I do not own Watchmen or Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
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Captain Hammer was out of hiding, and had been for twenty years now, but he still went to see the therapist every Saturday at three o'clock. It turned out that he had more underlying issues than he could count, although he was never very good at counting. Also, the realization of his mortality had left a lasting psychological scar, which would sound good in the biography, but was interfering with his crimefighting.
The therapist had finally convinced him to go to Penny's grave.
As he walked through the graveyard, he tried very hard not to remember the fact that there were a lot of dead bodies buried underground - potential zombies, the lot of them. When he died, he wanted his body to be hurled into space, so that if he came back as a zombie, he would infect the aliens, not the humans.
There was somebody else walking through the graveyard towards Penny's grave.
The middle aged, sweaty little man wore a pair of old jeans and a ratty t-shirt that read "I Survived Bleemar". He carried a blanket and a small pot of crocuses. As he and Captain Hammer both walked closer to the grave, he recognized the sweaty Indian.
"You're that higher-up in the Henchman's Union, Moist, right?"
Moist jumped, finally noticing Captain Hammer. "Shit," he said. "Nobody told me there was an occult resurrection today."
"Uh... I don't think so..."
Moist paled. "Zombie incursion?"
"God, I hope not."
Moist sighed in relief, then hesitated. "So... what are you doing here, then?"
"I came to visit my dead girlfriend," said Captain Hammer, as heroically as he could muster when surrounded by dead people and a Henchman. "And you, villain?"
"I'm visiting the grave of the person my best friend loved," said Moist, completely deadpan, and a little bit angry. "Like I've done every week. For the past twenty years. Where the hell have you been all that time?"
"I... what?"
"You remember, Doctor Horrible? The guy who you tried to kill the day Penny died? Yeah, before he went away, he asked me to bring flowers to Penny's grave for him. Which you have never done. Never even paid anybody to drop off flowers for you. Jerk." Captain Hammer was shocked. No one had ever called him a jerk before. Worse names, if they were a villain and he'd screwed up their dastardly plans, but nothing personal like that. "Whatever. I can't make you leave, even though I sure as hell want to. Just leave us alone."
"Us?"
Moist was done talking to Captain Hammer. He spread the blanket on the ground and sat down, putting the crocuses next to the rest of the potted garden on Penny's grave. "Hey, Penny," he said. "Sorry I can't make him leave. I mean, where has he been all these years, and he thinks he can just show up now, and act like he has the right to remember you?
"But anyway, I know you want to hear about Little Billy. He's three now - birthday was on Tuesday. He's scary smart, you know, a lot like his dad. He got a chemistry set for his birthday - one of those old-school ones with the actual chemicals - and he already blew up a dumpster just to find out what would happen.
"That chick in leather, Comedienne? She's pregnant. I know, right? Who would have thought? She's going to stay with Sonia until she has the baby. She looks... happy. No, more than that... content. I don't think I've seen her this content. The baby's due in December, I think.
"Sonia seems to be doing... okay. She's hanging out at his grave less and less these days - I think she'll pull through, since she's got Little Billy to live for. I hope so, anyway. Growing up without parents screwed Doc up pretty bad, before he even met you. And then when he went there, and became Rorshach... but he's dead now, with you, I hope. Say hi to him for me, by the way.
"Anyway, I'm going to go home. I've got a date with Hourglass. Oh, and Gadgettar says he might be able to get the two-way transdimensional portal working tomorrow, so I can meet my... my kind-of nephew. If it doesn't explode and kill us all, I'll see you next week," said Moist. "Bye Penny."
"Wait," said Captain Hammer. "Doctor Horrible didn't die twenty years ago?"
"No," said Moist, coldly. "He died three years ago. A hero, in another dimension. He had actual friends at his funeral, which is more than they'll be able to say for you. Now, unless I'm mistaken, any attack by a super-powered being on anyone within five feet of a graveyard is considered assault. So you will leave me alone, and I will leave you alone, and we can try to kill each other if we see each other tomorrow."
He left, glaring at the hero. Captain Hammer just stood there, alone among the dead people, for five minutes until he turned to look at Penny's grave. "Um..." he said, not really knowing where to begin. "Hi, Penny..."