August 2000
Clary looked down. She was only 9, but she had understand what happened. She had understand when she saw her mother's face full of tears when she came home of a violent hunt, her hands full of blood. She had understand when she heard her father's painful scream, before falling on the garden. She had understand when she saw her father aguing with Alec's and Izzy's father and when she saw Jace entered her house and when Jocelyn rushed on him to hold him in her arms.
She didn't know how, she didn't know why, but she knew that Jace's parents were dead. She knew that she would never see her aunt or her uncle. Clary sighed and pulled on her white dress. The last rits have been done and she was silently coming home. She put her hand on Jace's shoulder and put a gentle kiss on his cheek. Jace was going with the Lightwood. He will live with them now.
"- See you as soon as possible, okay ?"
He nodded and hold her in his arms, as if she was the one who needed to be comforted, before moving away from her. She followed her mother, who was crying. Her brother ran in due to catch up with her and caught her hand.
"- Are you okay ?"
She looked up, toward him. He was 12 and was much taller than her, who was thin and petite. She shrugged and shook her head and put her head against his chest. She was afraid. In a few day, Jonathan would receive his first rune. Alec had did it a few months ago and it will be Rose's turn in 6 months. She knew there was no risk and he was able to survive this but she couldn't help but was afraid.
"- I want to know what happened to them."
Jonathan looked away and sighed. He had never been able to refuse his little sister's demand, even if Clary, who was much more mature than people of her age, didn't use her brother weakness.
"- Promise me to never tell Mom and Dad that I told you."
She showed him her little finger and he bond his finger to it, as they do since they were children.
"- Uncle Stephen died when, with Mom, they were on duty. A group of demon, next to the Italian frontie. The Clave overestimated them. Mom survived. Uncle Stephen did not. She came back home with his corpse on her horse, untill Herondale's manor, which is almost 2 days of riding. Aunt Celine had saw her coming in the distance and had commited suicide. When Mom arrived, it was too late. Jace was sleeping at Alec's so he knew nothing. Dad had a fight with uncle Robert to have the custody of Jace, but he heard them and just took place next to Robert."
Clary made a face, without noticing she was already crying. She knew that her brother was loving Jace as the little brother he never had. She bound their hands and yawn gently, silently thinking about her aunt's and her uncle's death.
"- Do you want me to bear you ?"
She raised an eyebrow.
"- You look tired. Do you want me to bear you ?
- You can't bear me, Jonathan. Hey !"
Without a single word, he had throw her on his back and walked without showing an physical effort. Clary sighed and let him bear her, a little smile on her mouth, slowly stroking his back.
She opened her eyes in her bed, the next morning, without a single memory about the evening before. Did she fall asleep on his brother's arms ? She rubbed her eyes, streched out, and noticed that she was wearing her nightgown, her hair were braided and.. Someone had took off her socks ! Only her mother could have been the one who had put her to bed. Her brother always forgot to take off her socks and put her on his own shirt, and her father couldn't braid her hair.
She goes downstairs and found her mother at her stove. The kitchen, painted in blue and grey, was showing a surprising contrast. Her mother was cooking, wearing her gear, weapons placed in the most awkward places of her body. A weighty spear was placed on the table, which would have made her mother shout if she was in her normal mood. She came behind her Mom and hugged her.
As she wasn't expecting it, she turned toward her and jumped, catching her dagger. She pointed it under her daughter's throat.
"- By the Angel, Clary ! I didn't know it was you ! Forgive me ! I'm so sorry..."
Jocelyn looked at her daughter's throat, where a little dash of blood was dripping. She sat down, hiding her face in her hands. Clary gently held her mother in her arms, as she took her stele in her hands, before putting it in her belt.
"- I was about to put an Iratze on your throat but... You are too young and.. I'm so sorry Clarissa... With Jonathan's first rune, what had happened to Stephen and Celine and.. That poor little Jace... I'm so sorry, Clary, I'm tired but this burden is not yours."
She stroke her daughter's cheek, in silent.
"- I'm afraid. For jonathan. And for Jace.
- For... Oh.. Yes... But don't be afraid. Everything is gonna be okay, you'll see. They will both be okay. Robert andd Maryse will take care of him.
- Even with their new baby ?
- Their baby is already two years old and he's called Maxwell.
- It's an ugly name. I want to call him Max.
- Have you ever noticed that anyone of you was called by their real name ?"
clary thought about it for a minute. Her real name was Clarissa, Izzy's was Isabelle and Jace's was Jonathan, while Rose and Alec were named Rosalina and Alexander.
"- Except Jonathan !
- His real name is Jonathaniel. Don't you dare telling him."
Clary opened her eyes wide, and Jocelyn bursted out laughing.
"- I'm joking ! I'm joking ! But your father would have loved to call him like this."
Clary pretented to throw up and sniffed.
"- Am I smelling something burnt ?
- Damn ! My eggs !"
She rushed towards the stove and throw the eggs on the bean, before giving an apple to her daughter.
"- Here. Have an apple. It's healthy, good and substantial. Is your brother asleep ?"
Clary nodded, crunching her apple.
"- I don't know. He might be. He is always.
- Can you wake him up ? Uncle Michael will give you a lesson in an hour.
- Where should we meet him ?
- At his home."
Clary ran untill Jonathan's room. The road untill Michael Wayland's house was quite long, almost 30 minutes, and her brother was a real diva, able to spent an hour in the bathroom.
She laid down on his brother's bed and huddled against his chest. He grumbled a few times and held her in his arms.
"- What are you doing in my bed ?"
Clary contained a laughter. On the morning, Jonathan could be grumpy.
"- We have an appointment at the Wayland Manor in an hour.
- First on the shower."
She bursted out laughing and ran untill her own bathroom. The manor's size, left by Jocelyn's parents, enable them to have a bathroom per person, which made Jonathan's request totally ridiculous. She braided her hair and put on her gear.
Having been raised in Idris, next to the City of glass, her parents had to educate her by their own. She was not obliged to go to an Institute, except if she asked for it when she is 12 or 18. Her parents had to educate her but they was able to do it as they wanted. With their friends, the Lightwood, the Wayland and the Herondale, they had decided to trained their children together. They were part of the Shadowhunter's elite and nobody was half the Shadowhunter they were. The hardest of their instructors was Robert Lightwood. He was unbeatable in hand-to-hand combat, and advocated endurance. He made Clary run as quick, as long, and as much as Alec, who was almost 4 years old older than her.
She catch another apple and sighed.
"- I don't wanna go.
- Oh, Clary, you have no choice."
Jonathan just entered the kitchen, wearing only flexible pants.
"- We have to meet up with Jace. In..." He looked at the clock. "In five minutes.
- And this is the exact reason why you have to put something on.
- Have you seen the weather ? I go, wearing this."
Clary rolled her eyes and goes upstairs, half running, untill her parents room, where her father was still sleeping. She silently goes toward him and touched his throat, where a Parabatai rune, Clary had always know it where it was, had faded.
"- Good morning, little angel."
Clary jumped and looked at her father, silently. She crowled into his bed, cuddling against his body.
"- I'm sorry for what had happened to Uncle.. I know he was your bestfriend..."
Valentine sighed and kissed his daughter's forehead, with a tenderness that cannot be guessed because of the cold calm he was showing.
She sadly smiled and goes upstairs, running. She kissed her mother's cheek and got off the house, catching up with Alec, Isabelle and Jace, followed by her brother.
She was chatting with Alec while Jonathan and Isabelle were trying to put a smile on Jace face, when something arrived on their way. That wasn't supposed to be able to come near Alicante, but it was here. Made of muscles and tendons, the demon looked like a rat, as big as a bear. With three head and three member superiors.
Jace froze. They all had weapons but they never had to deal with that kind of demon. Isabelle was holding a long knife shaped as a billhook, Alec bends his bow, while Jonathan and Clary were holding their twins dagger, gifted by their parents, but Jace had been unable to make a single move.
"- Clary, goes backwards, right now. Izzy, too.
- What ?! No way !"
Jonathan and Alec grunted while the demon moved forward them, threatening. Alec's hands were shaking, he was unable to shoot. Jonathan shout of anger and rush toward the demon with a perfect guard, while Clary grabbed Alec's arms.
"- Shoot ! Alec ! What are you waiting for ?! He's gonna be killed, Alec shoot !"
The demon, with a violent move, wiped out Jonathan in a tree after hitting him in the hip bone. He crashed on the floor and didn't move, a dash of blood stripping down his silver blond hair. Clary gave a hint of rushing toward him.
"- Enough !"
The demon froze, at the same time that Clary, and Michael Wayland got off the bush. He was looking at them with a dirty look. He snapped his finger and the demon exploded, leaving a myriad of glitter falling on them.
"- It was not a demon, it was a charm, created to test you. You should have been able to destroy that bloody thing. Jonathan will survive, he will be okay. Rosaline stayed home, she's sick, so I prey on testing you. I have an assesment for every single one of you, and it will be fast. Clarissa, Isabelle you simply panicked. A Shadowhunter, whatever its age is, don't panick."
Clary had tears in her eyes. Her uncle was insinuating that she was not a Nephilim and she hated him for it. She put her fists into her pockets and stared at her brother, who had still not move. She was able to see the deep wound on his half naked body, and blood was colouring his silvery blond hair in red.
"- Jace... You didn't move at all. I saw you react only when Clarissa shouted. I saw you thinking but you didn't act. You had the capacity to save them all, but you didn't. They could have died but you didn't move. Jonathan.. Well, Clary, you'll repeat my word for him ? He was moved by the desire to protect you. It can be a good thing, but here, it was not. Always remember that you have to think before acting. He would have need Jace's capacity of reflexion while Jace would have needed Jonathan's bravoure. You'll have to work together. Now, Alec... You are the eldest, you are a Shadowhunter, like me or your parents. Your favorite weapons is a bow, which is a defensive weapons. You should have been able to protect them. You had not been able to save Jonathan. If the demon would have been real, they would have been dead."
Alec didn't say a word. He stay silent, facing his uncle words.
"- The lesson is over. Have a good day, children."
He went away and disappeared in the forest, without a look. Clary rushed towards her brother with Isabelle, while Jace put a hand on Alec's shoulder.
"- You did your best and he betrayed us.. Don't blame yourself.."
Alec freed himself from Jace's hands and turned around, coming home, without talking to anyone. Jace went on his knee, closed to Jonathan.
"- Is he okay ?
- I have no idea. We have to take him home."
Jace nodded and gently slap Jonathan's cheek.
"- Come on Jonathan, get up, you damn lazy."
He lifted him up, put an arm around him, helped by Isabelle.
Clary followed them, silently. She saw his brother's blond hair, sticky because of the blood, and she heard her uncle's word,like a litany in her head. "A Shadowhunter don't panick. A Shadowhunter don't panick. A Shadowhunter don't panick." She retained her tears and her anger. He was just a fool. Just three of them entered the Morgenstern manor, Isabelle was back at her own home, leaving Jonathan with his sister and Jace. Jocelyn let out a scream, seeing her son's bloody body.
"- Jonathan ?! By the Angel, what happened ?! Where are Alec, Izzy and Rose ?!"
Clary told her the whole story, with a hasty voice, while Valentine came, to hold them in his arms, relieved. He turned toward his wife.
"- Is he okay ?'
She nodded and stroke her son's hair.
"- I'll catch up with Michael. What he did was unfair and dangerous, what he said was false. You have the right to panick, as long as your warrior's soul finally get the upper hand. You will learn. I will teach you. Jace your...
- I knew it. I knew it was a fake but I couldn't find the words to tell them..."
It was the first time since his parents' death, that he was talking to an adult. Valentin tousled Jace's golden hair and smiled.
"- It doesn't surprise me. I was about to say that your intellect is the thing that will help you during your fights. All your fights."
He looked at her wife with a collusion look and got off the house. He was blaming Michael for the children's pain. He had been intransigent but they was only children. He had been really harsh with Jace, who was already in pain.
Clary turned toward Jace, as he said:
"- I'm sorry to not succed in saving your brother.."
A tear was running all down his cheek. Only one thought was running throught his mind. You had the capacity to save them all, but you didn't. He hadn't been able to save his father, his existence didn't prevent his mother from commiting suicide and now, he was unable to help his friends...
He noticed he was crying his eyes out only when he noticed he was wrapped by arms. He didn't cry when he learned his parents' death, he didn't cry when he learned those death's causes, he didn't cry during the funeral, and now, he was bursting into tears without any apparent reason. He clenched his fits and went away from his aunt, who was looking at him, tears in the eyes, while he was avoiding her gaze. Clary had been sitting closer to her brother and was looking at them, worried.
"- You wouldn't have been able to do something, Jonathan.."
Only his parents called him by his birth name. He was proud of his name, because of his uncle and one of his best friend. But now, no one would ever call him this way again... He looked up to his aunt and rushed in her arms, bursting in tears. Jocelyn was dying of wipping away his tears but he needed to cry. During a few days, the child acted as if he was unbreakable, untouchable. But he was only ten... He had to release his anger. She lifted him up, helping him to sit on her lap and rock him against her chest, silently crying with her nephew.
Valentine came back home and look at his wife, sitting on the sofa, Jace and Clary were laying on each side of her, their head stucked together on Jocelyn's lap, both of them totally asleep. Jonathan, sitting, crossed legs on the table, was drawing runes on a notebook. He looked up to his dad and looked down quickly.
"- Come here.."
He complied, answering to the sweet order. He came near to his father, without looking at him. He was ashamed. Ashamed of his behaviour against the demon. He only wanted to protect his friends and his sister. She was the most important thing of his existence, he would give his life for her. It was his brother's duty. And he had failed.
"- Look at me Jonathan."
Jonathan looked at his father, who was so alike him. He was smiling and Jonathan couldn't understand the reason of that proud smile.
"- Dad, I...
- I'm proud of you, Jonathan. You gave all you have to protect them, regardless of the consequences on your life. You will learn to coordinate with them and you will not ever need to protect them, because you will protect each other. You have no idea of how much I am proud of you."
He held his son in his arms. Jonathan, surprised, cuddled up to him, breathing a huge sigh of relief. He had blame himsef all day long. He thought he had disappointed everyone. But his father never lied and his father was proud. If his father was proud of him, he could be proud of him too.
"- Can you carry Clary on your bed ? You'll sleep together and I'll carry Jace on the little mattress. Is it okay for you ?"
He nodded and went to his sister, holding her carefully. He found it harder than usual because of his injury. He had spent the afternoon resting while Jocelyn had kept the children busy. But he was still able to carry his little sister. He carried her on his own bedroom and undressed her. He dressed her with one of his large tee shirt, which looked on her like a nightgown. He brought up the mattress and took off his tee shirt, and then, he went downstairs, kissing his sleeping mom's forehead. When he came back in his room, Jace was asleep on the mastress, stucked to his bed. He was sleeping like a log, relaxed and happy. Jonathan smiled to his father.
"- Good night, Daddy.
- If one of them had a nightmare, wake me up. Good night, Son. I love you and I'm proud of you."
Jonathan nodded without intending to wake up his Dad if one of those child would have a nightmare. He wanted to protect them. Whatever the cost.