Uncontrollable

"Explain to me why I am angry." I said quietly. They looked at me steadily, not so much as a blink.

My patience for these people was wearing thin. For only seventeen, I had a lot of patience, but it was dwindling by the minute.

"Let me put it differently then." I said in a whisper, "Explain to me why I am angry, now!" I shouted, startling Hermione and making Ronald and Harry tense. They stood in stony silence.

I was keeping my control at the moment. I could feel my walls cracking though. Pain and stress were getting the best of me. Almost like all of my nerves were being stepped on. I did not want to be angry, but no one here could tell the truth even if you asked nicely. You had to yell and I did not want to do that. Because shouting hurt every broken part of me.

"My patience if waning. My body hurts and I feel like being a bitch." my voice was steady and neutral, the opposite of what I felt, "I will not tolerate silence because even my first years know what respect is." I saw Hermione twitching for the wand that was not there.

"Why are you angry?" Hermione whispered. My control slipped and the fire grew brighter. I took a deep, calming breath and the flames completely died, leaving the place dim and cold. Just how I felt.

"I think I asked you that." I growled, my eyes narrowing.

"No, you told us to explain why you were angry." Harry replied harshly.

"You don't want to be a smart ass right now." I could feel my blood boiling. My control was cracking and I could feel a field of energy form around me. There was a buzzing in my ear.

"Try and stop me." Harry hissed. And I obliged.

I waved my arm and sent Harry flying into the wall by the fireplace. Hermione looked shell shocked, but Ronald started coming at me. I thew their wands to the floor and braced for impact, but it never came.

I had blinked and then I did not see Ronald. I looked to my right and saw Draco on top of him, wrestling him to the ground. I guess Hermione had seen enough of her friends being tossed around like salads because she blind-sided me with a slap. White spots clouded my vision, but it did not hurt. Before I could throw up my guard, she hit me again, but this time it was a close fist. More white spots appeared. But it still did not hurt.

I took a step back and felt the wall against my heel. My heart beat sped up, but I refused to panic. I knew how girls like Hermione fought. Her hand was hurting. She paused her third attack. I took that time to shake the white haze from my eyes. I looked up and zeroed in on my target.

"My turn." I growled and flew at her.

Even with a broken rib, I started out swinging with my left arm. My closed fist hit her above the eye. My right hand connected right under her jaw bone. She went reeling back. I thought about kicking her when I was shoved from behind.

I hit the floor on my bad side. I resisted the urge to gasp. Instead, I ground my teeth together and scrambled to my feet. My breathing was labored. This is when I felt all the pain. I clenched my jaw even harder against the pain.

Everyone ceased to move. Everyone was breathing hard.

"This is ridiculous." Harry said, "We shouldn't be fighting."

"I think it is perfectly justified." I replied around the pain, "You were being an ass, so I decided to be a bitch."

"You have issues." Ronald mumbled through a fat lip. I turned my gaze towards him.

"Very much so. They revolve around losing some very important people in my life and not being able to do a damn thing about it." I rasped out.

"I did." Harry whispered.

"Then why would you treat someone the exact opposite of how you would want to be treated?" I stood up, "No one told me the whole story about Uncle Albus. To blurt it out to get back at someone is cruel. And I expected better from you." Harry flinched.

Hermione groaned and sat up, holding her head. I felt no pity for her. She needed to get a straw and suck it up. That is what I was thinking anyway. If she could hit someone in the face with a closed fist while they had a concussion, she could just suck it up.

"You were born without any mercy." she mumbled.

"Oh yes I was. I could have hit you harder for making me see stars." I growled. "I am merciful. I didn't knock you out like I wanted to." Ronald growled a warning from under Draco.

"You are a heartless bitch!" Hermione said with a raised voice. My spell hit her before I even realized I casted it. She went board stiff and deathly quiet. I realized I used the body binding jinx.

"Undo it now!" Ronald yelled, struggling to get Draco off of him.

"No." I replied, "I'm tired and am going to bed. Have an excellent night on the couch." I snapped my fingers and heard my bed return. I waved my hand and prayed my walls and upholstery was purple again. I was so angry that it might not have worked.

"You whore!" Ronald hissed.

What happened next baffled even me. Draco went flying and I was straddling Ronald before I knew what had happened. I felt every piece of control I have snap. Objects were shattering and zipping across the room.

"My mother did NOT die to leave behind a whore of a daughter." I snarled into his face, "She died knowing that I had respect for myself and I knew better. If you disrespect me and my mother again, I will not hesitate to kill you. My mother taught me better." I finished off whispering the last part. Everyone was impossibly still and quiet.

I clamped my control down and got up from the floor. I had drained myself and everything in my body hurt like a bitch. I walked slowly to my room whilst holding back a wave of tears. I was so tired.

"Henria?" Draco called, but I ignored him. I was barely able to walk straight, "Please stop." he tried again. I stopped and took a deep breathe. I felt Denali land on my shoulder. When did he get here?

"Just leave me be. I'm tired and I'm hurting." I responded quietly, "I'm very unstable." and I went into my room without anyone else stopping me.

I laid myself tenderly down on my bed. Denali perched himself on my pillow next to my head. He hooted softly and something washed over me. I realized it was calm. I was calm for the first time in two weeks.

The calmness quickly brought tears to my eyes, wetting my cheeks gently. I could feel my stress drift out of my body, leaving my muscles relaxed and heavy. My heart hurt, but I knew that would take time to heal and that was okay with me. Everything was okay with me for the first time since I left home.

A soft tapping interrupted my reveile. I was almost angry, but I bit back on my temper and rolled slowly out of bed. The tapping was coming from my window, so I figured it was an owl of sort anyway.

I unlatched my window and Dee fluttered in, carrying a rolled up letter from Katie. I untied the piece of paper from her leg and she glided over to Denali to perch and converse. I unrolled the paper, smiling to myself.

Dear Henny Penny.

Dad told us about your spill. Why do you do such stupid shit, Henria? You make us worry and stay up at night. (sigh) I love you girl.

So, Maerriane Bartles was a down right bitch today. She was talking about you and me and Mark. I made her ass fly backwards, almost hit the school. I also got three days detention for it though. Starting Monday. But it was so worth it.

Kram and I are living quite comfortably with your father. We keep each other sane. We help each other with the lost feeling. Well, okay, your father helps us both with the lost feeling. But we know that having us around make him happy.

Oh! I found your bath robe, you bitch. You were trying to hide it from me! I cannot believe you. How rude!

Anyway, me and Mark are going to Palmer for the State Fair. I will wait for your response after that! I love you and miss you dearly, Henny, my lucky Penny.

Love Always,
Kadie Rose!

I smiled to myself and laid the letter on my vanity. Kadie has a way with words that always brings a smile to my face. I know she did not mean any harm with her words, but they made me miss home even more.

"Henria?" a light voice called through my door timidly. I ground my teeth together and contemplated leaving my mouth shut, "Henria?" the voice called, stronger this time.

"Come in." I said through my teeth. That made my head hurt.

The door opened to reveal Draco. His movements were cautious. Almost like he thought I was a murderer. Except that he was. My temper flared at that thought and a book flew across the room.

"You need to calm down with that or they will suspend you from everything." Draco said softly. His eyes a soft silver grey, showing his pain.

"What I do in my room is between me, myself and I. No one has to know. Because what I do in my room stays in my room." I responded coldly. I turned to my vanity and put Kadie's letter away in a drawer.

"Secret notes?" Draco asked with a small smile playing upon his lips.

"Always. That's how we do it in America." I replied with a mischievous smile, "What do you want?" I asked as I slid the drawer closed.

"I just came to chat a bit about what happened and why it happened." Draco responded to my question as he sat on the corner of my bed.

"I didn't say you could sit." I growled, "What is there to discuss? You tried to kill my uncle and couldn't because you were a pussy and ran like a dog with your tail between your legs. I hate you and that is that. You tried to take the most important thing away from me. And then he ended up dead anyway." I said, devoid of emotion.

"Why did you really keep your emotions in check?" he asked, not getting up from my bed.

"That is none of your business." I replied shortly, "I am tired. I am going to bed." I said firmly.

Draco looked into my eyes and got up from my bed.

"Fine." he said shortly, "I will bid thee ado and goodnight." and he turned around and left my room.

I looked over at Denali and Dee and sighed. Dee tittered softly while Denali rose up and glided to rest on my knee. I stroked his wings and debated if I really wanted to go to bed. Dee decided she wanted some love, so she flitted over and I held out my hand for her to land on.

I started rubbing underneath her beak with a knuckle of my thumb. She squeaked with pleasure. I sighed and had Denali hop up onto my arm. I got up painstakingly slow from my chair. I crossed over to my bed and had the two birds jump from me and land on my pillow.

I took off the clothes Denali brought me about an hour and a half ago. It seemed like ages though. My internal clock was knocked out of whack by my fall. I was down to my shorts and tank top. I looked at my hanging clock and saw it was one o'clock in the morning. I was exhausted.

I climbed into my bed slowly. Dee came and nestled in my hair under my jaw to keep warm. Denali flew up to my head board to stand guard. I smiled at him and he hooted softly to say goodnight. I reached up and scratched him under his beak. He hummed softly and I brought my hand down. I blew him a kiss and closed my eyes to dive into the waters of deep, relaxing sleep.