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... Hi. :)
Considering writing a short epilogue. Thoughts?
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Give Me All Your Love
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PART THREE
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The first time he had been alone in a room with Asuma was after Naruto escaped to find the bathroom because the milk he drank earlier that morning had expired without his knowledge. He had been content to wait for Naruto against the wall, not daring to take any steps closer to the crib that housed the newborn Asuma. But then the baby had started to cry a little, and it surprised him. His shoulders tensed, beads of sweat formed on his head. He looked frantically to the door, hoping someone would come in and figure out what was wrong with Asuma so that he didn't have to. But when the seconds passed and no one came in, Sasuke looked nervously at the crib.
He wasn't good with babies. No, that was a lie.
He was terrible with babies.
The crying got louder, and Sasuke became progressively more nervous. He cautiously approached the crib, peering into it and watching Asuma and the big fat tears dripping down the chubby newborn's face. The Uchiha grimaced. Sakura had this weird idea that babies were always cute, and Sasuke could agree that sometimes they looked… tolerable. But it was events like this that made Sasuke wonder what was so great about babies.
He didn't want to carry it. What if he dropped the thing? But every time it cried, Ino or Sakura always picked it up and rocked it back to sleep. Sasuke tensed up, his hands coming to rest on the sides of the crib. He was mildly surprised when the crib swung towards him, realizing that it doubled as a rocker. Lady Luck smiled upon him in that moment, because when the crib moved, Asuma stopped crying.
Instead, the baby was now looking at him with those wide eyes of his, face still wet with tears and mucus.
Sasuke cleared his throat unsurely, and then tried to rock the crib. At first, he did it too hard, and it sent Asuma rolling around (which was actually quite amusing for the little baby). Freaking out briefly at the overuse of force, Sasuke dialled his strength back and tried again once Asuma had rolled onto his back. This time the motion was slow and gentle, and Asuma made little happy gurgling noises, making Sasuke's face soften. From there, it only took a few more minutes of gentle rocking for Asuma to fall asleep, and in the silence of that sleep, Sasuke had his first opportunity to wonder at the baby's existence.
Naruto was right. Babies were tiny. Asuma's fingers were so, so small. And it was crazy to think that once, he had been like that too, so small and fragile. His mouth curved into a smile, just a hint of one, and he looked down at Asuma as the baby slept on.
"Naruto's in the bathroom?"
Sasuke jolted up, looking at the doorway where Ino stood looking at him. She walked to the crib, covering Asuma with the blanket that had been upset in Sasuke's trial-and-error rocking. She cooed at him a little bit, his tiny fingers unconsciously grabbing at her larger one in his sleep. Sasuke felt frozen, unable to move as Ino watched Asuma sleep. It was almost as if he was just another piece of furniture in the room, and even when he felt he could move again, he didn't, because that meant breaking the spell cast over him.
For once, Sasuke was at peace.
"You did good," Ino said.
She didn't say anything else; she just smiled. Sasuke would remember that smile for days and days to come, sequestered between Naruto and Sakura at Ichiraku Ramen, walking casually down the street with Kakashi-sensei, sitting alone in his spacious yet sparse apartment. He would never know why, but her smile would haunt him, until finally…
"Sasuke? O-oh," Sniffling; the grass rustling as the figure stood up, back turned, the moonlight creeping on her silhouette. "W-what are you doing up so late? Don't you have a curfew?"
"Hn."
A laugh. A real one. Hearing it made everything warm.
"How nostalgic," Tears on her face, a smile through the pain. "Come on, I'll walk you back."
Soft winds. The sound of dirt crunching. An air of silence. The watery residue of pain on her pale face.
Somehow, they were all beautiful.
The earliest time that Asuma could remember Sasuke was when he was visiting his father's gravestone with Ino-nee-chan. He was about two years old, possibly close to three. Mama was on a mission for a few days that took her outside Konohagakure, and she asked Ino-nee-chan to watch him for that time. Asuma remembered going shopping with nee-chan in the marketplace and seeing the incense sticks his mama bought when they visited papa. Recognizing them had made him want to see his father, and he had begged and pleaded and cried with nee-chan until she finally gave in. She bought the incense sticks and, with a bit of hesitation, they both traveled to his father's grave, Ino holding his hand the whole time.
Mama had taught him how to pray at the stone and how to insert the incense gently into the earth, leaving the stick there to burn away. He repeated this same ritual with Ino-nee-chan, who seemed melancholy as she stared at his papa. Asuma understood that papa was different before, and nee-chan and mama and everyone else had seen him before he had become a grave, but this was all he knew of his namesake. No one really talked about his father in front of him; they would not until he was much older.
When they cleaned up the gravestone a little bit and were getting ready to leave, that was when they both spotted Sasuke in the same cemetery. When Asuma had spotted him, he smiled a great big smile and sped towards the pale figure, who was mildly surprised when Asuma knocked into his leg.
"Sasu-nii-chan!" He exclaimed, smiling toothily up at the former renegade. Sasuke looked blankly down at him, but his larger hand had rested on Asuma's head, ruffling it gently. Asuma knew that Sasu-nii-chan was always a man of few words, but his hand was big and warm, and Asuma liked that.
"Sasuke!" Ino-nee-chan exclaimed from behind him, but with a milder tone. "I didn't expect to see you here." Sasuke simply shrugged, but his eyes were piercing while directed at Ino-nee-chan. "We were just visiting Su-kun's daddy," she said. Sasuke had already guessed that was why they were in the cemetery, but people tended to state everything they were doing because of his lack of reply to everything. And Ino was always good at talking a lot.
"We finish!" Asuma said. "Sasu-nii-chan finish?" Sasuke took one more look at the gravestone of his mother and father, and then nodded. Asuma grabbed his hand excitedly, tugging him to the exit of the cemetery. "Takoyaki now!" he shouted. "Takoyaki! Takoyaki! Takoyaki!" He jumped every time he said "takoyaki", making a bit of a spectacle. Ino hushed him, a bit embarrassed.
"Su-kun, Sasuke probably has things to do," she said. "We should let him do them—"
"I'm free."
Ino looked at Sasuke in surprise, hardly expecting him to voluntarily join the two of them for street food. But he looked quite serious about it, and let Asuma lead him out of the cemetery. Ino hurried after them, still a bit taken back. "Are you sure?" she asked him, but he didn't bother to answer. Ino didn't press him, and Asuma was happy all the same.
The first time Asuma remembered seeing Sasu-nii-chan smile was that same day. Ino-nee-chan was berating Asuma about eating his takoyaki sloppily, using a small handkerchief to wipe his face. Sasu-nii-chan stood behind her, watching her face with the barest hint of a smile. When she turned around to look at Sasuke, she became even angrier. "You too?!" she had shouted, zeroing in on the small sauce stain at the corner of Sasuke's mouth. Without even thinking about it, Ino-nee-chan immediately began wiping it away, muttering under her breath about the eating habits of boys.
Asuma thinks it was that moment when his two-year old self had begun shipping Sasu-nii-chan and Ino-nee-chan in his head.
Ino was quite befuddled at the strange liking Su-kun had taken to Sasuke. Ever since they had run into him at the cemetery while visiting Asuma-sensei, Su-kun was adamant about seeing him every day. The first two times, Ino figured it didn't do any harm. But Su-kun kept asking and asking, and Ino was sure that Sasuke must be annoyed at how many times the two of them bothered him. She had tried to explain to Su-kun why they couldn't see Sasuke every day, but the two-year old was stubborn.
"Want see Sasu-nii-chan!" he'd always shout and cry and yell. And it was in the most inconvenient of places, like the market or in a public, crowded area. Every time, Ino had to give in to him, lest the people around her burned holes in her back from their deathly glares.
The door opened, and Sasuke looked at her, then down at Asuma. He stepped aside to let them into his apartment. Ino shot him an apologetic look as Asuma bounded inside, squealing happily. Sasuke merely closed the door behind her.
"Sasu-nii-chan! TB!" Asuma said. He meant the television, which was promptly turned on at his request. Sasuke had some pretty nice things, no doubt a result of the fortune he inherited from his clan. Ino had been in his apartment several times now at Asuma's insistence, but nothing in his apartment surprised her anymore. Naruto came by every so often, and the first time he saw Ino there he had been surprised, but soon learned her presence was at Asuma's insistence.
"Sorry again about this, Sasuke," Ino said, and Sasuke grunted in reply. He went into the kitchen, no doubt to fix a small snack for Asuma. Ino lingered awkwardly in the entrance of his home, unsure of what to do. She really needed to convince Asuma to stop coming over so often. It was definitely burdensome to Sasuke. But he looked so happy sitting in front of the huge television, clapping his hands to some children's show. And Sasuke came out of the kitchen holding a plate of cheese and crackers, joining Asuma on the couch. He piled a piece of cheese on top of a cracker and hand-fed it to Asuma, who munched loudly and happily on his snack.
Ino watched the interaction and wondered if perhaps she was wrong about bothering Sasuke. The way he gently took care of Asuma made her think that maybe he enjoyed being with Asuma. The little boy was, of course, oblivious to Sasuke's history and that was probably refreshing to the man who was constantly monitored by the people in the village. Everyone doubted him. Everyone suspected he would turn again. But to be next to a child of innocence, to not have to feel that suspicion and hate from another person must be… freeing, Ino thought.
So that day, she gave in. Each and every time Asuma asked to play with 'Sasu-nii-chan,' Ino complied without protest. And as a result, she and Sasuke became friends.
Kind of.
"Shikamaru, I need green onions! Go to the market for me!"
His mother could be quite annoying all the time. He and his father had learned very long ago to always give in to her demands. Arguing with her often took more effort than it was worth, and that was how Shikamaru found himself kicked out of his familial home and refused entry until he bought his mother green onions from the market. Troublesome.
Despite moving out already, Shikamaru often visited his parent's home for no other reason than as a Nara; he had a duty to the Clan. His father had told him that even if he moved out, he still had obligations to the clan, to take care of the deer and other such things like that. So Shikamaru found himself venturing home far more than he would have liked after moving out. His mother was, of course, perfectly fine with this arrangement. It meant she still had her extra mule to send out on errands.
Shikamaru eyed the bunch of green onions he'd picked up in his hand. He learned a long time ago that simply grabbing a random bunch from the pile was not a good idea. There was usually a seventy-five percent chance that whatever bunch he randomly picked would not be to his mother's satisfaction, and it would most likely get his ears yelled off. As a result, Shikamaru spent one solid minute scrutinizing the second bunch of green onions he'd picked to make sure they weren't rotting or anything like that, before deciding they would do and turning around to make his way to the cashier.
What he ended up doing, however, was hiding behind a produce stand and peering out to see if the woman at the strawberry cart was really Ino. (As per his usual luck, it ended up being Ino. Not Sakura, or Chouji, or Naruto, or some other friend he had. It was Ino.)
He hadn't talked to her… not since that day. He hadn't talked to anyone about that day either. It would be embarrassing and shameful to admit that after… after she…
He ran. He ran like the coward he was. He couldn't – can't – face her properly to talk about… how she felt about him. It was awful and he felt awful, but the fear he had about that conversation made it difficult to approach her. To ever think that Ino… for him… it seemed like a joke. For a second, he thought it really was one. But then he'd looked at her eyes, and how sad they were. It wasn't the sadness that struck him though. It was the resignation; the acceptance.
She already knew what he would say. It was painted all over his face.
He loved Ino. He loved her as surely as he loved Chouji and Su-kun. But to be in love with her?
She picked up a batch of strawberries, peering closely at them. The concentration on her face was rather comical. She seemed okay, Shikamaru thought. There was no trace of sadness on her face, but he knew not to be fooled. Ino was very good at hiding her emotions. There were times in the past when she had been mad at him for weeks and he'd never known. Ignorance truly was bliss, he thought. He kind of wished he still had that luxury of ignorance.
Should he approach her? Did he really want to have some kind of confrontation in the middle of the grocery store? She hadn't noticed him yet; he could easily slip out and continue to avoid her. But he wasn't a kid anymore. He couldn't just keep running away from his problems. She was there, and she seemed to be in a good mood. Perhaps there was a reason for their being in the same grocery story on the same day, at the same time. Maybe this was divine intervention telling him, "Go talk to her and sort everything out."
Maybe he should say something.
He resolved to stand up in that moment, to catch her attention with his sudden movement and strike the proverbial ice. But then he heard it. That name.
"Sasuke."
Shikamaru peered out from behind the produce stand and Uchiha Sasuke was standing next to Ino, holding a box of strawberry pocky in one hand and chocolate pocky in another. His expression was as it always was; apathetic. But the way he stood in front of Ino, presenting the two different types of pocky, made Shikamaru wonder if perhaps he looked slightly more like a child that way.
"What's wrong?" Ino asked when she saw the pocky in his hands.
"Asuma," Sasuke clearly and simply said. Ino smiled. Shikamaru frowned.
"He likes both, so just pick one," she told him. Sasuke looked down at the two packages of pocky and then looked back at Ino.
"Hn." He put both packages in Ino's shopping cart. Ino laughed, and Shikamaru grit his teeth.
Shikamaru stayed crouched beside the produce stand until he saw the two Rookie Nine shinobi exiting the store. His head was whirling with the new information. He was wrong, then, about Ino's feelings for him. That… what she did that night was just… spur of the moment, then. Maybe he looked like Sasuke under the moonlight. Maybe she couldn't see him at all and just pretended. Whatever the reason, Shikamaru didn't care. This meant that everything could go back to normal. Ino didn't have feelings for him; she always carried one for her old flame.
Shikamaru was happy for her. He was. She gave Sasuke a bit of her heart and surprisingly, he gave back.
Asuma really liked Sasu-nii-chan's television. It was so big, and the colours were much more vibrant than his television at home. The couch was really comfy too, and Sasu-nii-chan let him eat his favourite snacks on it. Mama didn't let him do that at home. So Asuma really liked visiting Sasu-nii-chan. He didn't say a lot, but he willingly played horsey with Asuma around the apartment, and never reprimanded him for anything. Asuma thought that he was a bit like Cho-nii-san that way, how the both of them would give him whatever he wanted. Cho-nii-san was a bit goofier though, and he was comfier to sleep on.
Regardless, Asuma liked Sasu-nii-chan.
Today they were out at the market because Asuma had wanted takoyaki from the food vendor near Ichiraku Ramen. Asuma knew the ramen stand because dobe-nii-san had taken him there before with Hina-nee-chan. He had gotten frustrated when he couldn't properly eat his ramen, and Hina-nee-chan had to help him. (It had become a small life goal for him to learn to eat ramen without any help.) There were some pairs of feet that Asuma could see inside Ichiraku, but he didn't know if any of the feet belonged to his aunties or uncles. He didn't think on it too long because Sasu-nii-chan handed him a small set of takoyaki, and he grasped excitedly at it.
"Sasuke, make sure it's not too hot for him," Ino told Sasuke as he knelt to feed Asuma. Sasuke only mildly nodded, testing the takoyaki by poking at it with his finger. The three of them didn't notice Naruto, Shikamaru, and Chouji approaching them from the direction of Ichiraku. Only Asuma noticed, and he smiled widely when he caught sight of that familiar orange jacket.
"Dobe-nii-san!" he exclaimed. Naruto twitched angrily.
"Naruto!" he said, pointing insistently at his own face. "Call me Naruto!"
Asuma smiled wider. He reached up to the blonde-haired ninja with his little arms. "Dobe-nii-san!" Naruto's eyebrow twitched once more before he reached down to scoop Asuma in his arms for a hello hug. From over Naruto's shoulder, Asuma smiled brightly at Chouji and Shikamaru. He waved at them, and they both ruffled his hair in greeting. Naruto set him down, and he took his takoyaki from Sasuke.
"So!" Naruto started loudly, smirking at Ino and Sasuke. "You two are together again. Are you on a date?"
Asuma smiled cheerfully up at Naruto, not realizing that his question had partially been a joke. "Yeah!" the little boy exclaimed, not noticing the shocked looks decorating everyone's faces. "No-nee-chan and Sasu-nii-chan give heart!"
Naruto and Sasuke were confused by the strange declaration but Team Ten tensed up, remembering that day on the hill. Ino began blushing wildly, covering her face with her hand and refusing to look at Sasuke. Chouji was confused, staring at his teammate and then at Naruto's teammate, wondering if perhaps Asuma spoke the truth. Shikamaru was clenching his fist in his pocket, staring intensely at the two of them. It was unclear what emotion he was really feeling. His face betrayed nothing, but the trembling of his fist said other things.
Sasuke betrayed no emotion, as was in his character, but he didn't seem embarrassed at all. Not even slightly annoyed. Naruto should have been the only person able to draw emotions from Sasuke, but this time he remained resolute, as hard as stone. "What do you want dobe?" he asked. Naruto pouted; he was annoyed that Sasuke was ignoring his question and was completely unfazed by it.
"Got something to hide, teme?" he said, persistent. He was hoping that if he poked enough, he could get a reaction. Sasuke just made his trademark uninterested sound, turning to Ino. By this time, steam was starting to come out of her ears because her face was so hot. Sasuke noticed how she was trying so hard to avoid one of her teammate's eyes. It made something in him twitch, and he decided something had to be done. Watching her like that was… not something he wanted to see, he realized. So he called her name.
"Ino."
Her head whipped up so fast, an ironic deer-in-headlights expression on her face. She looked a bit like a doll, her blue eyes wide with surprise, lips parted just slightly. He used her moment of vulnerability to his advantage, saying, "Let's go," taking Asuma's hand and walking off in the direction of his apartment. Her surprise froze her in place for just half a second, before she ran off to join him. Asuma was waving to Naruto, Chouji, and Shikamaru.
"Bye bye!" he said.
Shikamaru didn't expect the strange feeling that welled up in his chest as he saw them walk away together. At first, he didn't know what this feeling was. He'd felt it before when he had been much younger, but blocked the emotion out because it was simply too troublesome to deal with. Shikamaru had forgotten this feeling because he hadn't felt it in a long time, and when he finally realized what it was, it was almost unbelievable. But it was there, and it was making his fingers curl up into his palms.
Ino stumbled a bit when Asuma tottered into her leg, and the way Sasuke's hands reached out to steady her, pale skin against pale skin, made Shikamaru irrationally jealous.
"You wanted to see me?"
"Ah, Shikamaru."
Tsunade put her cup of sake down, standing as Shikamaru entered her office. She walked to the front of her desk, leaning against it, arms crossed.
"I have… a request."
"A request?"
"From Sunagakure."
Shikamaru realized a long time ago that he wasn't Hero material.
Heroes were interesting. They had tragic back-stories and grew up with strong senses of right and wrong. Their struggles were vast and world-altering, and they possessed that trait—the one exclusive to Heroes—that indebted people to them, but never in a bad way. Heroes were loved, adored, respected, worshipped; Heroes had cool powers and earth-shattering strength. Their will was indomitable and their persistence unfaltering. They never gave up, and in the end, they never lost.
He supposed, in a way, Sasuke was a Hero. After all, Sasuke got the girl. And Heroes always got the girl.
Shikamaru frowned.
Did he even care? I mean, this was what Ino wanted, right? She'd pined after Sasuke ever since she had learned cooties weren't gross and boys were kind of cute. He and Chouji had been the targets of her ire when Sakura was placed into Sasuke's team instead of her, but they had also been the shoulders she cried on after Sasuke betrayed the village. After the war, Shikamaru seemed pretty sure that Ino didn't care for Sasuke anymore. She had spoken so harshly to him when Asuma was a baby. Shikamaru just assumed…
Well, it was pointless to think on it now. In the end, Ino got what she wanted, and Sasuke got Ino. The Hero got the girl.
What did the sidekick get? Well, perhaps a mildly troublesome life with a mildly troublesome woman, if everything went his way. That was how the life of a supporting character went, right? Shikamaru had no qualms about his place in this story of sealed nine-tailed demons and special bloodline doujutsu's. He was, and always had been, content to stand on the sidelines and offer help in the form of intellect and strategy. Blowing things up was better left to people like Naruto and Sasuke; better left to Heroes.
But he was still frustrated.
The scroll on the table was rolled shut. It was a missive from the Kazekage, Gaara. Kage's could not choose the ambassador sent from Konoha who would reside in their village to maintain alliances with them; that choice was up to Tsunade-sama. But Gaara had still asked that Shikamaru be sent as the ambassador for Suna. Shikamaru was pretty sure it wasn't a personal request from Gaara, but a personal request from his sister. Either way, it was there in writing. Shikamaru just refused to look at it.
He started tossing the scroll leisurely in the air, almost hoping a bird would come and swoop it out of his fingers. The Hokage had given him a bit of time to think about it, but Shikamaru was sure rumour had already spread through the upper-ranking shinobi about the Kazekage's 'request'. It didn't take a genius to figure out who really 'requested' a specific Konohagakure Ambassador. Under previous circumstances, Shikamaru would have had to think a lot less about taking up permanent residence in Suna. Because he would have said no.
Asuma (senior) entrusted him with the responsibility of protecting the kings of Konoha, and when one of those kings was his sensei's son, Shikamaru wouldn't give up that job for anything in the world. But Sasuke got the girl and Sasuke was protecting the king when he couldn't even talk to the girl he'd known since he was a kid. And he knew these were all crummy excuses but he couldn't help it because he had always been good at running away, and he hadn't run away in a long time; maybe he was overdue?
Temari was in Sunagakure; that was a good reason to go. They could rekindle their relationship and maybe even get married. Temari was the perfect mildly troublesome girl to be with; he would have the closest-to-perfect mildly troublesome life with her. He loved her—still loved her after everything, despite the break-up and the time apart and the distance. If he accepted this request… he could be with her again, and they could start over, and they could be happy… so what was stopping him?
She smiled against his tears falling on her cheeks, and he felt her touch more greatly than he ever had before.
Ino kissed him.
The scroll dropped back into his hand with a firm clack, and he almost couldn't see where Tsunade had broken the seal on it if he hadn't noticed the faint cracks zigzagging across Gaara's clan symbol. He tucked it into one of the pockets on his chunin vest and rubbed his neck despairingly. His thumb swept over his bottom lip and he remembered the brief moment of her hair tickling his cheek and the sweet smell of flowers.
She kissed him. She kissed him and then he ran away, and he still didn't know if he would have done something differently if she kissed him again. This was Ino. She was loud and bossy and beautiful and confident and every man in Konoha would die to be with her.
And she was Ino.
She was picky and fickle and talked too loud and had no filter and didn't care that she was being selfish or unreasonable because she was Ino and she got everything she wanted. She preened too much for attention and basked too much in glory, complained too much about creepsters and fawned too much over pretty boys. Her vocabulary consisted of, "Don't I look pretty?" and "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?!"
Once she got an idea in her head, it was nearly impossible to talk her out of it. Most of her conversations were about gossip and fashion. She stopped to stare at herself in a shop window more times than anyone ever needed to stare at themselves and brushed her hair too many times a day because that was the only logical explanation for having the silkiest hair he'd ever seen anyone have.
She cared about him too much and smiled too genuinely and she needed to stop because his heart didn't pound wildly when she was around like it used to do with Temari so, so long ago, but his hand itched to touch her and his heart warmed when she smiled. And it was different, the things he felt for her versus the things he felt for Temari, and he still wasn't sure what all those feelings meant.
Was he in love with her?
Shikamaru groaned and dropped his head onto the table, scaring a few of the other customers at the small coffee shop he popped into. A cup of green tea was in front of him—he felt like he had to buy something if he was going to sit broodingly in the corner of their quaint little shop. The tea sat untouched, no longer steaming invitingly. If Shikamaru had decided to take a sip of it now, it would have been lukewarm and, as Ino would say, "Gross!"
It was weird. This was weird. The thought of Ino and him… together? It seemed ridiculous. They would kill each other after a week. She was way too high maintenance and he was too lazy to deal with it. Ino would be the most troublesome girlfriend in the entire universe. She was everything he'd critiqued his dad for marrying. She was loud and bossy and nagged all the time and if he married her he'd never get a moment's peace.
"Shikamaru, no matter how strong-minded a woman is, she will show kindness to the man she loves."
He picked his head up off the table and stared at his tea.
"Why do you care?"
"Why wouldn't I care?"
She made him think about things he would rather forget about. She leaned against him when he lit a cigarette, but yelled at him about lung cancer. Her body was heavy and terrifying in his arms every time she used mind transfer and he trained harder to forget that feeling. She jumped on his bed when he slept late, and bothered him about his laziness. She refused to let him slack off and dragged him to the mission centre when he'd rather be cloud-watching. He found The Art of War on his bedside table one night, after Ino had kicked him out of his own room to clean up.
He flipped through it in the dim light of the moon during nights he couldn't sleep, nights after close-calls and thick, jagged scars appearing on new sections of his skin. Fellow shinobi stopped him on the street to thank him for saving their lives on that mission last week, and old ladies at the convenience stores smiled respectfully at him, offering free snacks. His missions were ranked higher and higher every time he successfully completed the previous one, and Tsunade-sama was even requesting his opinion on certain mission strategies.
His father smiled proudly at him when they crossed paths to the Hokage's office. Chouji started training more and more to keep up with him. And Ino…
Ino burst with excitement after he was promoted to jounin.
"Why do you care?"
"I want you to be happy."
She made him better. She made him want to be a Hero. She made him want to get the girl.
"Say hello, Shikamaru."
The boy with droopy eyes had a little pout on his face that everyone knew would turn into a frown as he grew older; the girl's hair was short and blonde, but it was her big, blue eyes that made Shikamaru turn away, a faint redness on his chubby cheeks.
"Hi…"he muttered.
She cocked her head at him, reaching forward to grab his hand. "Hi!" she said, smiling toothily at him. His face turned red and he tore his hand out of her grip, stuffing it into the pocket of his shorts. He 'tch'ed and turned his head to the side again, refusing to look at her.
"Shikamaru! That's not nice!" he heard his mother scold from above him, but he still refused to look at the girl who grabbed his hand. He clenched it into a fist in his pocket. His mother apologized to the girl's father for his behaviour, but he ignored them. The girl caught his attention by shoving her face into his, so close he thought she might be able to feel the heat from his cheeks.
"I'm Ino," she said as the adults continued to talk above their heads. She smiled brightly. "I don't know why you don't like me, but I think we should be friends."
She was so intent on getting her way, he thought as she grabbed his hand and dragged him off to play an annoying game of "the kunoichi saves the lord". He was the lord that needed saving, and she was the beautiful and deadly kunoichi that would save him. It suited him just fine, he thought, because it meant he didn't have to move around much, but watching her flitting around him with her bright eyes and her wide smile meant that Shikamaru spent much of their play time staring down at the grass.
"I rescued you!" he heard her exclaim, and then her hands grasped at his excitedly, prompting him to look at her face glowing with happiness. That was when he knew that being around her was a very, very bad idea.
Because he could sense it even then; how easily Yamanaka Ino would capture his heart if he wasn't careful.
Shikaku exhaled softly as he stepped into the backyard, watching the familiar sight of his only son lying on the ground, surrounded by deer that walked around him to get to the water troughs. His eyes were closed, but Shikaku knew he wasn't sleeping. Shikamaru didn't go into the backyard to sleep; he went there to think.
"Where's mom?" Shikamaru asked, eyes still closed. Shikaku sighed and stepped closer to his lazy son, settling onto the soft grass to let some of the new fauns smell him.
"Looking for you," he said. Yoshino had been red in the face after coming home, ranting to him about how his lazy son had turned traitor, or something along those lines. He had, of course, heard about the Kazekage's 'request' earlier that day. It hadn't surprised him, but it hadn't pleased him either. The rumours going around had hinted that Shikamaru was going to go along with the request in the missive, which is why his wife was in such a state. But Shikaku knew better than to listen to gossip; the best source was always the main one.
"Are you going?" Shikaku asked. Shikamaru sat up, rubbing the back of his neck as he frowned.
"Don't know. Maybe," he replied. Shikaku watched him carefully, the furrow in his brows and the way his fingers rubbed his neck. Shikaku thought about saying more, asking him what was holding him back from going, but the pensive look in his son's eyes stopped him. "What do you think would happen if I went?" he asked. Shikaku rubbed his chin.
"You'd come back after three years, probably," Shikaku said. His son looked at him in surprise, and the older Nara smirked. "There's too much of the will of fire in you; you wouldn't stay away for long." Shikaku craned his neck up to look at the pocket of the sky peeking through the trees. "Temari would come back with you, probably as your wife. She doesn't hate Konoha, but she wants to be sure you'll be loyal to her first. The Kazekage's missive is a way of testing your loyalty." He looked back down at his son, who was frowning at the grass.
Shikaku knew what his son was thinking; he always knew what his son was thinking. Shikamaru could be too predictable for his own good sometimes, but Shikaku also supposed it was because he knew his son too well. His boy might be lazy, but he was also loyal to the core. If Tsunade asked him to, he'd go to Suna and be the ambassador there. Shikamaru knew the benefits of going; a marriage between the Kazekage's sister and the up-and-coming jounin of Konoha would solidify the alliance between Konoha and Suna. It was advantageous to the village, and Shikaku thought maybe it was also something Shikamaru wanted too (he had been dating the Suna kunoichi, right?). But it was obvious from their current conversation that that wasn't the case anymore.
Shikamaru looked down at the ground and started plucking blades of grass, feeding them to the little fauns that wandered over. He was frowning, as he usually did while deep in thought, but Shikaku had the feeling this frown was tinged slightly with sadness.
"Is this your way of telling me to go?" Shikamaru asked, his hands clenched into fists in his lap. Shikaku chuckled.
"Depends. Are you asking because you're too afraid to make the decision yourself?" Shikamaru's head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock as they stared at his father smirking at him. Shikaku reached out and scuffed Shikamaru in the back of the head. "You might have grown, but you're still just a kid." Shikamaru scowled at him, prompting him to chuckle again.
He stood up to leave, but stopped at Shikamaru's voice. His son was looking down at the grass, refusing to meet his eyes. There was an undertone of helplessness to his voice, but a current of stubbornness that Shikaku recognized in himself.
"If I'm still a kid, is it okay for me to be selfish?"
He was blushing faintly, and it made Shikaku smile. He ruffled his son's hair, like he'd done so many times in the past.
"I'm your father; I'll let you be as selfish as you want."
When Shikamaru finally found Ino, he realized with trepidation that it was on the hill where she kissed him. And Sasuke was with her.
He approached cautiously but noticeably, watching as Sasuke's head turned to pin him with a deadly stare. But Shikamaru wasn't intimidated by something like that; he'd risked life and limb and friend for this ex-traitor and he wasn't going to back down. He was barely able to prevent the Uchiha from taking one of his friends, Shikamaru would be damned if he let the Uchiha take the other one.
Ino noticed his approach after Sasuke stood up, and Shikamaru heard her yell echoing across the hill as his kunai came up to block Sasuke's katana. Wasn't Sasuke banned from carrying weapons? Either way, Shikamaru was thankful for his reflexes; he hadn't even realized Sasuke attacked until he heard the clang of their blades crashing against each other.
He was making tracks in the dirt from the pressure of Sasuke's blade pressing into his kunai. He managed to duck away, but that damn Uchiha was as fast as lightning and he was barely able to manage avoiding the strike that would have cut off his arm. Shikamaru was strong, but he knew he wasn't strong enough to fight the Uchiha with just brute force. His hands came up to form the hand seals he'd practiced since birth, but Ino's dash between him and Sasuke stopped him halfway.
"Sasuke, stop it right now!" Ino shouted. Her back was to Shikamaru as she held her arms out in a protective gesture. He couldn't see her face, but he saw Sasuke put away his katana. The ex-traitor shifted his deadly gaze over Ino's shoulder at Shikamaru, but Ino shifted to block his gaze and Shikamaru found himself looking at her pale blonde hair. He didn't listen to their conversation, hypnotized by the slight sway of her ponytail as the wind rustled the grass. He thought, irrationally, that he wanted to touch it.
He jolted out of his thoughts when Sasuke's shoulder brushed against his, and the ex-traitor's voice filtered softly but warningly through the air. "Don't make her cry again."
Shikamaru tensed. He hadn't known she'd cried, although he had suspected. The suspicion seemed safe; he wouldn't really know if Ino cried unless it was laid out in front of him as fact. Shikamaru was hoping he'd never have it laid out in front of him as fact; he hoped he could pretend there was a possibility he'd never made her cry.
She looked at him then, after Sasuke disappeared down the hill. She smiled softly; knowingly. He wondered what she knew. Did she know how fast his heart was beating right now?
"I'm sorry, he's just overprotective," she said. Shikamaru hated how easily she talked about Sasuke. He frowned and averted his eyes, telling himself he didn't want to look at her because she was standing against the setting sun and it was too bright. But he knew that wasn't the reason. It was just a habit. He felt his walls crumbling and he didn't want to bother filling in the cracks anymore.
"You guys seem to get along well," he said. "Have you slept with him too?"
She slapped him; his cheek was hot and it stung from the force of her palm. When he finally looked at her—like really looked at her—she was crying.
"Jerk," she hissed. "You're the only one I—whatever. Like you'd care anyway." She tried to walk around him, her arms tense at her sides. But he wanted to know the end of that sentence. He wanted to know what she was going to say. So he reached out and grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest. She fought against him, because she was Ino and that was what she always did; she always fought him. He knew that with her, he'd never get his way.
But he smiled as they tumbled down onto the grass, and he grinned at her when she started shrieking angrily about chauvinistic males and grass stains. The tears were still on her face, but she was flushed with anger and her eyes were sharply narrowed at him. She looked beautiful, he thought, and he was strangely proud of the fact that he was the one who frustrated her so much. He thought that it must be the cracks in his walls getting wider.
"I was always jealous of him," he said nonchalantly, stopping Ino mid-rant. She stared wide-eyed up at him. She didn't know what was happening yet but she would soon. The revelation would start in her eyes, and Shikamaru wanted to watch it as it crested over, which is why he pinned her so expertly to the ground, their faces level with each other. His dark eyes bored into hers. He didn't want to miss a thing.
"You've liked him since we were young and I hated it. I didn't know it then, but I was jealous of how easily he got your attention." Shikamaru leaned close enough to brush his nose gently against hers. She was so still beneath him, but he could almost feel the palpitations of her heart.
"Shika—"
"This is really troublesome," he sighed heavily, letting his forehead plop tiredly into the junction of her neck and shoulder. He really didn't want to talk about how inferior he felt to the Sasuke in their youth. "Let me sleep here Ino." He could feel her getting angry again; the tensing of her shoulder told him as much.
"Shikamaru, get off me," she hissed at him, her hands thumping at his back. "I'm not your pillow, you lazy butthead!" Her hits were getting weaker, and he felt the frame of her body start to tremble. "I'm not… I'm not your anything, so get off—"
He tightened his hold on her and rolled until Ino was sitting on top of him, her hands pressed against his chest and her blue eyes swimming with tears. She was looking at him in surprise, the waves in her eyes not yet cresting over onto her cheeks. His arms were wrapped around her waist, preventing her from escaping.
"I'll let you go if you do me one thing," he said. She glared heatedly at him.
"As if! I'm not giving into any of your stupid demands you chauvinistic, lazy bastard—"
"Kiss me."
She looked at him at first like he was crazy. But he saw it happen, the change from sadness to disbelief to hope. She was daring to hope. For her, it was so impossible. Was this moment really happening? He could see every thought play out on her face. He almost wished she asked him to repeat his words, because then he would have just kissed her himself.
But she didn't. She smoothed her hands over his chest, fingers splayed out. Her tied hair slipped over her shoulder, mixing with the blades of grass. The sun was still setting, but now in hues of pink and gold. Their figures cast shadows on the ground, separate at first but then melding as she lowered her face to his. The sky was quickly turning to night, and the stars began to appear one by one in the sky.
The cracks were too big now, and he felt his walls breaking down as her lips rested softly on his.
It was unfair, he thought, how easy it was to love her. But he knew now how fruitless it was to try to stop it. She'd already taken all of his love so many years ago; he was just pretending he still had it.
"Ino?"
"… yeah?"
"Do you think you could… give me all your love?"
She laughed into his chest.
"Dummy. You've had it all along."