A/n: This is the final chapter, but it is spit into p1 and 2. Part 2 will be up soonish. It got verrrry long.

"Carrie, you need to tell me."

"I'll come myself," she says. And for some reason saying it out loud feels so good.

Saul sighs. He knows it's completely unrealistic, but also knew it was at least possibility if he called her that she would try. The carrot would dangle in a way. "I don't think that it's a good idea Carrie. In fact, I'm telling you it's a no."

He's telling her what she's already thinking, but she has to. She has to go there one last time and see the world she's leaving behind, properly. It had been so abrupt and unfair. If it's how she thinks she remembers, when she returns back home, she'll absolutely know that she made the right decision. And there's still that chance that everything there will be better, they'll need her, and she'll never know if she doesn't go now. No one will even realize she's gone.

"It's tricky Saul. I hid them. I'm the only one that can get to them," her manipulation begins. She refuses to tell him.

"Just tell me Carrie. There's no chance of me sponsoring a trip for you. Let it go."

"I don't care. I'll call you when I land."

"Carrie! Carrie! Damnit!"

"I've been thinking about you," he says in a voice that he only uses with her.

"Me too," she says back. But there's no weight to it even though she is. She's actually been thinking about him all night which is why talking to him while he's 500 miles away is making it worse.

"What wrong?" He knows.

"Nothing," her voice is so sweet this time that he wants to believe her.

"Do you want me come down now? I can leave today."

"No, no."

"Are you sure?"

She closes her eyes finally taking in that she is flat-out lying to him. "Yeah."

It's quiet, only the sound of each others breaths are heard. He fidgets with the application of his new apartment, close to Maggie's house, not wanting to complete it until she's back home. To maybe do something together - eventually.

"Well there's one thing."

"What? What is it?" Is spiraling and he has to know. Her well being finding the slot as his top priority.

"I'm going to be here a few more days than I thought. Okay?"

He pouts and knows she can't see him, but doesn't want to deflect any negative energy anymore.

"Just feel better," he smiles, knowing that she knows he is. It amazes him that something like that was possible.

"I will... and thank you, for everything Quinn. I mean it."

His humble self doesn't want to hear this from her. In ways she saved him more than he had saved her that day. He's acclimating like he never thought he could, all because she brought him home - no matter how bittersweet. Like a sweet catastrophe.

"You don't have to say that Carrie."

"I want to."

He sits a second, just content knowing she's on the other line. "Um... Carrie?" His voice gets softer.

"Yeaaah?"

He sounded nervous, but now she does too.

"I uh..."

She waits in agony for his words. Why can't he form them?

"I can't wait to see you," he mutters.

She exhales, not sure if she could handle being told something else.

"I'll see you soon Quinn. Give Franny a kiss for me, okay?"

"I will."

"Call me when you're on your way?"

"Yeah." On the way? He can't fathom not talking to her for that long.

"Bye."

"Bye."

She stares around at her at the empty room, feeling guilty about what she's doing. No one will understand - except for maybe Saul. Once she's there he'll be fine with it too and the familiarity will come into play and she'll fix the mess she made, fix it all.

She's feeling good right now, better than before. Even if it's just for a few days, she'll get her fix. That one last thrill before her life - the life she wants - then head into uncharted territory. Just one more time.

Once again the plane is bumpy and she can't sleep. Her palm full of pills looks anything but an option right now, but they're needed. She's absolutely convinced that they'll come right back up if she even tries. Quinn's heavy meals and wine would be downright perfect at this moment to stomach them, Franny's smile would remind her of why it's so important. The satallites that continue to orbit, the kept her going.

The shooting pains become unbearable, and she forces herself to swallow them knowing that there's a pain killer somewhere in there. Food's not exactly ideal given it's a commercial flight, but she eats in anyway to keep it all down. She has to find some sort of sleep in order to focus, her own focus.

Nothing helps. She's still wide awake and it's not the pain or the plane. She misses home, she misses them. The first trip that she actually has.

"Why'd ya come," Saul says under his breath. "Come here."

He can't help but be happy she's here and even more so can't believe the progress she made, but she shouldn't have come now. All she needs to do is tell him where it is, nothing more.

His arms wrap around her feeling how fragile she is, how weak her embrace feels. It's almost like she's relying on him for support and if he lets go, she'll fall right to the floor. She pulls back slowly to explain her immediate needs.

"I'm tired Saul."

"Come on. I got a room for you."

"I already have one," she says.

"Of course you do."

"Saul I've got to lay down now," she admits.

"I'll drive you."

Quinn's getting impatient now. He walks around aimlessly, no plans in mind. Not until she's home when everything he's put together can just fit piece by piece.

He wants to call her, but it won't be the same as seeing her. It's when he sees her that everything that's happened all makes sense. That he knows he's exactly where he needs to be and that he's never wanted anything or anyone more. He doesn't believe in fate, he just happened to get lucky. It was always luck from the beginning and it's still going. What a streak.

It's a whole day before she recuperates. The unexpected toll that it's taken on her body had been entirely overlooked. She's mostly surprised that Saul hasn't bothered her yet.

It's a fantastic room she's in. Unbeknownst to the government, they've been paying for it for the past six months and still have another month to go. All written off on her expense report as food and clothing. Her past of denial.

She'd keep a lot of a stuff in here. The things she didn't want people to see; her notes, the private asset list that Saul wants, a few personal items. She knows for a fact that if anyone but herself had recovered these items that she'd be done with them for good. An open window in the company is vital, just in case, her purge.

She'd even brought Aayan here, before he found her out. He'd seen the pictures of her family that she'd left up and asked about them. It's nauseating to think that it'd only been days after her father's funeral and she must have been solely thinking about herself. It's hazy mostly, but the pit of her soul is letting her remember that is was exactly that.

The tears form as she takes each one of them out of their frames and takes a hard look at them, so much more valuable than that list across the room. She doesn't dare cry for herself, only tears for them. It's home where she needs to be. There's nothing left for her here. Probably nothing she can knows this now.

'Carrie, it's me Saul. Can you pick up your damn phone.'

'Carrie just let me know where it is, please. Call me back.'

Saul leaves a few messages, but it's like she's not even there, like she's somewhere else. When she's done, she eventually checks her phone again praying that Saul has called so she can just get out of there.

"Saul, I have it."

"Where are you?"

"Same place."

"It was there the whole time!?"

"I want to leave Saul! I want... I want to go home."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Keep your damn phone on you!"