"What's going on with you and Nathan?" Haley asks him, folding her arms.
Uh oh.
"Nothing…," Lucas answers apprehensively.
"So nothing's going on?" Haley asks him, scoffing.
"No. Why, did he say something to you?"
"Why? Are you trying to figure out what lie to tell me next?" Haley spits.
How in the hell can she possibly know?
Shit, their little PDA show in the library earlier. Suddenly Lucas feels like he's been sucker punched.
"Listen, Haley -"
"Save it, Lucas. I can't believe you kissed him!" Haley yells, standing up and waving her hands at him. "First of all, it's a really jackass move considering he's my boyfriend, and second, he's your brother! It's disgusting!"
"Don't lecture me Haley, I know that!" Lucas yells back.
"Then stop it!"
"I can't; it's more complicated then that," Lucas says.
"It's actually really simple, what you're doing is wrong, and if you can't see that then you're seriously more screwed up than I thought," Haley says.
"I love him, Haley!" Lucas yells. He can feel the rage boiling in his stomach now. Who is she to tell him what he feels is wrong?
"That's sick, Lucas. Whatever you're doing to corrupt him, stop it. And next time you see me, don't talk to me," Haley spits, her words stabbing Lucas in the gut like a dull knife.
"Fine!" Lucas yells as Haley heads for the door.
"And if you keep this up, I'll make damn sure the whole school knows about what you're doing," Haley threatens before walking out and slamming the door.
He plops down on the bed and puts his hands over his face. He can't really blame Haley for being upset, but he never expected her to say those kinds of things to him. Of all people, he expected Haley to understand that sometimes you just fall for someone, regardless of how fucked up it might be. Guess he was wrong.
Why is it that as soon as something good happens to him, something three times worse happens immediately afterwards?
But what if she has a point? Is he corrupting Nathan? There's no denying that this is flat out wrong, but Lucas can't help it. Something about being with Nathan just makes his life feel complete somehow, and now if he keeps seeing him, everybody's gonna know. He'll be a fucking outcast.
Sighing, he goes to find his basketball. Maybe shooting a few hoops at the Rivercourt will help clear his head.
He looks at his tattoo before leaving, wishing he and Nathan could just run away somewhere together.
Run away from all of this madness.
—
Nathan can hear his parents screaming at each other as soon as he gets out of his truck. He reluctantly opens the front door and walks in, stopping in the hallway before the kitchen. He really doesn't want to be in the middle of this gunfight.
"I tried to call you but you weren't answering your phone!" Dan yells.
"That's because I ran out of the Cafe with nothing but my keys and the fear that my son was dying!" Deb screams back. "After Haley walked in, how long was that Dan? Twenty or thirty minutes after he collapsed?!"
"You're overreacting! My first concern was for Nathan!"
"Oh? Overreacting?" Deb scoffs. "My son nearly died and my husband didn't see fit to call, and I'm overreacting."
Nathan can just picture Dan rolling his eyes right now.
"So where the hell is he, Dan? He could be anywhere! He could be hurt."
"Just get a hold of yourself, would you? The doctor said he's gonna be fine."
"Well the doctor was wrong. As long as you keep controlling him the way you do, he'll never be out of harm's way." Deb yells.
"Ohhh, okay, of course I'm to blame. It has to be my fault!" Dan says.
"Yes!"
"Well maybe if you weren't so busy helping your little friend Karen out at the Cafe, you could've been there for him like I was."
"You smug son of a bitch. I want you out of this house."
"Deb…,"
"I said get out!"
"Look, it's been an emotional night….,"
"No Dan, it's been a night of clarity."
"It's my house!"
"Fine! Then I'll go! But either way, Nathan stays with me."
"Don't do this, Deb."
"I'll say it one more time, Dan. Either get out or so help me god I will stab you in your sleep."
There's a moment of silence before Deb says something else.
"And you better pray my son is okay!"
"Do you honestly think Nathan would choose you over me?"
Just like his dad to turn this into a pissing contest.
This is all way too fucking much right now. Not only did he almost kill himself, but his parents are probably getting a divorce because of him.
No; he can't deal with this. He hurries and slips out of the door and speeds away in his truck before either one of his parents can notice him. He'll call his mom later and let her know he's okay.
Please be home Lucas.
He tries calling Lucas at least ten times on the way to his house but he doesn't answer.
Damn it.
Pulling up to Lucas's house, Nathan runs and knocks on the door to Lucas's bedroom. Much to his dismay, Keith answers.
"Can't use the front door?" Keith asks him.
"Sorry; just thought Lucas would be in here," Nathan says. "Is he home?"
"No, he cut out of here a little bit ago," Keith tells him. "Don't know where he was headed, but he looked pretty upset. I thought I heard him and Haley yelling."
Haley? What the hell is going on today?
"Well, could you let him know I stopped by?" Nathan asks.
"Sure. Hey Nate, could you actually come in for a second? I need to talk to you," Keith says. Nathan nods and follows Keith inside to the kitchen.
"So you and Lucas, you've been getting along lately?" Keith asks.
"You could say that," Nathan answers. Where exactly is Keith going with this?
"I'm just asking because… well, I'm not really sure how to say this, but…," Keith starts, nervously scratching the back of his head.
"What's up?" Nathan asks, arching an eyebrow.
"I went into Lucas's room after you guys left this morning and saw that his bed was unmade… and it looked like two people slept on it."
Oh my god.
Nathan feels like all of the oxygen was just knocked out of him. How in the hell could they have been so stupid not to cover that up?
Okay, he has to play this cool; act like nothing happened.
"What? Two guys can't sleep in the same bed?" Nathan asks, trying his best to sound oblivious. Judging from Keith's expression, it isn't working very well.
"It's a twin bed, Nate."
"And what exactly are you getting at, Keith?" Nathan spits. Since acting oblivious isn't helping, maybe getting pissed off will.
"I'm not trying to insinuate anything, Nathan, but -"
"But nothing! I came over last night because I didn't want to see my asshole of a dad, and Lucas let me sleep in his bed with him. That's it. Now are we done here?"
"Yeah," Keith sighs. "We're done."
Nathan storms past Keith out of the house and into his truck, slamming his hands on the wheel.
"Damn it!"
This is all too risky. They're bound to get caught if they keep this up.
Looks like it's back to square one.
—-
Lucas never even got a chance to see Nathan for the next few weeks because of Haley. Every time he got within five feet of him, Haley would appear out of nowhere and lead him away. Hell, he doubts Nathan even wants to talk to him anyway.
The one time they actually did get to talk to each other, things didn't go so well.
"Nate, wait up!" Lucas calls out, running up to Nathan after practice. Nathan turns around and scowls.
"What?"
"Why are you avoiding me?" Lucas asks.
"Why didn't you answer any of my phone calls?" Nathan spits.
He couldn't; if Haley knew they were still talking…
"Sorry; things were just kind of complicated, man…,"
"Yeah, they always are," Nathan says.
"Can you please come over tonight?" Lucas pleads.
"I can't, man. Haley's been breathing down my neck hardcore ever since the pill incident."
"Then break up with her already!"
"I can't, Lucas." Nathan sighs.
"Why?" If anything, Nathan is the one making this too goddamn complicated. Lucas will find out a way to deal with Haley; make her understand.
"Keith was onto us, Luke." What?
"What are you talking about?" Lucas asks.
"He knows we slept in the same bed together that night. He never said it directly, but I'm pretty sure he knows it wasn't just out of brotherly love." No wonder Keith was acting so strange around him that next day.
"We can be more careful, we can -"
"I'm sorry, Luke, I just can't. I didn't lie about how I felt about you, but there's just too much at stake here. We'll be exiled from our families." Nathan says. "The best thing we can do is just move on and try to deal with this."
"Nate, please," Lucas says, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Just know I'm not doing this cause I hate you," Nathan says, frowning. "I'm doing this because I love you." And with that, he walks away, leaving Lucas feeling empty and destroyed.
Lucas winces at the memory; Nathan's departure that day still fresh on his mind. He knows that Nathan is right, but goddamn it, they could find a way to make it work. He would give up his left testicle to go back in time and stop Haley from ever seeing them kiss.
"What's up, broody?" Brooke asks, sitting across from Lucas in the cafeteria. "Still moping over Nathan?"
"Nice to see you too, Brooke," Lucas says.
"Look, I hate to say it, but tutor girl won this one. I doubt the whole school would be as understanding about this whole thing like I am," Brooke says, taking a bite of her salad.
"It's not fair," Lucas pouts.
"Welcome to life, hun," Brooke says. "Look, maybe it'll blow over, tutor girl will stop being a raging bitch, and you two will get to live happily ever after."
"Yeah, right," Lucas says, chuckling.
"So has Keith said anything about it to you yet?" Brooke asks him, shoving more lettuce into her mouth.
"No, but he's always dropping hints about how anal sex leads to HIV," He says, which makes Brooke laugh. "He's not exactly subtle. But we didn't even have sex!"
"But you're also brothers."
"Thank you, captain obvious," Lucas sighs, getting up from the table. "I'm gonna cut out of here early and head to the Rivercourt; try and drown myself in basketball. Wanna come?"
"As fun as that sounds, I'll pass," Brooke says. "Hey, doesn't your mom come home tonight?"
That's right; his mom coming home is the only thing that's providing him with any ounce of happiness right now.
"Yeah. Me and Keith are picking her up tonight."
"Well try not to be so mopey when you see her, okay broody?"
"Bye, Brooke," Lucas says, shaking his head and smirking.
The Rivercourt did absolutely nothing to take his mind off of things. He can't stop thinking about how close he was to having everything he ever wanted, and how quickly it got ripped away from him. Lucas feels like a dog on a treadmill with a steak dangling in front of his face. Nathan's the steak, and Haley is the one dangling it in his face, laughing maniacally the whole time.
"Mind if I join you?"
Lucas looks and sees Peyton walking onto the court.
"Why, you wanna play?" Lucas asks.
"Oh god no. But do you mind if I draw while you play? Haven't had much quiet time lately," Peyton says.
"Sure, I don't mind," Lucas says, shooting the ball and missing terribly.
"Little rusty there," Peyton says, slightly laughing.
"You said you were gonna draw, not criticize me," Lucas says, going to retrieve the ball.
"Sorry, I'll shut up," Peyton tells him, sitting down at a picnic table and pulling her drawing kit out of her bag.
Lucas kept shooting for a long time while Peyton drew, and he kept missing terribly.
"Everything okay?" Peyton asks him after he misses for the third time in a row.
"Not really," He replies.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really," He says again.
"Well whatever it is, just know I'm here for you, okay?" Peyton says, tearing the picture she was drawing out of her sketchbook. She gets up from the table and walks over to Lucas, handing the picture to him.
It's a picture of Lucas, Haley, and Nathan, all standing in a line and pointing hunting rifles at a giant heart floating in the sky. There was a basketball jersey around the heart, and on it was "Scott, 23."
"How did you -" Lucas starts, his mouth hanging open in disbelief. Suddenly he realizes how she knows.
Brooke. He's going to kill her.
"Brooke tells me everything. But don't be mad at her; we've told each other everything since we were kids. Just know I didn't come here to judge you; I came here to tell you you're not alone if you need someone to talk to," Peyton says, smiling at him. "Plus, I know how much of an ass Nathan can be."
"That's an understatement," Lucas chuckles.
"Just hang in there. It takes him a while to get things through that thick skull of his, but sooner or later he'll come around."
"Thanks, Peyton," Lucas says, pulling her into a hug.
"Anytime," Peyton responds, turning to walk to her car. "See you later, Luke."
As much as he wants to murder Brooke for telling Peyton about him and Nathan, it's actually nice to have somebody else in his camp. He's kept this dirty little secret so long that it's almost invigorating to be able to talk about it.
Shit; it's starting to get dark out. He needs to get home before he and Keith are late picking his mom up from the airport. Lucas grabs his things and heads home, finding Keith pacing in the kitchen.
"There you are!" Keith says. "I was getting worried for a second."
"Sorry, just went to the Rivercourt for a bit," Lucas says. "I'll go shower really quick so we can go."
He walks past Keith, and notices that he reeks of beer.
"Have you been drinking?" Lucas asks, turning and looking at Keith. "Want me to drive?"
"Just calming my nerves," Keith answers. "I'll be fine."
Lucas nods apprehensively and heads to the shower. Keith is already waiting in his truck honking his horn for Lucas when he gets out. He puts on the first pair of clothes he can find and runs out to the truck. It was completely dark out now.
They ride in silence for a while before Keith finally says something.
"So, uh.. you excited to see your mom?" Keith asks. Lucas can tell he's still being awkward about the whole Nathan thing.
"Yeah," Lucas answers.
"Seems like just yesterday I was kissing her at the airport," Keith says.
"Wait, you were kissing my mom?" Lucas asks. This is the first he's heard of this.
"Just saying goodbye," Keith says. Yeah right.
"Just do me a favor and keep the PDA to a minimum, okay?"
"Listen, Luke," Keith says while they're stopped at a stop light, "I know it hasn't always been smooth sailing between us, but whatever your mom wants us to be, I want you to know -"
"I love you too, Keith," Lucas finishes, turning and smiling at his uncle. Lucas sees the light in front of them turn green, and Keith starts to pull out and turn left.
The last thing Lucas sees is a pair of headlights before he blacks out, hearing the sounds of metal crushing around him.
—