Note: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there will only be two more chapters after this one. I have a great idea for my next story, and I need to wind this one down. The only thing in the way of Vincent and Yuffie 'living happily ever after' is the birth of her second child, so I'll get through that and leave it be. My other story, Bleeding Heart, will have plenty of chapters to go, but I am starting on a plot twist that will bring the story to its eventual end. (Which is where Psych Heart begins.)

Sometimes I do wonder why this good 'romantic' story between Yuffie and Vincent can get only 700 hits and 20 reviews while my 'tell-all' autobiography of Tifa's sordid life gets 5600 hits and 50 reviews. Either way, I have enjoyed this story. Whereas Bleeding Heart is an exercise in sorrow and horrible decisions, Baroquen Heart has allowed me to showcase more of my humor. It wasn't as much of a success as my other stories, but I did enjoy this one.

Chapter 13- I only want what I can't have

As the first half of Yuffie's pregnancy flew by like sand in an hourglass, one thing became apparent: The two lovers needed a maid. With Vincent busy at work and Yuffie focused on Hunter, the couple placed advertisements in the local newspaper for a maid to do some chores and cleaning around the house.

Unfortunately, only one person sent in an application for the job. When Vincent scanned the application the first time, he saw that the lady's name was Jaynie. He hadn't yet made the connection in his mind by the time that she appeared in person for the interview.

When Jaynie entered the room, Vincent instantly spotted the needle marks on her arms and exclaimed, "Oh God! You're that woman from the convenience store!"

"In the flesh."

"I see you've added a few tattoos since the last time I saw you."

"…sure did."

Yuffie turned to Vince and queried, "Do you know this person?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

Vincent fiddled around with some of the papers in front of him before speaking.

"It says here that you have a criminal record."

"Yeah…breaking and entering, cocaine possession, assault, indecent exposure. You name it, I've done it…ten years ago. That record is so old. I've changed now. I'm a new woman."

"I see. It does say here that you have been drug free for 8 years."

"That's right. I do have prior experience at being a maid, from before I owned the store."

"I see that. You were a maid for 3 years. Impressive. Was that all with one family?"

"It sure was."

Yuffie tugged on Vincent's sleeve and whispered, "She's freaky!"

"Yes, but she's changed. She's all we've got."

"Jaynie, you're hired!"

"Oh, thank you! You won't regret it! I'll be the best maid ever, I promise!"

Vincent turned to Yuffie and said, "See? That went well."

Yuffie simply rolled her eyes.

At approximately 2:00 P.M., Yuffie was sitting on the couch, trying to read. Her pregnant belly wasn't huge yet, but it was big enough that Yuffie had to rest her book on top of it in order to read.

"Vince, I feel like a bloated whale that swallowed a mutant cow that ate one of those snakes that gulped a rat down whole."

"Wow, that's descriptive. You're only 6 months through. At the worst, you only look like you've swallowed a basketball."

"That's not entirely helpful. Anyway, I'm having a weird craving."

"But we just ate supper."

"I know. I'm still hungry for something that you're going to have to drive out and get."

"What's that?"

"Chocolate-Covered Chicken!"

"Yuffie, how is that even remotely healthy?"

"I don't care! I need it!!!"

"Alright! Fine."

Vince decided that the best place to start on his search for chocolate chicken would be McDonald's.

"Excuse me. Can I get some chocolate-covered chicken?"

The blonde-haired teenage girl behind the register began to chuckle. "You're kidding, right?"

Vincent stood silently with his eyes piercing into the register.

"Oh God, you're serious! Well, I guess we could run the chicken under the ice cream maker-thingy, but it's broken right now. Billy should be in any minute to deliver the part that we need to fix it."

As soon as the cashier had spoken, another employee came up behind her and corrected, "Actually, Billy quit this morning. We still need somebody to get that piece."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because we're all busy working."

"Oh."

The cashier kindly turned back around to Vincent and asked, "Would you be so kind as to run out and get this part for the ice cream machine? I promise that if you do this for us, you can have your meal for free."

"Why can't you guys get the part?"

"We're busy."

"What about the owner?"

Upon mention of the owner, the cashier turned around to her other co-workers and asked, "Do we have an owner?"

A voice to her left exclaimed, "I don't know! I've never seen him!"

Another voice in the back said, "I heard a rumor that we don't have an owner, and that somebody's placed an old mop in the owner's chair just to occupy it."

Vincent copied down the address of the repair shop and turned to leave.

"Sir, do you have a red valve for an Ice Cream Machine?"

The old man behind the desk looked visibly confused. "A red valve? Can you be a bit more specific? I don't know which part you're referring to."

"I have a sketch of it on this paper."

The cashier looked at it for a moment and said, "Kid, that's what almost all the valves look like in this place. I'm gonna need more detail. Now if you go to the library, I know that you can find a book that will help you."

"Alright."

When Vincent arrived at the library, the doors were locked. Apparently, the workers were on their hour-long lunch break, and there was nobody to cover the main desk. It was for the best anyway. Vincent's gas tank was running low.

By this time, Vincent had become very agitated and fidgety. It didn't exactly help that his car's engine started blowing smoke as he pulled into the gas station. Next stop: Autozone.

"I'm looking for an engine that will fit a 2004 Mitsubishi Spyder."

"Alright. That'll be $100."

"Uh…I don't have that much. I only have $90 on me right now."

"Oh. Well, I'll make you a deal. I'll shave ten bucks off the price if you walk down to the store and buy me a pack of cigarettes."

"Fine."

Great. Another naïve cashier.

"Sir, I'm going to have to see some ID."

"What!? Do I look 17 to you?"

"Sorry. I still need to see some ID."

When Vincent fumbled around with his wallet, he noticed something: his ID was missing. That meant something more horrible than all of these errands combined: Waiting in line at the DMV.

"So you need a new picture ID made, eh?"

"I guess so. You know, it took me 2 hours to get through that line. 2 hours!!!"

"I know. We've really increased our productivity. It used to be a 3 hour wait! Look at the plaque."

Behind the officer was a plaque that stated, 'We've really increased our productivity. It used to be a 3 hour wait!'

"Okay, say cheese!"

"Cheese!"

So Vincent had his ID. He took it to the store and bought the cigarettes. He went to the auto store and bought the engine. He popped the hood and….

RING!!!!

It was Yuffie on the phone.

"Hey, Vince! What's taking you so long?! It's 5 o'clock already! Is it that hard?"

"No. I'm almost done, I promise. I'll be home in time for supper."

"You better be."

Vincent placed his cellphone in his pocket and got to work installing the engine. That in itself took 40 minutes.

After the car started working, Vince took it to get some gas. He then headed to the library, where it took him another 20 minutes to research the part he needed.

"I found out what it is. It's a bolt-conductor cream valve."

"Okay. Here you go. That'll be $1."

"It's about time. You took long enough."

"Whatever here's your valve."

"Thank you."

The cashier placed the part in the machine, and it fit like a glove. She then placed the chicken under the ice cream machine and started pouring.

Needless to say, it looked like crap.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Sure."

When Vincent got home, the first thing that he saw made him very aggravated. Jaynie was in the kitchen, eating chocolate-covered chicken.

"Where did you get that!?"

"I made it. I have a homemade recipe. Didn't you know?"

"I hate my life."

When Vincent placed the meal in front of Yuffie, she replied, "Took you long enough."

"Sorry."

Yuffie then proceeded to gulp down the fries like a madman, and she ignored the chicken entirely.

"Are you not going to eat your chicken?"

"No. I don't want it anymore."

"That figures."