I don't own Naruto or the Halo books but I do own the OCs.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

Sound effects

"Comm Chatter"

Demon talking

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: That's Gotta Hurt!

Time: 5:43 (5:43 am)

Date: 6/24/12 AK

Location: Konoha's Northern Gate

Tyler, Shino, Hinata, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Tsunade were waiting for Kurenai, Robert, and Tazuna to come to the north gate. Kakashi was still injured from being a live-human piñata, so he wouldn't make it until half-way through the mission.

"They're here," Shino said informing the group in his usual monotone voice.

Everyone else shifted their bored gaze toward the main road to see Kurenai looking rather sheepish at Robert who held Tazuna's collar in his right hand, towing the sleepy eyed man toward the group. When Robert and Kurenai got to the main group he lifted Tazuna effortlessly, still holding on to his collar, and placed him standing up in front of the group.

Tazuna let out a loud yawn and creaked his eyes open. He looked to his left, then right before he looked at Kurenai. "How did I get here?" he asked rubbing the sleepers out of his eyes.

"I dragged you," Robert said crossing his arms. "You didn't wake up after Kurenai-sensei and I knocked on your hotel room door several times. So I snuck, in, grabbed your stuff and dragged your sleepy carcass here," he finished a bit irritated.

Tyler let out a long, quiet sigh. 'Great, he's grumpy today,' he thought rubbing the back of his helmet. He and Robert got this way at least once a month because of their enhancements, some kind of unforeseen side-effect. Their testosterone levels are higher than normal during that day making them more aggressive, ill-tempered, and grumpy.

Tazuna yawned loudly again. "Ok," he said not caring, again rubbing the sleepers out of his eyes while walking towards Tsunade.

"What's with him, Shino?" Sakura asked in a whisper to her teammate.

Shino paused for a couple seconds, before lifting his gaze towards the curious female. "My bugs tell me they are picking up a higher than normal trace of testosterone level coming from underneath his armor," he explained.

"Oh…," Sakura said understanding.

"Can we start the mission now?" Sasuke asked impatiently, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets.

"Yeah," Naruto said agreeing with his black-haired teammate, putting his hands behind his head. "I want this mission done so Hinata and I can get some Ramen when we get back."

"Alright, alright," Tsunade said walking up to the main gate and stopping in front of the overly sized doors. "Open this door or I'll break it down," she threatened cracking her knuckles.

The gate guard Chunnin panicked, knowing full well that Tsunade could really knock down the doors, and stumbled over their feet trying to get the gates open.

Tsunade smiled when the gates opened fully and turned around to look at the two teams. "Ok," she started putting her hands on her hip. "Onward to the Land of Waves," she shouted pumping her fist into the air.

Mission Time: 6hrs 22mins

Time: 12:05 (12:05 pm)

Date: Unchanged

Location: Konaha Trade Route #16

"Are we there, yet?"

"NO!!!"

Tyler and Naruto have been playing the 'Are we there yet?' game for the past four hours. To say the least, everyone was getting annoyed with the so called 'game'. Robert and Tsunade were thinking that they were just doing to see who would crack first ,being the pranksters they were.

The formation they were in was pretty simple. It was a basic diamond shape that surrounded a smaller diamond shape around Tazuna. The outer diamond consisted of Hinata up front with Robert at the opposite end. Naruto was on the left side of the formation with Sasuke at the opposite end, thus finishing the outer layer of the diamond. The second layer consisted of Shino in front of Tazuna with Tyler behind the bridge builder. Tsunade and Kurenai were on the left of Tazuna with Sakura to the right of him, next to Sasuke, finishing the inner layer.

Hinata and Robert had their Dojutsus active, taking very quick sweeps of the area while Shino's bugs were acting as scouts. Sasuke was also helping, using his Sharingan in quick flashes for any genjutsus despite the constant chatter from Sakura. Everyone else was keeping a sharp eye out for anything suspicious.

Hinata raised her hand to head level holding up five fingers before it went into a fist and then held out two fingers. Sasuke, Naruto, Robert, and Tyler nodded; they knew what the signal meant -'Two possible targets were up ahead.'

Robert reactivated his bloodline to confirm the possible targets. As Hinata said, two idiots were trying to pass themselves off as puddles of water when it hadn't rained in weeks.

'That's not very smart,' Robert thought as he repeated Hinata's signal. Sasuke, Naruto, and Tyler looked back at Robert, waiting for their orders. Robert obliged by raising his right hand, turning it into a fist, and pummeled the fist into his left hand two times; the SPARTAN's 'Get Ready' signal.

Naruto, Hinata, and Sasuke nodded while Tyler's acknowledgement light flashed once inside Robert's helmet. Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata reached into their kunai pouches, took out their Scouters, and placed them over their right ears.

Shino raised his eyebrow at the devices before he looked ahead and saw the two 'puddles'. An extremely small smirk creased his lips. 'I see now,' he thought telling his bugs to get ready for a fight.

"Hey, look!" Tyler shouted pointing at the closest puddle with his right hand. "A puddle!" Tyler finished running strait towards the small body of water. When Tyler was about 20 feet away he jumped up, chakra enhancing its height to 40 feet into the air before saying, "CANNONBALL!!!!!"

BOOM!!! (A/C: That's gotta hurt!!!)

Tyler had landed his ass right on top of the so called 'puddle' making a one meter diameter crater, making the group flinch at the large mark. "Hey, what gives?" Tyler pouted playfully while looking around the area where he landed. "Where's the water?"

"I think you landed on something," Hinata said walking up to Tyler while being followed by the group.

"I did?" Tyler asked removing his butt from where the 'puddle' was and knelt down next to it. "One way to find out," he said raising his right hand and punched the center of the one meter crater, making his arm go through the ground. Tyler felt his hand touch some kind of fabric, grabbed it, and pulled it out from the hole. After the bundle of fabric was fully out of the ground Tyler carelessly dropped.

"What is it?" Naruto asked squatting down to get a better look at the large clump of fabric.

Sasuke scoffed. "Well it 'was' a shinobi," he said crossing his arms.

"Hey Sasuke," Tyler started getting Sasuke's attention. "Get me a stick, would ya?" he finished, not looking up at Sasuke.

"Why? Sasuke asked raising an eyebrow.

Tyler looked away from the big clump of fabric and looked at Sasuke. "I want to poke it, duh!" he said sarcastically.

"Here you go, Tyler," Sakura said handing out a foot long stick to Tyler.

"Thanks, Sakura" Tyler said as he took the stick from her, looked back at the large clump of fabric, and poked it twice, nothing happened. He poked it two more times, it started to twitch, a lot. "Awww… It is twitching!" (A/C: O.O)

"Hey! Look what I found," Robert said from behind the group.

Both teams 7 and 8 looked away from the twitching corpse to see Robert holding up a ninja in his right hand with a mist headband tied around his forehead with some sort of gasmask covering his nose and mouth. He wore a large cloak that covered him from his shoulders down to his feet, so they couldn't really see what he looked like under the cloak. However both arms were clearly visible hanging limp. A regular fingerless glove covered the ninja's left hand, while a finger bladed gauntlet was on his right hand. The ninja himself had a large bump on his head, about the size of a watermelon to be exact.

"Where did you find him?" Tsunade asked looking at the unconscious nin.

"I punched the other 'puddle' ahead of us and I hit this guy on top of the head," Robert explained.

"And you punched a puddle, why?" Kurenai asked crossing her arms.

Robert looked away from the group. "I was curious," he said dropping the nin making a notable thunk when he hit the ground.

10 mins later

Both teams 7 and 8 were around one of the trees near the road. Both of the enemy nins were tied up to a tree still unconscious from the impacts they had received.

"What should we do with them?" Sakura asked looking at the beaten up nins.

"I say we dress them up into life-size Barbie dolls," Tyler said rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"What's a 'Barbie Doll?" Kurenai asked. She remembered playing with dolls when she was young, but she never heard of the Barbie series.

"You'll see," Robert said evilly before grinning evilly at Tyler. "You got the wigs?"

Tyler smiled from ear to ear underneath his helmet. "Yup," he started, pulling out two wigs and a tube of red lipstick from behind his back. "I've been waiting to do this to someone for over 13 years," he finished walking up to the tied up nins.

He almost had the first wig on one of the nins but groaned mumbling, "Did someone get the number of that Tanker ship?"

"DAMN IT!" Tyler shouted in anger throwing the wigs down to the ground. "That happens every time!"

"Don't worry," Robert said patting his friends shoulder sympathetically. "There is always next time," he finished, walking up to the only conscious mist-nin and kneeling to one knee.

"What do you want?" the barley conscious nin said, his head wobbling from side to side like a bobble head.

"Easy," Robert said looking at the nin. "I will give you one of three choices, 1) You tell us what we want to know and well ask Ibiki to go easy on you, 2) I'll try a new technique on you, or 3) I give you one of my patented SPARTAN Super-Mega Wedgies and make you talk," he finished off venomously and cracking his knuckles.

"Dude, just tell us man!" Tyler said pleading to the nin. "You DO NOT want one of his SPARTAN Super-mega wedgies. They hurt like Hell!"

"What's a wedgie?" the second nin asked, regaining consciousness and looking at teams 7 and 8.

"He shouldn't have said that…" Naruto whispered to Sasuke and Shino.

Sasuke, Shino, and Sakura looked at each other questioningly before they looked at Naruto and asked, "Why?"

"Watch," Hinata said pointing at the two doomed nins, making the rest of the group look at them.

"You want an example?" Robert asked before he smiled evilly and walked over to the tied up nin that asked the question. He then placed his right hand on the nins left shoulder and placed his left hand on the nins pants.

"Hey, what are you-?"

RRRRRIIIIPPPP!!!!!!!!!

(Loud High-pitch Girly Scream)

Robert had raised the nins undergarment to the nearest branch above his head; making the height about one meter above 6ft. Tyler paused for a few seconds, wincing at the enormance amount of pain the nin must be in, then said, "Hey, look at that… ." He started pointing at the nins undergarments, "He's wearing pink hearts briefs!"

"What a pansey," Sasuke said getting over initial shock that someone's undergarments can stretch that high.

Sakura blinked, looked at Sasuke questioningly and asked, "What's a pansey?"

Sasuke smacked his forehead with his right hand. "And you were suppose to be the smart one in the class," he said dully.

The second nin looked up at the group, tears forming around the edges of his eyes. "Help…me…," he pleaded his voice sounding like he was breathing in helium.

Naruto walked up to the wedgied nin and squatted in front of him. "Hey, you're the one who asked for the instant thong," he said heartily, patting the nins head several times

"Hey… At least he wasn't wearing a thong already," Tyler said, looking at Robert.

Naruto raised an eyebrow and looked at his far taller friend. "Why would a guy wear a thong?" he asked.

Robert released the nins undergarments, causing it to whip lash when it hit the nin making him cry out again, and looked at Naruto. "Obviously you never given a drag queen a wedgie," he said walking up to the first mist nin.

Tyler shuddered at the memory, "And I still have nightmares about it."

"W-w-what are you going to do to me…?" The nin asked, hoping he wouldn't suffer the same fate as his brother.

Robert knelt down in front of the nin, grabbed his chin with his left hand, forcing the nin to look up into Robert's visor. "What are you…" was all he nin said before teams 7 and 8 saw him relax and his eyes glowed a dark green. The glow lasted for 6 seconds before his eyes returned to normal and rolled backwards into his skull, unconscious.

Robert then released the nins chin, stood up, and walked towards the group. "He his brother, and leader, a missing mist nin named Zabuza, were hired by a big merchant tycoon named Gato to take out Tazuna there," hetarted making Tazuna's jaw drop. "They don't know why they want him taken out, but the sum of completing the mission was quite large," he finished stopping in front of the group, making them look at the man.

"Is this true, Tazuna-san?" Kurenai asked a small amount of venom in her voice.

Tazuna sighed.

Sorry it took so long, had writers block. I hope you like it.

Anyways, please read & review.

Until next time, This is SPARTAN-251, Signing off...(Click)