A/N:I own nothing. Must I remind you to review? =D please?
Nineteen
I only sat there a few moments before I jumped up again. I walked over to the…body and knelt beside it. Long, scraggly black hair, rough features, it was a man. Or it used to be. He couldn't have been any older than I was, maybe even younger. And now he would never have the chance to grow older, never have the chance to do anything. Because I took that away from him. I killed him.
I heard them all approaching, heard their sharp intakes of breath, felt the shock radiating off of them all. They would hate me for sure now, disown me, and maybe even kill me. For whatever reason, I knew this was intolerable. I was not supposed to kill people, but I had. I stayed right where I was, afraid to move, afraid to breathe, afraid to blink. If they tried to attack me, could I outrun them? Probably not, after all, I am only one person, they are five. The first to approach me was Jasper. He had a look of such…guilt all over his face, Edward was beside him. He wouldn't even look at me. He just kept staring at the boy I had murdered.
"I killed him." I whispered, staring back down. "It was an accident, he just…he smelled so good, and I didn't know what it was until it was too late. I didn't know it was person…I…I had no idea until I'd already…I killed him." I explained as quietly as I could manage. I did not understand why no tears would come, I felt so bad, I wanted to cry and I couldn't. Surely they wouldn't believe it was an accident if I couldn't even cry! What kind of person who feels this badly for something doesn't cry?
"It wasn't your fault Bella, these things happen." Alice stated, kneeling next to me. "Like you said, you didn't know it was a…person until it was too late. Your instincts took over, it happens to every newborn. It was not your fault." She said fiercely. I snorted, and stood up. I was about to say something, when I was hit like a ton of bricks with memories. All of them containing me and the vampires standing before me, and one of Jacob. I sat there, in a stunned silence, taking it all in.
"Bella?" Edward whispered, stepping towards me. I quickly jumped up and backed away. "Don't. Touch. Me." I growled, raising a hand between us. He had done this to me. He had turned me into this…this monster! I glanced back down at the body, and froze. I had killed Jacob Black. I had killed my rapist. Should I have felt better about this? I shouldn't have felt for killing him, right? I mean, he did a horrible thing to me, so why should I feel guilty for having killed him? I should have happy, ecstatic even! He was dead! He couldn't hurt me anymore, yet I wasn't. I was…miserable. I felt so terrible for doing this to him. No one deserved to die…not for anything short of killing someone. I deserved to die.
"Bella, we need to get you home and cleaned up okay? We can talk about this after while." Rosalie stated, coming closer. My trance was broken as she took my arm. I let her lead me to their home; I showered, and went to bed without dressing. I had to get away from here. I could not stay here, with him. I loved him, more than anything, but he had made into something I never wanted to be. I wasn't sure I could forgive him for that, ever.
EPOV-
What had I done? My Bella, my innocent Bella had killed someone. Granted, Jacob deserved a worse fate than death, but not from Bella. I had turned into …me. A monster. She didn't even remember who I was! Alice said she would forgive me, but she'd been wrong before. I made my way downstairs for the meeting Carlisle had called, feeling nothing but remorse and shame for what I'd done to her. I knew I wasn't good for her, this just further proved my point.
"Edward! Don't you dare try that stunt again!" Esme scolded, yanking me down into the seat next to hers. Damn Alice and her stupid visions. I couldn't stay away from her anyway. I didn't trust anyone but me to look after her. Especially not now.
"We have to leave. It's too risky staying here; the treaty is of course broken. They'll try to kill Bella, and we can't have that. We can go to the house in Alaska until we find something more permanent. Or, we can just stay there. We can't ever return to Forks, sadly. But, that's a price we're willing to pay for Bella's sake." Carlisle stated, looking from to the other of us.
"We should leave at dusk. I'll go help Bella pack her things, and get her settled down. You all go pack, we can't wait any longer. Who knows if they even knew Jake was gone, either way it wont' take long for them to realize he's missing. We do not want to be around for that." Alice stated, jumping up. "I'll come with you." Rose said, following Alice.
"Wait, you two go pack. I need to speak with her, and it shouldn't wait any longer. After all, you moved her things into my room. It would make more sense for me to go, that way we're all packing at once." I said, running past them leaving no room for debate. I could hear Alice in my head, telling me to be strong. I snorted. If I was strong, I would have stayed away from her to begin with. This all could have been avoided that way.