April 15, 2015
Week 30, 281 AC

The Rock is massive. And I mean, massive. It can make anyone standing before it feel like an ant. Not only that, it also has a serene sort of beauty about it. Imposing, intimidating, sinister, but charming in its own way - that is how I would describe this future home of mine. I was so awed the first time I entered that instead of paying heed to the men and women gathered to greet us, I asked Jaime and Addam (who has lived here more than half his life) a multitude of questions.

Ser Kevan, castellan of Casterly Rock and the head while his elder brother is away, didn't seem particularly insulted by the lack of attention I gave them, but Lady Genna, who is Jaime's aunt and the Lady of the Rock in all but name felt very much disgruntled. That is something I've come to learn over the last three weeks: unlike in Riverrun, here people judge me by every single action of mine. Every misstep, every hesitation, is accounted for. Unfortunately my very first action in Lady Genna's presence, that is - apparently - ignoring her, built into constant scrutiny of me and unwarranted disdain.

I spend most of my time with her; lucky me. The woman is clearly Monster Lannister's younger sister, and a slavedriver if anything. That she is a Frey by marriage does not sweeten the deal. She's a bully, plain and simple. She bullies her husband most of all, her eldest son Cleos often enough, her brothers occasionally and the staff at the Rock every minute of every day. As I'm her cupbearer now, I count as a part of the staff - nice little demotion it is from a Lady of Riverrun - and thus by the end of every day I have hardly any energy left in me. I carry her messages across the castle, help her with the ledgers when she's in a mood to be trustworthy, get criticised for my skills with the needle (rather, lack thereof) when we sit with the other ladies. The woman holds a huge grudge against me, and is determined to make it known.

Ladies Dorna and Darlessa, though, are both kind souls. Not being Lannister by birth, it is not unexpected. They are together most of the time, often the sweetness and smiles to Lady Genna's sharpness and once even apologised to me about their sister-in-law, claiming that she was only over-protective of her nephews and thought no woman less than Jaime's equal should become his wife. She had raised him and his siblings after their mother's death, they said; she is like a parent to the three of them. Still, it did not make me any less angry about her disdainful gazes - though I did start making efforts to conceal it better.

The other Lannisters treat me mostly with indifference, to be honest. Few seem eager to get to know me. Ser Kevan and Lady Dorna's marriage was, according to a handmaiden, for love, but it had borne no children yet while the ever-missing Ser Tygett and Lady Darlessa's marriage was as political as political could get. They have no children unsurprisingly - the two find it difficult to even talk to each other at a length from what I can tell, let alone sleep together. Ser Stafford, who is the late Lady Joanna's brother and Lord Monster's cousin (frown-inducing on many levels, but nothing quite as bad as the Targaryens), has three children, all still quite young. His wife, Lady Myranda, is present with Ladies Darlessa and Dorna often but hardly speaks. Lady Shiera, another of the distant cousins' wives, is more closeted and doesn't interact much with others. Her children are small as well. Save for Jaime, Addam (who now I know is Lady Darlessa's nephew) and little Tyrion, not many heed me much. Never mind that in a few years, it will be me they'll have to address as Lady Lannister…

Which, in spite of the fact that my apprehensions about Jaime have more or less died down, I'm not much looking forward to becoming.

Tyrion and I do get along though. All for the better. He's a nice boy, shares with me a love for books and has an intellect high as Casterly Rock. That's not to say he's quiet or anything - he can be a hellion if he wants to. I think he loves that there's one more reader in his house now, and sits beside me at mealtimes when Lady Genna is in a good enough mood - the only thing she even remotely, grudgingly seems to approve about me is that I treat Tyrion as I would treat any other eight-year old lordling instead of a monster. Sorry to disappoint you, woman, but that specific title is reserved exclusively for your elder brother, not his genius of a son.

He is a genius. It's a pity few see it. Despite Lord Tywin's brothers and sister and their children being gentle enough to him, the other Lannisters are not as good. I don't understand what their problem is. Although considering how Tyrion all but confirmed that his father hates him, I'd wager that these fools look to garner the favour of their lord by harassing his despised offspring. That's another thing I'm slowly coming to learn: that everything in history books is real. The lords and ladies relentlessly play at gaining riches for their family by plotting and maneuvering their way into the good graces of their liege. Politics, it seems, is a common factor through every age of history.

I did ask Jaime what he thought about it, on the rare occasion that we were both free and walking in the Stone Garden of the Rock. He shook his head and told me of his father's failed attempts at schooling him in the ways of court. Not his cup of tea, obviously. "What could a swordsman hope to gain from layers and layers of intrigue?" he asked, in a rare moment of seriousness.

Later I told him about Shirei's gift of the dagger, and he offered to teach me how to use it. "What could I possibly need to know to use it?" I wondered, which for some reason led to Jaime collapsing in laughter. I frowned at him, but the ponce would not stop. "Sorry," he apologised, not actually meaning it, still with the smirk on the face. "Cersei knew more about arms at seven. You're so remarkably clueless that it makes me hard to control my self. What could you possibly need to know to use a dagger, indeed," he guffawed.

Gods, he can be infuriating sometimes. Cersei Lannister though - I am rather curious to meet my future sister-in-law. She's been praised and spoken highly of by Jaime many a times, but not so much by Addam. He claims that she once campaigned to remove him from Casterly Rock because Jaime had been spending more time with him instead of her. They had been very young, to be fair, but Addam warned me that she's Lady Genna-level protective of her twin brother. "He came into the world holding her, and she never lets anyone forget that," he said. Jaime had joked and laughed off my wariness about his aunt; I wondered how he would react if Cersei and I didn't get along. I voiced that to him, and I could see him becoming uncomfortable. Something troubled him, and he changed the topic, avoiding the question. No idea what that was about.

Tyrion, though - once while playing with him, I mentioned his sister and that caused him to go all silent. I thought he was going to cry when Lady Dorna arrived and whisked him off. His Uncle Gerion, had arrived from Lannisport for the night. Now he is someone I would never have imagined to be born the Monster's brother. Ser Gerion insisted I call him by name - "I'd have told you to call me Geri, my dear, but it would be terribly confusing a few years later if you had to call myself and your son by the same short name, no? Oh, Tyrion, how mad do you think your lord father would be when Jaime named his heir after me?" he chortled, and downed an entire glass of red wine from the Arbor without waiting for a response from his nephew. Ser Gerion is an interesting man to say the least. Not afraid to make his thoughts known. The bachelor of Tytos Lannister's pride. Lord Monster had suggested a number of matches for his youngest brother, but all of them had been refused. It reminds me far too much of Uncle Brynden and Lord Hoster back in Riverrun.

I miss them. Well, not Lord Hoster obviously, but Uncle Brynden and Edmure and Cat and Shirei. Marq, too. I wrote them each a raven, but I found that I couldn't quite express what I wanted to say well enough. Good thing is, Jaime says we will be attending the Tourney at Harrenhal and I get to meet my cousins and my aunt there. The other Tullys will not be attending, busy as they will be planning Cat's wedding - but at least Marq will be there. What is not so reassuring is the fact that half the kingdom is said to be attending. Even more scrutiny than the Rock.

One thing that feels great here in the Westerlands? Wandering the streets of Lannisport. It is the closest thing to a city here in Westeros, and it does make me nostalgic so. I realise how much I miss home. My real home. I think constantly about what is happening there, and the Lannister-named city doesn't make the memories any less prominent. It is a port, essentially, and the point of convergence of three major "roads" (though honestly these are barely vague paths that show the way). The alleys are bustling with people: sailors, merchants, shopkeepers, hawkers, smiths, as well as people engaged in more… illicit activities. Tyrion is not allowed to leave the confines of the Rock, so I've only been to Lannisport accompanied by Jaime and Addam on the days where Lady Genna cuts some slack. It provides some measure of enjoyment between hours of following her orders. The people here love Jaime - not kidding, they would all marry him if they could, girl and boy, man and woman. Their own young golden knight. To my amusement, the Lannister girls of Lannisport threw me dark looks when I was introduced as Jaime's betrothed. They even mooned over him when they thought no one was looking. Though to be fair, he is someone to be mooned over until the arrogance becomes prominent.

Life here isn't terrible but it's not as blissful as Riverrun. Then again, the grass is always greener on the other side. Had the old man kept me there instead of sent me away, he might have bossed over me worse than Lady Genna. Good riddance in that respect. Good riddance.

notes: Thank you for the reviews/follows/favourite on the previous chapter! I hope this one gets the same response. We're drawing to the close of the first arc and I know just what to do with all the characters right now. This part ends with Lysa reaching Harrenhal, and an epilogue two months after that. The actual events of Harrenhal will be covered in the sequel fic, tentatively titled Uprising. This will start off with two tourney chapters, after that five chapters detailing the rebellion, all from different points of view - I'm debating Jaime, Benjen, Elia Martell and a few others, ending with Stannis or Tygett Lannister. If you have an interesting title for this part, I'll be very much interested to know. For any other suggestions, as well, please do review. They make my day.

Cheers.