Hi everyone, RonaldWeasleyTheHero bringing you another chapter of feels(sorry been on Aruani tumblr for too long). lol 17 reviews since i posted the last chapter, you guys have me like where did all these Aruani fans come from!? you guys just snuck up on me. but I will embrace you all. anyways here is the new chapter hope you like it (replies are at the bottom this time).
Chapter 4: Guilt
There was a tense silence in the air, it seemed like all the occupants in the room knew what was about to happen, yet no one wanted to breach the subject. Erwin sat down on the chair that had been previously occupied by Annie, while Levi just leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and staring out the window seemingly uninterested in the conversation that was about to take place.
"Do you know who I am?" Erwin asked, breaking the silence.
Armin nodded, "Commander Erwin Smith, you're responsible for the Survey Corps."
"Good, yes I am Erwin. I was informed by your instructor Keith Shadis that you had been injured, unfortunately I can tell that is very true" Erwin's wide blue eyes scanned his cast.
"I-it was an accident, I chose this myself and I alone will take the consequences of my actions." Armin said, his eyes shining with determination.
Levi suddenly scoffed, "We got a nice guy over here, trying not to tell it like it is. That blonde girl fucked up, you bailed her out, now you're screwed."
Erwin stared at him, "Rest assure Arlert that we acknowledge the fact that it was an accident. Annie Leondhart will not be held accountable for what happened in any way, your kindness is misplaced."
"I-i-i...okay" Armin stuttered out before agreeing. If they said nothing would happen to her than he had had no choice but to trust them.
"Correct me if I'm wrong but I have the feeling that you already have some idea of how major injuries like yours are handled."
Armin felt like a massive weight had been dropped on his head, so the moment had finally arrived.
"Yes, I'm aware." Armin replied, his voice lifeless.
"Unfortunately at the present moment there is nothing we can do about the matter, your injury is just too severe. In approximately two days you will be escorted to a hospital within wall Sina."
two days, that was much less time than he anticipated. Armin felt like crying, but he didn't, not wanting to seem even more pathetic in the presence of a superior officer especially not one that was part of the Survey Corps.
"Commander Erwin sir, I understand all this, but no disrespect, w-why are you the one telling this?"
Armin avoided the man's intense blue eyes as he asked his question.
Avoiding eye contact, does he have confidence issues? intelligence is often underrated in the academy maybe he has been been bullied by his peers, or maybe as a figure of authority I simply intimidate him.
Erwin glance at Levi who gave a slight nod in response, the small dark haired male stepped outside the room. Armin assumed he was outside guarding the door making sure no one was listening in.
Erwin turned to Armin, "Armin, I'm going to ask you a series of questions completely for my own ends and purposes, so would you do me a kindness and indulge me for a few minutes?"
Armin, still utterly bewildered by the situation, agreed nonetheless " Yes sir!"
"What do you think is your greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses are?"
Armin felt he was being evaluated for some kind of job interview, but he had agreed to this. "My greatest strength would probably be in logistics. I seem to do better in subjects like that than any other, but at the same time I lack dexterity and strength in my arms, my body is naturally weak and fragile so training my body physically yields results but not in the level that a soldier should be, My use of the 3d maneuver gear is mediocre at best, and training exercises in where your goal is to slice the nape of the neck of dummy titans is often shallow.
Erwin smiled as the boy talked, had the young trainee even realized he had not stuttered once during his statement? More importantly his complete dissecting of his own abilities was remarkable.
He is keenly aware of his own abilities, a person that knows himself can understand others better than anyone else.
"How about the titans themselves what do you think?"
"I- I think they're t-terrifying sir."
Erwin frowned inwardly.
No good, he's retreating into himself, I need him to answer it in the same manner as he did the first.
"I understand that some recruits had witnessed firsthand the fall of Shinganshina, were you one of them?" Erwin asked.
Armin's eyes became haunted as he remembered the day "Yes, I was there. I saw the Colossal Titan.
"What were your first actions when you saw it?"
Erwin watched as the boys body sagged in shame, "I froze, I was scared, I didn't know what to do with myself."
I don't think most men would react any other way Arlert.
"When I saw the colossal titan I knew that today was the day that they would breach the wall. When I finally got of control myself, my friends Eren and Mikasa had run off back to their home, I was worried something might have happened so I asked a man I knew called Hannes to go and help them in case anything happened." Armin spoke robotically, his eyes wide and unblinking as if he was reliving the memory itself.
Erwin made sure to keep quiet and observe the boy closely as he spoke, just from the small conversation he had already come to the conclusion that the boy was very intelligent and well spoken, Erwin could clearly why this boy was at the top academically.
But what kind of man are you Arlert?
"...I didn't know what happened till Eren and Mikasa arrived at the boat that was evacuating everyo-"
"Armin," The commander interrupted "How did you feel the when the government executed the majority of the refugees that escaped."
Armin was quiet for awhile, then with clenched teeth he answered "I-i think it was necessary sir."
Images of his grandfather flashed through Armin's mind. his prized hat, his last goodbye.
He didn't even flinch when I told him that it was an execution, the boy must have figured this out some time ago.
Erwin lips twitched slightly, the urge to smile almost overwhelming him
This boy...
Commander Erwin stood up, startling Armin slightly. "Levi." He said.
The much shorter but somehow much more intimidating man walked into the room "What is it?"
"We are leaving, is there anything you would like to say to trainee Arlert?"
Levi scanned the room for a few brief seconds, then his gazed fixed on Armin's, "The right corner of the room is dusty. Fix it."
The Corporal left the room without another word.
Armin managed to stutter out a confused, "Y-yes sir."
The Commander, gave him a nod of respect. "I hope you have a speedy recovery trainee Arlert."
Then he too left the room.
When he was gone, Armin clutched his head in frustration, feeling the strong urge to smack his head against the wall repeatedly. "Aaa! Damnit, how can you be so stupid! You stupid, worthless idiot! Talking to the Commander like that! Stupid! Stupid!"
Armin continued to berate himself heavily, so much so he missed the creaking of the door as someone walked in. Armin didn't noticed the other occupant that was now in the room, acting out his self loathing being a far too important task to him."
"You probably came off like an arrogant jerk, and how does the little one expect me to fix a dusty room, it doesn't make sense! Damn it, I'm so stupid!"
Armin finally stopped his mini riot to notice the female in the room "Annie!"
"You don't have to stop on my account..."
He let out an embarrassed blush at what she had just witnessed.
"Sorry, I just...never mind."
Annie, not wanting to waste anytime and not exactly a fan of subtlety got straight to the point. "So what did they want?"
"They?"
"Don't play dumb with me Armin." she told him closing the distance between them. Now she was straight in his face, "What would the Commander of the Survey Corps and Humanities strongest soldier want with someone like you."
Armin had a feeling that continuing to interact with Annie Leondhart would do wonders for his self-esteem.
"Now tell me what they wanted." It was a demand.
Armin stared into her eyes, bewildered by her behavior. "To be honest I don't really know myself what they wanted with me. Commander Erwin just asked me a few questions."
"Nothing else?"
Arming shook his head, "No...It was probably just a courtesy thing," He laughed bitterly, an action that unsettled Annie, "Nothing like sending someone powerful and influential to ease the pain when they're about to throw you away."
Annie froze. "What?"
"Huh?" Armin had just realized what he had let slip, well if somebody had to know it might as well be her. "The Injury to my leg will take too long to heal so they are sending me to a hospital inside Wall Sina."
"For how long?" Annie Asked stepping away from him, her body starting to feel strangely stiff.
Armin shrugged "It depends, the nurses said three to five months, but even then I have to repay my debt to king, didn't you know that's how it worked?"
No...she hadn't known this, she shook her head in disbelief, "N-no I didn't know."
"Annie?" Armin called, the blonde girl seemed to be staring past him, her mouth slightly agape "I-im sor-" she began but she was unable to utter the words.
Armin's eyes widened in surprise, was she feeling guilty? Did she think it was her fault?
"I-I'm sor," She looked down, a haunting look appearing on her face. "I'm sorry."
"Annie, listen its nothing, really!" He could tell he wasn't getting through to her.
"Annie, its not your fault!" Armin told her firmly, but the girl acted as he hadn't even spoken, lost in her own thoughts, her own guilt. For a moment Armin felt himself panic, he had not expected her to take it like this, not at all.
Armin reached out, the movement causing mild pain in his injured leg. He grabbed her hand and squeezed, .
"Annie, it's not your fault, it's okay." Whatever Armin had done seemed to free her out of whatever world she had trapped herself in.
Her eyes suddenly narrowed and she snatched her hand away from his grasp."Don't!"
Armin flinched as a look of anger crossed her face, he knew it wasn't directed at him but he couldn't help the fear that suddenly overtook his entire being. Armin mentally recited the opening pages of one of his favorite books in the past to calm down.
"Annie," his voice was slightly nervous, "It's not your fault, I don't blame you at all."
For a brief moment he really feared that she would strike him but luckily all she did was gradually shift back to her poker face.
"You're right, it wasn't my fault so there is no reason to feel guilty"
"Annie?" now he was really confused, she had done a completely turn around on him.
"This is the world we live in Armin, When your as weak as you are, the strong only use you when its convenient and throw you away when they are done."
"Annie...What are y-" Annie continued speaking over him,
"Did you honestly think if you studied hard enough you would succeed Armin? This is reality."
"Annie..." Armin whispered her name softly, realizing what she was doing.
"You should actually consider yourself lucky, the chances of you surviving in the Survey Corps is slim to none, at least you will be in the castle."
"Annie...stop it" he reached out for her hand again. But she took a small step back out of his reach. At this point she wasn't even looking at him.
"A-lot of people would kill for the chance to be inside the inner-walls, aren't you a fortunate one Armin."
Armin didn't say a thing waiting for her to finish whatever she was doing, after letting the silence continue for a moment longer Armin spoke, "Are you done now?" There was an edge to his voice, something Annie had not expected.
She opened her mouth to speak but he didn't let her.
"Good!" Armin said loudly, cutting her off, his voice became softer after that,
"Because you won't ever convince me you are a bad person, not now not ever." The brief flash of stunned surprise that crossed her face had not gone unnoticed by Armin, unfortunately it had vanished as soon as it had appeared.
Annie looked down, her hair shadowing her face. She hadn't been able to fool him, she didn't think she ever did, she didn't think she ever would.
"Idiot..." it was barely audible but Armin had caught it.
Armin felt himself relax a little, the heavy air that as permeating the room before was slightly alleviated.
"When are you leaving?" Annie asked, finally looking directly at him.
"In Two days, that's what Commander Erwin told me," Armin replied.
"How long will you be gone?"
Armin felt like she still sounded really distant.
"How long?" Annie asked again, mildly irritated at his lack of response.
"Oh, umm I'm not sure, probably a few months at least. I don't know if I'll even be able to come back."
her lips became thin, Armin felt awkward when her eyes began to scan him up and down as if she was taking in his image.
"You'll come back."
He couldn't say that he was one hundred-percent sure, but to Armin it sounded like she was speaking to herself not to him.
He gave her a luminous smile to eliminate her of whatever doubts she had, "Yeah, I Will."
Annie was glad that everything was returning to normal, the minute she had heard of his inevitable departure to Wall Sina due to his injury, an overwhelming amount of guilt had consumed her, and for a brief instance she had let her mask down. When Armin had touched her hand, the warmth had snapped her back to reality but it had also cleared her mind, and the first thing that she thought of was to push him away. since he was leaving the best option would be to forget they ever even talked to each other.
Obviously, that had failed miserably. Armin had seen right through her and the fact both frightened and excited her.
"I'm really disappointed, we just became friends too..."
Annie really wondered how he could say such embarrassing things out loud.
"Annie, can you do me a favor?" Armin asked.
"sure, as long it's not a goodbye kiss, I don't do those."
He blushed brightly, Annie would never admit it but she enjoyed when that happened, "I-no I mean...um just a normal favor, n-none of that."
What was he getting all flustered for? It was just a joke. Maybe she was really as bad at humor as she thought she was.
"I Just want you to call Eren and Mikasa for me, I can't exactly do it in my condition." He said, pointing to his injured leg.
"Alright." She was making her way to leave when she noticed Armin looking at her strange.
"What?"
"Oh its nothing, I was just expecting a little more resistance." he confessed.
she shrugged, "Its not a big deal."
"Yeah but even so, a few days ago you would have been all-" Armin cleared his throat his eyes narrowing while he deepened his voice.
"Im not some errand girl Arlert." Armin laughed at his own poor imitation of her.
Annie blinked, was that supposed to be her? Why the hell did his voice get more masculine instead of less, she wasn't that bad was she? She would've laughed if the act wasn't such a foreign thing to her, instead she smiled just slightly and his eyes lit up at the simple gesture.
"Whatever..." she waved her hand nonchalantly over her shoulder as she walked out.
Annie proceeded through the narrow hallway outside of Armin's room, brainstorming on where Eren and his lapdog might be at this time.
"I'm not some errand girl Arlert." Annie muttered to herself, testing out the words on her tongue.
She cursed.
That's exactly what she would've said.
So there you go, I took too long since my brother's came to visit and EVERYTIME i try to write fanfiction they are just over my shoulder like "what are you gay!?" and "Are you really writing your girl porn again" it made me so angry, the only time i was able to write was at school. thank god they are gone now -_-.
NinjaCats: lol im glad you find it funny, a good mix of humor and seriousness always helps the story along in my opinion
Goldflame: Yeah lol i think Levi scares everybody to be honest XD
Mizuki00: sorry for the mistakes, ill try to fix them, but im glad you enjoyed the story nonetheless
Aishichan11: thanks, im glad i inspired somebody, i know how hard writing fanfiction can be, and how sometimes you just have no motivation, but keep writing you'll get it
Mizuki-chan-18: yeah suspense will be part of the story but also humor, since i dont want to bore people by being serious all the time, even attack on titan has the occasional laugh between all the dead characters =)
SmittiMJC: thanks for the compliments, i really cant wait to reveal somethings to you guys too, be patient with me and i promise i will at least try =)
Istaylazy: lol your profile picture killed me bro! XD
Mostarda Productions: yes, u will have to wait lol, yes i still have trouble with her character to be honest, as i take ages to make sure her lines are perfect and not out of character, Armin is easy for me =)
dacymarie: dont worry about the fangirling Gurlfriend ive been on tumblr so much im practically one myself lol.
wwefollower: here is ur update good sir!
King: oh dont worry i will =)
Feathersnow: im glad u like it and found it funny, being different is the one thing i really want to contribute to this fandom ( but nothing too ridiculous)
squaloking: you got it my man!
guest: lol breathe dude breathe!
wanxers: lol hahaahaha im special!
Yuyui: if u like annie keep reading my friend =)
I have revised chapters 1-3, hopefully its an easier read. read and review guys =)