The surprising thing about this chapter is that a very negative anonymous review forced me to start writing this early so I can reply to him. (Loyal fans, don't get any ideas). I was originally going to update Wednesday night, but juggled my schedule a little to let me release this chapter early.

EpicFail: I admit that I'm a noob writer, making my first story, and am looking for either positive reviews, preferably with things people liked, or negative reviews about what I did wrong that will help me improve my writing skills or story and are worded at least somewhat nicely. Guest's 'No more "believe it" or I'll stop following you' review was near the line, but addressed an issue I myself was conflicted about (how often Naruto should say his catchphrase) and was decently written. But you sir, made an epic fail of a review so bad and rude, you were begging to be removed and made me re-activate "Moderate Reviews". It's like you didn't even read my story at all, but decided "I hate it no matter what I may like or where this author may take the story later." Of the "fifty things [you] found wrong with this *******", how many of these were small grammatical errors or personal nitpicks about the plot? If it's a grammatical problem, tell me so I can go back and fix them. I already admit that I'm a bad writer and many other people could do better with my basic plot. However, unless you are a Fanfic writer, and have written multiple stories with multiple chapters, you have no right to crush people for the simple fact that you love bullying those who don't like the same things as yourself. I've seen dozens other fanfics, quite a few of which were large multi-chapter stories, that had grammar, formatting, plot flow, and plotlines far worse than this story, and I don't see any reviews nearly as bad as what you wrote, and have actually seen praises, favorites, and follows for them. If you don't like a story because of its content that doesn't go against personal beliefs or desires, point out the mistakes and leave. If you hate it for any reason after a few more chapters, simply stop clicking back here for more, rather than give me a higher view count.

For this chapter, I'll try to include some of Angst Potter. But to get in the mood, I decided to watch some of that PotterPuppetPals episode once, then decided to try another source of anger that wasn't satirical. Namely, EpicFail's review. So I guess I have to thank him a little, he sent it at the perfect time! If that was the real reason you sent me that review, I take back everything I said and humbly beg your forgiveness.

Admins, if I have too much 'original text' in a chapter, please give me a warning review/PM with said chapter, and please give me 12 hours to alter it. This will let me remove the questionable material without having to email your support to find out what was wrong and wait a few hours for a response, just to edit the one paragraph that got this story removed.

Now that that's over with, let's obey Arnold Schwarzenegger and "get to the chapta!"

With Dudley still not feeling well, the Dursleys commanded both Harry and Naruto into Harry's room and took him to the hospital. Naruto found it to be a little barren of decoration, simple, and very messy, but had enough room to walk around. While he was exploring his room, Harry was busy writing letters to his friends. Harry needed to let them know he was attacked by dementors, and wanted to know a few things. All of their previous letters had been vague, and said they couldn't visit, nor he could visit them. After sending Hedwig off with the letters, telling her that they should give him the full story or else suffer with her pecks, Harry plopped onto his bed.

After exploring, Naruto decided to talk to the emotional boy. "Those are some mean parents you have Harry." he said, "I'm surprised you haven't ran away from home already."

"They aren't my parents, and I did once! But Dumbledore said I must come back here every summer!" Harry said, angrily, "Petunia Dursley is my aunt. Ever since I arrived here I was treated like their slave. My room was the cupboard under the stairs, and it was often locked and full of sawdust. I had to cook for them, clean for them, do their laundry, and even dust for them! If they wanted to leave the house, they dumped me with Ms. Figg." Remembering her ideas for a good day, namely her cats, Naruto shuddered. "There were many nights where I had to go without food. Everything I got was a hand-me-down from my cousin, Dudley."

"Ouch. I'm sorry I brought it up Harry. At least you have a home and friends."

"Oh really?" Harry spat, "How could your life be worse than mine?"

At that question, Naruto paused. How much should he tell, if he tells at all? Remembering what Dumbledore said about his new past, he started explaining his true past, but with a few tweaks. "Soon after I was born, before my umbilical cord was even removed, a terrible disaster struck my home village. My parents died, the village leader died, many of the council died, and many adults, children, and a large part of the village were lost. The villagers were superstitious, and blamed it on a demon of ancient myth."

At that, Naruto had to pause for two reasons. He had reached a sore subject for himself, and didn't know how to say it, or if he should say it at all. The second reason was said subject. "A MERE MYTH, YOU CALLED ME! COME HERE TO MY CAGE YOU INSOLENT BRAT, AND I'LL SHOW YOU JUST HOW MUCH OF A FANTASY I AM! I'M GOING TO..." "Since I was born literally minutes before the disaster, they thought I was the demon's spawn, or even the very demon in a human disguise." "THERE IS NO WAY I'D SPAWN WITH A FILTHY HUMAN! AND DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME. ME, THE POWERFUL..." "My first and only caretaker was able to protect me for awhile, but later he became the leader of the village and had to leave me to myself.

"I grew up alone and unloved. Parents told other children to stay away from me, and taught them to hate me. The stores never sold me stuff I needed, like proper food or fitting clothing. My home was vandalized many times. Every year, on my birthday, I was chased, hunted, and beaten nearly to death. When I started showing my talents, many cried for my death, and the demon hunts happened almost weekly rather than yearly.

"After a year, I left and meet Pa Toad. He adopted me and taught me ways to improve and control my talents. After many years of travelling and training with him, I ran into you at the graveyard. I then received this wand from Ollivander's." Naruto pulled out his wand, and Harry, who was beginning to calm down, looked at it with interest. "It's shape is a Japanese Kunai, a weapon of death. It's core is the tail hair of a Thestral, which is an omen of bad luck and death. The wood is the exact same as Voldemort's, and can mean great evil and the Dark Arts." Seeing Harry's shocked face, Naruto put his wand away and finished his tale, "No matter where I go and what I do, the day of my birth comes back to haunt me."

Realizing that this cheerful blond had a past far worse than his own, Harry felt nothing but sorrow and pity. If he thought his life was horrible, Naruto's went past rock bottom. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. Nothing is making sense right now, and I took it out on the wrong person." Harry then pulled out his wand for Naruto to see. "The phoenix feather in my wand came from the same bird as the feather Voldemort's wand has."

"I understand Harry, and forgive you. So, are we friends and wand brothers?" With that, they reconciled.

A tapping noise drew their attention. Surprised that Hedwig would return so fast, Harry quickly opened the wndow. But it wasn't her, but a red toad.

Naruto recognized the toad. "Kosuke, is that you?"

"Do I look that much like my brother to you?" When the toad turned around, Naruto noticed that he had the Kanji for Silver written on his back rather than Gold. "My name's Gosuke, and Kashira sent me with a message for you. He says the plan for tonight has changed again. A group that contains a few of Harry's friends will arrive to take you and Harry-san to a safe place. When you get there, remember the address given to you earlier today to see and enter the house."

"Thank you Gosuke. You are dismissed." With that, the toad returned to Mount Myoboku. Turning to Harry, he saw that his friend was confused. "Did you understand him?" Getting a silent no for an answer, Naruto explained. "He had a message from Pa. Pack all your things and get ready to go. Your friends are coming to take us to a safe house."

Thinking that these friends included Ron and Hermione, Harry and Naruto rushed to pack away all the things harry had strewn around the floor and in the drawers into Harry's suitcase. When they were almost done, a huge ruckus came from downstairs. When Harry turned towards the door, Naruto was already through it and approaching the stairs.

Seeing eight wizards and Moody in close quarters, and himself in a crowded stairwell, Naruto figured he was in a bad place to fight if they weren't the escorts. While Naruto knew Moody, he didn't recognize anybody else. But Moody was an impostor before, and could be this time too. So Naruto decided to give them a greeting and see who they were. He quickly threw a Kunai, which lodged itself between Moody's feet, then bolted upstairs out of sight. If that was really Moody, he might recognize it from when NaruClone, Harry, Snape, and Dumbledore rescued him from that weird chest.

He heard a few Shield Charms, but no offense. Then, from downstairs, a gruff voice, the Moody or Moody-impersonator, called out. "Who's there? Is that you Harry?"

"This is Harry's friend. Who are you? You at least should have recognized me and my Kunai, Moody." Naruto replied, as Harry approached. Holding his hand out, Naruto stopped him from being seen.

"Some of us are Harry's friends as well." At that new voice, Harry softly said a name and rushed downstairs.

Idiot. He didn't double-check their identities. Sasuke did a better job than him during the Chunin Exams. What if his friends are all fakes? Naruto got ready to quickly Substitute with Harry and take the intruders on himself. But it wasn't needed; they were the ones who checked Harry's identity. Satisfied that he was the real Harry, they then filled him in on the plan. Seeing as there was no need to fight, Naruto slowly came downstairs.

All nine wizards turned to Naruto. "We should check his identity too. He might be an impostor," the man who was for sure Moody said.

"You were locked in the seventh, and last, lock of your own chest a few months ago. I used my Kunai and Ninja Wire to pull you out. While one of the Kunai was spinning around you, it almost cut open your..."

"That's enough!" Moody barked. "This is the real Naruto all right!" Giving Naruto his full attention, he then pointed to each other person. "They are Lupin, Tonks, Shaklebolt, Doge, Diggle, Vance, Podmore, and Jones. Now, go upstairs and pack your things. Tonks, help them."

"Thanks! This part of the house was looking a little too clean anyways. It's strange, my muggle-born dad isn't nearly as tidy as these muggle blokes." With that, the trio reached Harry's room. "Wow. This place isn't just clean, it's bare! Do you live out of your trunk, or did you know we were coming?"

"Pa sent a messenger. He told us you were coming." Naruto said. "Pa is..."

"Fukasaku right? Dumbledore introduced him to us. Interesting talking toad, using hand signs for jutsu instead of a wand for magic." With that, Naruto was shocked into falling onto the floor. Dumbledore first says to keep ninjas secret, then introduces Pa to so many strangers? Still wandering around the room, Tonks saw her reflection. "You know, violet's not my color. Hmmm..." After a few moments, her hair became bubble-gum pink. "Ah there. Does this look better?"

"Eh, what's that?" Naruto said, getting up from behind her. Turning around to see her, he exclaimed "Sakura-chan, what are you doing here?"

"Who's Sakura?" Tonks asked.

"Sakura's a girl from my old village with naturally bubble-gum pink hair. She's also known for her large forehead and her right hook. She'd often punch me, and often punched hard enough to launch me over the fences."

"Oh sorry! I didn't know you'd react this way." With that, she concentrated, and turned her hair a bright orange. "How does this look?"

"OH YEAH!" Naruto cheered, "THAT'S A COLOR I'LL NEVER GET BORED OF SEEING!" This shout of praise both surprised Tonks and made her blush. However, her blush soon became tomato-red and covered her entire face. "Hey are you feeling OK? Your face suddenly looks feverish." Surprised at this, Tonks quickly returned her face to normal. "Now it's all better! Wait a minute... How'd you do all that? I didn't see you pull out your wand or use a jutsu!"

"Oh, I was born a Metamorphmagus." Seeing Naruto confused, Tonks made it simple, "I can change my looks using only my mind."

"That's cool! I wish I could do it that fast; I have to use a jutsu, but it's noisy and throws up some smoke. An enemy can tell when I try to change, no matter how small."

"Yes... well... we should probably head downstairs. You are all packed, after all." With that, the trio went downstairs and joined the rest of the escort outside.

"Potter! Uzumaki! Listen up. Since Potter still has the Trace, we need to use non-magic means of getting to HQ."

"What's the Trace?" Naruto asked.

"The Trace is a charm that lets the Ministry keep tabs on any young wizard or witch who is around cast magic. It records who was around what spell when and where it was used. Because of this, we can't Apparate or use the Floo, so we'll have to fly on brooms, which don't need a new casting of magic to work. Do you both have your brooms out?" With that, Naruto unsealed his Firebolt, and Harry got his out of the trunk. Seeing both boys holding the latest broom yet, Tonks got stars in her eyes. "Now that that's settled, both of you come over here to be Disillusioned."

"Wait a minute," Naruto interrupted, stepping forward, "First you say 'no spells', then you say 'fire away'? Do we want to alert the Ministry that Harry's around more magic?" Hearing this, many of the company's heads turned towards Moody. Apparently, he had made both of those ideas.

"You've got a point boy. Now get back into formation and stay there! ... Great, we have a clear night, we won't be able to use cloud cover."

Naruto spoke up again. "Even if we can be seen, that just means we'll be able to see our enemies as well. And if it is so clear, we'll know if an enemy is nearby because they'll be casting clouds to hide themselves." All of the other people there stared at Naruto. Not only had he argued with Moody twice, but his arguments made more sense than what Moody had in mind!

"We've got a smart lad here, full of constant vigilance! Now, when we kick off, we'll fly in close formation. Tonks, be in front, Harry behind her, me behind Harry, and Naruto will hover around Harry, between Tonks and myself. Lupin, hover under us, and the rest, circle around and above. Don't break ranks!" With that, he turned to Naruto. "Anything to say, Naruto?"

Thinking quickly, Naruto had one idea. He brought his hands together and formed the Dog, Boar, and Ram. "Transformation Jutsu!" A cloud of smoke appeared, and to the shock of everybody, another Harry was standing where Naruto used to be. "If they want Harry, they'll have to look twice. Hey Tonks, can you transform into Harry too?"

Surprised at the thought of decoys, Tonks shook her head. "He's not my body size, and boys are harder for me to do."

"Why did you do that?" asked Moody, "I thought we both said 'no spells'!"

"Spells use what Dumbledore, Pa, and myself call Mana with some Aura. Chakra, what I did, uses a mix of Aura and Chi. I haven't been caught yet by the Trace, so it must be OK." Seeing the company's confused looks, Naruto said "Pa's working on a book for Hogwarts this year. You can read it for more information."

"Alright then, there's a slight change. Naruto and Harry, hover around each other between Tonks and myself. Don't get into a pattern, vary it up. If we run into trouble, both of you stay together. We'll fight them off. No matter who dies or cannot fly on, don't stop and head East. The rear guard will find and join up with you within five minutes and lead you to HQ." With no response from Naruto, Moody looked towards the sky. "We should be getting the first signal any minute now."

With that said, a shower of red sparks appeared in the sky above them. Angry, Naruto turned to Moody. "I hope that wasn't your idea too. You just sent out a large target for the Death Eaters saying 'Harry Potter and guards around here'."

This time, Moody took on Naruto's challenge. "That was a diversion, to draw out any enemies into following that trail. It also signals us that surrounding guards are still alive and active."

"Or somebody else cast those sparks, or the Death Eaters were lying in wait before the guards set up the perimeter. Would Death Eaters ignore the most likely place a Harry Escort would come from? Not likely at all! If enemies are out for Harry, they'd watch Harry's house. And here we are, in front of the house, in the open, exposed, and waiting for another signal that will likely mean we'd move out of any protective charms you've set up and become aerial sitting ducks."

With that, Moody's face grew a little pale, and his eye started spinning even faster. "Stay in formation, climb straight up quickly within the walls of the protective charm, and get ready to defend Harry!" When green sparks appeared, Moody cried "That's the signal! CLIMB!"

As it turns out, that precaution was unnecessary. Nobody challenged them during either the climb or moving out. Naruto looked over to Harry. His face seemed blissful, and Naruto realized that flying cheered him up like a bowl of Ichiraku's Miso Ramen with Pork Roasted Fillet. When Harry looked over, Naruto smiled at him and started zigzagging. Realizing what he was up to, Harry followed, playing a back and forth game of chase.

"This is no times for games you two!" Moody barked. "Stay on course!"

"We are on course!" The one who must have been Naruto replied, moving in a horizontal circle around the real Harry. "Also, our brooms are much faster than yours. There's no way a little wiggling will make us fall behind! Besides, you're the one that said we should fly in a varying pattern!" Against those foolproof arguments, Moody could do nothing but fume.

"Town ahead! Bear South!" Avoiding the muggles and lights, they flew around the city.

"There's some cloud cover!" Then, remembering Naruto's warning, "Close ranks and bear southwest!"

"Really Moody? Thanks!" Tonks shouted over the wind. "I thought for sure you'd want some cloud cover!"

"Did you forget what I said?" Naruto called out, "There may be Death Eaters waiting in ambush there."

After a long time of flying, with many turns and near 180's called out by Moody, their hands became almost frozen to the broom-handles. Finally, Moody barked out "Let's double back to double-check that we're not being followed!"

"And deliver Harry to them? Are we almost there?" Naruto yelled, "If so, then doubling back will tell them about where HQ is! We should either go in, or send a decoy group to loop around and check for tails!"

Bested by the young blond yet again, Moody yelled out "Doge! Diggle! Vance! Jones! Take Naruto, circle around, and look for tails! If there are any enemies, draw them off towards the rear guard! They will help you defeat the enemy! Harry, stay with us, we're almost there!" And with that, Naruto and his four 'guards' broke off from the main group and started their wide circle.

After half an hour, they didn't see anybody following either group and turned back to HQ. When they arrived, Naruto saw a bunch of dreary dark houses. However, one of the house numbers was missing. Naruto remembered Gosuke's instructions, and soon saw what must have been the hidden HQ. After receiving a warning to be quiet, Naruto entered the dark house.

Wow. Including the top AN, I got almost 3,500 words!

Since Tonks actually turns her hair bubble-gum pink in the book, I couldn't resist using that!

Admins, if I have too much 'original text' in a chapter, please give me a warning review/PM with said chapter, and please give me 12 hours to alter it. This will let me remove the questionable material without having to email your support to find out what was wrong and wait a few hours for a response, just to edit the one paragraph that got this story removed.

Review Critiques:

Yes, Kashira is another name for Fukasaku. I looked it up on the Naruto wikia.

Gosuke is OC. Kosuke is the only messenger toad I know, but he's in Konoha waiting for Pain to invade. So I made him a brother. The name was easy. Kosuke had the kanji for Gold, Kin, and Gosuke had the kanji for Silver, Gin. If, however, a Japanese speaker has a problem with it, they can review and explain.

Yes Naruto seems smarter. However, I always saw him as smart when it comes to battles, thinking up strategies that take others, even geniuses like Shikamaru or all-seeing Sharingan and Byakugan users like Neji, by surprise. Also, Jiraiya taught him a little about observance and anticipating enemy plans right? Either way, Naruto will be smart under fire/pressure and more like our lovable idiot during any other time.

Also, about Naruto's knowledge of magic, he just finished a Shadow Clone enhanced crash course of magic last chapter! Naruto learned that if you can think of it, it's most likely possible. That's why he thought of wizards creating their own cloud cover for ambushes. That, and I didn't like all those inconsistencies and problems in Moody's paranoid thought process.

Peace out!

AnonymousGX