Author's Note: Stuff gets real in this chapter, ya'll. Future seriousness coming!
Enjoy!
4.
With the knowledge of Peace's parents' deaths and Thion's apparent disregard for her safety, The Doctor and his crew were rather at a loss about what to do with their fifth passenger. They couldn't return Peace to Thion and knowingly surrender her to cryogenic stasis and death, but they didn't know which planet to visit to try and find her an adoptive family. So, for lack of an alternative, The Doctor did what he did best: he travelled. But this time, he had a baby in tow.
The Doctor's companions saw the presence of a baby on board as a way to visit places they had wanted to see for ages. For several days, the TARDIS crew went to calm planets and took leisurely trips on foreign soil. They would pass the baby around each trip, so that each person didn't have to carry her all the time. Nyssa wanted to see the silk-crystal beaches of Nerium Four, so they set the TARDIS down on the shore and walked barefoot along dazzling silver sands, collecting shells the size of dinner plates as they went. Adric begged The Doctor for an adventure on Bookoo Gurruku, a planet with one of the largest life-size mazes in the universe. The four older companions spent hours dashing about the twisting white walls, calling out to one another and generally getting hopelessly lost. Tegan didn't have any particular destination she wanted to see except Heathrow Airport, and since she couldn't have those coordinates, she asked The Doctor to surprise her with a beautiful planet. For the first time in their acquaintance, The Time Lord did not disappoint her: he took them all to a world with a name too convoluted to pronounce, where the sunsets were layered in distinct stripes across the sky like layers of rock and the wind created music as it blew through the deep mountain passes. They all stood, enthralled, as they drank in the beauty of the planet around them. Then, Peace began to sneeze violently, and they discovered that Thionic lifeforms were slightly allergic to the planet's atmosphere. The Doctor beat a hasty retreat with his tiny charge, leaving his three older companions to enjoy the view for another half hour before they went on their way.
Of course, the tranquil visits could only last so long before The Doctor's penchant for disaster crept back into their lives. On a planet inhabited by reptilian humanoids, The Doctor had to hastily explain that he had not brought Peace as a meal to be shared between himself and the reptilian leader. He ended up running for his and the baby's life after inadvertently insulting the leader and his wife. The next day, Adric accidentally exploded baby formula all over the TARDIS console, shorting out several vital circuits which Nyssa frantically repaired before the time-and-space-machine spun into the gravitational pull of a large sun. Tegan and Peace nearly toppled off of a high viewing platform on a city built in the clouds, and only The Doctor's terror-stricken reflexes saved them. He wrapped his arms around them both and simply fell backwards, dropping to the platform's deck in a heap of limbs and multi-colored clothes.
There were domestic hiccups, too, and although they didn't carry the same danger as those which occurred on foreign planets, they were stressful in their own right. Tegan got fed up with the electronic book she wanted to read and went to find The Doctor to explain it to her, only to discover that he had fallen deeply asleep on the library floor with Peace on top of him. The baby was sleeping just as hard, her little face perfectly still as it rested against The Doctor's collar. Tegan was arrested by the unexpected sight of the manic Time Lord lying so peacefully on the Gallifreyan-red rug with an adorable baby in his arms. She felt moved to drape a nearby throw over baby and alien, and was so distracted by her task that she didn't notice Nyssa's entrance into the library. Nyssa proceeded to bring up the topic which Tegan dearly wished had never been conceived about her and the Doctor: mating rituals, and their possible existence on the TARDIS within teenager earshot. Whispering fiercely at Nyssa to stop being silly and mind her own business proved to be a bad idea, for The Doctor woke as Tegan was still crouched next to him with her hands on his shoulders. The ensuing startled argument between human stewardess and Time Lord was one for the record books, if Adric and Nyssa had kept records of every time their older companions rowed.
Adric and Nyssa had their own problems with the role of caretaker. Nyssa found herself stuck with Peace on several occasions when The Doctor couldn't hold her. This unavoidable baby-sitting cut into the Trakenite girl's experiment time, which irritated Adric to no end. He would complain at Nyssa, loudly, whenever she was unavailable. Finally, Nyssa would shove Peace into his arms and say, "Well, if you want me to calibrate the computational processors so badly, then you have to think very happy thoughts while I do it!" Adric always fumbled around with Peace until he was sure he couldn't drop her, and then he would stand awkwardly bouncing the baby up and down while Nyssa tweaked code strands and polished computer monitors.
Peace herself was still bubbly. She seemed above all the stressors which beset her older companions. She loved bath time, food time, and diaper time, as long as she had cuddle time, as well. But, she had definitely become very attached to The Doctor. She waved her hands and babbled whenever The Doctor spoke to her, and her mind seemed to glow in his telepathic presence. Even with Nyssa's steady telepathic signature as substitute, she would become restless if she was separated from her Time Lord caretaker for more than a couple of hours. At first, The Doctor tried to resist Peace's obvious preference. "We can't allow her to grow too dependent on me," he would protest, when Nyssa or Tegan or Adric tried to hand the baby to him. "I'm not her father; I can't keep her. She'll be hurt when we give her to an adoptive family, if we let her grow too close." Peace did not understand these reasons for their separation, and her restlessness would turn to lonely wailing if she was not given back to the Time Lord. Peace's misery made everyone on board the TARDIS sad, too. Against his better judgment, The Doctor gave in and carried the Thionic baby in the papoose on an almost twenty four-hour basis. He got into the habit of carrying her with him on errands onto planets which he deemed safe.
None of the mishaps from the weeks before compared to one that happened in Peace's fourth week aboard the TARDIS. Quite without his consent, The Doctor found himself in the midst of interplanetary conflict on one of his simple errands. He left the TARDIS to find a particular soap made for infants which could only be bought in two trade unions in the universe. He didn't know that these same business empires also happened to reach a state of war at exactly the same time The Doctor had chosen to visit their star system.
He had taken Peace with him to give Nyssa some time alone in the TARDIS to tend to her experiments. When The Doctor literally walked into a turf war between two teams of corporate-hired thugs, he barely had time to register the fact that bullets were flying before he came under fire, himself. Luckily, The Doctor had enough sense to dive around the nearest solid object, his body curled around Peace to protect her from stray bullets. No one in the fight over business real estate seemed to care that he was a bystander with an infant in his arms, which made The Doctor angry enough that he unleashed his icy fury on them and cowed the opposing factions into a ceasefire until he could buy his soap. Then, he stayed around long enough to mock their ridiculous turf war and to shame them over firing at unarmed civilians. By the time he stalked off with Peace and a bar of soap clutched tightly to his chest, the mercenaries had slunk back into their respective headquarters and the other civilians on the street had come out of hiding.
When he finally closed the doors to the TARDIS behind him, The Doctor leaned against them and tried to calm himself down. Peace was crying obstreperously, telepathically overloaded by her caretaker's fear and rage. The Doctor compulsively smoothed two fingers gently against Peace's face, an unconscious, soothing gesture which carried a mental message: Don't worry, I've got you, we're safe, we're perfectly safe, see, we made it home.
"Doctor?" Adric's head popped up from behind the console.
The Doctor started so violently that he sent Peace into another round of crying. "Adric, must you be so impossible?" snapped The Doctor, then immediately said, "No—I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault."
"Doctor, what happened?" Adric asked, looking very alarmed. The teenager came out from around the console and stood close to his mentor, peering into his face. "You're shaking. You're pale. Doctor, are you all right?"
"I'm fine," The Doctor said, but he passed Peace to Adric, "but you should hold her, a while. I'm too—" he waved a hand, inadequately, "I can't calm down."
"But, why? What's wrong with the planet? Did you get the soap?"
"Oh, I got the soap," The Doctor said, eyes snapping, "but I had to wade through a street fight to get it. There were idiots with guns—bullets flying everywhere, Adric!—and it was all over some minor technicality between two corporations. Sometimes, I wish the very idea of money didn't exist."
Adric looked nearly as pale as The Doctor. "You mean—and you were holding Peace—" The teenagers swallowed. "Oh, Doctor, that's horrible. Did you stop them?"
"Of course, but not for forty minutes or so. People could have been killed—people who had nothing to do with either trade union." The Doctor bounced his head against the TARDIS doors. "Peace could have been shot, Adric, and I could have done absolutely nothing to stop it."
"You would have been shot, too," Adric pointed out. He knew The Doctor well enough to know that the older man would rather die than let an innocent person come to harm. The thought of leaving the TARDIS to look for the Time Lord and the baby only to discover their bullet-riddled corpses chilled him like an icy wind.
"This is why she can't become attached to me," The Doctor said, wearily. "We can't keep her, Adric."
"No one ever said we should, Doctor."
"I know, but…" The Doctor trailed off as he stared at Peace, who had burrowed herself against Adric's chest. He took another deep breath, running a hand through his silky blonde hair and leaving parts of it sticking up.
Adric didn't point out how much The Doctor's hair resembled the baby's fine platinum strands, and how anyone could mistake her for The Doctor's own child, and no one would mind if he just sort of claimed her as his daughter…The Alzarian boy shook his head. He couldn't allow those kind of thoughts to enter his head. The Doctor just said they couldn't keep Peace forever, and he was right. It was just so difficult to see when she was so soft and warm, nestled into his sternum with her pudgy hand grasping ineffectually at his shirt.
"I think the truth is that we've all gotten attached to her," The Doctor admitted. He continued to stare at the baby, a twist to his lips that seemed a tad embarrassed, and then he took her from Adric's arms and walked with her across the console room. As he walked through the far doorway, Adric saw him press a very light kiss to the baby's forehead. Peace snuggled her head further under The Doctor's chin, and the Time Lord seemed unable to resist the smile that passed over his face.
It was Adric's turn to be embarrassed. He turned quickly from the uncharacteristic show of affection and set to work on the vortex fluctuation meters in the console. The Doctor must have truly been afraid of losing Peace during the firefight to indulge in such an overt gesture. The teenager banished the touching thought and focused instead on mechanics and temporal engineering, sinking into more familiar territory and unwilling to dwell on the consequences of The Doctor's affection.
"Shh, c'mon, now, Peace," Tegan cajoled the baby, waving a bright orange stuffed animal in front of Peace's face, "give us a little quiet time, huh? The Doctor just stepped out for a bit. He'll be back, I promise!"
Peace continued to scream. She had started screaming as soon as The Doctor left the TARDIS, taking his warm arms and his telepathic aura with him. Nyssa was very busy learning how to clean the navigational circuits on the console, and so she was unavailable to calm Peace while The Doctor was away. Adric had tied himself up in one of the TARDIS's many minor malfunctions and gave off the very Doctor-ly air that he did not want to be disturbed for anything less than impending doom. This left Tegan to mind Peace to the best of her telepathically-dull abilities. Unsurprisingly, her methods did little to alleviate Peace's panic.
Four hours later, the human woman in charge of a telepathic baby in The Doctor's absence was very near a few screams herself. Peace stopped her mind-scrambling cries for about ten minutes an hour, to regain her strength, and then she started again. She screamed if Tegan held her, and she screamed if Tegan put her down. Her little face turned red and her kumquat-sized fists clenched. She waved all four limbs and rolled back and forth, but when Tegan gathered her up to soothe her, Peace struggled and squawked unhappily. Several times, the baby would rub her face against Tegan's hand, seeking telepathic comfort, and when she found none, big tears would roll down her face as it fell into the picture of desolation.
Now, as she held the stuffed animal up, Tegan felt tears in her own eyes. "Oh, please, Peace," she said, in exhaustion, "please—stop crying. I don't know what to do for you—I really have no idea! The Doctor's coming back. He'll hold you and do his weird telepathy thing for you. But, the thing is, sweetheart, he might be gone for a long time, still—"
Peace's lower lip wobbled, and she let out two hiccuping sobs.
"Oh, no," Tegan said, "Peace, please—"
The sobs multiplied in number and sound. True to form, Peace started wailing after ten minutes of calm. Tegan stood up and stared down at the baby on the floor who reached up chubby arms in a gesture that appeared to be universal. Picking Peace up, Tegan cradled her close and jostled her gently. Predictably, Peace searched for the right sort of contact; she flapped a clumsy hand around Tegan's chin and mouth, then nudged at her chest when that failed. Having found no reassuring telepathic message or double heartbeat, Peace writhed in Tegan's grasp. When she nearly dumped the baby onto the floor, Tegan's patience snapped.
The former flight stewardess charged into the console room like a rampaging rhino. "Nyssa!" Tegan shouted, with Peace in her arms, "I have tried for four solid hours to quiet this baby, so it's barking well your turn!"
Nyssa and Adric—who had moved into the console room as he followed his own TARDIS malfunction—took in Tegan's haggard appearance with aghast expressions. "We haven't heard anything," Adric said, stupidly.
"No, of course you haven't, because you've both been up here, having a nice chat! One of you take this baby, before I lose my mind!"
Exchanging wary glances, Nyssa and Adric both dropped their instruments and went to Tegan. Peace was still crying. When Adric took her from Tegan's arms, she dropped her head against his knuckles in another quest, then pushed back on his arms with her body. "What is she doing?" Adric asked frantically, as he scrambled not to drop the baby.
"The same thing she's been doing since The Doctor left to follow that distress signal," Tegan said. "She's trying to connect to a telepath, but I make a lousy Time Lord, I guess, because she won't let me hold her for more than twenty minutes at a time."
"Let me try," Nyssa said, authoritatively. She held out her arms and Adric transferred Peace into her hands. "Let's see, Peace," she murmured, over Peace's screams, "will this help?" She ran her fingers down the baby's face in the same soothing caress as The Doctor. Peace was transfixed for a moment, staring at Nyssa's fingers. She relaxed against the Trakenite teenager's torso. "There, that's better, isn't it?" Nyssa said, smiling in satisfaction.
Peace let Nyssa stroke her face for another ten seconds or so, and then she pressed her forehead more firmly against the teenager's fingers. Nyssa did not meet Peace's expectations from that action, for she gave a disappointed whine, then started crying again. Nyssa was flummoxed. "But, it was working, wasn't it?" she asked her two companions, while Peace arched her back and stiffened her arms and legs.
"Who knows?" Tegan said. She sagged against the wall and put a hand to her forehead. "I've done everything I can think of, and none of it worked."
"She misses The Doctor," Adric said. "That's all there is to it. She wants The Doctor, and she knows we're not him. Even Nyssa doesn't have the same telepathic signature."
Nyssa patted Peace's belly. "Shh, it's all right, Peace—"
"I've tried that," Tegan said, irritably.
"Look at her." Nyssa held Peace out from her body and studied her as she cried. "She's absolutely miserable."
"She looks like she's going to burst a blood vessel, soon," Adric said, worriedly.
Nyssa sighed. "All this stress, psychological and physical, can't be good for a baby."
Tegan slapped the wall next to her. "Oh, where—is—The—Doctor?! He needs to look sharp and march on home! I don't care if that distress signal has to beep for another thirteen years, until Peace is in secondary school!"
"This is what The Doctor was afraid of," Adric said, suddenly, leaning against the console. "He tried to tell us to hold her more, to keep the number of hours he kept her more balanced, but we didn't listen."
"Well, you can't exactly blame us," Tegan said. "How were we supposed to know that a telepathic baby will scream itself into a nervous breakdown if it's away from its—" she stopped, looking shocked.
"Its what, Tegan?" Adric prodded. When Tegan only looked more discomfited he supplied, "You were about to say, 'father', weren't you? That's exactly what The Doctor meant. He didn't want to become Peace's telepathic parent, because when we give her up, she'll act just like this."
"Babies didn't act like this on Traken," Nyssa said. She passed Peace to Adric. "Do you think that Gallifreyan babies act like this, though? Is that how The Doctor knew that it was a bad idea to allow Peace to get attached to him?"
"No," The Doctor's voice said, suddenly, "although this behavior is similar to telepathic homesickness, it's something altogether different, I think."
"Doctor!" Tegan, Nyssa, and Adric shouted, relieved.
"Give her to me." The Doctor didn't waste time on a return greeting. He went to Adric and swept Peace out of his arms. Instantly, the baby's screams dropped to a more bearable volume. She fussed a little as The Doctor ran his hand over her legs and belly, an intent frown on his face, but she quieted even further when he laid two fingers on her cheek. "Poor Peace," The Doctor said, in the soft voice no one heard beyond his interactions with the baby, "what is wrong with you, dear? You're so very distraught."
"She missed you," Tegan began, but The Doctor held up a hand to cut her off.
"Not now, Tegan. I need to concentrate. There's something wrong, here. What is it, Peace? What did you need to tell me?" The Doctor put his ear to the baby's chest, then moved it to her stomach. Peace squirmed slightly, but compared to her efforts to jump out of Tegan and Adric's arms, the movements were negligible. The Doctor's three older companions felt very inadequate as they watched the baby relax further in the crook of the Time Lord's arm.
"Is she hurt, Doctor?" Tegan asked, twisting her hands anxiously. "She's been crying for four hours. I did give her some formula, and I tried to get her to sleep, but nothing worked."
"I held her, too," Nyssa said. "We thought she must just be missing you, because she wouldn't calm down for anything."
"Gallifreyan babies, and all telepathic babies, to a certain extent, do experience a kind of aching homesickness when they're separated from their parent or caretaker too long," The Doctor said. While he spoke, he strode toward the door which led to the inner reaches of the TARDIS. His companions followed him without a word. "I didn't see it much, firsthand, because most Time Lords are raised in a communal nursery, of sorts, when they're infants. It's rather complicated, and it doesn't make much sense to outsiders, but basically, whoever a Time Lord baby is exposed to most telepathically is their comfort giver. Take that person away, and they feel as though they've been thrust into a bucket of ice water and given several slaps about the ears, too. If a baby's caretaker is very cruel, they can use telepathic homesickness as a punishment tool."
"That's terrible!" Tegan gasped.
"Depending on which House on Gallifrey you ask, it's either very effective or very traumatic," The Doctor said. He bent and pressed his face against Peace's forehead. Tegan soon realized that he was checking the baby's temperature. "I'm inclined on the traumatic side of the fence," The Doctor added, "and, thankfully, so is my House, for the most part. We have very careful caretakers. My children and grandchildren didn't have their entire security in the world around them yanked out from under them like a rug on a regular basis."
Behind The Doctor's back, Nyssa, Adric, and Tegan all gave one another enlightened glances. They knew, now: The Doctor was a true father. They watched him try to soothe the crying baby and recognized the motions as practiced, if perhaps a little rusty.
"Where are we going, Doctor?" Nyssa finally asked, as they tried to keep up with the Time Lord's ground-eating pace.
"The infirmary," The Doctor answered, and said nothing more.
Once they were inside the infirmary, Tegan and Adric stayed closed to the walls while The Doctor and Nyssa went to work. The Doctor laid Peace on a warm table and maintained physical contact with her, while Nyssa fetched the scanners he needed. "Bring the one with the red tip, too," The Doctor said. He still spoke in the warm, light tone he used to put Peace at ease, but his companions saw the stress on his face.
Nyssa turned on all the scanners and lined them up for The Doctor to use. The Time Lord operated the machines one-handed. His other hand remained on Peace's belly, which soothed her and kept her in place. After what seemed like hours, he finally straightened and shut off the last scanner. He leaned over the table and took several deep breaths. Nyssa put a hand on his arm. "Doctor," she said, "I know that face. Tell us what's wrong."
"Hold her," The Doctor ordered Nyssa, picking up Peace to hand her over to the Trakenite. Peace seized his thumb with one of her tiny hands and refused to let go. She mewled like a hungry kitten when Nyssa managed to pull her away. Then, she turned her face from Nyssa's chest in a clear rejection. "It's no good, Doctor," Nyssa said, "she wants you."
The Doctor took the baby back with a pained look. He smoothed her white hair down with uncommon fussiness. "It's much worse than I thought," he told his companions, at last. "The people who kidnapped her have planted a device in her body. It appears to be a tracking beacon of some kind, but I've rarely seen this sort of design. It's barbaric and clearly meant for slavery."
"Why?" asked Adric. The boy's face was drawn as he looked at Peace and The Doctor.
"Because, if I try to remove this beacon from Peace's abdominal cavity, it will kill her instantly," The Doctor whispered. His eyes had darkened to a shade of blue more akin to a frozen lake than crystal. "The good news is that I can reverse the tracking signal and find the person responsible for this heinous crime. Of course, by default, the bad news is: I can find the person responsible." The Time Lord tucked the baby more snugly against his chest and straightened up. "And, for the person who did this to Peace, that is very, very bad news, indeed."