was pretty sure she was straight. She'd always had boyfriends and never any kind of contact with a girl in that way. Something I could not say for myself. I wanted to ask her if she had an interest in girls. Sometimes she'd give hints of it. Like when she said she watched some of Girltrash!, but "because it's funny." Or like when she'd stare too long at a girl's tattoo. But then again, she'd always tell me about guys she thought were hot.

I knew her family was conservative, but up until that night I hadn't known the extent of it.

The door to Spencer's bedroom opened and Paula stepped inside.

"So I guess you're staying for dinner, Ashley." She said, not looking at me.

"Yeah, thanks." I replied, not looking at her but at my magazine. I glanced at Spencer when she got up and saw the small of her back exposed for a second. My eyes stayed a second too long and I put my nose back in my magazine.

"Well, it will be ready soon, Spence." Paula said sternly, most likely catching my mistake.

"Alright mom, we'll be right down." Spencer said while pulling a hoodie over her head. It happened to be mine and it fit her perfectly, I might add. Paula left and Spencer hopped on the bed next to me, smelling all sweet.

"That's mine, you know." I smirked as I said this slowly, meeting her eyes seconds later.

She shrugged. "It's comfy."

I chuckled lightly. "Well you do look cute in it." I said, trying to sound joking but not pulling it off.

Spencer smiled wide at me.

"DINNER!" Was yelled from somewhere downstairs, pulling us out of our moment. I followed Spencer down the stairs and into the dining room.

We had to say grace before dinner. It didn't bother me much I just am not one for religion. I don't see the point and I certainly don't practice or call myself anything. It was slightly uncomfortable at the worst but whatever.

I honestly can't say what they were talking about because I was just zoning on the food. Eating a home-cooked dinner was nice and I was starving. My "family," and I use the term family loosely, didn't do home-cooked dinners. My "family" didn't do much of anything.

"This is amazing." I said once I had fully chewed and swallowed some food.

"I try." Glen said from across the table. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Be quiet Glen. Thank you Ashley. I try too." Spencer's dad, Arthur said. He was always nice to me, welcoming. He was definitely my second favorite Carlin.

"So I talked to Mrs. Winfield today, and they're having some problems with Sharon." Paula said to Spencer from across the table.

I guess that was one of Spencer's friends from Ohio. She never talked about them and I didn't mind. She always said her friends here were better. I loved it when she said stuff like that. It made me feel like I could be good at something. At being a friend. Especially to her.

"Oh really, what's going on?" Spencer asked curiously with her mouth full. I glanced sideways at her and smiled at her cuteness.

"Supposedly she has some type of 'girlfriend', or something. Charles and Kim are obviously not happy." Paula said with a twinge of disgust and pity in her voice, putting air quotes around the word girlfriend.

Spencer just looked at her mother for a few seconds while no one else said anything.

"And what's wrong with that?" Spencer asked roughly. I glanced at her again, but this time it was out of nervousness. I didn't like where this conversation, especially with how Paula was speaking, was going.

Paula looked at Spencer with a confused look on her face and then looked at Arthur.

"Obviously it's not right.' She said simply. Simply like a bitch.

I saw Spencer tense out of the corner of my eye and braced myself for something I didn't think I would be enjoying much. I was used to people being like this, close-minded and horrid. The way Spencer was tensing showed that she had never fully realized her mother felt this way.

"Why does it matter who someone likes?" Spencer almost yelled and I almost coughed loudly but I held my surprise at her outburst in.

"Yeah, Ashley likes girls." Glen spat out. I don't know if he was defending me, trying to ease the situation, make it even more uncomfortable and awkward, or just being an asshole. But it was so not the right thing to say at the moment.

So not the right thing to say.

Paula squinted her eyes at me. I knew she had always known, I don't know how, I don't know if someone told her. And I knew she never liked me, ever. But I guess having it displayed out in the open like that made her hatred for me even stronger.

"It's just not right. I do not approve, and neither does God." She said venomously.

"Mom!" Spencer yelled.

"Paula." Arthur whispered, like there was something stuck in his throat. He was obviously at a loss for words.

I, on the other hand, was not.

"I don't need anyone's approval, especially not God's to tell me who to love. A person is a person. I know it's right to love. No matter who."

Paula shook her head at me. "No, it's not. It's against human nature."

I scoffed lightly and stood up from my seat. I'm not the most level headed person and I will defend myself for being who I am late into the night, but this woman made me sick. I felt put-down, disgusting, and most importantly, not the person I thought I was. And I hated that this woman made me feel all the things I for so long had thought I put behind me. Loathing coursed through me. I wanted to scream and smack her. But I didn't want to make a scene, especially not at Spencer's house with her watching my every move. I couldn't do that to her, no matter how much I desperately wanted to.

"Too bad you feel that way." I said in a disgusted tone. "I guess that's my cue to leave. Thank you for dinner, Mr. C" I said and mustered up the strength to give him a smile. It was basically impossible. Then I walked from the room and out onto the porch.

I didn't expect her to follow me. I didn't expect her to care that much. I heard lots of yelling as I sat down on the bench for a second before I left, to clear my head before driving off crazily and pissed, into the night. I could feel some tears wanting to brim my eyes, but there was no way I would allow them to fall. Not now. Not because of one woman. Even if that woman was the mother of a girl I cared deeply for. A girl I cared for more than anyone else. A girl I think I was starting to care about more than myself.

I heard the door click behind me and I looked back to see Spencer with tears streaming out of her eyes and falling down her red cheeks. She was not sobbing or making any noise, they were just silent tears. The most heart-breaking kind.

And it's true. My heart broke at the sight of her.

I wrung my hands together as I stood up to meet her, about to motion to my car that I was leaving. But before I could do that Spencer had her arms around my waist, holding me close to her.

My heart came to life.

I hugged her back, rubbing my hands up and down her back, trying my hardest to soothe her. To let her know it was alright.

A muffled "I'm sorry" came out of her mouth, which was pressed tightly against my shoulder. She pulled her head back to look at me, tears clouding her beautiful eyes, making then shiny. "I'm so sorry Ash, you so didn't deserve that." More tears.

I put my hands up to her face and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. The tears kept coming and I kept wiping them softly, loving how soft her skin was, even though that was probably the last thing I should have been thinking about at that moment.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Spence." I whispered to her. A sob came. I took her hand in mine and led her to the soft grass in front of the house. I sat down and brought her onto my lap. I felt her shaking in my arms as she put her hands around my neck, burying her face in my shirt.

She laughed and kind of snorted in the middle of crying. "Why are you consoling me, you're the one who just got…whatever'ed in there." She smiled sadly at me. "I never knew she was really like that." Spencer sighed into the air.

I had had a hunch that she was.

"No worries." I said lightly to her. I pressed my forehead to her temple, bringing my nose to nuzzle the side of her face. I shouldn't have initiated such intimate contact. It was selfish. But I just couldn't help myself. I didn't want Spencer to be sad. And I didn't want to be sad. Being with her like this, quietly, tenderly, made me happy. I could only hope it did for her too.

"Spence?" I asked tentatively.

Reading my mind, Spencer spoke strongly, the strongest I had heard her speak all night. "She won't keep me from seeing you."

I felt an internal wave of relief when she promised me this. I admit that there was a part of me that had feared that this might happen.

I wanted, needed, to know that what Spencer said would be true.

I didn't voice my insecurities though.

I just kept wiping hers away from her wonderfully gorgeous face.