Disclaimer : I don't own twilight
this chapter is dedicated to Mzhellokitty,prettypink,anny,bmthespian,jul5857 and also to crazeebeautiful who pm-ed me. I promise I will finish this story, but I can't promise how soon though. ;( sorry
Btw I have edited all the chapters, if you re-read the chapters now, you will notice some big changes that I have added, for example chapter 7. But there are more chapters that I have edited. Do read them .
After Charlie was discharged from the hospital.(Bella 10 months )
Charlie's POV (btw check out profile for this story's banner)
"Yes. Yes.. aha.. yes. ehem. Yup. Absolutely. Aha. Yes. Oh,God,Renee! I'm fine. No, no need for you to come here right away. Bella and I got it all I could manage myself, I mean it's not that bad. Everything is back to normal except for my left arm. The doctor said it's going take longer time to recover." I told Renee the same thing that I have been repeating to almost everyone who has called me in the past week.
If I had known that I would have to be constantly on the phone or entertaining guests who came to visit, I would have liked to stay at the hospital much longer. I mean, I am happy that there are people who care about me and the fruit baskets are wonderful.
Everything was great at first, but now it's almost the end of the week and it feels more of a routine than comfort. But hey, who am I kidding? No matter what,I wouldn't have stayed at the hospital more than I needed anyway.
I couldn't just set aside Sue's betrayal.I can't believe that Renee thinks I'm exaggerating the situation. How would you feel if someone you dearly trusted kept a secret that concerns you from you for months? Months? But then she feels that way because she doesn't know the whole story.
Well you know, I might have forgotten to mention Bella's pregnancy to her. But hey, I'm an old man. I tend to forget stuff or… I don't want to handle Renee's reaction just yet.
For months, have I been blinded by everything. For months, haveI been not aware of my friendship with Billy crumbling to pieces. For months, have I been eating lies my ...friend fed. For months have I lost my daughter... Bella. She's different. And I realized that just last week.
Like the time when I tried to bring up Jake. She totally shut me down. And by chance I managed to bring up that topic today.
" Thank god! You didn't tell Renee, right away in the hospital" I said to Bella who was busy peeling oranges by the side of my bed. "I should have just told her. " she chuckled but still managed to tease me .
"God, no. you know your mom, she tends to exaggerate the situation more than it already is." Charlie said
"Yeah. Remember the time, I fell down the stairs ?" she asked me about the time when she first moved with me.
" Oh who could forget that. She had me sit down and listen to her talk for more than an hour" I complained.
Lesson learned from that 1 hour and 45 minutes talk : Never tell Renee that you are in the hospital. You may tell her after you got discharged from the hospital but never when you are still in the hospital unless you plan on listening to her safety precaution talk. Where by the end of the talk, she will proof to you the need to wear a helmet at all times, and yes, even when you in the car .
She chuckled and then continued on " Yeah I remember that but still I think we should've told her sooner. You know Renee doesn't like people keeping secrets from her"
"Ah ha.. Speaking of secrets. When are you planning on telling her?" I asked her, catching her off-guard.
I saw her realizeit, because she took a moment longer to peel the orange. " I already told her that they left"
" Well that's one, what about the other one?" nah, she's not getting away that easy.
"What do you mean?" I could sense the nervousness in her tone.
" Bella enough. Just stop with the whole act. When were you planning on telling me?. No wait, let me rephrase that. Did you even have an idea on telling me? Or did you think you are an adult now since you got yourself pregnant and could get away with it?" I didn't realize I was yelling until I stopped.
She was quiet and she looked scared. Just like how, she was when she was 10. The time when, I caught her red-handed trying to peek at her Christmas present before Renee was up .
"How.. did. you? " she stuttered. " I have my source but I didn't expect to hear this that way though. Seriously Bella, what were you thinking ? I'm sorry." I paused. " were you even thinking?"
"Dad, let me explain." She started but I didn't give in. Not this time. Not for me or her but for Jacob's sakeat least.
"no! enough is enough Bella. I'm sick and tired of hearing excuses after excuses. I want answers. Honest answers. Could you do me that?" it came out way harsher than I meant it to be. Maybe, just maybe because I let out my anger and frustration that I've been through on this matter with other people as well on her. Jacob, Billy ,Sue and Bella...
She flinched , indeed she is shocked. A father's heart could only take that much, I tried reach her but I realized it was a misfire when she took a step back.
"Bella.." I called her, I felt bad. "Bella. I'm so.."
"No. You're right, Dad. I haven't been honest with you before. And you are right ! I'm stupid. Like who the hell on earth gets into these much problems! "
"Bella.. bells.." I started again but she didn't even give the chance to finish .
"I don't even know where to start, dad!" she was on top of her lungs by now. As much I as I would like compete with her in this so called who-has-a higher-voice contest even though it's childish, I can't. And she can't as well.
"Bella, calm down. You are pregnant. You should be thi..." again I was cut.
"Exactly, I am pregnant dad. I slept with someone who I thought was my best friend for the past 18 years but he turned out to be one who that destroyed my life . And boyfriend.. oh wait should I say my ex-boyfriend and his family left for only god knows when they'll be back. Finally here I am with my dad lecturing me about my all my life mistakes. Go ahead dad, just continue on whatever you were going lecture me cause it's not like I could do anything else or go somewhere without being judge as long I have this " she said pointing at her growing stomach, I can see anger in her eyes but at the same time I know that if I push her any further she would be crying. And so I did what any father would do.
"aw..Bells, I'm sorry. I'm sorry couldn't be there to protect you." I whispered to her as I enveloped her into a hug.
I was half expecting her to push me away, like she always does. Bella is a girl that doesn't like showing people that she is weak, that's why she get's into most of the trouble. But this time, she didn't even budge, in fact she buried face into the front my jacket. And then, it started. The salt water dam was broken, I could hear her cry.
I don't know how we are in this position. Was it her fault for being careless and reckless or was it mine for not being there when she needed me?
Oh Renee, I let our daughter down. I should've been there but I wasn't. It's all my fault. How am I going to tell you that our daughter is pregnant? how am I going to face Billy after all that had happened? How am I going to forgive Sue? How am suppose to comfort Bella?
It's my fault. I'll take the blame." Shh.. Bella. It's ok. Everything is going to alright. We are going to go through this... together." I said rubbing her back soothingly.
"No, it's not alright. It's never going to be. I'm scared it won't"I heard her voice, it was almost a whisper but I heard it. She needed reassurance. I know she needed it.
" It will Bells. It always will. Now stop with the whole crying, have mercy on me bells. An old man could only handle much for a time. Besides this is supposed to be Renee's job." I said referring to the whole stuffed nose and swollen eyes.
She chuckled. Finally a change of mood, "yeah, you were never the one who handles me when I cried."
"I have a valid reason for that."
"you sure do, dad" she chuckling again.
"But still I'm sacred." She said, wiping her nose.
"why?"I asked her.
" because of Mom. I'm scared that she will be.." she said in her scared-little girl voice
"hmm.. don't worry. I'll cover up that part for you. Wait..wait.. I haven't finished yet." I said before she gets all excited and all.
"okay.." she said in a way asking me to proceed, "Only if you, make up with Jacob."
I know I was pushing my luck but I had to. For my unborn grandchild's sake at least. "Dad! No! How could you? After all that I told you, how could you?" she was practically shouting in rage.
"Bella, you didn't tell me anything. All I heard was that he took away your life ." I said calmly. Hoping she would calm down.
"What else do you need to know, dad?" she asked .
"How... How did the Jacob I knew became the person you said?" I asked after mustering up the courage.
"Really dad ? Really? You don't believe your own daughter !"she said raising her voice
" Bella, you and I have known the kid ever since he was born. It would more than just a few words to make me change my mind of that kid. Especially after knowing that he is father of my grandchild."
"Dad! Drop it ! I don't even want to hear his name. We slept only once and it was a mistake. I could never love him not after what he has done to me."she was still shouting.
"Shut up!" I said.
"dad..?" her voice croaked.
"I said shut up! You may not know how much that boy loves you but I do. Eversince he was a kid, he had eyes only for you. "Bella come look at this" "Bella did you see what I justdid?" "Bella, don't cry. I'm here". Bella this! Bella that! Every single time he opens his mouth, it's your name he chants. I bet he says your name more than he says hello. "I was in full speed mode.
"dad, I don't see your point, I mean.." she started .
"You don't see my point? You don't see my point? Bella! Did you forget with who spend almost half of your life with ? or Are you pretending that you don't have feelings for him . What exactly are you blinded... ?"I was cut.
"dad. Please.."
"Is it that Edward kid? Did he brainwash you or something? No wait.. Is he threatening you to stay with him? Cause you know I could.."
"DAD! Stop okay. Just stop it!" she shouted and continued.
" It's you who needs to check. I'm your daughter! It's me who you are supposed to believe and support. Not him okay! He has everyone back in La Push on his side. But me! I don't have anyone. Alice left. Edward left. everyone of them left. Jake isn't the person I thought he was. So that leaves just you and Renee doesn't even know anything about this." Pointing at belly.
"and if you too.. left me. Who am I suppose to turn to? Tell me dad. who" she asked.
"Bella, I'm not taking sides. Really I'm not. I just can't accept the fact that neither you or Jacob would be in mess. You don't.." he sighed but still continued "hmm..you don't understand, how your actions have effects on others. Especially the ones you love, I know. You didn't mean to hurt any of them but Bella. A lot of people became victims in this mess. Believe me, when I say this. Ties have been cut off. Hearts have been broken. Pain has grown among us." I could feel my body aching as I said that.
" Dad.. what do you mean? "how am I supposed to tell her everything that Billy had told me?
"Nothing. Just try to make up with Jacob. As soon as possible." I said trying to cover up.
"No dad. What is it? I know you are hiding something from me. " but she insists.
"it's nothing." I stressed.
"no. its not" she demanded.
"I said it is, Bella drop it."
"no dad! If it is because of me. I deserve to know. Just as how you deserved to know about my pregnancy. I made a mistake, I know you wont do the same as well"
"Well. The other day before the accident, I went to Billy's. We had a talk about both of you. "
"And what did Billy say? Does he know about me?"
" No. Jacob kept it a secret from him. And I believe he did it for the best" I heard her gasped
"why? What did Billy say?"
"Lets just say, he wasn't really thrilled about the news"
" He hated me, didn't he?" she asked. She was always a smart kid. Figuring things sooner than anyone else except.. for her personal life.
"he doesn't approve your relationship with Jacob."
" What about the baby? does he..?" she asked me.
how could I forget. "I would rather let it grow up without ever knowing it's father then to be a fatherless child"
Idecided not to let her know about that instead I said "He wants you to stay away from him."
"good." I turned to look at her
"what?"I asked her, confused.
"good. Good riddance. I don't want see him either."
"Bella.. Bella. Why? Why do you make things even more complicated!"
"Don't you want to raise your baby with Jake?" she kept quiet, far too long. Then it clicked in my mind.
"You don't, do you? You don't have any intention on having a family with Jake do you?"
"Bella.. Bella!" I shouted at her, wanting to know
"No. no dad. When I actually agreed to continue on this pregnancy .. I wasn't planning on having Jacob involved at all. But he and the rest of them insisted that they are responsible for me and my baby. And so I agreed.."
"You are telling me that . All these months you just used him like a parasite. You tricked him into believing that you loved him. Bella? Is that really you? Is that how Renee and I raised you?"
"Dad, no. I did. At one point of my life did love him. I thought he could replace Edward when he left. And the past months, as much as I hate to admit it,I couldn't. I can't deny the fact that I had feelings for him. I somehow grew to love him. Maybe even more than I loved Edward.."
"But not anymore, not after he hurted me on purpose. He knew the Cullens meant my life. But still he chased them away."
" Is that why you left him?"
"No. there's more to it.. but.."
"tell me.. If you think I am your father ."
" Back then in La push, when I was with them. I felt as if I was being controlled. I didn't have enough freedom and nobody understood me."
"Running away isn't always the best solution. You know that very well, Bella "I reminded her of Renee's actionc.
"it was the only option I had" she stressed it. Stubborn as always.
"No Bella, at times you need to open your mind and heart to learn. To compromise with people for the sake of everyone. When you love someone so dearly, the rest doesn't matter. You will be willing sacrifice anything for them." I said reminiscing back about Renee. I let her out of our marriage vow not because I wanted to but because she desired it.
"I did, dad. I did it for Edward. He almost killed Edward. I couldn't live with someone who would harm my loved ones."
He was lost,
for her,
he risked everything,
for her
He killed him,
for her,
she killed him,
for herself.
" I swear Bella, you'll be the death of him. He is one of the strongest person I knew but god. You tore him to pieces" I shouted at her in anger that I couldn't manage to control. How could she be blinded ? What has she done. Oh Bella. Poor Bella.
"Dad!"
"Don't you call me that!" I tried to control the tone of my voice.
" I don't even know you, Bella. I can't believe that you could be so blinded by that Edward of yours. "
"Dad.." she started again.
"No. You listen to me. I'm going to say this once, and after that it's your choice. Do what ever you want, cause to be honest I'm tired. I'm tired of all the drama and basically just everything."
"You know, you don't have to get involved in this." She said wrapping her arms around her waist.
"I know. But I want to. Because I care for you. I'm your father, I've been through a lot with you, just because you want me out of your life, doesn't mean I have to let you go. You can't get rid off me that easily." I said slowly . And continued with the remaining strength I have.
"That's what Jake has been doing all these while. The more you push, the more he pulls. The more he loves you, the more you hurt him. The more you get what you want, the more he looses. Please Bella, I beg you. Don't bring him down, I don't know how much more could he take." And I continued
"you said you don't have anyone but youself. But for you, he would leave everyone. Just for you"
"He was there from the start. He was there when Edward wasn't. He was still there, even when you left. He came back for you. He always does. Just like the sun. No matter what happens, the sun will always shine again. It will always be there, to look after everyone. It never lets us down, it will everything with it's might to provide a happy life. It is warm and when you look at it no matter how many times you have seen it, it will always make us smile. And anywhere you are the sun never fails to makes us feel welcome and grateful to have it." I took a deep breath and continued
"But.. the moon on the other hand, I agree it is beautiful. No one could compete to it but don't you think...It is far from our reach? The moon never stays, it follows us whenever we go. but never stays, we couldn't actually count on the moon to appear in the sky everyday. And that is not say, we should blame the dark clouds that covers the moon during a certain time. Not at all, cause it is the moon's nature to disappear certain times of a month. We shouldn't blame it, we should be wise enough to know and accept nature as it is."
"we should know, what is good for us."I ended my speech.
"But why must I always be the one, who must give in. Why must it be me, who needs to sacrifice." I realized that there was more than just her relationship Jacob and Edward she was referring to.
" what?" it came out as a whisper.
"When Renee and you got divorced. I didn't ask for that. I wanted both of my parents. But I didn't get that. Neither did I get to stay with Renee until I graduated. NO, I had to sacrifice my relationship withy mom for her happiness. No dad, no. I want to be selfish. For once in my life, I want to have what I want. And I want Edward. Not Jacob. I want to be better, I want to have the feeling of being perfect for once. And I get that feeling when I'm with him. Not Jacob. I want to feel that I am more than just a clumsy girl or the girl who gets into trouble. When I'm with Edward. Everything is different, I feel perfect .But when I'm with Jacob. I am.." she was struggling to find the right words.
"Bella.." but I completed it for her
"dad." She was confused.
"When you are… with Jacob. You are Bella. Just plain clumsy, stubborn and not to mention a terrible liar. Is that bad, Bella? Being who you are? Being who everyone loves you? I want my daughter and I'm sure Jake wants his best friend. And when I said you are a terrible liar, I meant the part where you said you don't love Jacob anymore. You do, still do. You always do. Just like how he does. He doesn't stop loving you, neither can you. No matter how much you hate it. You feel yourself drawn to him. Don't you? Don't resist it Bella. Don't walk in my footsteps, don't do the same mistakes I did. You know very well it will lead."
"I'm not like you. Edward loves me! and that's what matters." She shouted.
"Jacob loves you too. If he didn't he wouldn't have planned to run away when you left with Alice. He wouldn't have saved up everyone penny and god knows how many part time job, he took to get you that bike. Although I see no point of him buying you that but that's not the point. Like I said he wouldn't have stayed with you at the hospital all the time. And.. by judging what Billy said..."
"No, don't! You don't understand my pain.. cause u never had to force him to eat. u never saw him locked up in his room all day and having struggle to get out of bed? you didn't see the way he looked like a walking corpse for god's sake when she left! do you know, how helpless I was? he hardly ever spoke and when he did it was about that girl nothing else. he blamed himself for her departure and for all her problems. I couldn't help him even though he was right in front of me. I thought I was going to lose him Charlie! my son.. my only son. you don't have the slights idea how that feels. you don't have a clue how much he loves her. how much he is willing to sacrifice for her. how much she means to him. he puts her before himself ... "
"how he struggled to even get out of bed, eat, or even breathe..I bet he went through hell during these few months. because of you. And don't you dare say that you are alone cause really, you are not. It's him that is alone. No one to understand his feelings, If you!" I said pointing at her, and continued " The girl of his dreams couldn't understand. The who the hell could? And so Bella, if you insist in being stubborn. Then. So. Be. It. I give up."
I was on my way on to the door, butI still managed to spare a few minutes while holding the door knob hoping she would change her I waited
...
...
...
But nothing, she just kept standing there by the window. Stubborn Bella. Stubborn Renne. Like mother,like daughter. It's happening again,all over. It's over.
"Bella.. I shouldn't be saying this. But.. I can't help myself."
"To be honest , you don't deserve him." With that I left the house.
A figure could be seen coming out in a hurry, from the Swan's residence.A hooded, teenage girl hoped in the rabbit and left in a rush.
Little did Bella Swan know, when she left her house crying. Her father was waiting actually in the cruise which was brilliantly camouflaged behind the bushes. He knew his daughter well, he knew she would go back to him. And his fatherly instinct was right.
He started the engine and drove to work happily, despite all the arguments that he had with his daughter. Because he knows that his daughter is going to La Push.