Note: I'm really sorry for not updating Baroquen Heart in so long. My other story, Bleeding Heart, has been so successful, and i've basically been churning out ideas like candy. (Of course, not all of them are posted yet, but at least you won't have to wait long.) I'll admit, I don't have quite as much love for Baroquen Heart as I do Bleeding Heart, but the only reason why is because I think I might have made it a bit too corny by having the 'LSD Air' thing. I'm getting back to the real issues with Yuffie and Vinnie now.
Note 2: I realize that I am not finished with either Baroquen Heart or Bleeding Heart yet, but I would like your input on what kind of path I should take with my next story. Most likely, I may use all of these in the future, but i'd like to know which one you want to see first. I'm going to do one based around a character I haven't written much about yet, so here are the three ideas to choose from:
Idea 1- Sephiroth becomes a regular member of society and gets a job where he works the night shift practically by himself. However, he's not as 'alone' as he thought, because there's always the ghost of Aeris Gainsborough to keep him company.
Idea 2- Aeris Gainsborough has learned how to play the guitar, and is playing folk music at the coffee shops around town. One night, a strange visitor haunts Aeris in her sleep, leaving behind the lyrics to the perfect song. Unfortunately, these lyrics are not to be sung. They are clues to solving the biggest crime in the history of Midgar: The murder of Sarah Shinra, the daughter that President Rufus never knew he had.
Idea 3- The world is spinning out of control, and it all comes to rest on Cid's doorstep. It all starts when Reno and Sakura move in, and then everything goes haywire inside Cid's little cornfield. First, there's the visit by the 'Five Mysterious Maidens'. What could be weirder than five prophetic strangers? How about 'The Plowman', electrical impulses, and the strange cone growing in the field's center? (Every detail is important).
Chapter 8- Who's Your Mistress?
"Who's your mistress?"
"I'm not telling you, Yuffie."
"You have to tell me sometime, or I won't open the door!"
"Yuffie, come on. Let me in, please! I'm all itchy!"
"I can keep this up forever. Tell me who she is!"
"...Fine...You're too good for me, Yuffie...."
"...You're lying..."
"...My mistress is Elena..."
"...You're lying. That was too easy! You're just making up something so I'll let you in!"
"Yuffie, if it was Elena, you still wouldn't let me in."
"It's not, is it?"
"No."
"That's what I thought. In fact, I bet you it was probably some chick that I don't even know, right? Uh...Vinnie...are you still out there?"
Yuffie heard a door close behind her, and she realized that Vincent had simply gone through the back entrance.
"Okay, Yuffie. Where's my medicine?"
"It's on the kitchen sink."
___________________________________________
"So, Vinnie, I bet it looked like a giant fungus."
"Don't start with me. It was totally irresponsible to run away like that! You could have gotten hurt, or worse, something could have happened to him!...Wait, why are you looking at me like that?"
"This is Wutai, Vincent."
"So?"
"So you take off your shoes when you go inside. Here, put on these house slippers. It's Japanese tradition."
"Alright."
After Vincent had placed the dark-colored slippers on his feet, he queried, "Did you breathe the air?"
"A little. I think Hunter may have gotten a whiff too."
"Oh. Well, it's not as bad as I first thought. The news reports said that the load of acid that Rufus and Reno dumped was huge, but when it entered the air, it dissipated over the entire atmosphere. Basically, instead of having a small area of people going on a wild trip, we've got the whole world getting a dose that's barely strong enough to do anything."
"That's stupid."
"No...that's Reno."
"...And I've started seeing them."
"Who?"
"The guards, looking for you. They're coming to Wutai. I'd be thankful that the city has grown. At least now you can hide."
"I can't keep hiding when we've got Hunter to take care of!"
"It doesn't seem like you have much of a choice. The Soldier Guards will be in town by tomorrow. People might not know that you're back in town, but they know where you would go if you were."
"So what should we do?"
"Let's find another building. Do you have any acquaintances here?"
"Only one. There's a girl that I knew from my childhood. She owns a private library on the north side of the island, on the outskirts of town. Since it's private, it has huge living quarters for visitors. Maybe she'll let us stay there."
"That's good. Let's pack."
"I haven't unpacked anything."
"Good. We should be ready to go."
"Well, we do have extra space in our luggage. We can take a few things from my house to take with us."
"Like what?"
"My toothbrush."
"You didn't have it with you earlier?!"
"Not that one."
"Why on Gaia's green earth would you need two toothbrushes?"
"Uh...I guess I don't. But I want to take my photo album."
"The one that has all of those hot pregnancy pictures?"
"Vinnie, you're making me blush!"
"I have only eyes for you. You know that."
"Then who is your mistress?"
"I can't tell you."
"Darn it!"
"You know, honestly, I've never had a real tour of this place. Can you show me around?"
"Sure. Follow me."
Vincent followed Yuffie into the kitchen, where he found another set of slippers.
"Okay, Vin. Now you need kitchen slippers."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"No. Not at all. Anyway, this is the kitchen. It's small."
"I see that."
"Let's move on."
"Yuffie, is something bothering you?"
"Yes."
"What is it?"
"Duh."
"What?"
"It's a 'duh' moment. Of course something's bothering me. I've tried to handle things calmly, but you won't tell me who you're sleeping with!"
"She sees you when you're sleeping..."
"...She knows when you're awake?"
"That's right. She knows when you've been bad or good..."
"So you're sleeping with Santa's wife!? What the hell?!"
"No, it's a riddle."
"Oh....I suck at those."
"I know."
"Hey Vinnie..."
"Yes..."
"Do you ever think that maybe it might be in our best interest to let the Guards find us?"
"No. I've never thought that."
"But running was my plan."
"Now it's mine."
"Okay, cool. Follow me...Here's Hunter's bedroom. Put on the baby-room slippers....Here's the bathroom...bathroom slippers...Here's the walk-in closet...closet slippers."
"Good grief, Yuffie! How many different kinds of slippers do you have?!"
Yuffie burst out in laughter, leaving Vincent to wonder, "What's so funny?"
"They're all the same kind of slippers!"
"Like I said, what's so funny?"
"I don't know. Anyway, this is our bedroom...."
"Let me guess. Bedroom slippers."
"No. Take your shoes completely off. You're on holy ground."
"That's cute. I guess you want to save the travel for tomorrow morning."
"I have the clock set for 6 a.m."
"So we need to go sleep."
"No, I never said we had to do that."
"Are you thinking what i'm thinking?"
"Probably not."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm always up for kisses, but you're still all pimply down there! My symptoms are masked now, but you just now took your medicine. It takes time."
"Darn it."
"Tell me who your mistress is!"
"You know her."
"That doesn't help me any."
"You'll find out eventually. But maybe you're asking the wrong question."
"Yeah, that reminds me! Even if you won't tell me who, can you at least tell me why?"
"For the benefit of the Planet."
"Must be important."
"Must be."
"So if the world is coming to an end, you wouldn't tell your wife?"
"I would."
"Then tell me!"
"I'll leave you a clue while you're sleeping."
"Whatever. I guess that's progress."
"Besides, I thought you said that you had a twin here that you were baking cookies with."
"No. I just made that up to sound like I wasn't lonely."
"Well, it's noble of you to own up to it."
"Thank you, Vin.....wait.....Aw Gawd, the cookies!!!"
Yuffie ran into the kitchen as fast as she could, only to come back a minute later with a goofy look on her face.
"Silly me. I never had the stove turned on to start with!"
"Seriously?! You must have inhaled that air with all of your might!"
"Something like that."
"Oh well. Let's get some sleep."
"Yeah. I'm bushed anyway."
Yuffie and Vincent laid their heads down and closed their eyes. They were just about to drift off to sleep....when Hunter started crying.
"Yuffie, can you get that?"
"Why do I have to get it?"
"Because it's your boob that he wants, not mine."
"I swear, I'm keeping him on the bottle for good starting tomorrow."
"...But tonight, you feel like feeding your son the natural way, correct?"
"Sure. I'll give you some too, if you tell me who your mistress is."
"Alright."
"WAIT!!!...wait one blasted second! Are you telling me that out of all of the times I have tried to weasel the truth out of you, my chest is the one thing that will do the trick?...That's perverted!"
"Hey, you offered!"
"...Thinking you would decline it!"
"...Doesn't matter."
"If you insist."
Yuffie left to take care of Hunter. After a few minutes, Hunter quieted down and Yuffie came back into the bedroom with her chest still exposed.
"Alright, Vince. If you absolutely have to...but not the left one. That's Hunter's boob."
As Vincent placed his mouth to Yuffie's chest, she asked, "So, for the final time. Who's your mistress?"
"Aeris Gainsborough."
"WHAT THE HELL??!!"
"Now do you see its importance?"
"No, I don't."
"Believe it or not, I am a legendary being. Within my veins lies a quartet of blood types: human, vampire, mako, and cetra."
"And..."
"And I'm the only person on Earth that fits that category. There's an ancient Cetra parable that says something to the effect of 'The man who has deflowered immortality will be the key to Eden."
"I don't get it."
"Eden. It's from a really old book called the Bible."
"Never heard of it."
"Neither had I, until I researched it. Apparently, Eden was a garden of perfect bliss where all of its inhabitants must live in perfect harmony with the laws of God."
"So it's like, here's utopia, but you better be good or you're out of here? I don't think we could last."
"Trust me, Yuffie. It's a chance worth taking."
"I sure hope you're right."
"I am."
"Well, if you're finished with your bedtime snack, then I'm going to sleep. Goodnight Vince."
"Goodnight, Yuffie."
.......
".....But seriously! Aeris!!??"
"Lovely."
"Necro. Besides, how can you call another woman lovely?"
"Go to sleep."
"Answer me!"
"You're lovelier."
"That's not a word."
"I made it for you."
"Really?"
"Sure, Yuffie. Sure I did."
"Oh. Okay. Night."
"Night."