This is a longen guys :P
I had so much to write, my fingers couldnt hit the keys quick enough - thanks to all of my reviewers -you know you mean a lot
and a special mention to: michelle1249 - I really appreciated that you took the time to sit and read Forever Young and The Way I Really Need You, it means alot that you wanted to read them so much - thanks for liking my writing, and yuor lovely review you left me, it encouraged me to write a whole load faster - hope you lile the chapter
Ryan eyes strained open the next morning, the bright Newport sun was shining through the curtains that weren't pulled too the night before. In his arms, he awoke to that similar feeling, a naked Marissa in his arms.
"This can not be good"
He said to himself, her face looked so radiant, so happy, he remembered last night, they were both so carefree, like dong what they did, didn't have complications. Wrong. He could see her phone shake on the side of the table, and he prayed that it wouldn't wake her up, he eased away from her warm body slowly and began to re-dress, not wanting to face the awkwardness of when she woke up. He never thought in a million years that he would be the ditching Marissa so early in the morning, acting like it was a one night stand between the two, when really it was so much more. When he was all ready and about to leave, he turned to look at Marissa's sleeping form once again, taking all of her beauty in, she was beautiful, and for one night she had been his. Ryan walked for the door and opened it being as quiet as he could be, one of the many things he remembered about his ex-girlfriend, was that she was an light sleeper, he would have to try even harder to not make any noise. When he reached the other side of the beige door, he sighed, what a way to complicate things Ryan.
Marissa awoke out of her sleep when she heard the door shut. Her heart sank when she realised who had left. She felt a tear pool in her eye, last night had been amazing, both of them realising how much they had missed each other, in more ways than one. She sank back into the pillows, feeling let down and ashamed, She wasn't what Ryan had wanted, she knew that, but she knew he wasn't the type of guy to leave as soon as a one night stand was over, she thought he was so much more than that. Obviously she was wrong. She heard her phone buzz again, seeing Jakes name on it she was hesitant whether to answer it. After all, she was set to marry Jake in a months time, he deserved to know why his bride to be was acting quite so flaky all of a sudden.
"hello," Marissa asked tiredly, the effects of last night evident in her voice.
"Marissa, please just talk to me" Jake sounded kind of helpless, before her reunion with Ryan, Marissa was kind of certain that she would marry Jake, he was the sensible choice, he would provide her life with security, and her celebrity would rise, not that she needed it to, and she was 80 sure she loved him, like Luke, she thought she loved him, but it only took that boy from Chino to contradict her feelings.
"Marissa please listen to me, I am sorry, I love you M" Marissa listened to him, still not replying, she knew that he loved her, the only times she doubted it was when she saw him around other girls, the way he acted was not that of an engaged man.
"Marissa, please, are you even listening to me?" He pleaded, Marissa was struck with a pang of guilt, she had lied to Jake from the start, and she had also betrayed him by sleeping with someone she thought she loved.
"Yes, I'm here" Marissa insecure voice squeaked,
"O thank god, please tell me your ok? Where are you, do you want me to come and get you?" Jake asked her, although what he did may seem like he didn't care for her, to him, she had been missing for a day and a half.
"I'm fine, I just needed a little space" Marissa stood up and found the complimentary bath robe, and wrapped it around herself feeling used and upset.
"Marissa please, I am so sorry, I love you, you know that I just make an idiot out of myself when I'm out, please M, you can't just leave me like this"
"I'm not leaving you" Marissa answered into the phone, that was semi true, Ryan ahd said the night before how they weren't getting back together, so she wasn't leaving Jake any time soon.
"I love you, and I am sorry that I did anything to make you doubt that, it was one time," Marissa sighed, if she could forgive Jake over what he did, then if he ever found out about her and Ryan he would be most likely to forgive her.
"Your forgiven, I'm sorry for running out on you like that, I just.…I haven't been home to Newport since I left, and I just… I left behind so much, I wanted to find it again by myself" Marissa looked out onto the Newport Harbour, still as beautiful as ever.
"That's ok, take as long as you need," Jake tried to be understanding, although it was pissing him off that she was acting so different, I mean, its only her family she left behind, and its not as if they didn't visit New York, actually thinking about it, the only family of Marissa's he had ever met was her Dad and that Aunt she lived with, when they first started dating.
"Why Don't we go out tonight, I or I could come to you, I mean hI have never been to sSoutnher California, I would like to meet your family and friends? Is that who your with now? Your Mom?" Marissa thought fast, spinning now an even bigger lie.
"Yeah I'm with her right now, actually, I am just going to spend the day with her, we might go to the spa or something, so I will just come back to LA tonight, and maybe we could go to dinner or something," Marissa reasoned with him her lie was too big to tell over the phone, he was going to ask questions, and she really was going to be in Ottilie's life, he did have the right to find out who Ottilie really was.
Ryan headed down onto the beach, opposite the hotel he and Marissa had been in the night before, he walked heavily onto the sand, and towards a array of Rocks, deciding to sit down and think heavily about what had just happened. He selfishly wanted last night to be a one night thing, him and Marissa were already to complicated to be friends with benefits, they couldn't afford to be anything but amicable for Ottilie's sake. Although he would probably have to see his baby traumatised by the paparazzi that followed his ex-lover around, he would probably have to see that asshole Jake fawn over his daughter in magazine spreads with two most important people in his life. He would probably accidentally turn over the news channels sometimes to find Marissa playing in the park with Ottilie, but it sadly being publicised to the high bidder, to him life wasn't fair, he knew that. But Ottilie shouldn't have to grow up in such public spotlights. These were all important things Ryan would have to discuss with Marissa, when she finally gave up being angry at him for ditching her that morning. Ryan jumped at the noise of his cell phone ringing, he silently prayed it wasn't Marissa asking him to come back to the hotel - because he knew the same would happen, until the could act like adults and see past there chemistry it would be a never ending cycle.
"O hey Sum?" Ryan said into the phone, glad it wasn't the woman he spent the night with,
"Hey Chino, I thought I should let you know that Otty and I are going to head down the Harbour with Seth this morning, he has boat crap to do" Summer moaned into the phone.
"That's fine, where are you guys anyway?"
"We stayed at the Cohen's last night, because of Stupid Cohen with his stupid sperm I felt too nauseous to drive home, and Mr Lightweight, said he was to drunk, a complete lie, believe me. We just went down to my Dads and got Otty though for you, do you want her back this afternoon? I said we would bring her home remember?" Summer hoped he remembered, he had been…struggling, with Marissa's return to say the least.
"O yeah that would be great, I drove back to Newport this morning anyway" Ryan said quickly inventing a lie.
"Why would you drive back to Newport?" Summer questioned him,
"Erm….I had some paperwork I needed to pick up from the Newport Offices, then I thought I would pick Ottilie up on my way through, I told her ages ago that I would take her to that cinema in downtown LA to see a special screening of Beauty and the Beast. She got really excited when we spoke about it a while ago." Ryan had secretly helped by indulging his daughter it would replace the upset she felt about Marissa,
"Ok well seeing as your in Newport, why don't I meet you at the beach by the pier in about 20 minutes? Is that alright? Kirsten said she wouldn't mind going to South Coast with me today for baby stuff, and Otty didn't seem to excited about it."
"Was she trouble? You know for Kaitlin or you" Ryan asked, probably knowing the stubbornness of his daughter that she hadn't been the easiest thing to handle the night before.
"Erm, its just a lot to deal with in such a short space of time, she just needs to spend some time with you, and she will be ok, she's strong Chino, I mean, she is an Atwood." Summer said trying to help him.
"half Cooper as well, it does show so much, I mean she is exactly like her and..-"
"Don't start worrying about it Atwood, well see you by the pier in 20."
"Thanks, and Bye Sum"
"Bye" Ryan put down the phone, and began to walk slowly towards his car in the car park of the hotel he and Marissa were in last night, still contemplating what he should say to her, would he apologise or tell her how he felt? What would she want to say back to him. Ryan sighed heavily only one thought through his mindThis is too complicated.
Summer held hands with her niece and walked along the beach, Ottilie hadn't been her usual chatty self, but Summer knew why. Ottilie was torn, she was torn in siding with her Dad, who had been there her whole life, or be around Marissa. It wasn't that anybody told Ottilie to chose, because everyone knew that Ryan would never put her in that position. Although it didn't stop her wondering.
"Hey sweetie, why don't you go find some pretty shells while we wait for Daddy, you can put them up on the mantle when you get home that way can't you" Ottilie nodded and Summer was happy to see for once she had her pretty smile back on her face. Summer leant down and kissed her Ottilie's hair.
"Thanks Auntie Sum, here look after this" She unattached herself from her Chanel bag and handed it safely over to her aunt, and began to run towards the shore line, studying it carefully for the marble coloured shells, that her Dad always said were his favourites. Summer sat down contently on the sand watching her happily run around frantically looking for the small shells to show her Dad. Summer realized for the first time that day, and could feel the baby move around inside her, still not getting used to that odd feeling, but yet so excited.
Marissa wandered endlessly around Newport, she did notice a few of the peoples she passed heads turn. Now her time for not getting noticed was up, she may as well get over what she came here to do, she had already checked out of the hotel and was just absorbing some of the Newport air before she went back to see her Mom.
Marissa again thought back to all of the memories she had on this beach. She thought about the one time that that Kevin Volchuck guy had hung around with her after her and Ryan broke up, Marissa laughed at her naivety, wondering what ever happened to that waster.
Her eyes travelled around the few people that were on the beach early on a Sunday morning, couples sunbathing, the traditional Newport surfer, dogs running along the public beach, two teenagers gossiping in their Juicy Sweats and big sunglasses gossiping about their big night previous. Marissa Hadn't even realised that when she was wandering across the beach, she was wandering towards her best friend, the one she used to gossip with, the one that she thought we always be there for her. A few steps in front of her was Summer, her Summer Roberts. She looked different, she looked happy really happy. She still looked stylish as ever, with the bronze skin and impeccable taste in clothes, now she looked a little bit bigger than she did when they last saw each the. Marissa remembered her Mom sending her over some pictures from Summer's wedding, careful not to include any of Ryan or Ottilie though. She did know that Summer was a radiant bride and she wished she hadn't burnt that bridge. They had been friends their whole life's, and yet she seemed so alien only a few feet away. Marissa plucked up her courage and walked a few steps closer, Summer looked up, to see what was causing her block from the sun, to see her stepsister, her Marissa, her Coop.
"Hey" Marissa broached her first, Summer's face was unreadable, which was odd for her, she used to have an emotion written across her face in a millisecond, but it looks like a lot has changed since.
"So its true then." Summer said, her eyes dead straight on Ottilie, making sure not to loose her niece.
"What's true" Marissa asked sadly, she felt intimidated by Summer, and a little worried about what she would say.
"Your back" Summer said, still not moving to face her again.
"Well it sure looks that way," Marissa said, removing her sunglasses and sitting next to Summer on the beach , smiling at her, hoping to break the thick ice between theme.
"So how long for?" Summer asked her timidly.
"Ermm I don't know yet, Jakes filming doesn't end for a while" This was really hard for Marissa, never had her and Summer had such a conversation that was so distant and cold.
"So your planning to just see her until then?" Summer questioned her, they both knew what she was talking about, and Marissa bowed her head not wanting to cry in front of her. Summer although had her eyes fixed on the little girl playing by the shore line, unbeknownst to Marissa.
"If he lets me then yeah….I hope to at least-"
"Why did you just go Marissa?" Summer asked her out of the blue. She had been wanting to ask her for years but had never gotten around to it.
"I mean you just left," Summer said holding back some tears, Marissa had seen this before, when she talks, and her voice gets higher and squeakier and she takes deeper breathes to stop the tears from falling out.
"I had to Sum, I was sick I…-" Marissa tried to make excuses for herself, but there was no point, she knew she wasn't about to win Summer over anytime soon.
"I know that, I mean, wy did you just go away, never phone me? Never write?" Summer wiped a tear a way which made Marissa feel even worse.
"I just, things were--"
"I had to find out about you from magazines and interviews and what Julie passes on, you were my best friend for 18 years Marissa" Summer wiped her eyes, and didn't see Ottilie walking back to them.
"Summer I'm sorry, that's all I can say, I'm sorry for everything, I am not the same person as when I left, I know that now, but I am here, and I am willing to change and try again with everything, Ryan knows how I feel, I just want a second chance, please Sum" Marissa wiped her eyes as well, and Summer felt anger
"Only my friends call me Sum, and as far as I'm concerned I have never seen you before, except for when your plastered all over the National Enquirer" Summer said venomously and looked at Marissa.
"You don't mean that Sum, we were best friends our entire lives, I told you first about Ottilie, you where there with me when I give birth, I can't pretend like you don't exist, I just can't" Marissa should have been shocked about how Summer was acting, but that was Summer's way, she would always hurt someone else before they could hurt her.
"You do a pretty good job of it, pretending we don't exist I mean, I mean you 'lost' your baby didn't you?" Marissa looked her in the eye, not believing that her best friend was saying all of this to her.
"I did that to protect her, I did all of it for her Summer." they both held each others stare, as if challenging the other, Marissa hadn't suspected her hardest person to deal with would be her best friend, but it has turned out to be a rather odd weekend, so anything can happen.
"A,A,A,Auntie Sum" Both of the women turned their heads almost automatically, faced with a confused little girl. Marissa's heart leapt, ,Summer could see the visible change in Marissa's attitude, sure she had a few tears the crept out of her eyes, but she would have to be blind to not see the smile that appeared on her face. Summer put a reassuring hand on her own stomach, too caught up int eh Mother/Daughter moments.
"Are you, erm, are you?" Ottilie stuttered, her eyes transfixed on Marissa. Marissa looked at the little girl, the perfect image of the blonde little girl. She had the bluest eyes, Marissa could definitely see herself in her, more so than at the diner yesterday .
"So your really my Mom" Ottilie asked nervously, Marissa looked at Summer for guidance, but Summer was expressionless. As Summer viewed the situation, everyone was tense, everyone was on edge, but yet everyone was so happy, at least Ottilie and Marissa appeared to be
"Hey" Marissa whispered softly, Ottilie walked closer to her, holding out her hand, displaying her finds.
"Hi" Ottilie suddenly become nervous, Summer was watching her every move, knew what she was feeling, it was overwhelming for a child to know what to do, but Summer was proud, Ottilie was handling it well so far.
"You can have one if you want" Marissa nodded happily and took one from her daughter,
"Thank you sweetie, there gorgeous, did you find them here?" Marissa asked her, Summer could tell she was nervous also, maybe not handling it as well as the 5 years old. The hormones in her body wanted to help them both, give them a what they both wanted, but then there was Ryan, she was torn, and didn't know where her loyalties should lie.
"Yeh, I did, you can have them if you want, I have some more in my bag look. Grandma said it used to be yours, you can have it back if you like" Ottilie said trying to be nice, she showed Marissa her bag from Summer and opened her bag to show more of the collections she found earlier in the day. Ottilie bent down to open the contents of her bag next to Marissa's, and show her each individual item, including old make up, and old tiffany box, things that she found on the beach and her Uncle Seth's old Blackberry that she liked to pretend was hers.
"What, what do I call you?" Ottilie asked more relaxed, she had now sat on Marissa's lap, fiddling with her hair, Summer had kept quiet the whole time, now wondering when she should speak up.
"Well, erm, you can call me Mommy I suppose" Marissa said, taking a side glance at Summer, as if to double check. Ottilie gave her Mom a big hug, it made Summer's eyes water, not knowing how long Marissa would be like this for.
"OTTILIE" All 3 of the women turned round immediately recognising the voice. Summer was first to jump to her feet, and make her way over to him while Ottilie, instead of moving, snuggled closer to Marissa, not wanting to leave her newly found Mom.
"Ryan, she just came, look I don't think you should-"
"She's my daughter Summer," Ryan said with conviction, heading to over where they both were sitting, ignoring Marissa, he bent down to pick up all of Ottilie's things she had tipped into the sand, then holding his hand out to Ottilie.
"Come on Otty , we have to go home now," Ryan briefly looked Marissa in the eye but turned away not wanting to deal with her at the moment.
"I don't want to go" Ottilie said her bottom lip trembling, holding onto Marissa. Marissa stood up and placed the younger girl on the sand, holding onto her hand.
"I want to stay with Mommy," Ottilie then said more determined, and began to cry.
"I can take her if you want Ry," Marissa said offering her hand, although she only got a glance in response
"That's not necessary I can handle my own daughter, I said were going Ottilie, come on" Ryan was beginning to lose patience in himself, he had done everything he ever could for his daughter, yet she still loved Marissa more.
"IM NOT GOING WITH YOU I WANT TO STAY WITH MOMMY" Ottilie said to him, loosing her own patience, Ryan laughed to himself, there's the Cooper in his daughter.
"Ryan I really am capable you know" Marissa said, making herself heard.
"O yeah because you know loads about children" Ryan said sardonically, Marissa raised her eyebrows at him
"Your both acting like children, look Ryan I will stay with both of them for the rest of the day, and then I will bring Ottilie home to LA tonight, I promise you" Ryan turned to Summer, she was trying her best to please everyone, and that was the only way he was going to be able to do this without a scream fest on Newport Beach.
"I would really like that" Marissa said earnestly,
"Its not about what you want Marissa, its about Ottilie," Ryan bent down to her level
"Is that what you want sweetie?" Ottilie shook her head and wiped a tear, Ryan kissed her temple and sighed in defeat.
"Fine, if that's the only way we can do this" He sighed and said bye to Ottilie, and thanked Summer
"I will see you back at home later then" He began to walk off with slumped shoulders, all of them knew he would spend the day brooding , they all knew him too well.
"Come on, we should probably go get some food" Summer said picking up her bag,
"Thanks Sum" Marissa said thankfully
"I told you, only my friends call me Sum" Marissa looked down, and saw Ottilie smiling brightly up at her, at least she had pleased her daughter, that was her main concern in all of this. She picked Ottilie up to carry her, making sure she had her Chanel bag, remembering how much her Mom had paid for that bag when she was younger, while Ottilie kissed her cheek and told her joke that Marissa laughed animatedly at, they all had to pretend, pretend this was easy, for the sake of the little girl they all cared so much about.
This was quite hard for me to write
Hope I did it justice
Let me know guys
xoxo