Hi everyone! Thanks for the last chapter's reviews, i love all of your responses

Apologies for it being pasted 3 times. I am so not sure why that happenned :S

Anyway on with the story - and Happy Halloween for friday!

xoxo

" Mommy, Daddy?"

Marissa began to cry at Ottilie's small and tired voice, thank god she was ok, Ottilie tried to open her eyes a little bit, but they kept drooping and become heavy. Ryan moved to her side, Marissa could tell just by looking at him, that he was choked up with emotion. He reached Ottilie's hand and stroked it softly.

"Its ok, baby, Daddy's here" Ryan said to her reassuringly, she tried to smile when he held her hand but Ryan shook his head, telling her not to, not if she was too tired.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" Marissa asked her quietly, Ottilie just continued to stare in Ryan's direction.

"Ottilie?" Marissa asked her stroking her other hand. Ryan noticed the awkwardness, and didn't know what to do.

"Daddy, where am I?" Ottilie asked him, Marissa noticed that she was being ignored , and began to silently cry. Ottilie didn't want Marissa that much was obvious.

"You were swimming don't you remember, I came home, and you were under the water?" Marissa asked her, trying to get through to her, it was the first time since Marissa had came home from New York that Ottilie had refused to be around her. Ryan stood there, unknowing of what to do. Ottilie shook her head and stayed in Ryan's arms, staring into space over his shoulder. Marissa looked at him worried and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe I should go get a doctor" Marissa suggested. When she opened the door of Ottilie's room, Seth and Summer both came straight in happy to see she was awake. Ottilie immediately left Ryan's hand, and leaned straight towards Summer and hugged her just as tightly. When Marissa re-entered she looked confused to why Ottilie was happy hugging everyone else except her.

"Is Sarah with you?" Seth asked Ryan and he shook his head, Marissa looked straight at the floor, feeling like an outsider, as she watched her daughter act with everyone else bar her, and to see the man she was sure she loved, and had just kissed, talk about his girlfriend.

"She will be here soon" Ryan said raising his eyebrows, as if asking Seth to stop talking, Seth took the hint and Summer became worried for her friends.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" Summer asked her niece, as she sat on her lap. Ottilie shrugged her shoulders again, and hugged tighter into Summer. Ryan noticed Marissa's sad expression,

"Come sit with us Riss" He said, trying to extend an olive branch 'Why are you sending her mixed signals?' he asked himself whilst Ottilie and Summer looked at her expectantly. Marissa moved tentatively towards the bed, and smiled to Ottilie.

"We were so worried baby" Marissa breathed, hoping Ottilie would leave Summer's arms and come to her own. But to her sadness, she carried on staring at all of them not speaking.

"Ottilie," Ryan asked her, she began to cry lightly, and Ryan quickly was there to soothe her, He stood up, with Ottilie wrapped around him as he rubbed small circles on her back. Marissa stood next to him and rubbed Ottilie's back also, but it did no good, she was still ignoring her.

"I'm sorry" Ottilie squeaked quietly, Ryan and Marissa both looked at each other, Ottilie appeared to be fine, if she was apologising for swimming where she knew she shouldn't, everything in her memory was intact.

"O baby it was an accident, its not your fault ok" Marissa said trying to comfort her. Ottilie nodded and Marissa kissed her forehead, when the doctor came in.

"Miss Atwood, how are you feeling today" The young lady asked her, Ottilie nodded shyly and took a place between Ryan and Marissa.

"I know its scary honey, but I have to run some tests with you?" She stuck out her hand and smiled at her, Ottilie nestled further towards her father, knowing whenever she was with Ryan, he would let no harm come towards her.

"I'm real sorry, to take you away from your Mom and Dad, but I promise it wont take to long, you will be back here before you know it, and back home soon enough. My name's Angela" Ottilie sighed and shyly took the lady's hand. She looked back at Ryan and Marissa with a sad look on her face.

"We will be right here, when you get back baby" Ryan reassured her, she stuck her thumb in her mouth for some comfort, and slowly walked with the nurse.

"We are just going to get some coffee guys" Summer said, not so subtly dragging Seth with her, to leave Ryan and Marissa alone to talk. When it was just them, it felt like the biggest elephant in the room, and neither knew how to fix it. Marissa looked at Ryan awkwardly, wondering whether she should start talking first.

"So how did it all happen?" Ryan asked her curiously, he had started to look out of Ottilie's window over LA, concentrating on the fast moving lights of the cars to distract himself.

"I'm not sure, I was out and she was swimming, I made sure she had her floats on and--" Marissa tried to reason

"If you left her, then she definitely took the floats off, she likes to think she's braver than she is."

"I didn't know she would"

"Where's you sense in leaving a 5 year old alone in a pool Marissa?" Earlier that night he seemed so helpful, so ready to protect them, she knew it was to good to be true, and now this, he was reacting how she had expected, and she desperately wanted to change it, back to the way things were.

"I don't know I, she was with Jake I thought she was ok, she was in the small pool and--"

"She could of died Marissa! You didn't even phone me!!" Ryan turned to face her and Marissa began to cry again, she already knew it was her fault, she had taken that blame, but it hurt a lot more Ryan blaming her.

"It was an accident, and Jake phoned you! He told me he--" Marissa shook her head as she realised Jake hadn't phoned him and felt even more guilty, she wasn't sure how he found out at all, but she knew it should have been from her.

"I'm sorry" Ryan said to her unexpectedly looking at her,

"I'm sorry too, your right it is my fault"

"I'm sorry for accusing you, Its just, she's my baby, I raised her and,"

"Ouch Ryan" Marissa said shaking her head, knowing what he was getting at, using her going away for a long time against her again.

"No Marissa I didn't mean that, she's just as much yours as-"

"But she never will be all mine will she? Because you raised her, because you have the say so, because its when she's under my care she comes to harm!!!"

"I never said that Marissa! Your twisting things here!"

"You may as well have Ryan, ugghh, this is so you, I had honestly thought that you would help me with this, I thought we could be there for each other! For god sakes, why the hell did you kiss me?" Marissa shouted at him

"I think it was the other way round, you kissed me!"

"I know what it feels like to be kissed Ryan! It was all you" She shouted back childishly, it was always like the old fights, they would shout and argue and then Marissa would cry and be hugged by Ryan, it was a tale as old as time. Although neither of them saw Sarah standing outside the ajar door, overhearing their fight. She cautiously walked forward to make her presence known,

"You kissed her?" Sarah asked her, with her glassy eyes. Ryan sighed and looked at Sarah who was shaking her head at him.

"Sarah it--" Ryan said moving towards her

"You couldn't even be in the same room as her for two seconds without jumping her bones" Sarah said accusingly

"It wasn't like that at all" Ryan said, holding her arms, that she was trying to move away from him.

"It was a mistake" Ryan told her, Marissa felt like she could of died when he said those words, to Ryan she was his mistake. No matter how much she loved him, or wanted him back, she will always be the girl he dated and knocked up when he was a teenager. Sarah looked over to Marissa and could see from her face that he heart was breaking, and took comfort in that fact.

'What the hell did you just say that for you idiot?'

Ryan asked himself.

"Well alright then, but it will not happen again, where's Otty" Sarah caved, She hugged Ryan and smiled knowing that she had not lost Ryan to her, she was winning once again. Marissa didn't quite know what to do, she was stuck in the corner of the room, with Sarah and Ryan, making up for lost time.

"Sarah I think you should wait outside, only family is allowed outside of visiting hours." Marissa told her,

"Then why are you in here then? I mean, you may be her blood mother, but she has never been in the hospital when she's with Ryan and I" Although Ryan was angry at Marissa, he meant it when he kissed her, he did love her. Although too many things were standing in between them. With her there is Jake, and her career, and for him there was Sarah, and the fact that they always end in an arguments and too lose her again would really be too much.

"Well Ryan would be around if you hadn't taken him away from LA, so don't go blaming me you selfish bitch"

"Guys, please stop it" Ryan said in between the two of them

"O so your protecting her now" Sarah asked him incredulously

"All I'm saying, is that Ottilie is fine, she is with doctors now, and us arguing is only weakening us all, it has been a long hard day." Marissa felt the need to be sick, she felt tired and light headed and stressed, and she assumed it was about morning by now, and the sickness does come at odd hours.

"Excuse me Sarah" Marissa said politely as she tried to move past her, Sarah shook her head and stood still.

" No I don't think so, your not running out again? How about you tell Ryan and I how it happened huh, how did our 5 year old nearly drown?, you may not want to admit it Marissa, but you're an unfit Mother!" Marissa shook her head and hit her hard across the face. Ryan stood completely still and Sarah was still in shock

"She is not your five year old, it wasn't you who gave birth to her, and contrary to what you think, I happened to know you DIDN'T raise her, she doesn't call you Mommy, and you have no share in her DNA and you know this, you may think that you can live happily ever after with Ryan and my daughter, but I know that my child wants nothing more than a proper family with her MOM and her DAD, that's why she hated Jake, and that's why I'm sure she despises you, now if you don't mind, I do not want you in this room with us when I get back" Marissa moved straight past her and ran out of the room, her bitchy tone shocking herself, she had never meant to come across that mean, at all. Seth and Summer saw her ran past them and into the toilets, where Summer followed her.

"Coop, are you ok" Summer saw Marissa slam the toilet door. As soon as she heard retching and vomiting she knocked on Marissa's door.

"Coop?" Summer heard the toilet flush and Marissa opened the door, as soon as she saw Summer she fell into her shoulders.

"Summer, I didn't mean for it to happen, I really want to be a good Mom" Marissa said as she cried

"I know you do sweetie, and Ryan knows that"

"Ryan hates me, and I don't blame him, I have always been bad for him, I always ruin him" Marissa said shaking her head and wiping her tears as Summer got her a tissue.

"Sweetie, you gave Ryan the thing he loves most in the world, you gave him Ottilie, and despite his life being slightly difficult, he would not of traded these years for anything. I promise" Summer told her truthfully.

"He has every reason to hate-"

"Marissa if you think for a minute that Ryan hates you, your crazy. I know that you were over a long time ago, but sometimes just at the sound of your name, or your picture, his way changes, just like it always has done," Summer said as she tried to reassure her.

"You should of seen him when the cover of you and Ottilie came out, he may never of told you the response, but it was pride Marissa. He was proud of the both of you, just by the way he was looking at the pictures, you could see it in his face, he loves both of you."

"Summer, he loves Ottilie, not me"

"Riss, you never stop loving your first. I want to say that everything will be ok, but while you are engaged to Jake and he is with Sarah I --"

"Jake and I actually broke up" Marissa whispered quietly, showing Summer her bare left hand

"Oh my god, I'm sorry" Summer said to her newly found best friend

"No, its ok, you never liked him anyway" they both said smiling.

"Well, that's true. Why did you break up?" Summer asked her, as they lent against the counter,

"He found out I was lying to him" Marissa said truthfully, wondering whether she should tell Summer what she was lying about. She had trusted her the first time back when she was pregnant with Ottilie, and they had made up again, and Summer was pregnant as well, They could help each other.

"Summer he found out that I'm pregnant" Summer's face looked shocked then she smiled for her best friend and sister.

"Congrats Coop" Summer said, placing her hand on Marissa's impeccably flat stomach.

"Wait? Why was Jake angry about this?" Summer asked her confused,

"Because, this is news to me also, he can't exactly have kids" Marissa said whilst biting a nail

"oh my god, so its not his?" Summer questioned her

"Nope, I'm in this on my own." Summer held Marissa close as she cried a fresh batch of tears. She really was in it alone, Ryan had practically told her he wanted nothing to do with her, by having Sarah around. She had been pregnant before, she can do it again. She doesn't need Ryan, or at least she thinks she doesn't need Ryan. But then again, she was wrong when she thought she hadnt needed him before, who's to say she isnt incorrect this time over.

R/R everyone =]

xoxo