Chapter 27
~ Heart to heart ~
Elsa stood alone on the balcony overlooking the kingdom. The mountains were dark under a navy blue sky, streaks of purple danced across the early morning skies and a chilly wind blew past the Queen. As she looked upon the drear world she ruled over. A small place where fear ran wild and magic made the impossible reality. The Queen closed her eyes, a few tears ran from her face. The protection and well being of the citizens living in Arendelle was supposed to be her job. In the past few months she had done a horrible job of it.
Terrorizing citizens, making example out of people. Memories came flooding back mixing in with new ones. Pounding in her head like a terrible migraine just waiting to feel relief. The stress levels had gotten to her in the last few days, and now was just one of those times she wished that being Queen was someone else's job.
Elsa stayed outside for a long time watching as the light filled the air taking over the darkness. Colors of pink and orange now filled the sky taking over from the dark purple that was once there. Stars disappeared and the moon left making way for the sun.
"Elsa! Thank goodness I've been looking for you forever!" A cheerful voice came from inside the castle. Anna stepped out on the balcony with her sister. But the Queen did not reply to her younger sibling instead he remained silent. Still as a statue, not bothering to even acknowledge her sisters presence.
Anna scrunched her face in confusion and took one of Elsa's hands. "Elsa?" she called speaking with concern. "Elsa is there something wrong?" The Princess asked trying to establish eye contact with her elder sibling. But Elsa did not even reply to this, she remained stoic looking out at her kingdom. The Princess sighed deeply and walked so that she was right in front of the Queen. Taking her sisters other hand Anna began with a deep breath.
"Elsa, you've been out here for hours, please tell me if something is bothering you." Anna explained noticing her sister had been crying. The Queen got very sad when she was under too much stress and Anna knew that Elsa had a lot to deal with at the moment. She knew Elsa had lost sleep over things, and even though the recent arranged marriage to Price Erynn had brought extra resources into Arendelle. Elsa barely touched her food.
"Elsa." Anna breathed out trying to express her concern. "I know you're stressed, but I'm worried for your well being. You must take care of yourself." She looked slightly upwards Elsa had now made eye contact with her, but she didn't speak a single word to the younger royal. Anna relinquished some of the tension on her grasp. Slowly pulling her hands away from her sisters.
The Princess looked down a moment and a few tears fell from her eyes. "Oh Elsa, everything will be okay, why can't you realize that?" Anna mumbled sadly and began walking away from her sister.
"Anna wait." Elsa called when the Princess was already inside she turned around and began walking in the direction of her sister. "Anna please, I'm... I'm just so stressed, there's the wedding and the attacks, council meetings, the Royal Court, the distribution of resources to the families of Arendelle." Elsa breathed out shaking her head slightly the stress was really getting to her.
"We always get through it, I know we will. Every time one of us has been in a difficult place." Anna paused taking a moment to hold both of the Queen's hands again. "We always solve it together and I will be here for you, through everything. There is nothing I won't do for you Elsa, you know that." Anna looked into her sisters teary eyes with a soft smile.
"It's been a hard year for Arendelle Anna, since I've been Queen everything has gone wrong. First I send the kingdom into an Eternal winter, I put your life in danger. I nearly died myself, and as a result you're life was in peril again. We don't have any idea who did this, nor who is leading this movement against us. I'm supposed to be married in a short time and-"
"Elsa." Anna cut her off noticing snow falling around them. "Stress and worry don't solve anything, I know we can get through this. Start with one problem and don't stop until everything is solved, instead of thinking of everything, look at one problem at a time."
Exhaling slowly Elsa began to speak. "Anna." she started in a hushed tone. "I honestly do not know where I would be today without you. You are the reason I've gotten through so much." Elsa paused. "You give me hope." The Queen teared up and held her sister tightly wrapping her small pale arms around The Princess' tiny frame.
Anna hugged her sister back. "That's what sisters are for Elsa, we give each other hope. There is always hope for a brighter future we just have to work together to make it happen and sometimes it's a little more difficult than it was intended to be."
Anna had been so worried about Elsa at least now she knew the thoughts and problems that were troubling her sister. She knew about all the stress that came along with being in charge of a kingdom and making sacrifices for the good of everyone.
"Elsa, from now on if you are having a difficult time with anything please ask me for help. I love you, and I want nothing more than to be here for you when you need it most."
Elsa was astounded at how her younger sister was able to handle things with such maturity, and she admired her willingness to do anything for the people she loves. "Anna." Elsa looked directly at her. "I am so proud of you, sometimes I wish you were the Queen instead of me, I wonder about it every night. If it would have been different."
"Elsa, you're a wonderful Queen and I love being a Princess. I wouldn't want my life any other way." the Princess stated with a cheerful tone. "You have made so many sacrifices for Arendelle, some I do not even know If i could make had I been faced with those choices."
"They aren't my choices Anna, I have to do it. If I did not accept the marriage offer, people here would have died..." Elsa paused Exhaling softly and walking over to a couch sitting down and folding her hands in her lap. "And all of it would have been my fault."
Anna shook her head Elsa had been under much more stress than she should be but her continued self pity had begun to set her sister on edge. "Enough Elsa! Enough of thinking everything that goes wrong it your fault!" the Princess breathed out. "Please! Elsa you have to know that some things are out of your control. Just stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time!"
The Queen looked up at the angered Princess and shook her head slightly. "Those attacks never should have happened." Elsa replied. "I Should have been more concerned with the people of Arendelle than my own safety..."
"Elsa it isn't your fault you were attacked and got sick, it's not your fault the magic you have is unstable. Please stop feeling so bad. It breaks my heart to see you in such pain." Anna told her, sitting next to the Queen on the small couch. "I love you Elsa, you're the only family I have, and when you're sad it hurts me too."
"Anna? I'm supposed to be the Queen." Elsa cried her breathing growing unsteady. "I'm supposed to protect people."
"You've protected me." Anna smiled changing her position to look into her sisters eyes. "You risked your life to find me." Anna reminded holding Elsa's hands. "You've done so much for me Elsa... If you weren't here, if you weren't the Queen. I don't know what I would do."
Elsa sighed wiping away tears from her face. "You'd get by, you've done so much for me." The Queen paused sniffling softly. "You risked your life for me many times and I know if anything would ever happen to me, you would make a beautiful Queen." She smiled looking right at her sister.
"You say that to me all the time." Anna giggled smiling back. "But you know what I've never heard you say once? Not even once have you told me you were proud of something you've done, Elsa you only remember the terrible things you've done, the things that have gone wrong." Anna explained. "You never tell me about what you think you are doing right."
The Princess' face grew from cheery to a more compassionate expression. "Believe in yourself Elsa, you've done so many things for Arendelle." Anna told her gazing into her sisters teary eyes she spoke with such compassion it only made the Queen cry even harder.
"Anna, I've failed..." Elsa began in a worried done, her breathing unstable as she tried to catch her breath from all the sobbing.
"You brought back summer, you saved me Elsa, you solved so many issues involving the recent attacks. You choose to get married to save Arendelle from starvation and you proved you had the courage to apologize to your kingdom." Anna breathed out in a tone of astonishment. "Elsa." She started softly keeping a tight hold on both the Queens hands. "You, are an amazing Queen and do not let anybody tell you otherwise." The Princess finished.
For a while the two girls sat in silence just being beside her sister seemed to make Elsa feel better and for a little while The Queen was able to forget about all the stress that had been weighing her down. Anna moved closer to Elsa and put an arm around her. "Don't be afraid that you aren't good enough for anyone else. As long as you are confident it what you are doing, nobody's opinion really matters."
To this the Queen didn't reply. "I'm not afraid Anna, I just don't want to disappoint people." Elsa breathed softly her voice barely a whisper if Anna had been any farther away it probably would have been inaudible.
"Elsa, you have never disappointed me, I am so proud of what you've done." Anna told her breathing softly In and out. The Princess bit her lip and closed her eyes in thought she had never seen her sister like this and was unsure of what to say.
"Anna, I let you sit in that horrible underground prison for months, when I should have focused more on you, and less on hurting people!" Elsa snapped raising her voice.
The Princess shifted further from her sister. Her eyes watered slightly and she hung her head low letting tears fall from her eyes. "Why won't you let this go! Why won't you leave it in the past! You keep holding onto your bad memories Elsa you are letting fear and guilt rule your life."
Elsa stood from the couch and moved towards her sister she knelt on the floor and took Anna's wrists moving her hands from her face. "Anna, I can't let it go, I can't just throw away the past everything I've done isn't going to go away and I need to fix it."
Anna pulled away. "You have fixed it Elsa! You found me and you apologized to Arendelle! You agreed to get married just stop with all this self pity! I want my sister back" The Princess raised her voice almost yelling. Her strong tone filled the air and Elsa stood and stepped back. Her heart dropped as she set her gaze upon Anna.
"I'm not going to ask you again Elsa, you don't seem to want to talk me."
The Princess stood and headed for the door her sister just wouldn't rest. Elsa blamed herself for everything, and Anna had enough of it, just as she thought she was getting somewhere with the conversation. Elsa had to bring up her failures again.
"Anna wait." Elsa spoke up as her sister put a hand on the doorknob. The Queen walked over to her and stood in front of her sister so she couldn't leave. "I know Its upsetting to hear all of this. That I'm not proud of anything I've done. But Anna I'm just so devastated and right now I can't see the light. I don't know what I'm doing and..." Elsa breathed. "I'm terrified."
Anna sighed deeply and put her hands on her sisters shoulders. "You have nothing to be afraid of Elsa, I know you're having a hard time I get that you're scared but no matter what happens I am always here for you. I will help you, all you have to do is tell me what you really feel." Anna smiled and Elsa forced one of her own. Through all the fear and stress, she reached out and hugged her sister tightly for the longest time.
"I love you Anna, I don't know what I would do without you." Elsa whispered softly.
"I love you too, Elsa."