Sage Mode and Magic Chapter 13: Umbridge's Reign Begins, a Harry Potter + Naruto Crossover fanfic

Sorry this chapter took awhile. I was considering adding in more Slytherins between classes, but couldn't get it to work. Oh well, they'll have to wait a chapter or two.

Congratulations to those who got the Star Wars reference. Good job with the Yamato campsite Blinded in a bolthole. Does anybody remember Pokemon Episode 14, Electric Shock Showdown? I had told a reviewer that Hermione and Ron reminded me of Ash and Misty. Now to work in Beauty and the Beast...

Book cover please... is anybody working on it, or willing to?

Admins, if I have too much 'original text' in a chapter, please give me a warning review/PM with said chapter, and please give me 12 hours to alter it. This will let me remove the questionable material without having to email your support to find out what was wrong and wait a few hours for a response, just to edit the one paragraph that got this story removed.

Oh how I wish I can go fishing... I hope it doesn't show too much in this chapter.

If Naruto thought that the History of Magic class would be boring, he was dead wrong. Literally dead wrong, since the professor was a ghost. After getting laughed at for freaking out about the professor by other students, the professor uttered one syllable before Naruto quickly learned something. If he could barely pay attention at all to even Iruka's class, who was somewhat more exiting and engaging than other teachers, then it was impossible to stay awake in a class where even the professor could even put himself to sleep by talking. Naruto only left slumberland when class ended and his friend Adrian got him up. Realizing he'd probably fail History of Magic, he begged Adrian for a copy of his notes, which he gladly shared.

The next class was Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindor, and Naruto was excited to have another class with Harry. When he got there, Naruto recognized the room from his visit to Professor Moody, but not the contents. All the cool and creepy stuff was taken out, like the spare books and skull candle holders near the windows and the overhanging dragon. The whole place was bright and clean. All the Dark in Dark Arts has been taken out. It's as if we're not going to learn about the Dark Arts at all... I wonder why our book wasn't included in the list of school supplies. Naruto then looked up to the front desk. There were many copies of the same book. He could barely read the cover from the back of the classroom. 'Defense Against the Dark Arts; A Return to Basic Principles'. Yep, we aren't going to learn anything new, if we learn at all. Seeing Harry seated near the center, Naruto sat behind him and tried to make some small talk about the classes.

However, Harry didn't get a chance to respond. Behind them walked in the Pink Orphan-torturer. "Well good afternoon class." That tone of voice set Naruto on edge, and her position in the idiotic Ministry was enough to get his slightly angered mind thinking clearly about her and her motives. After a few murmured replies, she repeated herself and got a unified answer. Satisfied, she closed the doors behind her. As she strode up the aisle, she flicked her wand at the chalkboard. "Ordinary Wizarding Level Examinations. O. W. Ls. More commonly known as... OWLs." I don't know what will be worse, Naruto thought, her book, or her manner of speaking. "Now, the past four years of your studies has been spotty. This is because of the number of different teachers that taught you each year, and their different methods to teaching. I am here to make sure we all understand the basics before we move on to more difficult spells. We will be using a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course that will have the least risk to everyone in this classroom." As she was explaining this, she had the chalkboard write down the course aims. "Now, we can begin. Wands away, we'll be reading chapter 1, Basics for Beginners. If you wish to talk, please first raise your hand."

Soon, many noses were in their books. However, Hermione, who Naruto thought was a book lover, wasn't reading. She was staring right at Umbridge with her hand raised. Umbridge was pretending not to notice, but Naruto could tell she was avoiding the inevitable. And inevitable it was, when about two thirds of the class had stopped reading and were staring at Hermione. "Do you have a question about the chapter we are reading, dear?" Umbridge asked her, with a tone that almost made Naruto want to hurl.

"I have a question about your course aims," Hermione replied, polite yet briefly.

"Oh. And your name is...?" Umbridge asked. She doesn't have a class roll? Naruto realized. How will she know if somebody skipped? Does this mean I don't have to show up to her next class?

"Hermione Granger. The query I have is that none of the course aims mention using or even practicing the spells we are learning." Many students turned to the blackboard, and sure enough, there was no mention of wandwork on the board among the purposes of the class.

"Using spells? Hi Hi." Umbridge replied with a couple precise giggles that sounded like a mix of a squeak and a hiccup. "Will there be a time in this classroom when you will have to use defensive spells? Surely you don't expect to be attacked during this class?" There's a prank for that. Naruto thought. I just need to figure it out... Something I can't get blamed for, and is dangerous enough to require a wand to defend yourself but harmless enough that a failed defense won't result in an injury... "This class is risk free..."

"What use is that?" Harry spoke up. He forgot she's with the Ministry, Naruto moaned. He's now going to get himself into trouble, and possibly into the Daily Prophet. "If we are ever attacked, it won't be risk free."

"Students will raise their hand before speaking in this class." Umbridge's tone became colder and sharp. She's baiting him. Naruto realized. Resuming her sickly sweet voice, "The Ministry believes that theoretical knowledge is sufficient to pass any OWL examination, which, after all, is what school is all about."

"And how is theory supposed to prepare us for when we leave the school?" Harry countered. ...And Harry's taking it.

"There is nothing outside the school," Umbridge said, ignoring the fact that Harry didn't raise his hand. Harry must be close to the hook, if she's hurrying this act along. "Who would you you imagine wants to attack children, such as yourself?" There's the hook! Please don't say 'Voldemort'.

"Oh, I don't know..." Harry started. However, Naruto quickly hit him on the shoulder to stop him, then spoke up.

"What about Sirius Black?" That answer made Umbridge pause. "The guy who sold Harry's family to the Death Eaters, killed twelve muggles, and destroyed a wizard? Sneaked all the way into Gryffindor tower a few years ago to try to kill Harry? He's still loose from Azkaban, right?" Seeing Umbridge unable to think of an argument, Naruto pressed it further. "But he might not be the only one, or thing, out there, is he? Maybe those rogue Dementors that attacked Harry and myself over the summer actually work for Sirius Black."

Hearing about rogue Dementors made the other students whisper. They hadn't heard about it. Why was the Daily Prophet silent about such a big thing? Seeing he was having an effect on the students, Naruto pressed on. "If he could break himself out of Azkaban with the help of the Dementors, how many other Death Eaters can he release without being caught? He could be releasing all of Voldemort's..." This got a gasp from her and most of the class. "... old followers as we speak, and we would have only theory to defend us. I'd rather know I can perform these defensive spells while I'm in the classroom, then go out there and not be sure if I can cast a spell."

The whole class was now whispering. They knew Loony Potter, and maybe his Slytherin pal Naruto, would argue about You-Know-Who. But hearing a name that they knew was on the loose surprised them and made them think again about not practicing the spells. Harry, however, didn't understand why Naruto would say things like that about Sirius; he had met Sirius in the Order, after all. After taking a minute to compose herself, Umbridge turned back to face Naruto. "Like I said at the start of this class, the theory behind the spell should be sufficient for you to cast said spells."

"But that's not always the case, is it?" Naruto countered, hand raised. "Some spells need more than just movements and words. Take, for an example, the Patronus Charm," with that, Naruto turned to Harry. "When you first tried to create a Patronus, was it an animal?" Getting a silent no, Naruto looked at the teacher. "Neither was my first attempt. We cannot be sure which memories are happy enough to make a proper Patronus while our happiness is being sucked away. Practicing the spell beforehand can ensure we know which memory, or memories, to use."

"I repeat, theory should suffice for most defensive spells. Who, besides Sirius Black, whom the Auror's are going to capture, could possibly try to hurt you?"

Harry seemed to lose his patience. "What about Voldemort?" And he took the bait, Naruto nearly facepalmed.

The class started to whisper about Loony Potter and his imagination. Seemingly satisfied but hiding it, Umbridge started to walk the aisle again. "Now, let me make this quite plain." Her tone grew softer yet sharper. "You are spreading rumors that a certain Dark Wizard is at large in the world again." With these words, she started to slow down, crawling past Harry's seat. She's reeling you in, almost literally. PLEASE don't give her what she wants! "That. Is. A. Lie."

Harry practically bolted out of his seat. "I'm not a liar! I saw him! I fought him! ..."

Before he could drag Naruto into it, thankfully, Umbridge shrieked "Enough!" Calming down, she returned to the front. "Ten points from Gryffindor and detention, Mister Potter."

"So Cedric Diggory dropped dead for no reason at all?" Quit struggling against her. Naruto silently plead. You're already in her boat. Stop flapping or the mallet's coming down.

"Cedric Diggory's death was an accident."

"It was murder! Voldemort killed him! You must know that!"

"ENOUGH!" Umbridge screeched so high it was almost a squeak, even at it's volume. "Enough." She then turned to her desk and wrote something on a piece of parchment. She then marched up to Harry and gave it to him, folded. "You are dismissed from this day's class, Harry. Take this to McGonagall." Harry took the note and started heading for the door.

I wonder what that note says. If I won't be learning anything here, I might as well join Harry and see for myself. Good thing I developed this jutsu during the more boring classes at the Academy in order to leave and pull pranks. Naruto thought, discreetly making a couple hand signs below his desk. Sickness Jutsu. Sure enough, Naruto's face started turning green, his stomach rumbled, and he quickly threw up on the nearby professor. As Umbridge shrieked about her ruined pink monstrosity she called clothes, Naruto apologized and quickly went for the door, supposedly to go to the Hospital Wing.

Naruto quickly caught up to Harry. "Why did you do that?"

"Because it's the truth!" Harry thundered. "Why didn't you help me? You fought Voldemort too, you could have said something!"

"And I did!" Naruto told him, "But not what she wanted. She wanted you to seem like an insane, attention-seeking boy, and you gave it to her. Don't forget, I tried to stop you and save you from this punishment by bringing up Sirius Black."

"But you know..." Harry quickly brought his voice down. "... that he's a good guy!"

"Yeah, but the Ministry doesn't know that. I almost had her beat until you blabbed what she wanted to hear." Realizing how Naruto tried to save him, again, Harry grew quiet.

As they turned the corner, they came face-to-face with one of Naruto's nightmares. "WHY IT'S POTTY WEE POTTER! AND THE FUN BLONDIE FROM LAST YEAR!"

"AHHHHHH! Stay away from me!" Naruto cried and tried to punch Peeves away with chakra. Surprisingly, it worked. Peeves went sailing across the room and through the wall on the other side. Peeves quickly passed back through and looked at the boy who touched him.

"OUCH! HOW DID BLONDIE DO THAT?"

Seeing that his fear was afraid of him, Naruto got an idea. "I'm not telling. However, I promise not to hit you, or break your limbs, if you make me two promises."

"YES, NASTY BLONDY. ANYTHING!"

"First, don't scare me or try to pull tricks or pranks on me and those I'm traveling with."

"OK! OK! I AGREE!"

"Second, how do you feel about working together for a prank or two? On Umbridge or the Weasley Twins, perhaps?"

Hearing that offer seemed to excite the poltergeist. "IF YOU WANT ME, I'LL DO TRICKS WITH YOU ANY TIME!" After all, this was much better than the alternative, broken arms that wouldn't ever heal. With the deal made, Peeves left cackling, but intended to find Naruto after classes to talk about possible tricks.

Harry was shocked at the exchange. "Since when could you touch intangible ghosts?"

"I never knew," Naruto wondered. "I wonder if it has to do with Chakra."

Harry lead Naruto to a nearby door and knocked on it. The person who opened it was Professor McGonagall. "Harry? Naruto? What are you two doing here? You two should be in class."

"She sent me to see you," Harry said, crossly.

"I came to see if he was alright. Hermione and Ron couldn't use the Sickness Jutsu."

"I'll have to remember you can do that while I have you in class." McGonagall replied. Darn it! Why did I reveal that? Naruto practically kicked himself. "Come in you two."

Professor McGonagall's office was small but quaint. There was a dresser, a desk, a mirror, and a couple paintings up in the room. McGonagall took Harry's note and read it. With each line read, her eyelids turned more and more into thin slits. "Harry. Is it true you shouted at Umbridge during class?" Harry gave her a nod, looking dejected. "You spoke out of turn and said she's a liar?" With another nod, his head sank lower. "You told her He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back?"

Harry was sure the note called for his expulsion now, and gave another yes. "Yes, he said He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Able-To-Smell fought him last year," Naruto piped in. "I tried to stop him, and even redirected the conversation to 'notorious, mass murderer, Sirius Black', but he couldn't keep himself in check."

Harry would have glared at Naruto for betraying him like that, but saw a smile spread across Professor McGonagall's face at Naruto's new nickname for Voldemort. It quickly disappeared, however, as she turned back to Harry. "Have a biscuit."

Of all the things Harry expected McGonagall to say, this wasn't anywhere near the list. It wasn't even on the list of things Naruto thought it was barely likely for her to say. "Have a what?"

"A biscuit." she repeated, pointing out a box of cookies on her desk. "And sit down. Naruto, you as well." With that offer, both boys sat and politely took a cookie each. "Harry, you need to be more careful around that woman." Harry and Naruto were surprised, her voice was almost motherly. "If you misbehave in her class, it's more severe than House Points and and detentions."

Harry, more ignorant than Naruto, was confused by that statement. "What do you mean, more severe?"

"Come on Harry!" Naruto said, giving him a soft rap on the back on his head.

"Naruto is right. Do I need to spell it out to you? You know where Umbridge work before coming to Hogwarts, and who she's loyal to. You can be sure she's reporting everything she finds at Hogwarts to the Ministry, especially you." The end of classes bell rang then, and the hallways started sounding more and more crowded. "The note says you have detention every evening for a week, starting tomorrow at five."

"But I was telling the truth!" Harry sputtered.

"Merlin's Beard, Potter!" McGonagall said, angry. "Do you really think this is about what's the truth? You have to keep your head down and your emotions under control. Didn't you listen to Professor Umbridge's speech during the start-of-term feast?"

"Yeah... It was about... progress being inhibited... that... the Ministry was going to interfere at Hogwarts."

" 'Interfere'?" Naruto said in a 'you think?' tone. "Try 'Hostile Takeover'. I didn't even have to listen to her speech that well to figure that out."

"Well, I'm glad you listen to Hermione." This made Naruto laugh; of course only Hermione would understand Umbridge among the Gryffindor trio. "Naruto, for trying to help Harry, ten points to Slytherin. Don't worry, I won't tell Umbridge about your Sickness Jutsu. Now, do you two have another class to get to?" She asked, pointing them out of her office.

So, how was this chapter?

Peace out!

AnonymousGX