Disclaimer: no, I don't own twilight and yes I hate Edward...
All hail Jacob! Team Jacob all the way...
This chapter is dedicated to jacobfan216, connect2tjb, zdra8351, jul5857, goldengirl62, vannesafanforeva and my loveable n hugeable beta Blessedly Twilighted.
Okay! Hi folks! It's me jo again.. I got a good news and a bad news.. good news it's that things are going get more tense after this chapter. N then bad news is that the story is going to finish go n vote if u want a sequal…
Beta's/Note: Yes I am irritated with Bella. She just can't seem to make up her mind on anything. The pain in her heart she feels isn't for Edward but she won't allow herself to see it.
Bella's pov
Thud, thud, thud. I heard footsteps coming nearer and nearer to my room but I didn't bother to look up. I waited, after a short while I heard a knock on my door. It was soft but still I could hear it. I remained silent. Then I heard it again but much louder.
"Bella open the door!" Charlie yelled pounding on the door.
I stayed lying on my bed though I knew that I should respond to him I just didn't have the energy to do so. He continued knocking on the door but this time he was pounding so loud on it the door was shaking.
"Isabella Marie Swan! You open this door right this instant or I'm coming in!" Charlie threatened.
As much as I wanted to ignore him, I just couldn't so I reluctantly unlocked the door. It's been days since I left my room; I haven't eaten, bathed, or talked to anyone. It was as if I created a barrier between myself and the world. By blocking everyone out I felt I could protect my child and myself. Protect myself from what I wondered repeatedly. Maybe I was protecting myself from myself. I don't honestly know but for these past few days I cried myself to sleep. I wept silently in hopes of no one hearing my inner turmoil. All of the things that had happened these past few months wore on me till I reached the point I was now at. I was the same as I was when Edward left me, but now do to my own actions I didn't have Jacob to put me back together. I finally pushed away the one person who truly loved me and protected me even when all I needed protection from was myself.
The pain wasn't going to go away. I lost both of them that day; one left me and the other I left. I lost myself that day as well. I felt now as if I was all alone. All the strings that held me and bound me together were destroyed that fateful day. Through that travesty I lost the Cullens as well as the pack. They were like my family different yet alike. The care, the love, the comfort, and the security that I felt were the same when I was with them. I miss it. I miss it a lot. If only Jacob hadn't destroyed everything!
I snapped out of my thoughts when Charlie shouted my name.
"Bella!"
"Um, uh sorry, I was just thinking." I said with my façade of a smile on my face.
I waited for his respond but I heard nothing so I took a minimal amount of effort to look at him in the face. There he stood in his uniform. I could see places where grey hair was starting to sprout, and wrinkles developing on his face as well as his warm brown eyes. I felt as if I hadn't seen him for a long time now. When I was still with Jake I would be at Emily's place most of the time so we didn't really get to see each other. It was easy for me; it was not that I intentionally avoided Charlie though I must admit I didn't want him to know I was pregnant yet. Sue never fails to remind me to let him know at every prenatal appointment. I have yet to gain the courage to tell him. I'm still a child myself so I worry about what he would think. I'm not proud of my mistakes but I love my child. I fear that Charlie will no longer love me if he knew. I guess I just can't take the rejection from him too. Will he despise me or hate my child?
How will he accept the fact that it's Jacob's child? Will he too judge me?
A phrase from the last time I seen Leah flashes through my mind.
"Really? I didn't know that best friends have sex with each other!"
I didn't want to go through any of it alone; I was not ready for it. That was the reason why I started wearing Jake's shirts more often when I was in the same roof as Charlie. Just hoping that he wouldn't notice the bump. How was I going to explain to him that my pregnancy would last 15 months? Charlie certainly doesn't live in the supernatural world and would think me insane. As it was now I am 8 months pregnant. I still had a world of time. 7 months. I could still wait another 5 or 6 more months to tell him. I still had time!
"Thinking? You satisfied now that you have been locked up thinking alone in your room for days now?" Charlie questioned carefully with his cop face placed squarely on.
He waited for some type of response but when he failed to get one he continued "Bella what happened to you? You came running home with tears in your eyes that day and until now you haven't spoken a single word? Would you care to explain what is actually going on with you?" Charlie asked worriedly.
As much I want to throw myself at him and cry my heart out telling him of my pain I just couldn't.
"Are you planning on talking anytime soon?" Charlie asked irritably.
I stayed silent trying to think of a solution for this mess and I did finally. "You should be getting to work you're going to be late!"
"Bella stop! Ok just stop pushing me away! Your mom took you away from me 16 years ago. I don't plan on losing my daughter again. Either you or I'll talk!"
"Fine, if you want it this way!" Charlie shouted.
"Bella what happened? Just say something? Anything will do. Tell me are you hurt? Are you sick? Is it Jacob? Or is ithim?" Charlie asked at shot gun speed.
After sighing he started in again,"Bella, Even though you weren't quite comfortable at home with me when you first moved in I was happy because I knew YOU were happy. You were living a normal happy life. Enjoying staying here. It made me appreciate having you here more and more." Charlie ended taking one of my hands in his.
"Now you are back to how you were before Jacob!"
I didn't let him finish it. I just didn't want to hear his name again.
"Dad stop it. Stop it please! Don't say his name!" I shouted squeezing my eyes tightly together.
I wished that when I opened them everything that happened would reverse and it would turn out to all be a nightmare. I couldn't hold back the pain, every time I heard his name. My body was filled with the agony of being away from him and yet when I think back, I'm glad to be away from him because I couldn't bear the pain of being near the person who destroyed my happiness.
"Jacob? Why? What did he do? Did he hurt you?" Charlie's voice became deadly serious at the end.
I stayed silent.
"Bella tell me, don't make me go to Billy's to find out what happened and you know I won't hesitate on doing it!" Charlie said stressing every word.
"Dad I left him. I left him that day" I choked on my words as though there was something foul in my mouth.
"You what? Why on earth would you do that Bella?" Charlie was shocked but he quickly recovered and became worried when I didn't answer him.
"Bella did he hurt you?" Charlie asked softly.
How am I going to tell him that I left Jacob because he hurt Edward who accidently hurt my baby and me without him feeling that Jacob was justified? He would immediately side with Jacob, and I would have no one on my side.
"No dad nothing like that." I lied quickly.
"Then why?" Charlie asked persistently.
I closed my eyes again. Lies kept on stacking up on top of lies. I hated lying and now I was living a lie weather I wanted to admit it or not didn't matter. This is all because of him.If only he didn't love me! If only Edward hadn't left. If Edward hadn't left, I wouldn't have grown close to Jacob. Why? Why? Why did I let myself become weak? Why am I so weak that when I'm with Jacob it's as if we are soul mates? 'Edward is my soul mate not Jake.' I insisted to myself.
He's, he's my best friend, my personal sun not my lover. I realize that I feel safe around him, I feel as if I'm at home, a place where I truly belong. But do I really belong with or to Jake?
The times I spent with Jake months ago started coming into my mind flashes of them. I seemed to be at peace in his arms, I noticed him smiling brightly when we first saw an ultrasound and then I can see Emily and I cooking together for the pack. I look so happy, enjoying those times together. And then the images for that day came, the fight between me and Jake then to the Cullens empty house. Tears started slipping down my eyes when I realized that they were truly gone again. "He confronted Edward and they had had a big argument and then Cullens left." I whispered in agony.
Charlie took me in his arms when I started crying.
"They're gone?Again?" Charlie softly yet I could feel the shock in his voice.
"Oh bells I don't know what to say." Charlie admitted but that didn't seem to help me. I started crying even more when I realized that I may not see them again.
"Bells calm down. God I can't stand seeing you like this. You know what everything is going to fine. Just you wait and see. Everything is just going to be just fine." Charlie said soothingly as I clutched to him for dear life not too close though because I didn't want him to feel my baby bump.
"Just you wait till I get a hold of Jake! He's going to pay for upsetting you!"
I broke out of his embrace quickly when I heard that. . he shouldn't go there. What if Jacob tells him that Edward hurt the baby? What if the pack blamed the Cullens and let Charlie misjudge them? No. I couldn't allow that.
"Dad! No! No don't please?" I begged.
I was silently hoping he would change his mind.
"Why? Why not Bella? Are keeping secrets from me? You do know you can tell your old man anything right?" Charlie asked taken aback.
Should I tell him the truth? Am I ready to face this alone? As soon as I tell him, I'm sure Renee will know and how am I going tell them both that my child might be a shape-shifter? Renee would freak out!
"No dad no secrets. I know that it's just I want to handle this on my own." I lied.
Since when had become easier than the truth? Though I wished with all my heart that I could tell Charlie about everything. I don't like lying to him every day.
Charlie was about to something but then he didn't. he kept quiet, it looked like he was thinking and then he said gently but seriously."Bella I will let you handle this, but if I see one more tear from those pretty doe eyes I swear to you I will handle it no matter what you say! I am still your father. Do you understand me?"
Thank god that he was giving me the chance to handle this one my own.
"Yes I understand. Thanks dad." I said calmly hugging him.
"Any time Bells now I gotta go to work but I'll be back early today and then we can go out and grab something to eat. What do you say?" Charlie suggested cheerily.
What if someone noticed my bump? God that's going to be embarrassing! What if I bumped into Angela, or Mike Newton, or even Jessica Stanley?
Before I could voice my objections Charlie spoke."You know what, just get dressed we are going out. I want us to go out have father-daughter time since I just got you back ok?" Charlie said happily.
Father-daughter time? This doesn't seem like the best idea at the moment. What excuse could I possibly tell him? Nothing, absolutely nothing so I smile in reply.
"Good to have you back, kiddo." Charlie said hugging me.
A month from the day Charlie confronted Bella (Bella is almost 9 months pregnant)
Since Charlie's speech my relationship became better with him than it ever was. For the first time in my life, I actually got to know Charlie better. I didn't expect that spending time with Charlie would actually help me to get through the pain, but it did. Not that I managed to forget it, no it's just I was able to get my mind out of that misery. I am glad that I have Charlie to count on.
Days passed and up until now even with the help of Charlie I still have that horrible pain in my chest. Not a single day went by that I didn't have it. I still cling to the hope that someday the Cullens will return. Someday I will get to talk to Alice again. Someday I get to watch Emmett and Rosalie having small fights over Emmett's childishness again. Heck even someday having Esme and Carlisle give me parental advice. I hope beyond hope that Edward will come back and accept me and kiss my worries and pain away.
I caught Charlie watching the game alone at home the other day, not that it was something abnormal. It's just that usually he would be out at Billy's place to watch games at, or Billy would come over here to watch them. Since Harry's death, it had just been the two of them. They were so close. I wonder why they stopped seeing, and rarely calling each other. I have a feeling that it is because of me. After the day I left it's like both Charlie and Billy have been silent, not a single call or visit. But I didn't get involved in between them because I already had enough problems of my own. But that didn't stop me from going on with my life, with Charlie always giving me a hand I managed the hole of their absence from my life with much more less trouble. Charlie still worried about me because I haven't been getting much sleep lately nor do I eat healthy anymore.
Ouch. I winced in pain when something ran into me which brought me back to reality.
"Sorry." a small little boy said then sprinted towards his mom who has picking out a bottle of jam.
I just sighed and ignored the pain and dizziness as I went to the counter to pay for my purchases. I hope to get on with this and just head back home to get a nap in before Charlie gets back. I don't want him to over-react over my drowsiness. I'll just meet with Sue tomorrow I mentally thought to myself and carried on paying for the food. I took out my purse and tried to get the amount of money needed but my vision was blurry. I couldn't see the amount I was holding in my hand but I just handed it to the cashier hoping that what I gave was enough.
"Miss this isn't enough." I heard her calling out.
But before I could even try to respond to her I sunk into darkness.