The Days After I Lost You

A/N- Disclaimer: Characters belong to Kelley Armstrong! Roxy, Po and Lani belong to Bookworm1807

R&R People it's all about the Reading&Reviewing!

Derek's Party was 10 Days ago.

Previously In RANDOM Persons POV

As the lights are turned down and darkness sweeps into her vision she can't tell where the light goes. She struggles against the hold she has but it'll never break. So she'll sit there and wait, wait for the thumping of feet, the squeaking of doors, the rustling of flowers and the scraping of chair legs. She'll wait another day as she always does because that's all she has to look forward too, and if she didn't have anything to look forward to then she'd simply give up.

I stood there staring down at her. With only 22 days to go until...that day and the closer it got the harder it became to see her. Her hands were still cold, her eyes closed like she was sleeping and yet she wasn't.

Her hair was clean and brushed every day by one of the nurses. Glass vases sat on every table full of various flowers, there was a few of us that new her favorites were sunflowers and placed then near her bed.

"Hey Derek!" Looking behind me I noticed Lani walk in her new hair color this week a bright strawberry red which brightened up the depressing room. In her hands she held more sunflower which put my own to shame.

"Hey." I tried to make my voice sound cheerful but it just sounded dull and upset.

"She looks better." Lani moved to stand on the other side of Chloe reaching to take her right hand.

"She'll never wake up will she." I whispered letting go of Chloe's hand.

"Don't say that Derek! If you don't believe she'll never wake up!"

"I don't want to keep believing only to lose all my faith." I replied standing up. I glanced down at my unconscious mate,

"Derek-"

"Make sure they keep the sunflowers closer then the tulips. She likes sunflowers."

"You're not coming back here are you?" I shook my head as I leaned down to kiss frozen cold unmoving lips one last time. Pulling away from her I turned and walked out the door forcing myself not to look back at the love of my life.

Day 19:

It's hard.

I'm not going to say it's not cause that would be a lie.

I try to forget, try to pretend that she's already gone but it's not that easy.

I know she's there and I want to see her, I know how much it'll hurt.

Every time I see her my heart is ripped out.

I can't.

I have to stay away.

It's better for me to stay here.

I'll never forget her though.

That smiling face.

Bright blue eyes.

I love you Chloe.

Day 16:

Dad's trying to convince me to see her.

He doesn't understand how much it hurts.

He thinks it's so easy to see her laying there.

He believes that I can bring her back or some other bullshit.

Tori wants me to go as well, she's just like Dad.

I love them all.

Right now I just need to be alone.

I need my space.

I need to grieve in my own ways.

Though I try not to cry as I write this the sheet becomes damp and my writing is blurred.

I wish it was easier sometimes.

At moments like this I wish she was fine.

I wish I hadn't hit her.

I wish I'd chased after her back then and not missed so much time.

Yet.

When I think of it, I wouldn't be who I am with out this happening.

Is it wrong to be proud of who I am now when I lose who I need.

Who I love.

Is being me even worth it.

Without her around?

I love you Chloe.

Day 13:

I love her.

It's a mantra that spins in my head.

I love her.

Every word is true.

I need her.

Every moment away from her kills me.

I can't move on.

Yet I need too.

Chloe where are you?

I need you too lead me.

I need you to be my guide.

My star.

The light is dark now and there is no path.

My Chloe.

Can their be no happiness without you here.

I knew that one day you would be gone,

but what hurts the most is knowing I will never see you again,

I will never hear your voice again,

and I will never feel your touch again...

oh how I miss you so.

Karen Kostyla

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,

love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Unknown

I love you Chloe.

I hadn't seen Chloe in days it was now day 11 and nothing had changed. No one was convincing me to go see her anymore they all accepted my choice but filled me in on everything that was going on. I always sent flowers over with Tori and anyone else who was heading out to see her. The closer the date got the more I closed down, I asked Tori to move out for a few months. My house became more depressing as every photo of Chloe saddened me and I ended up taking them down one by one, placing them in my basement. There was only a few that I could sit and stare at forever to remind me of the good old days. The day was circled by Tori onto the calender which didn't help with my grieving.

Drinking was programed into me now, ever time I thought of the day or of her in that bed I'd pick up a beer or two. Not that I was an alcoholic I just liked to have a few drinks every now and then.

There was no quickened steps, squeaking doors, rustling flowers, scraping chair legs no deep voice softly saying her name and telling her about his day. Though she waited as the lights came on and went off. What happened, did something happen? Where was the mysterious man who held her hand warming her heart kissed her lips making her feel like she belonged. The longer she waited the more devastated she got and slowly day by day she began to give up and give in, until the light engulfed her completely.

PM: Sorry for the shortness.

Raksha Souza

You can do it you have all the weapons you need.

NOW FIGHT!