Hey everyone, sorry it took a while - I didnt know where to start :P

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Hope you enjoy this installement.

As the day went on Ottilie began to act like her normal self again, She spent most of the day not talking to Ryan which was to be expected, but she said it was only because Summer was having a baby that she needed to spend more time with her, but she was 5 and her lies weren't exactly up to scratch. Everyone was thrilled by Seth and Summer's news, it kind of made him sad thinking back to when they had told people Marissa was pregnant, and the couple not getting the happy joyous responses that his brother had gotten.

"So now she wants to meet Marissa" Ryan said rubbing his tired face as he watched Ottilie dance with Summer by the cold sea, Ryan finished telling Julie and he thought he saw a bit of an eyebrow move, which wasn't common on Julies botoxed forehead.

"So are you going to do it?" Julie asked concerned for him, he looked particularly not himself today, and Ottilie wanting her Mom all of a sudden wasn't helping him

"Well, the thing is, I know that she isn't going to want to see her, and how can I tell Otty that?" Ryan asked her hopelessly, since Marissa left Ryan and Julie had sort of become friends and she was always there to help him, and he couldnt deny, she really was a great Grandma.

"Well how do you know that Marissa won't want to see her? Just because she left doesn't mean she didn't care, I hate to say it but I offered her money for an abortion but she didn't take it, and you have to think of her as well, post natal depression is a serious thing, you can't cure it in a second. Marissa just had a bad case is all." Julie questioned him. Ryan shook his head and laughed sardonically,

"Because and no offence Julie, she has had the opportunity to come back and never wanted to, what is worse, me going out on a limb and her rejecting us or not having any contact at all." Ryan said matter of factly although his heart was saying something different.

"I'm not going to argue with you, or try to convince you what my daughter did was right, its just when your Mom left, she never stopped loving you did she? When you visited her in Albuquerque, there wasn't any hatred between you two, she didn't run away from you, or swear that she never had you, and you have to believe but Marissa won't do that either, it comes from this maternal instinct you get when you have a baby, I can't explain it." Julie said hoping to get through to him, like Ottilie she knew that Ryan was stubborn and it would take a lot of convincing for him to make his decision . She could see Ryan's face brooding over it in the darkening setting of the beach.

"In magazines it quotes her as having lost her baby, she tells people that she never even had Ottilie, when the truth comes out, that's going to effect her as well, How do I know she is ready to give up her career to take Ottilie to Ballet Class twice a week."

"Ryan I get that your trying to create excuses not to do it, but Ottilie did ask, she has some interest don't forget, and I thought you had her best interests at heart too." Julie said contradicting Ryan.

"I do, its just-"

"You're still in love with her." Julie said trying to be understanding. She watched Ryan's face change slightly.

"That's irrelevant Julie" Julie smiled at his but he was determined to look away.

"I will always love her, she was the first person she met in Newport, she was my first love, we went through so much together, but that changed when she went away, I am not in love with her anymore, I can't be, because there is no way that she would ever feel the same for one."

"You really don't know until you tried, Why don't you just take her number, I mean you did promise Ottilie and she may be a supermodel now Ryan, but I can guarantee somewhere deep down is my daughter, even if she doesn't appear it now and she would want to meet Ottilie, all she wants is a chance Ryan," She dug around in her beach bag for her cell phone and scrolled down to find the number, just the Ottilie came running over, holding Kaitlin's hand.

"Dad," Her voice wasn't filled with excitement that she usually brings,

"Can I stay with Aunt Kaitlin again tonight, Max and her said they will take me to the movies" Ottilie was holding hands with both Kaitlin and on the other side Max, it was their age that Ryan and Marissa had fallen pregnant. All they had to worry about at the minute were applying to the same colleges and getting in, while Marissa and Ryan were in college they were worrying about, shootings, rapes, Johnny's death, that crazy Volchuck guy and so much more.

"Atwood I promise we will take care of her, we can take her out tonight, she can stay at home with me and Mom then Seth and Sum are driving back to LA tomorrow anyway so they can drop her home then" He silently thanked Kaitlin, he knew that she had figured that he was a little torn over Marissa and could do with a night on his own.

"Are you sure Otty?" Ryan asked, his daughter never wanted to spend more than a night away from him, and then she would go with some fuss but for her to actually want to go made him feel a little useless, like he had let her down even more than he already had.

"Yep" Ottilie said whilst looking away from him, she couldn't help but feel angry at her Dad, even though from what he had told her it wasn't her fault. Ryan felt like the worlds worst father at that moment, never had he felt so disappointed in himself over something so small with Ottilie.

"We will take good care of her honestly man, I promise that I won't drive to fast or anything" Max said nervously, with Ryan being so protective over his family he always felt like he was under intense scrutiny,

"Come on Max, Ryan would never hurt you, I think he has forgotten how to throw a punch" Kaitlin joked as Max just looked scared.

"Say bye to Daddy then Ottilie and then Mom we will go, we will be back later" Kailtlin leant down to air kiss her Mom, but Ottilie didn't budge. Ryan tried to look in another direction so he didn't have to see her face ignore him.

"Bye Dad" Ottilie turned around and was quickly followed by Kaitlin walking after her, Ryan just stood there looking even sadder than before.

"Give me her number Julie" Ryan said quietly.

"I think I need to get this over with."

Marissa sat quietly at a deserted part of the beach, she never used to come to this bit when she was younger, they would always go to the lifeguard stand or the beach of the side of the pier, but she had been walking aimlessly thinking about what she had overheard and just stumbled upon it. She had been sitting out there most of the day, screening calls from Jake. She wasn't in the mood to deal with him tonight, she just wanted to be alone, to think about everything. Mainly to think about her daughter.

Seeing her today made Marissa fell a sense of pride, she had so many plans for when she had been pregnant, about how she was going to raise her daughter and what she was going to do with her as she grew up, wondering about what type of Mom she would be. Marissa had always thought that she had done what she did for her daughter, knowing that she was to sick to look after her at the time, but seeing her today she wouldn't wished to be left motherless on anybody.

Marissa had been waiting around in Newport all day today, not actually doing anything but she couldn't be bothered to go back to her hotel in LA. From memory of living here her whole life she knew there was the Newport Marriot and decided that she could rest there for the night instead of going back to LA and having another argument with Jake.

As Marissa got to the hotel it was more or less the same as she remembered, being a model you grow over the first hype of going in a nice hotel, especially since she grow up going to them also. For her if it had a mini bar, a bath and a big bed, that would be where she would rest her head. She hardly ever did this, ever. Jake would always come with her or want to know where she is going, but now she is doing her own thing completely, yet it didn't feel exhilarating, she had too many guilty thoughts swirling round her head.

"Hey, I know this is short notice but have you got a room for the night?" Marissa asked tiredly as the receptionist.

"Are you Marissa Cooper?" They young girl asked start struck.

"Yeh I am" Marissa said embarrassed, having people know her name wherever she was was so strange.

"Well of course, we can give you our best suite in the house, have you got any luggage Miss Cooper?" The woman asked looking at a slightly dishevelled supermodel as she just carried her Chanel Bag and nothing else.

"No," Marissa responded tiredly,

"Well here is your suite key, I will have someone take you up there" She offered,

"There's no need, thanks" Marissa smiled her way and made her way to the lift and soon found her room for the night. It was nice but when she had stayed in some of the most amazing hotels in the world, somewhere where she and Summer stayed when they were avoiding their parents in the summer of 9th grade didn't seem to impressive. She relaxed on the bed and closed her eyes, her day had been emotionally draining, she had sat and thought mostly about Ottilie all day, it was odd her fate had decided that she should over hear that particular conversation between them. Her cell phone began to ring again, looking at the screen it was a number she didn't know, she assumed it was Jake calling from the hotel, she exhaustedly picked up her phone and answered it.

"Jake, I told you I needed some space, did you even read the note I left you? all you had to do was give me one day, you can't even do that!?" Marissa told the phone furiously.

"So, it is a habit of running away when and leaving notes for the boyfriend, I thought I was just special." Ryan said sarcastically, mentally hitting himself for not doing this the adult way.

Marissa, that was expected, say something, don't just stand there, you need to speak, its easy, open your mouth and words come out. Start with apologising that could always work.

"Ryan?" Marissa asked him whilst she held her breath, Ryan thought she sounded surprised, like she did when he was late for prom.

Your doing this for Ottilie, think about your daughter, just come out and say you saw her today, tell her that her Mom gave you her number, say something!

"I hope this alright, um….me calling, your Mom gave me your number"

Oh my god what if he was calling you to tell you that he was still in love with you, don't be a bitch Marissa, and breathe and relax.

"Erm, yeh that's fine…..look Ryan at the diner today…I didn't mean to….I shouldn't of listened I'm sorry." Marissa waited for him to say something, anything to know that he didn't completely hate her.

Ryan stop dawdling, tell her the real reason you phoned, tell her about Ottilie.

"She's gorgeous Ry" Marissa said as she smiled happily into the phone, wiping away a tear,

"I know, I did a really great job" Ryan snapped back

There it is again Ryan! You snapped, now her wanting to see you and Ottilie are completely out of the window, you had to do one thing for your daughter, and you couldn't even do that.

"Right, yeah…"Marissa said, Ryan could tell she was upset.

"Look, I'm sorry….I don't know how long your in LA for but can we meet? I think there are some things we need to talk about" Marissa heart jumped at the possibility to talk to Ryan, she just hoped it wouldn't be an argument talk but instead a 'I forgive you' talk.

"Uh, yeah of course, I'm staying in the Newport Marriott for the night, If you wanted to come here, and feel free to bring Ottilie, we could take her down to the pool or something" Marissa said hopefully,

"Um, no I am going to come alone, If that's ok?" Ryan asked her, he could practically hear her voice hitch as a fresh batch of tears started to roll down her cheeks.

"Oh yeah, no that's fine, I am at the Hennigham suite on the top floor." Marissa said as she wiped her tears, she didn't know why crying, but Ryan could always make her feel crazy emotions.

Marissa sat there and anticipated him coming, it felt so good just to talk to him, and maybe he would want to just get on with her. Although a serious talk was inevitable. She just wanted to say so many things, why she went away, what she had been up to the last few years, why she had tried so hard to see him, even though she wasn't sure she wanted to come back anyway. She wanted to finally prove herself to him, and their daughter. She tried to spruce herself up in the mirror, reapplying the faint make up Ryan always loved on her, she unbuttoned a button on her shirt but quickly re did it, realising that Ryan doesn't want her in that way anymore,. She heard a knock at the door and downed the small glass of vodka she prepared for herself before he got there- Dutch courage never did anyone any harm. She rushed over to the door taking a quick reassuring breath when she got there and opened the door she smiled a shy nervous smile at her ex-love and opened to door to the suite to him, it was going to be a long night.

"Hey"

"Hey"

Ryan was so nervous, he didn't know how he was going to tell her, without the fear of his own rejection. The last five years of trying to hate her seemed pointless now she was back. A part of him wanted to open the door and tell her how much he loved her, another part was just wanted to scream. But he had to remember something they both had parts in Ottilie. She opened the door and she looked more amazing than she did last night, it wasn't hard to believe that she was a supermodel, she was beautiful, always was, always will be. She gave her million dollar smile, that every brand wanted on their advertising campaigns, it was also Ottilie's smile.

"Hey"

"Hey"

She heisted a bit, they were both taking each other in, they got over the original shock of seeing the other the night before, both of them not living their finest hours.

"Erm.. come in." Marissa extended the door and they both stood in the entrance awkwardly. Ryan half smiled at her and she just stared at him, in her mind she was shouting at herself to move or do something, yet both of them were stuck.

"Shall I..?" Ryan asked pointing to the array of chairs that the suite had and Marissa nodded and followed him.

"Can I get you anything to drink? Raid the mini bar?" Marissa said hoping to break the ice, to her surprise Ryan responded,

"I'll have a beer, but only one I'm driving back to LA tonight." Ryan said watching walk towards the mini bar, still admiring her beauty.

"So…What's it like living in Hollywood?" Marissa asked him, trying to put off the obviously upsetting questions until later.

"Good, I mean the beach isn't anything like Newport's but we come home most weekends." Ryan said, Marissa nodded and looked away when he said 'home' making her realise she was no longer a part of it anymore.

"So where are you living?" Ryan said trying to make conversation as they sat on the sofas spread out watching the dark lights over the harbour.

"Well mainly I live in New York, but I also have a place in St Bartz" Ryan arched an eyebrow, why would she need a place in St Bartz? She barely had time to visit her Mom because she was so busy with work, having a second house seemed utterly pointless.

"Whereabouts in New York" Ryan asked again, betting his money it was the Upper East Side, after all she had been born and raised in Money.

"Upper East Side" She said awkwardly, knowing that Ryan was judging it immediately.

"With Jack" He asked nonchalantly, trying not to let on that he really cared.

"With Jake, yeah" Marissa looked down and Ryan moved to her eye line.

"Well if your happy Riss, congrats" Ryan tried to act mature, and tried not to think about what it would be like if it was him with her.

"Yeah, well" She shrugged it off, and locked Ryan's eye line. God he had amazing eyes she thought, she could feel herself inch closer subconsciencly, even though Ryan was her ex, and being with him would complicate things by one hundred, she couldn't help but wonder.

Ryan could feel them move closer. It was eye contact like they had always known, when the hadn't been together but both wanted the other.

"We should, you know talk" Ryan said, talking his way out of the obvious. Marissa looked down embarrassed and insecure.

"Where too start? I mean, we have to go through all of it." Marissa fiddled with the same tiffany ring she wore from years ago, still on her right 'ring finger'. Although the matching giant rock on the other one was kind of distracting.

"I just have to say that, I told Ottilie everything today, as I'm sure your aware. But she got really curios, and I told her everything, about how you were in New York and how you got sick, everything" Marissa didn't know whether to be happy or sad, she was certainly pleased her daughter didn't think she was dead but she didn't know where she stood in her rights, and of course there was Jake, she couldn't exactly take a 5 year old home and expect him to be ok with it, because she knew he would definitely not be ok with it.

"Well how did she react?" Marissa asked concerned, Ryan sighed and put his beer on the table and leaned back against the pillows.

"That's why I'm here, and I really don't know what to do Riss" He looked her in her gorgeous blue eyes, again, as he tried to read her.

"What do you mean? You don't know what to do Ryan? Anything she said couldn't of been that confusing, she's 5" Marissa said worriedly, Ryan knew that she always acted like this when she was worried, she rambled and was short tempered.

"What I mean is that she wants you to be around, and she wants to meet you, she wont take no for an answer, is what I mean" Ryan sighed again, anticipating her answer, although from the huge smile on her face it eased him a little, making him see the Marissa he knew and loved in the run up to the pregnancy.

"Oh my god" Marissa started to cry again, for reasons unknown to her, this was the happiest news she heard in a while.

"So you want to…You want to see her?" Ryan asked unsure. Marissa nodded and laughed, laughed like she used to, like she had everything going for her.

"Of course, I just didn't think I could" Marissa smiled still, no matter what happened now, she could see her baby.

"Look I know that everything has happened between us, and it hasn't been ideal but I want to try and make the best of it, and if that means me and you getting together again then…-" Ryan stopped Marissa before she could go on much more,

"Look Riss, too much has happened for me to say we can get back together, I mean you have Jake, your engaged to be married for god sakes, and I mean although me and Courtney are barely together, we still are if that makes sense." he said guiltily.

"Ryan can you honestly tell me from the bottom of your heart, you don't feel anything like I do?" Marissa asked him earnestly, he searched her face for an answer, and he couldn't say no, because the truth was he completely agreed with her.

"Ry…just kiss me, just one, and if you can tell me that there is nothing, nothing that there used to be, we can be those parents that will only see each other when they drop the child off. I promise you, I just want to try." Ryan nodded and by this time there faces were so close they could read each others eyes anyway. Marissa closed the gap and kissed Ryan with all the passion she had within her, she smiled into the kiss as she felt him kiss back. She knew this was the right thing to do, they needed to confront their feelings with each other. Things quickly heated up, as they always did with those to.

Neither one was thinking, as their hands got reacquainted with skin, and somehow Marissa lost her shirt as did Ryan, she could feel Ryan kiss her neck like she used to and felt her insides melt. They were still kissing now on the bed, about to take things further. They hadn't been together in 5 years, and neither could stop.

"Wait," Marissa was now on top of Ryan and their breathing was laboured as she looked down at him, with her big doe eyes.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Ryan asked concerned, he didn't want to go any further if the next day she would go back to being engaged, and forget about him. It hurt to much to get attached.

"Do I look like I want to stop?" Marissa asked him questioning him, she stepped up and removed her jeans now standing there in her underwear.

"We have so much more to talk about Riss" Ryan said distractedly as he let his eyes wander over her slim frame.

"After, I promise" Marissa leaned in and kiss Ryan, as he rolled her over. She reached over and turned off the light, and they both remembered something that night, not only how good they were together, but how much they needed one another, another things that would have to be discussed over their talk. Ryan prayed they eventually would have that chat, a lot was counting on it.

Hmmmmmmmmm hoped you liked it guys :) twas a tricky one to write, have a nice weekend

xoxo