Sorry about the long wait! I am committed to this, but things have been super hectic, and there isnt enough hours in the day! Thank you to all of my reviews from previous chapters! I have now figured out how to work the annonymous reviews button, so everyone can tell me what they think if they like!

Again, my chapter is dedicated to RJmoonspell! For helping through writing again! and to my Cat Armani, who has sat right beside me when i have been writing hthis on my laptop!

Here it is xoxo

Marissa walked into a bathroom stall and put her head in her hands, her chest racked with sobs as she wept as quiet as she could, although some people still knocked the door asking if she was ok, as she wiped her eyes and looked at the picture, she promised to herself that she would someday make Ottilie proud, be what she deserves. She knew that when the doctors handed her the baby for the first time, she knew she would never be a good enough mother, but now, with the surge of love that comes rushing through you when you are proud of a child, it had made her determined to make herself good enough, maybe meet Ottilie, the only problem she still had though, was Ryan. He would never forgive her, never let her see their daughter, never let himself love her again, but she had to do it, she had to try, how could she make him understand?

After a long while of Marissa hiding out in the bathrooms she decided if she didn't show her face soon, someone would come looking for her, and that would most likely be Courtney, and somehow she thought that Ryan wouldn't want to share their story with her. Because they way she had acted her, Marissa was happy to put money on the fact she didn't have a clue who she was. Pretty much how Jake was clueless around Ryan, what had they gotten themselves into. She walked back towards her table, and relieved that Ryan wasn't sitting there, she couldn't deal with him at the moment, but she would, she had to at some point.

"There you are Riss we were about to send out a search party" Jake said as she neared them, still seeing Courtney hanging another stranger, not that she cared at this moment in time, it meant that wherever Ryan was he was alone, and maybe if she could find him then she would be able to talk to him for a few seconds, although the chances of him hearing what she had to say were slim to none and the thought of facing Ryan again were so nerve racking for her she thought she was going to throw up.

"Erm yeah, I ran into a friend from Chanel and got talking,"

"Oh my god, was it Karl Lagerfield?" Sarah asked sarcastically as she raised an eyebrow at Marissa,

"Who's Karl Lagerfield?" Courtney asked naively, she had forgotten that she was trying to impress her new friends by pretending she knew a thing or two about the business she worked in.

"I think I need to step outside for a minute, it's a little stuffy in here" Marissa said, Jake immediately stepped up p grab her hand and follow her.

"I will come too," he leant in and kissed her cheek.

"If I'm not back in 20 minutes, don't bother looking, we've most probably gone home to have more fun, if you know what I mean" he winked at his friends, and Marissa cringed at him, sometimes, he was a public embarrassment.

"Jake, really" she asked raising her eyebrows and sneering, he shrugged his shoulders and directed her towards the side door. Once they were there he pushed her up against the wall and kissed her hard, although he was her fiancИ, with other things in her mind at the minute, kissing back with all the force was fairly low on her list. They stayed that way for a while, until the broke apart for air. Marissa looked at her fiance, wondering if she should be completely honest with him. She did love him, and she was happy, at least she thought she was. That was what she often told herself anyway.

"I was getting kind of bored in there" Jake said leaning in again, he was never usually this affectionate, he was probably drunk, and just not showing it.

"Other guys had been staring at you all night, its nice to have you to myself for once." Marissa pulled an unconvincing smile, he did have this crazy jealous, over protective streak. He couldn't handle her being around other men that often. The worst time for her was when she was doing a cover shoot and he insisted on being there, she thought it was because he liked other people to know that she was his. He broke their kiss to look down at his phone, he had Marissa pretty tight against the wall and when she took a deep breath and brought her head up, to acknowledge the people they hadn't already. She saw Ryan, he just shook his head and looked away, Marissa suddenly felt guilty she never meant to rub it in his face. They kept there eye line, it felt like they had been there before, when one of them would be with another date and they would stare across at the other, wishing they were with them. Like the Valentines where Theresa came to Newport, or at her Moms wedding.

"O hey Ryan," Jake said casually, noticing him nearby. Ryan cringed at how Marissa could be with someone like that,

"Hey" he said in a fake voice that Marissa could read,

"I couldn't keep away from my gorgeous fiancИ for too long," he said winking, Ryan just nodded and looked away while Marissa flushed with embarrassment.

"Right" Ryan said uninterested, he felt Marissa gaze and met her eyes, he silently read that they should talk, but right now, he couldn't even give her the time of day.

"Your Courtney is a wild one" Jake said trying to spark up conversation,

"Yep" Ryan said, holding his cell phone giving one word answers.

"He's a quiet one" Jake whispered to Marissa, Marissa looked at her ex boyfriend, she may of changed but he was still the same, still quiet, still brooding, still able to make her insides flutter at a glance.

"I'm going back inside, Coming Marissa?" Jake asked her although it sounded like a demand.

"Actually I think I will wait her for a little while longer."

"Suit yourself. Ryan dude, keep an eye on her for me," Ryan nodded at him and turned his back against Marissa. She was unsure who would make the first move, it was inevitable that they needed to talk but now she had to, she hadn't a clue of what she should say, or how she should say it. She couldn't exactly say 'what's up Ryan, how are you, how's our daughter, you know I have just been so busy with my life the last couple of years I decided it would be best that I never spoke to you or contacted you, so what's new with you?'

"Are you going to say something? Or carry on thinking over it in your head" Ryan said to her, she walked around to where he was standing with his back facing her, she looked him cold in the eye and rubbed her arms up and down for warmth, in the old days that would have been the time when Ryan would of offered her his jacket, but not a movement, o how things had changed.

"I don't know where to start..." She said timidly.

"Right then, well this has been nice, see you again in another 5 years" He began to walk off when she grabbed his arm,

"That didn't mean I wasn't going to say anything now does it? Ryan there is no need to be sarcastic with me, we are both adults and grown up enough to have a mature conversation" A new confidence had empowered Marissa, one that had never been there when she was younger that was for sure.

"Marissa, now isn't a great time"

"Ryan there never will be a good time for this." Marissa answered him back, she could tell he was trying to dodge her, all questions avoided.

"Your right and whose fault is that?" He asked her raising his voice

"So your going to act like a child now? Real Grown up of you" she said scowling,

"Me act like a child? You have got to be kidding me!! IT WASN'T ME THAT RUN AWAY WHEN I COULDN'T HANDLE RESPONSIBILITY!!" This was too much, everything of that night had gotten to him, First seeing Marissa, then the emotions of seeing Marissa, then seeing his girlfriend make out with another guy, then Marissa confronting him, it was a bad dream, he wanted someone to pinch him now and get it over with.

"I DIDN'T RUN AWAY!!" Marissa countered.

"You knew where I was, I was hardly running away" Marissa said trying to not let him see she was upset and probably going to break down in a few minutes

"I don't know why I am even having this conversation with you? What is the point, what you did is done and there's isn't anything that you can do to change it, so just do what you do best Marissa and just leave, again"

"RYAN I AM TRYING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT BUT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO LISTEN TO ME!!"

"YOUR RIGHT, YOU DON'T DESERVE IT,"

"you don't know how hard it was, to just leave, to say goodbye to my daughter, to go without saying goodbye to you, to wake up every day knowing what I left behind, to have a the marks on my stomach from where I carried her Ryan! It wasn't easy for me either!!" Marissa's chest was panting from the emotion, but still she felt strong, a lot stronger than the last time she and Ryan had had an argument.

"I'm sure it wasn't" Ryan retorted sarcastically.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Marissa asked hurt.

"We both know what it means Marissa, think of the year you went out to New York, I stayed at home with our daughter, trying to make it work here in LA, I was a wreck I couldn't actually make it work without you here and I was crazy because I still loved you"

"Past tense, ouch" She said looking at the ground.

"You don't expect that you could just walk back and I would love you, Marissa are you on drugs? Or that delusional in real life"

"Ryan there is no need for that? Since when have you ever been so hurtful, I get what I did was bad, but..."

"What you did was worse Marissa, I just came home to find you gone"

"I wasn't any good for her in Newport Ryan, I was relying on anti depressants to get me through the day and I couldn't even look at my baby you don't know how that felt" Marissa was crying, she was thankful that no one was paying attention to them outside and too engrossed in their own lives.

"Marissa I came to New York, I went to your building, your Mom gave me the address" Ryan admitted not looking at her in the eye,

"You came to New York? When? Why?" She asked confused, she wiped a tear that was coming down her face, she finally thought that they were getting somewhere, in there, discussion/argument and now he has taken his usual quiet turn.

"I didn't come in and see you, you were to busy, with someone else's kid with some other guy, laughing and smiling, so I thought, why take that away from her? We are so much better without you anyway, to have you with us would of only held you down, but it was a good thing, you got what you wanted in the end, a rich boyfriend , modelling career, the upper east side life." His words were like a dagger in her heart, she was babysitting for her cousin and was with a boyfriend of the time, the worst thing for Ryan to ever see.

"Ryan I didn't know┘┘ I had no clue that you were even there, and don't say┘. that I want that stuff, that isn't me at all┘ you know me" She tried to touch his cheek with her hand but he shook his head and turned away.

"Whatever Marissa, this has been good for us, talking about what happened, maybe who knows I will see you again someday" He began to walk away from her but she chased after him, tears falling from here eyes and stumbling over her words.

"Ry," She hoped that his old pet name would soften him like he once had, but it wasn't working as she had hoped.

"Please things are different now, I have changed, I am not some manic depressed Mom anymore, heck I never was a Mom to begin with, but please just talk to me about this so more maybe we could..-" He silenced her by kissing her with all the pent up passion he had kept locked up from the last 5 years, it was unexpected, but passionate and he didn't even know he was going to do it, he still hated her, he didn't think he could get back with her, but he had to kiss her, one last time, that had been his biggest regret when they were younger, not saying goodbye properly.

"Goodbye Marissa" He said and walked away from her, he jogged over the road to an empty taxi, thinking of the mistake that he had just made, where as she was stood stunned on the other side of the road,

"O crap," she said to herself, she had gotten what she had least expected when she saw him in that club earlier on in the night, that fluttering feeling in her stomach.

Hope you liked it? I was not sure about how to write the confrontation at all, this was my 3rd draft! Another post should be up soon, let me know your thoughts. Thanks xoxo