Sage Mode and Magic Chapter 12: The Classes Begin, a Harry Potter + Naruto Crossover fanfic

Wow. I'm putting many Naruto references in without any comments on them. I was sure that 'catching Tora quickly using catnip' would be pickup up. But I was shocked NOBODY got "pink blimp, or somebody you'll find in an orphanage that likes to punish little girls." My dear readers, please watch Despicable Me and pay attention to Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie, as somewhat referenced in the movie, also draws inspiration from the musical/films Annie. In the Disney film, Miss Hannigan even wears what appears to be a faded pink shirt in a scene or two! Can you imagine Umbridge singing "Little Girls" when talking about Hermione and other muggle-born witches, or maybe half-breeds?

I still need that book cover...

Admins, if I have too much 'original text' in a chapter, please give me a warning review/PM with said chapter, and please give me 12 hours to alter it. This will let me remove the questionable material without having to email your support to find out what was wrong and wait a few hours for a response, just to edit the one paragraph that got this story removed.

I'm sorry this chapter took so long. But I have two great reasons. 1. Classes. Enough said. 2. The only Slytherin that is well known is Malfoy. It was hard to scour the books, and the wikia, for information regarding the 1995-6 Fifth Years.

As Naruto exited the Great Hall with the first years, he saw his Gryffindor friends leaving as well. "See you in classes tomorrow!" he waved while passing them. Harry and Hermione waved back, but Ron just glared at him.

Before they could get far out of the Hall, Pa spoke up. "Don't forget our plan for the first lesson! Show up a little early!" After shouting back that he remembered, Naruto saw he fell behind, and ran to catch up with the other Slytherins.

When Naruto and the rest of the first years arrived at the Slytherin entrance, which was a blank wall, Malfoy said "Aconite" to get the wall to open. After descending another flight of stairs, they arrived in the common room. It was still a dungeon, but had a weird welcoming feeling to Naruto. The fact that it reminded him of his mindscape helped, of course. At first, Naruto wondered why, even though there were no lit torches or sources of light, how the room was bathed in a sea-green glow. On the far wall were a few windows, and he was surprised to see the lake through them. It must have been these windows that gave the room it's glow, because they were enchanted to give students a view of the lake as if it were high noon. Naruto saw the Grindylow seaweed bed through the window on the left, and wondered where the Mermaid Monarchy was. Looking around, Naruto missed the Slytherin Orientation, and was still gazing out when the Firsties went off to bed.

"What are you doing over there, blondie?" Malfoy asked in his haughty way.

"Looking outside. I was hoping to see a mermaid."

"If you're looking for the Sirens, we don't have any." Malfoy spat, "The Selkies in this lake, however, are nothing more than ugly beasts."

"Maybe some of them are, but one of them looked nice."

"You actually think one looks nice?" The boy Naruto sat next to, Naruto learned his name was Blaise, spoke up from the couch. "How could those filthy creatures be nice?"

"At least she takes a bath every day, and both her and her father have manners, unlike the two of you."

With that insult, Malfoy and Blaise headed for their beds. However, one boy remained behind. "Don't worry about them. They're among the worst of the lot you'll find in this house. Most wouldn't go as far as that with housemates, but I'd suggest not bringing up your fishy crush."

"Thanks. I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

"Adrian Pucy." They shook hands and went to bed.

However, that night wasn't restful for many Slytherin boys in the fifth year. The next morning, Naruto woke up to them wide awake in fear, with Professor Snape glaring down at him. Snape marched him to his office, and sat down. "Care to tell me what happened, Naruto?"

"I'm not sure. They were like that when I woke up."

"They called me this morning because they spent the entire night protecting themselves from you while you slept. You were throwing knives and bladed stars, using those Shadow Clones, and breaking through their Shield Charms with your Rasengans."

"Oh... that? Well, Kakashi-sensei and Yamato told me once that I need daily training or else my body will use up its stored energy while I sleep. I guess I forgot to train yesterday. I'm sorry."

"Well, since this the first time, and unusual circumstances, I'll let you off with a warning. However, don't let it happen again."

"I won't!" With that, Naruto rushed to breakfast.

Seeing him coming, the twins got revenge for last night. Working in tandem, they quickly turned their wands to the path Naruto was headed towards and said "Glacius." That spell made a runway of ice that Naruto, due to his high speed, slipped on and slid all the way up to the front, where he crashed into the golden owl stand. Picking himself up, Naruto noted the score was 1-All, and headed for the Slytherin table.

Soon into breakfast, a flutter of noise was heard from above, and the whole hall was divebombed with owls with their letters and packages. Many Slytherins revieved the Daily Prophet, a newspaper even Naruto could tell was heavily biased.

"Well, there's nothing about loony Potter this time around," a well-built girl said.

"Or anything about Dumbledore, for that matter Millie," Malfoy picked up. "I wonder if they're finally seeing reason."

"Don't you dare talk about Harry like that!" Naruto told them. "He's a better wizard than you."

"Are you actually a friend to the Perfect Saint Potter?" Malfoy asked, getting the attention of the surrounding Slytherins.

"He hangs out with a blood traitor and a mean know-it-all mudblood," 'Millie' added. "She tackled me in the middle of our duel a few years ago!"

"Yes I am. And Hermione did that? Sweet! She did win, right?"

Before anybody could come up with an retort, they were handed their class schedules and rushed off to classes. First was Herbology with the Ravenclaws, and Naruto had a fun time playing with the Venomous Tentacula, getting a few points from Professor Sprout for using his Kunai to collect seeds while avoiding everything else. The hour after that was spent with Pa training, and left Naruto a little tired from the Frog Kata. Naruto, seeing that he had his Head of House next, got to class early.

Third and Fourth hour were combined Potions. Seeing Harry walk into the back, Naruto quickly joined him, and Ron soon left. Confused by this, Naruto turned to Harry. "What's gotten into Ron? I thought he liked me on the train."

"He's a narrow-minded, prejudiced pig." Hermione told him. "Once you got into Slytherin, he became convinced you were the next great evil. It'll take him a long time to accept you again."

"Well, I got all year. Is that long enough?"

Before Hermione could answer him, the door banged open. Right when Snape walked in, a large cloud of smoke appeared. When the smoke cleared, a fanfare of loud trumpets and sharp, fast violins started playing. Snape walked out wearing a black helmet and mask, as well as a chest plate and belt with various buttons and knobs. His breathing also became noisy, like it was coming from muggle scuba gear. Snape marched up to the front of the class and glowered behind the mask. "Now, who pulled this prank?" Those raised among muggles recognized the look and song, and almost laughed. Failing to remove it by hand, Snape turned his wand towards himself. "Finite."

But this didn't have the desired effect. Instead of removing the accessories, the wand transformed into a small metal rod, which quickly released a four foot beam of red light that sizzled when moved. Then, what appeared to be an old man with white cloths, a brown cloak, red hair, and a similar rod with a blue beam walked into the room. Wait, red hair? Snape wondered. Why would the Weasleys reveal themselves like this during a prank? "You're only a master of evil, Darth Potionus." Some muggle raised boys started giggling.

The music changed, to become what could only be described as epic. The cloaked Weasley then started swinging his beam lazily at Snape, which was blocked each time. "Twenty points from Gryffindor."

"You can't win Darth. You strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine." With the laughs of many students, and the giggles of others who were told the joke, the duo continued spinning their blades before getting into a few locked holds. When they broke off, Snape started advancing on his opponent, who would quickly step back and block each time. When they reached the door, the old red-head calmly held his light blade straight up, then quickly opened the door and rushed to safety. It was then that the music stopped and the disguise and rod blade disappeared.

Snape picked up his real wand, which the intruder dropped, and returned to the front of the class. The scowl on his face silenced even the low fires scattered around the room.

"This year," said Snape, sweeping over to his desk and glaring around at them all, "next June, you will be put through an exam. During said exam, you will prove how much you have learned potions. Moronic though some of this class undoubtedly are, I expect everyone to scrape an 'Acceptable' in your OWL, or suffer the... consequences After this year many of you will be unable to continue this class with me. I can take only the very best into my NEWT Potions class, which means that some will be saying goodbye next year."

At this, Snape's glare gazed upon Harry. Naruto saw the clear hatred he had for Harry, but also briefly saw... something else. Love? Betrayal? It was to quick for Naruto to pick up. Harry glared back, happy at the idea that he wouldn't have to do Potions after this year. "But we have, unfortunately... another year to go," droned Snape. "So, I advise you all to maintain the high pass level I have come to expect from my OWL students.

"Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace. it is a potion to calm anxiety and soothe agitation. Be warned: if you are too heavy-handed with the ingredients, you will put the drinker into a deep and sometimes never-waking sleep, so pay close attention to what you are doing."

On Harry's left, Hermione sat up a little straighter, her expression one of utmost attention. On his right, Naruto started sweating at the thought of getting it wrong. "The ingredients and method..." Snape snapped his wand, "are up on the blackboard. You will find the ingredients..." he flicked his wand again, almost strangling it, "in the store cupboard. You have about an hour and a half. Begin."

Just as Harry, Ron and Hermione had predicted, Snape could not have set them a harder potion. The ingredients had to be added to the cauldron in precisely the right order and amounts. If anything went wrong, the potion could blow up the classrooom. Since there were many points in the potion where they would have to let their potion stew for minutes, Naruto and Harry decided to double team their potions. One would prepare the ingredients, while the other would maintain the cauldrons heats and stirring.

At ten minutes to go, Snape spoke up. "A light silver vapour should be rising from your potion about right now."

Harry looked desperately around the dungeon. His own cauldron, as well as Naruto's, were issuing large amounts of dark grey steam. Ron's was blasting green sparks. The surface of Hermione's potion, however, was a shimmering mist of silver vapour, and Snape swept by, ignoring her potion completely, which meant he could find nothing to criticise.

At Harry's cauldron, however, Snape stopped, and looked down at it with a horrible smirk on his face.

"Potter, what is this?"

The Slytherins at the front of the class all looked up eagerly; they loved hearing Snape taunt Harry. Naruto, however, glared at them, and they turned away.

"The Draught of Peace," said Harry tensely.

"Tell me, Potter," said Snape softly, "can you read? Or do you not have strong enough glasses?" Draco Malfoy laughed, but was shot down by Naruto making a pretend gun with the pointer and middle fingers of both hands and pointing at him.

"Yes, I can," said Harry, his fingers clenched tightly around his wand.

"Read the third instruction for me, if you can."

Harry squinted at the blackboard, because it was not easy to make out the instructions through the haze of multi-coloured steam now filling the dungeon.

" 'Add powdered moonstone, stir three times counter-clockwise, allow to simmer for seven minutes then add two drops of syrup of hellebore.' "

His heart sank. He had forgotten the syrup of hellebore, and went straight to the fourth line of the instructions after allowing his potion to sit.

"I'm sorry Professor," Naruto spoke up, "It was my fault. Harry and I decided to work on our potions together, and I was in charge of preparing the ingredients for that step while he watched the fires and the stirring for the previous one. As you can see, my potion is the same as Harry's, but a little behind."

Hearing that his new student was the one to blame and not Harry, Snape continued past the duo. "Everyone here, fill one flagon with a sample of your potions. Label them clearly with your names and bring it up to my desk," said Snape. "For tonight's homework: twelve inches of parchment on the properties of moonstone and its uses in potion-making, to be handed in on Thursday."

Soon after everyone gave Snape a flagon of their potion and cleaned their places, the bell rang. Naruto left with Harry and Hermione, and noticed Ron tailing at a distance. It was time for lunch, so the trio and follower started heading for the Great Hall.

"Thanks for saving Harry back there Naruto," Hermione told Harry's potion partner.

"It was nothing. I missed that instruction too, so I should have gotten the same punishment. Besides, I wasn't the one who prepared the ingredients for that step, but Harry."

That shocked Hermione. "So... you lied to Snape to get Harry out of trouble?"

"Pretty much." Ron apparently heard that, and walked a little faster to get closer. "What does that guy have against Harry anyway?"

"We don't know why Snape hates Harry. But we do know Snape's a retired Death Eater. We thought he'd be better since he, you know, joined the Order," Hermione whispered.

"Maybe he's in the Order for his own safety," Naruto wondered, "But Kunai don't dull their edges overnight, so it may take awhile for him to become better."

At that point, Ron had caught up to the group, and made sure that Naruto was on the opposite side of the group. "Anyway, I've always thought Dumbledore was cracked to trust Snape. Where's the evidence he ever really stopped working for You-Know-Who?"

"I think Dumbledore's probably got plenty of evidence," Hermione snapped.

"Well, besides the fact that he didn't show up to Moldy-wart's Family Night," Naruto commented. "Or that he may have offered his loyalty to Dumbledore for protection from his old master."

"Oh, shut it, the pair of you," said Harry heavily, as Ron opened his mouth to argue back and Hermione turn to face him. Hermione and Ron both froze, looking angry and offended. "Can't you give it a rest?" said Harry. "You're always having a go at each other, it's driving me mad." With those words, Harry dashed off towards lunch.

"Yeah. If Harry's right you two bicker like an old married couple. They say 'if two people fight, they really care about each other'."

"Me care about her/him?!" the two said in both surprise and anger. "Hmph!" they both turned away from each other. Naruto just chuckled and walked ahead to lunch.

During lunch hour, Snape was in his office with both Weasley twins. When they heard about what happened in class, they turned to each other and laughed hard. Being the sons of a muggle fanatic, they recognized the movie and guessed the mastermind. Score: Naruto 2, us 1.

"I'm sorry professor, but we weren't the ones who pulled that prank. Was Naruto in your class?"

Realizing who the real culprit was, and a likely way he pulled it off, Snape dismissed them, then quietly, and secretly, gave Gryffindor back their 20 points. He then decided to talk to Naruto about the prank later.

That's the start of classes! So how did this go? How many references did you guys get this and previous chapters?

The hardest part of the chapter were figuring out which Slytherins to include and which to skip. More may make an appearance later.

Peace out and prank on!