This chapter was originally going to be called "To See The Lights All Faded" but I was listening to the song it's from (Drops of Jupiter) and I've decided to change the title to "Heaven Is Overrated," because I think it fits the chapter better. I've gone back to change it on the last chapter (or at least I think I did), but I just wanted to clear up any confusion.

Note: There has been a small time jump of a couple days (just because I don't want to drag out the conclusion too long because it is only the conclusion, not the main part of the story).

As always, I know nothing about hospitals or medicine. Please enjoy anyways.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Heaven Is Overrated

(Drops Of Jupiter – Train)

Dr. Rays walked into the small hospital room. Erin Lindsay, was sound asleep in the chair beside her partner, her face resting on his bed like a pillow. One of hands was resting on top of his arm, while her other arm was simply lying on the bed, on the other side of her head.

He'd been trying for the past few days (ever since Jay Halstead had been rushed into Chicago Med) to get her to go home, at least for a little bit, but she'd been adamant on staying. On the second day, he'd tried to get her to leave by telling her she had to and that "visiting hours were over" and she "had to leave the hospital now." That hadn't worked. She simply had hunched over, screaming in pain, saying that her old bullet wound had reopened.

Rays had checked her wound, and it had clearly not reopened. However, it nearly had thanks to the commotion she had caused, so the surgeon elected to let her stay with her partner. She wasn't allowed to be in his room all day though, but she was usually more than okay to sit outside his room (on the floor because the chairs were 'too far down the hall') until a doctor or nurse told her it was okay to enter the room again.

The whole unit had been in and out throughout the last few days. Antonio Dawson took the silver medal when it came to unwillingness to leave his injured friends side, but he'd at least gone home a couple times to get changes of clothes. Erin, on the other hand, had had to give Kim Burgess her house key and request that the patrol officer bring her something to change into. Burgess, herself, hadn't wanted to leave the hospital either. She hung around Atwater's room as often as she could, only occasionally visiting Jay and Erin. The only reason she went home at all, was because Atwater had demanded it...and the fact that there hadn't been much change in the detective's condition over the past few days and any sudden changes had been deemed highly unlikely by his doctors.

Adam Ruzek had spent most of his time going back and forth between the rooms of both his friends, and had complained frequently about how "stupid" it was that they were so far apart. In reality, though, he was just complaining about such trivial things as a means of keeping everyone's moods up. His upbeat attitude was greatly appreciated by the whole group, even if most of them saw straight through his act.

Olinsky tried to hang around as much as possible, checking on Jay and Atwater often, but he never stayed for more than a few hours. He spent his time away from the hospital burying himself in paperwork and being around his family. Doing anything, really, just to get his mind off how bad the whole situation had become.

Roman, unlike his partner, hadn't been granted the time off and was forced to go back to work. He didn't object though. He, like Olinsky, preferred to separate himself from the chaos. He came by after shift though, spending most of his visits with Burgess and Atwater, but occasionally checking on Jay and Erin. A lot of the members of the precinct swung by, in fact. Sergeant Platt even stopped by for a bit. So had Jasmine and Ranger (the bomb tech and the computer specialist), but for them it was only a short visit just to check up on things.

Gabby Dawson swung by a few times too, partially to check on Jay (and Atwater), but also to see how her brother was fairing. The young firefighter had actually managed to drag most of the members of 51 by the hospital at some point or another. Needless to say, Dr. Rays had had his work cut out for his dealing with all the visitors...and all their gifts.

Voight, however, avoided the hospital like the plague after that first day. He had checked on Atwater a couple times, assuring that the detective knew that his spot with Intelligence was not in jeopardy, not until they knew more, and certainly not before he and Atwater had a chance to talk about the situation. On one of his visits to see Atwater, he wandered over to the hallway Jay was in, but he never made it inside the room. He spotted outside and walked Erin silently sobbing, before leaving without even saying a word. The sergeant kept himself busy by drowning himself in all sorts of paperwork. It's not like there was a shortage of it.

"Detective Lindsay?" Rays called quietly, but just loud enough to wake the sleeping detective. She looked around room. Antonio had been their when she'd fallen asleep, but he was gone now. Erin concluded that he must've gone to get coffee. He wouldn't leave with her asleep. "I hate to wake you, I know you haven't been sleeping much, but I have some good news."

Erin, suddenly, was wide awake. "Good news?" She repeated, enthusiastically.

Rays nodded. "The tests are back and it looks like your friend is stabilizing. He not out of the woods just yet, but we feel he's strong enough to come out of the coma."

Erin stared in shock and awe. "Really?" She let out in a gasp of unbelieving air. "You're going to wake him up?"

Rays shrugged. "It's more like we're no longer keeping him asleep, but more or less, yes. He'll still have to wake up on his own time, but I'm here to ease him off the medication that is keeping him under. Hopefully, he'll be awake within the next 24 hours or so."

"Fully conscious? Or just awake for a moment or two?"

Rays, once again, shrugged his shoulders. "It's hard to tell in what state he'll wake up, but the important stage is that the odds are looking better that he will wake up. There's room now, for some cautious optimism."

Erin smiled warmly. "Thank you," she whispered as he began to detach the tube that was keeping him in the coma. He voice was frail from the tears of complete happiness that she was now crying.

Rays nodded. "Don't thank me. Thank your friend. I guess I was wrong. His strength was enough to save him. At least for now. I must reiterate that he's still in danger."

Erin smiled. "Small victories, right doctor?"

"Of course detective."

"Hey, Voight," Platt announced, marching up the stairs. "I've got someone who wants to see you." Voight looked up from the files he was filling out to see Platt point to him while looking at someone he couldn't quite make out. "You're welcome by the way," she added before heading back down the stairs.

As the figure approached Voight, he realized who it was and rose to his feet. "Leland," he greeted the man, coming out of him office. The man smiled awkwardly in response. "Here, this way," The sergeant instructed, leading Lee to the break-room. After both sat down at the table, across from each other, Voight spoke up again. "How are you fairing?"

Lee smiled, but there was no happiness behind it. "I've rebuilt my life before. I can do it again."

Voight nodded. "I'm sorry it had to end the way it did."

Lee shrugged. "I don't blame you Voight. I didn't blame you all those years ago, and I don't blame you now." He laughed sadly. "I guess at some point you just hit a point where no matter what else goes wrong, it just doesn't phase you anymore. I think I've reached that point."

"I know how you feel Lee, but it's going to get to better."

"It can't get worse," he pointed out with another sad chuckle. He ran a hand through his hair. "So this is what rock bottom feels like."

"Lee. You have my card, if there's ever anything I can do to help-"

"I don't want your help Hank," he interrupted, bitterly. He let out a slow, jagged breath. "How are your detectives?"

Voight shrugged. "They're hanging in there."

Lee nodded. "So what are you doing here? Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"I'm filing paperwork," he stated bluntly. "What are you doing here? Surely you didn't come to make small talk."

Lee sighed. "I just wanted to talk to you. I never got the chance to really talk to you after Hansen's death and now...I don't want to become Essa, crazy and confused...And I certainly don't want to be Valerie. I don't want to be consumed by everything that's happened to me."

"I understand."

Lee folded his hands together, as if to pray, and pressed his fists against him mouth, breathing deeply against them. "I don't want this to consume you either Hank," he mumbled, before dropping his hands.

Voight raised an eyebrow, confused by the (seemingly) random statement.

"Come on Hank. You're not here because you have to do paperwork. You're avoiding visiting that man- Jay Halstead- the one Valerie took hostage. You're blaming yourself, aren't you?"

Voight shook his head. "What happened to Jay-"

"Wasn't your fault," Lee stated as clearly as possible. "You may think that you've got this all under control, that you're not blaming yourself, but...you are. Heck, I blame myself. There are so many people that we could blame, but at the end of the day. This was Valerie." He let out a deep breath, as tears began to cloud his eyes. "The woman I love- loved, did this. Not us."

Voight sighed. "Doesn't feel that way though, does it?"

"Didn't with Hansen either," Lee whispered sadly. "But it's true. I've lost everything Hank. I have nothing left- nothing but my own bitterness. All I have, is my hatred for you, and my hatred for me." He blinked, trying to usher away the tears, but instead they began to fall down his cheek. He wiped them away with his right hand. "And I don't want to hate you Voight...because I don't want to be like Valerie or Essa. I want to, somehow, stay me- stay sane."

He let out another jagged breath. "But I can't. I'm losing my mind Hank. I'm going insane because I hate you so much...and the worst part is, deep down, I know it's not your fault. I still hate you though."

Voight nodded. "I hate me too."

"That doesn't help Hank. I don't want you to hate yourself. I want you to forgive yourself. I want you to let go, because that's the only way I'll ever be able to."

"I-" Voight tried.

"Ten years ago," Lee interrupted (again). "In the that field, Hansen told you to run. So you ran. You didn't do anything wrong Hank. Valerie had your detective taken, not you. You couldn't have known Hank. You did nothing wrong." He ran his hands down the sides of his face. "...And I still hate you."

Voight frowned. "It's okay. Jay probably does too."

Lee laughed, nearly hysterically. "No he doesn't. That girl who got shot. She doesn't hate you does she? Why would he?"

Voight opened his mouth to speak, but promptly closed it, realizing Lee was right.

Lee smiled, this time it was an honest, genuine smile. "I hate you Hank Voight, not because I should, but because I shouldn't. Because, once again, you are the most direct cause of my suffering that is still breathing, but it's not your fault." More tears fell. "It's really not."

Voight nodded. "Leland. Let me help you."

The man smiled weakly. "I think you already have." He rose from his seat, feeling just the slightest bit better now that he'd gotten all that pressure off his chest. He began to walk away, but paused at the door frame. He turned back to Voight. "I will never be Vanessa or Valerie. I will not my mind. I will not lose my way. I will survive this, and I will do it without you. When I get home, the first thing I'm going to do is burn the card you gave me, because I'm better than that. Because I'm better than you."

Voight nodded, but didn't speak.

"Do me one favour though, Hank Voight," Lee insisted. "Go talk to your detective. Face what's happened, whether it's of your making or not. Do it for me...and do it for Hansen Kane."

"Voight?" Antonio asked as he noticed his boss approaching Jay's hospital room. The younger detective was standing outside the room when he spoke. "I was beginning to think you were never going to swing by."

Voight shrugged. "Well, here I am."

Antonio smiled. "Good news. The doctor just came by a little while ago. He's taken Jay off the medication that was keeping him under. He says Jay could wake up any moment now." He laughed lightly. "Erin officially refuses to fall asleep."

Voight nodded. "Has she been eating?"

"Not as much as she should be. I've been doing my best to get her down to the cafeteria every once in a while, but you know Erin, I can hardly get her to eat food I bring her, let out make her go get food."

Voight smiled. "Sounds about right," he said as he entered the room with Antonio on his heels. "Hey Erin."

The woman shot to her feet, wrapping her father-figure in a tight embrace. "You're here," she whispered in disbelief. He hugged her back with a smile.

"How've you been holding up?" he asked, stepping back from the hug.

She shrugged, giving Jay a sideways glance. The smile she had been wearing slipped off her face once more.

"You should go get something to eat Erin. Go with Antonio."

She shook her head. "He could wake up any minute now."

Voight smiled lightly. "I'll be here," he promised. She moved to object, but he continued, "Besides, you'll only be gone for a few minutes. I'm sure, if he wakes up in that small window, that Jay will be able to stay awake for that long, at least."

Antonio chuckled. "I know I'd stay awake if I was running the risk of an angry Erin Lindsay."

Erin walked over to Jay, placing a small kiss on his forehead. "I'll be right back," she promised just before following Antonio out of the small room and down the hallway. Voight sat down in a chair that was backed up against the window, set about a meter away from the bed of the unconscious detective.

"You gave us all a hell of a scare. You know that right Halstead?" He said, speaking more to the silence that filled the room, than Jay himself.

Voight sighed. "Leland Marshall came to talk to me. I don't know if you know who that is, but he's Valerie's fiance...or at least he was. It was a strange conversation, jumped around a lot. I think Lee just wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't try to make sense out of this chaos...because there really is no sense to be made from it, is there? There's no reason that can explain why someone would do what they did to you...It's just madness. Madness and guilt."

He paused for a moment. "That's why Lee talked to me. Madness and guilt. That's why I'm talking to an unconscious man, even though I know you can't hear me."

He looked down at the hands that rested in his lap. "Madness and guilt," he repeated. "I blame myself for what happened to you Halstead. I hate myself for what they did to you. We may not always see eye to eye, we may not always agree, but you're in my unit Halstead. You are, for all intents and purposes, a member of my team, and therefore, a member of my family. I'm supposed to keep my team safe, but instead I lead you to danger. I'm sorry Jay."

He let out a deep breath. "What's the point of being in a unit if your boss doesn't have your back?" He put his face in his hands. "I know I shouldn't blame myself," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly. "But I do," he added after a small pause. "I do."

He wiped his eyes, banishing away any tears that might dare threaten to fall. "I'm tired of failing my team," he stated, his voice no longer shaky, but instead strong as stone. "I'm tried of letting you all down. I don't mean to...I don't want to...But I do."

He sat up straight, leaning back in his chair. For a while he just sat there in silence, but slowly, the silence began to overwhelm him. Every second of silence outside his mind, made it all louder inside his mind. All his conflicting thoughts began to rage throughout his mind until he simply couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Just wake up already," he said as calmly as he could.

Erin watched him from the doorway. She'd gotten halfway to the cafeteria when she realized she'd left her wallet behind. Refusing to let Antonio pay for her food, she had turned back to go get it.

"Hank?" she called quietly.

He looked up at her. His expression was calm, but somehow, at the same time, it was also unbearably sad. Tears began to form in Erin's eyes as she held her father-figure's sorrowful gaze. She let out ragged breath as she walked towards her own chair by Jay's side. She picked up her wallet and turned back to Voight.

A single tear fell, as she broke out into a huge grin. She then clasped a hand over her mouth, dropping her wallet and placing her other hand (now that it was free) over top of her mouth as well. She continued to let out ragged breaths as Voight rose to his feet and approached her, finally stopping an arm's length away from her.

Her hands slipped down her face until they rested just under her chin, propping up her head. Her smile was still there, unwavering and true. She didn't speak. She didn't have to. Voight heard, loud and clear through the silence, what she was trying to tell him.

They had a reason to hope, a good reason to hope. For the first time, in what felt like years, they could see the light at the end of the tunnel. They could see a happy conclusion to this horrible case.

How'd you like it? I'm actually quite proud. I hope you liked it too. Either way, let me know. I'm thinking there will be 2 more chapters in this story, so if you have an idea for an ending, let me know right away, so I can try to work it in. :)

And how excited are you for the 3-way crossover? (do you think Fire will actually be important this time...lol).

As always, I hope you enjoyed and I will see you next Sunday!

Next Chapter:

Chapter Twenty-Five: When I Said "Can't You Just Believe?"