Monika woke up in the morning, bright and early, as usual. Her boss wasn't bothering her too much these days, and she enjoyed her morning with Feliciano. However, halfway through Monika's breakfast preparation, Feli's phone buzzed.
"Dammit." he muttered, "Germany, I have to work today. I'm sorry."
Monika smiled softly. "That's okay. I'll invite Matthew or Alfred over today, I think."
Feliciano nodded. "I have to leave right now." he stood up on his tiptoes to kiss her on the cheek.
"Have a good day." she said vaguely, buttering some toast, "Ich liebe dich."
"Ti amo!"
And then Feliciano was gone, and Monika was alone for the first time in days. Gilbert had taken her advice and decided to stay with Roderich when they pursued their, uhm, nightly activities. She pulled her phone out as she sat down with her toast and coffee, and texted Alfred. For some reason, she was more in a boisterous, loud mood, and she wanted the company of her extremely loud friend. He texted her back after a few minutes.
Sorry, dudette, I have a date.
With who? Details! Germany responded, proud of her friend for finally scoring someone. Alfred had vaguely mentioned his mystery boyfriend a couple times, but had brushed off all of their questions.
He told me not to tell anyone, but...Kiku!
Kiku Honda? My friend Kiku?
The exact same.
Amazing. Good luck!
Thanks. Have a good day. Maybe shoot Mattie a text, he's free today?
Monika took the American's advice and texted Matthew. He arrived within the next forty minutes.
Matthew was unhappy, Monika noticed the moment he stepped inside, shoulders slumped, red-rimmed eyes. She pulled him into a hug, closing her front door behind him.
"Matthew?" she asked, "Are you okay?"
Matthew sniffled. "Uh, yeah. I'm o-" a dry sob wracked his body.
"Canada?"
He shook his head and just leaned into Monika's body. She led him to the couch, and they both sat down. Canada didn't speak, just clung onto Monika's broad-shouldered frame. She didn't comment, allowing the quiet Canadian to cry it out for a while. It took him ten minutes to compose himself and untangle himself from Monika's arms. Matthew's cheeks were tear-streaked, and he dabbed at them with his sleeve.
"I-I'm sorry." Canada whispered, "I-"
"Nein, it's okay. It's good to cry."
Matthew shook his head. "It's not. I was stupid, I was careless, I was-"
"What did you do?"
Matthew paused, before whispering something incoherently.
"Come again?" Monika murmured, reaching for Canada's hand.
"I fell in love with someone who's already taken, I fell in love with someone who doesn't even glance in my direction, I-"
"Matthew. How do you know that they don't notice you?"
"Because I see him all the time, and I try to talk to him, and he doesn't even look me in the eyes."
"Who?"
Matthew wiped more tears from his eyes before responding. "I fell love with Gilbert. Your brother."
"Mein bruder. Gilbert. Ja, I guess he's okay, but he's such a pain in the-"
"I know." Matthew gently cut in, "I know how he is, but I love him."
"Ja." Monika pondered the situation, not sure how to respond. "Okay, ja."
Matthew sniffled and shrugged. "I don't know what to do."
"Ja, me neither. Um." Monika paused awkwardly, "Do you want me to talk to him about it?"
Matthew didn't respond.
"He might notice you if I mention you have an interest in him…"
Matthew nodded. "Uh, okay, you know, if it's not weird…"
Monika heard the front door open, and feet stomping down the hallway. No dainty Austria-steps. Prussia was by himself. Monika stood, held one hand up to Matthew to tell him to stay, and walked over to stop Gilbert before he retreated to the basement.
"Bruder." Monika said sharply, and Gilbert turned, tear-streaked eyes and all.
"Ja?" Gilbert asked, his voice choked up.
"Are you alright?" she asked her brother, her intentions disappearing at the pure sadness in her brother's eyes.
"Nein." Gilbert muttered.
"What's wrong?"
"I...Austria and I are no longer a going concern."
"What? You two were so happy, what-"
Gilbert's face flushed bright red, and he looked down at his feet. "I...uhm, when we were...I said 'Matthew' instead of...Roderich."
"Mein gott." Monika muttered, remembering what she had come over to say in the first place.
"What?" Prussia snapped, wiping his tears.
"Just...come with me."
Matthew's eyes went round as a crying Gilbert was led into the living room. Gilbert sat down next to Matthew, and Monika felt a small smile curve her lips as she noticed the awkwardness between them. Gilbert, ironically, was more awkward, obviously due to his accidental name-slip with Roderich. Matthew wiped some more tears out of his eyes.
"Why-why are you crying?" Matthew asked.
"Pure awesomeness such as myself doesn't cry." Gilbert defended himself weakly. "Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm in love." Matthew answered honestly, and Monika glanced at Gilbert to gauge his emotions on the matter. Gilbert slumped, looking extremely disappointed. Monika giggled, because she realized that Gilbert thought Matthew was in love with someone else.
"I'm in love too." Gilbert blurted out suddenly.
Matthew slumped too. Monika giggled again.
"Tell me, dear sister, what's with the laughing?"
"Oh, I know things that you two don't."
"Such as?"
"You're in love with each other." she said.
Gilbert perked up suddenly, his bright red eyes glittering mysteriously. "Are we?"
Matthew seemed to sink deeper into the couch, and nodded gently. "I think so."
"Well isn't this interesting." the Prussian said, reaching for Matthew's hand. Matthew flushed but squeezed the white-haired man's hand in response. Prussia laughed nervously, and Monika smiled.
"I think I've helped enough here." she said, standing up. Gilbert laughed, and Matthew's face got even redder, if possible. Monika smiled and went to take a shower.
"Don't get anyone pregnant." she said vaguely as she went into the bathroom.
When she emerged, she heard Prussia's hysterical laughter, and Matthew's quiet chuckles from the basement. She smiled to herself and went to her room to watch a movie - make-up free, hair-extension free, wearing her new pyjamas from Feliciano. She curled up under the duvet, and just as she hit play on the chick flick, she heard a knock on the front door. She stood, and cautiously looked through the peephole. Feliciano in his work uniform - the jacket unbuttoned, tie undone and dangling loosely around his neck, hair dishevelled and messy, panting heavily. She opened the door, smiling.
"Guten tag, Feliciano." she said. "I thought you had to work."
"Only for a couple hours, Monika, then I ran all the way here after I finished." Feliciano tried to catch his breath. Monika smiled.
"I was just going to watch a Jennifer Aniston movie." she blushed, realizing how dumb it sounded. Jennifer Aniston movies were so utterly stupid.
"Si? I love Jennifer Aniston! She's so pretty and funny and her smile is amazing! She's a really amazing lady!"
Monika smiled. Only a guy like Feliciano could love Jennifer Aniston movies. She let him inside, and they both made their way to the bedroom, where Monika pressed play on the movie. She crawled underneath the covers, but Feli just pouted and crossed his arms.
"Problem?" Monika asked, eyeing him in confusion.
"Si. I don't have any comfy clothes to wear, but we're supposed to be getting all comfy and watch a movie."
"Just wear your boxers." Monika said, trailing her eyes back to the screen.
"But you're a lady, and that's not right!"
"Ja, but I'm different. It's fine, I've seen you without clothes before."
At that, Feli shrugged and stripped his work uniform off. He was wearing…
"German flag boxers." Monika said, arching her (carefully plucked) eyebrow.
"Si! Because I wanted to have you near me all the time!"
"Near your crotch. All the time." Monika replied skeptically.
"Si, well, that too!" Feli said, cracking a grin to show that he was joking. Monika smiled.
"I love you."
They didn't end up watching much of the movie - thirty minutes, tops, because at one point Feliciano had leaned across the small gap between the two nations and kissed Monika gently, teasingly, and then pulled away and sat back to continue watching the movie. Monika's mouth tingled, and she pulled Feliciano onto her lap, resting her hands on his hips. She pulled his mouth to hers, and her mind had gone haywire. His mouth was warm and tasted like pasta and tomato sauce - his favourite foods - and everything she did right elicited a teeny-tiny moan from him. At one point during the kissing and laughing and whisperings of 'I love you', Monika grabbed onto the strange curl on the Italian's head, and Italy squealed, pulled away, and sat back in his spot. Monika flushed.
"I'm sorry, Feli, I didn't mean to upset you or anything, I-"
"No, no, Germany. You didn't do anything wrong." Feliciano cut into her ramblings, "It was just that, uhm, that curl does some things I really, really didn't want to get into right there. I mean, when we do...you know...I want it to be perfect."
Monika flushed again at the implication. She wasn't sure if she would ever be comfortable enough in her body to do...that with Feli. She sighed heavily and reached for his hand underneath the covers.
"Ich liebe dich." she whispered, and Feliciano grinned.
"I know."
"You know, do you?"
"Si. You tell me a lot now."
"I'm glad you know."
Feliciano yawned and closed his eyes. "I'm going to have a nap."
Monika stroked the Italian's hair. "Okay, liebe."
There was a long silence, and Monika thought that maybe Feliciano had fallen asleep.
"Germany?" Italy mumbled, "I hope you know I love you, too."
When Feli woke up, it was noon. Not late in the day, not yet, so Monika decided they should cook a big lunch of steak and potatoes. As she cooked, Monika drank from a bottle of beer, while Feliciano poured himself a glass of expensive French wine. They clinked - bottle-to-glass - and Feliciano whispered, "To us!" in an adorable little voice.
"I'll drink to that." Monika replied, and took a big sip of her beer, mashing up some potatoes in a pot. Feliciano sat on the counter, sipping his wine.
"Germany?"
"Hm?"
"Do you love me?"
"Are you crazy?" Monika asked, turning to face Feliciano.
"I'm just kidding." Feli laughed. There was a knock on the front door.
"I'll get it, pretty lady, you just stay right there!"
Germany smiled, dumping butter into the potato goop. She ran her hand through her hair, which she was growing out. She didn't wear it slicked-back like she used to, no, now it was clipped back with sparkly barrettes. Her hair just covered the tips of her ears. She heard someone yelling at the doorway, so she set down the knife she was using to mince garlic and walked out to see what was happening.
Lovino had Feliciano by the shirt collar, yelling at him angrily in Italian. Feli was stammering in response, but, of course, Monika could not understand.
"Everyone shut up!" she shouted, "What is the problem here?"
Lovino dropped Feliciano and turned to glare at her.
"This stupid bastard hasn't been home in days! I thought he was dead, but no, he's been spending all of his time at potato-bastard's house!"
"Excuse me?" Monika asked, "Do you really want to fight me? Italy is a grown man, and he can do what he wishes. Italy, do you want to go home with your brother right now? I'm not going to mad if you want to go."
"Germany!" he chirped, "We haven't finished lunch yet! I want to stay here to sleep, too!"
"Lovino, he's alive and making his own decisions," Monika replied calmly, "Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"Like hell!" Lovino said, stalking angrily to his car that was parked haphazardly in the driveway.
"Italians." Monika muttered, "Drive like madmen and park like drunk ones."
"Grazie, Germany!" Feliciano kissed her on the cheek. "Alright, let's finish up your potatoes!"
Gilbert and Matthew emerged from the basement just in time for steak and potatoes. They all ate happily, laughing and passing alcohol around the table. The only person who didn't drink was Matthew, who observed the loud nations quietly and occasionally reached for Gilbert's hand or asked for someone to pass something to him. Other than that, though, Matthew was his usual quiet self. Monika smiled softly at her friends as she ate, enjoying the peaceful conversation that seemed to flow freely throughout the table - it was mostly Feliciano and Gilbert who spoke loudly, Monika and Matthew quietly exchanging glances or observations throughout the meal. When everyone had finished eating, Matthew stood up.
"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom. Could you show me where it is, eh?"
Monika stood swiftly, scraping her chair backwards loudly. She grimaced at the noise, but smiled anyways.
"Of course. Right this way, Matthew."
As soon as they left the room, Monika started assaulting Matthew with questions.
"What's going on between you two? What happened in the basement? What do you think about him? Do you love him?"
Matthew held his hands up to slow the incessant stream of questions that erupted from Monika's mouth. "One at a time, eh? I don't really know if we're together or not, I mean, we never discussed it…" Matthew trailed off, blushing bright scarlet, "I think I love him. Is it too soon to say that? I mean, I've been in love with him for a long time, eh? Do you think he loves me? What do you think he wants from me?"
"Matthew, Gilbert is nothing if not honest. He can't seem to stop talking. If he wants something, he'll tell you. But I know mein bruder, and I think he loves you." she smiled encouragingly at the Canadian, and showed him down the hall where the bathroom was.
"Thanks. For everything."
"No problem, Matthew." Monika smiled, and returned to the dining room, where something incredibly strange was happening.
Prussia and Italy were both standing on the table, having knocked all of the food onto the floor, and they were singing loudly. Was that...a Disney song? Monika groaned audibly at Gilbert's scratchy voice, and covered her ears, glaring at the two red-faced men who were drunkenly beginning a two-man band.
"Bruder!" Monika shouted in a threatening tone, and Gilbert's scarlet eyes dropped to meet Monika's. He grinned and reached out his hand for Monika.
"C'mon, sis, we need a girl in our band! You're a good singer?"
Gilbert had a beer bottle loosely dangling from his long, pale fingers, and Monika smoothly pulled it out of his hand as he continued to dance, kicking a stray piece of meat onto the floor. Feliciano, on the other hand, had single-handedly chugged two bottles of wine. Feliciano was, admittedly, a bit of a lightweight, and Monika knew that Feliciano was completely and utterly wasted. She was surprised, because Feliciano was never the drunk one out of the two. It was always Monika who drank too much. She never really had to deal with drunk people. She snatched Feliciano up, carrying him bridal-style, and carried him to the guest bedroom, dropping him on the sheets.
"...German...y...wha's…" Feliciano murmured drunkenly, "D'you...hate...m'?"
"Nein, Feliciano, you're drunk. Ich liebe dich." she leaned in and kissed Feliciano's forehead.
"Okay." Feliciano sighed contentedly and closed his eyes. Monika rubbed her temples with her fingertips and ventured back into the dining room. Instead of seeing Prussia continuing the act as a one-man show, she saw Matthew taking him by the hand and leading him towards the basement. Gilbert was protesting loudly and blabbering in German, but Matthew was speaking to him calmly in French, which seemed to soothe him, for some reason. Monika smiled.
"Danke. For taking care of him for me." she said, and Matthew grinned.
"No problem, eh? Piece of cake. Dad - England, that is - gets drunk a lot. Papa France as well."
"Ja, I've heard the stories. Well, would you like to stay over the night? Movies or something?"
"Um, I probably should get going, Papa wanted me to come over...so…"
"Ja, that's okay. Some other time, then, Matthew."
Matthew nodded and helped Gilbert down the basement steps. Monika headed off to bed, exhausted for no reason in particular.
When she woke up in the morning, she couldn't bear to look in the mirror. For some reason, her reflection was killing her. Monika felt a sob rise up in her throat, and she buried herself in her bed, wrapped up like a burrito in her blankets. She stared blankly at the wall, thinking about how much she hated herself, how much she hated her body, how much she-
"Ciao, Germany, sleep well?" came a half hearted voice from the doorway.
"Ja." Monika responded, glancing over to see Feliciano covering his eyes with his hands.
"I'm not feeling so good - I vomited four times already this morning!"
"That's great, Italy."
"Are you alright, bella? You look really sad!"
"Ja." she responded, wiping a tear off of her cheek, "Ja, I'm fine."
Feliciano wandered off, presumably to make breakfast. Sometime within the next twenty minutes, Feli called out: "Ludwig! How do you like your eggs?"
Monika didn't respond, and Feliciano went dead silent. Then, a moment later:
"Dammit."
Monika still said nothing. She heard Feliciano come up the hallway, obviously upset, rambling apology after apology.
"I'm so sorry, Germany, I deserve to be hit by a train or something like that - I don't want to be hit by a train - but I called you Ludwig but that's not okay because Ludwig is a boy name and you're a very pretty lady named Monika and it's silly that I messed it up! Eh, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry Germany! I messed up, I'm so stupid, I'm the worst person ever! Wah!" Italy promptly burst into tears.
"Feli." Monika murmured. "I'm not upset about that. Everyone's bound to slip up sometimes."
"Then why are you upset?" Italy asked, sniffling.
"Verdammt!" came the moans from the basement, "Nie wieder. Never again. Ugh, my head."
"Ve! Well, Prussia's up. Why are you upset, Monika?"
"Because I'm not a real girl."
At that, Feli put his hands on his hips and glared straight at Monika. "Excuse you?"
"I'm not a real girl! I don't have girl parts, I have-" Monika cut herself off and stared between her legs, at the obvious bulge in her sweatpants.
"You're as much a girl as anyone!" Feli said, kissed her cheek, "Ti amo, bella, and you better believe it, because if you think for a second that you're not the pretty lady that you are inside, I'm going to get very mad at you, Germany! Understand?"
Monika nodded. "I love you."
Feliciano brought her breakfast in bed, even though she knew that Feli's hangover was maybe the worst he'd ever had. She admired his sacrifice - to suffer for her - and she pulled him into her bed and made him eat a little toast. He moaned and covered his eyes again.
"I'm craving that strange American thing...what's it called? McDonald's? McDonald's egg McMuffin, that's it! How disgusting." Feli shivered at the thought of American food. Monika smiled and kissed his cheek.
"Would you like me to see if Alfred can bring some over?"
"Si!" Feli said, kissing Monika's cheek. She blushed deeply and texted Alfred, who replied (and I quote):
ROCK ON DUDE I WILL TOTALLY BRING YOU MCDONALD'S YOU ARE CONVERTING TO THE FREEDOM COUNTRY THAT IS SO TOTALLY AWESOME!
To which Monika replied. Nein. Feli has a hangover. McDonald's is good hangover food.
Alfred didn't respond, and Monika texted him saying that he should also bring some for Gilbert. She got a smiley-face emoji in response, and she turned to face Feliciano.
"Do you want some Tylenol or something?" Monika asked worriedly. She hated seeing Feli in pain, even if it was the boisterous Italian's fault.
"Si, Germany, if you would…"
"Of course." Monika slid out of her bed to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, returning to her bedroom a minute later with a glass of water and two Tylenol. Feliciano, of course, had trouble swallowing the pills and ended up dumping a lot of water on the bed rather than in his mouth, but he eventually got them down. Alfred showed up a few minutes after that, not bothering to knock on the door. He burst into Monika's bedroom, holding a big McDonald's bag and a tray of McDonald's coffees.
"Coffee?" Feli perked up excitedly, then covered his eyes, "Ah, my head!"
Alfred handed a coffee and something from the bag to Feliciano, and he dug into the egg McMuffin greatfully.
"Gilbert's downstairs." Monika said, "Here, come with me."
Monika hadn't been into Gilbert's bedroom in months. Well, it wasn't a bedroom so much as its own apartment in the basement, complete with its own kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedroom, and laundry room. Gilbert only ever used the bathroom, bedroom, and occasionally the living room to watch movies and play video games. From the amount of dirty clothes strewn around the basement, Monika could tell that Gilbert barely ever used the laundry room, and Gil always came upstairs to eat with her. She couldn't help but feel disgusted by the mess. She found Prussia slumped in his bed, moaning about a headache.
"Gilbert, we have company."
Gilbert sat up and looked over with bleary eyes. "Mattie!" he shouted.
"Nein, Gilbert. Alfred."
Prussia looked disappointed and buried his face back in the blankets. "Then I don't care."
"He brought food." Monika prodded.
Gilbert sat up again. "Alfred, it's great to see you!"
Monika and Alfred went back upstairs, sitting at the dining room table with their coffees. Monika politely declined the food from America, explaining that Italy had already made breakfast for her.
"So...Gilbert and Mattie, huh?"
"Wha-, oh right. Ja." Monika said, glancing up at Alfred under her eyelashes. "I think they make a really cute couple."
"I'm glad Mattie's happy, but your brother's sort of a douchebag sometimes, y'know?"
Monika couldn't agree more, but Alfred didn't have the right to say that. "You're the douchebag, Alfred. Half of the time, you forget that Matthew even exists!"
"Right, like you didn't use him to get what you wanted!" Alfred shouted, "You're an asshole, you know that? A complete asshole! And for the record, the only reason I pretended to act all supportive was as a favour to my brother. You're just a big, burly faggot, and you're never going to be a woman! Ludwig!"
Monika felt tears in her eyes the remark, and it wasn't long before she was full on crying. Feliciano came running into the room, yelling angrily and jumping onto Alfred, screaming and hitting and kicking. It wasn't something Monika expected of the constantly-surrendering Italian. Gilbert came stomping up the stairs, walked up to Alfred, grabbed the back of his jacket, and slammed his back up against a wall.
"Don't talk to my sister that way, you son of a bitch!" he growled angrily, "Get the hell out of my house right now, or we're going to have a lot more problems!"
Alfred sneered at Gilbert, which resulted in a knee to the groin, a punch in the nose - which sprayed blood everywhere - and a swiftly pulled knife to the throat. Alfred hadn't even had the opportunity to throw one punch. Gilbert's face was an inch from Alfred's.
"Get the hell out of here, and never come back."
Monika sobbed hysterically in her brother's arms that day. Feliciano tried to comfort her, but he sensed that it was more a sibling moment than anything and kept his distance. Gilbert patted Monika's back softly.
"He didn't mean it, sis, he's just a giant douche." Gilbert whispered to his sister, and she chuckled softly, wiping her eyes.
"Danke." she smiled at her older brother, but her eyes were pained.
Feliciano stepped cautiously into the room, a tentative smile on his face. "Monika, bella, uh, my fratello came over to visit!"
Gilbert straightened up on the couch, his eyes flashing angrily. "Is that supposed to make him - I mean, her - feel better? That guy is nothing but rude to her?"
"Lovino promised to be nice." Feli sung happily, "And he brought presents."
The presents turned out to be some nail polish. Some really colourful, bright nail polish colours.
"Danke, Lovino." Monika said, sniffling, "What brought this on?"
"Well, my stupido brother said you were sad, and I didn't want a pretty lady to be sad." Lovi said, blushing lightly.
Monika felt a small smile creep onto her lips, and she thanked Lovino. "You're not half bad, Romano."
He offered something akin to a smile, and sighed heavily. "Can I go now, fratello?"
"Si!" Feli chirped, "Grazie, fratello!"
"You made him come here." Monika said, her face falling.
"No! He was walking by and I told him to get you a present 'cause you're sad and he brought nail polish and everything he said was from his own brain!"
"Ja, okay." Monika replied skeptically, but she smiled anyways. "Ich liebe dich."