If you had read twilight saga wiki, errmm they did mention that whenever Jacob raised his voice against quill. Claire would get angry. So yeah the imprintee, could feel the connection and also about the imprintation they way i adapted it in my story. people have said that it's not really possible but i think it is. If Bella did open her heart for Jake, I'm very sure. Jake would have imprinted on Bella, because if you noticed based on Jared's imprintation. Jared imprinted on Kim (whom had a huge crush on him), he didn't pay any attention to her but he didn't imprint on her because Jared wasn't in love with anyone. His heart was free from any sort of feelings so, it clicked for them. And if Bella did for maybe even a second , she looked at Jake with possibilities then, he may have imprinted on need the so called "clarity moment" i think. Lol. So yeah, tough luck. You guys should check out the twilight saga wiki, i mean i learnt allot from that site. And btw to the people who said it didn't;t seem logic that Emmett and Jake get along, well if you read eclipse Jake did save Emmett from the newborns so yeah , i mean that could've been a new beginning to their friendship.
Bella pov
The vehicle jumped and swerved. "Damn it, get a grip," I cursed under my breath, dodging another bumper on the road.
It had been a tedious, painful drive. As hard as I had been praying for the contrary, it proved futile. The universe takes any and all opportunities to screw with me. I don't want to go to La Push, but I have to: I desperately need to know, but dread every second I come closer to the beach. I feel like I'm wishing for the rainbow without the rain.
The last trip I took was for Edward. I raced against time and his grief for a chance at love. Now, I do it again. But this time it's not for Edward and I face this alone. No sparkling Alice, no companion. Just Bella.
And it's not Edward I rush for, it's Jacob. I'm not going there to save him. I'm not going there on behalf of my father, nor do I go there with Jacob himself. I go for answers, and answers only. To unfold secrets that have been kept from me. And I can't avoid it, no matter how confused and frightened it makes me.
The feeling that I can't trust anyone, that I'm alone... I feel hollow, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles and a parched throat.
Edward lied to me, and the fact burns. How is that even possible? He had no reason, no right. Jacob had no motivation, either. My head hurt and my heart ached, betrayed at every angle.
The surroundings of the car gradually began to morph. The trees blurred and shimmered as I wrestled with my thoughts. The forests of La Push were unnerving: there were too many memories in these trees. My heavy foot tensed on the gas, heart shriveling and stomach almost like it had been forced into a blender.
The Blacks' house came more quickly than I thought. I killed the engine when I pulled up against the curb, listening to the sound and vibrations die, leaving me to face my emotions without interference. I'm alone.
And I don't want to go in the dark, damp house and face Jacob. I steady my shaking hand between my knees and bite my lip. I peek at Billy's window across the dashboard, watching, waiting, feeling like a helpless rabbit stuck down a dark hole. The still scene remains and when nothing proves to be in motion, I feel safe. I don't plan to have a conversation like before: just Bella and Jake, no one else.
I only remember it in images. Jacob stands by his window, behind him four others pause motionlessly. Embry, Paul, Jared...Sam. And this feeling of hate inside me that I almost can't control. I hate him for taking away my Jacob. Not the Jacob that tried to kill Edward—no, not him. That sun had vanished, forever gone.
The sky is dark, the sun isn't going to shine again, and so my only hope is the moon that waits behind gray clouds.
I thread my fingers through my hair, flattening my palms against my scalp while rocking back and forth incessantly. It's only after a stretch of long minutes so I gather my courage and get out of the truck slowly, holding carefully onto my stomach. I'm briefly reminded of the burden inside me and shudder at the idea of hospitals, never planning on returning until the baby arrives.
I take a few steps on earth I have not tread upon in months, last being when I came to get my Jake back. Everything somehow circled back to him: as much as I tried for it not to be, this was about Jake.
I grunt at the thought, perhaps more loudly than I should, but don't care because my head with swimming at the thought that maybe Charlie was right.
His words haunt me as I move towards the door. Don't you see my point? Bella! Have you completely forgotten who spent half their lives with you?! Or are you pretending that you don't have feelings for him... How can you be this blind?"
I shut my eyes at the thought. No, Bella, you can't beat yourself up on this. Something shifts and I start, skin prickling as a voice slips through the quiet.
"Bella? Is that you?" I sigh in relief, glad that the voice didn't belong Billy nor Sam nor the Jacob I came for.
I inhale, calming down as I recognize and embrace the husky, soft voice of Jared. He appears from behind the house and raises both eyebrow in surprise.
"Bella," he says, surprised.
"Hey." I force a smile and wave my hand. So much for a private conversation.
"Hey..." he answers, still stunned. A long, awkward silence follows until he takes a hesitant step. "I don't mean to be rude but why the hell are you here?"
Well, straight to the point. I open my mouth to speak, but before I can manage a few words Seth comes jogging around the corner, placing himself between Jared and I.
"You're here!" he chirps, all smiles as if he has been expecting me.
"You knew she was coming?" Jared shoots a sharp glance at his younger counterpart.
"No, I mean, yes. But you see—no. What I mean is..." he stumbles on his words, eyes wide and honest.
"Chill, neither of us bite," Jared mollifies and holds Seth's shoulder. "Deep breaths and just tell us. Use English."
"I knew Bella would eventually show, just didn't know when," he admits, almost guiltily.
"Thought she'd come sooner." He smiles shyly, hand clasping his shoulder. I twist my lips. Perhaps he meant as soon as I had been discharged.
"You know, you actually came right on time," Seth perks near immediately. "We were just about to leave." He practically grabs my hand and drags me along, rounding the house with Jared close behind.
Jared managed to force Seth to a stop by the edge of the woods, growling, wrenching my wrist from his hand. "It's not like you can just drag the pregnant lady around," he gripes.
Seth's eyes widen. "Right, sorry." He gives me an apologetic look.
"It's okay, you're just...You have a strong grip," I managed, admiring my arm. He hadn't even noticed my tugs on of his fingers.
"Alright, no woods. Let's take it inside," Jared grouches, adding, "Looks like rain." He points to the sky to justify himself.
A thought hits me and I move away. "Wow, thanks, but I'd rather not. I should be going..." I'm cut off when I notice a dark figure moving between the trees, freezing when he sees me. Light hits his face and I pale.
"What's she doing here," Paul growls, glowering at Seth.
Jared came to the rescue. "She was about to leave, just coming to check up on Seth."
Seth nods in support. "Yup."
Paul doesn't buy it. "Since when do you care about Seth?" he accuses, trudging in our direction.
"I can send her back if it pleases his royal highness," Jared mocks for a moment.
Paul snarls and pushes Jared away by the chest. "Stay out of it. She should know she's not welcome here anymore."
Jared's eyes soften. "Paul..."
"Shut it!" Paul snaps, and Jared goes silent. He turns back to me. "What do you want?"
I shouldn't have been, but I was frightened. I knew that if I had punched him once I was capable to doing it again, but my heart didn't seem to be on the same page as our history, racing faster the more Paul stared.
Seth made a motion to block Paul, standing between us.
"She came to see Jacob," he challenges boldly.
"Pfft," Paul scoffs. "For what? To see if he still has a pulse?" He snorts and towers over Seth in an instant.
"Paul, stop. Leave her be. She came here alone and in peace," Seth defends.
"Thank you Captain Obvious," Paul replies, rolling his eyes. "Good to know she came without a sack of leeches to guard her." His eyes darken.
"Move." He makes to shove the immobile Seth, but he resists.
"No."
Paul twitches. "What."
"I said no, Paul," he speaks again. "I'm not moving. She needs to talk to Jacob. Leave her alone. Now." The once small, innocent boy suddenly becomes as fierce as his elder instantly.
"Move or I'll move you," Paul threatens.
I can't hold my tongue any longer. "Please, Paul, is Jacob even here?"
Paul tenses. "I suggest you turn around and run back to your tics."
This strikes a rebellious chord. "Don't tell me what to do," I retort.
"Don't forget princess that you're in our territory," Paul smiles. "Everything we say goes. Now beat it."
"Paul, Jacob and I are none of your business. Stop interfering and just tell me where he is!"
"It's not your relationship anymore," Paul growls. "You can't call it that after involving everyone in it. Because of your pathetic need for a man, we've had to become like this. Because of you, Harry died, those trackers in the woods died. Because of you, Emily is scared. Because of you, Leah isn't the same. Quil got stuck with a toddler. A kid lost his freedom. Jake changed. Haven't we suffered enough because of you? The only reason I've kept quiet this long if because of Jake. But not anymore. Not after you used him and then broke his heart."
"You can't blame me for that, I didn't have anything to do with—,"
"Hell, I can blame you for everything!" he screams.
"You are the cause of every bad thing that has happened here. When you came everything went downhill. Our relationship with the tics was fine until you came and made a mess of everything we had worked for, involving other leeches in our business. The red-head came back because of you. Who's fault is everything? Who made us into monsters? You play a huge role in everything. Heck, you destroyed the whole tribe! You make us fight each other, doubt each other. The day you stepped foot here what the last day of peace in our lives."
"I didn't ask for any of that!" I cry. "Do you think I want to get into trouble?" Seth grips my arm tighter. He didn't need anyone to phase.
"Perhaps you do."
"What?!" I gasp, exasperated.
"What do you expect us to think? Those leeches left, but you went after them and brought them back! How can you be this selfish?! After all Jacob did for you, you still went running back for your stupid, ugly, ignorant—,"
"You have no right to talk about Edward that way!" I interrupt.
"Paul..." Seth tries but Paul quickly shuts him down.
"Don't take her side, Seth, don't sympathize with the murderer of your father..."
Seth flinches, eyes watering. "Paul, she's family..."
"The day you left," Paul growls, "the day you chose the leech over Jake, that was the last straw. No more." He spits at my feet.
" what? Ok,let me get one thing straight. I left" stressing the last two words and continued "because you guys were controlling me. Ever since i was staying with Jake, you guys controlled my every move. Sam forced me to stay around here, i didn't even get to visit Alice whenever I like, she's my best friend! And what more, He could've killed Edward. You guys chased them away because those stupid treaty rules."
" that treaty is the only reason, you and the rest of the residents here are still alive should be grateful." Paul said advancing a few steps towards me.
" And about Jake, if he didn't step in the other day. You would've lost child and might as well yourself."
"No! Don't you blindly accuse Edward. He would nev.."
" Cut the crap woman! Your unborn child paralyzed because of him and still you are defending the lover boy's of yours? What kind of mother are you? Jake has been putting in effort to make your relationship work and you're the one here accusing him guilty. "
baby paralyzed. My hand automatically wound itself to my womb. My chest began to tighten, my brain began to over took me, that gave Paul an advantage and kept on criticizing me.
" if you didn't have any intention to be with him you shouldn't have lead Jake on and then let him rot. He did all he could but you..pathetic.." he said in disgust.
" what did he exactly do?" my voice croaked and fist tightened.
"Bella.. " Seth reached out to grab me but I stepped away.
"No. Seth. i want to know. I WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT JAKE HAS DONE THAT I HADN'T! What has he done that is much greater than my lose." My voice rang through out the green surrounding.
" I lost the love of life, my dad, my friends. The whole town isn't looking at me the same way anymore, I was the one in hospital not him! I endured the pain not him! I have to take care both him and Edward! I ha.."
"shut up! You brought all those problems, yourself. Don't you point fingers at others, because of your stubbornness! If you had stayed put like we told you to. None of that would've have happened. You don't listen that's your problem!"
" And god knows that you don't plan things either. You just let yourself be swept away. Like the time, Billy advised you not to hang around with the cold ones, now what look how many people died because of the red hair tracking you. You could have learned your lesson but no. you wanted more, you followed the pixie and added yourself more oh here's the best one, " Jake is just my best friend..." Paul was pushed before he could finish.
" Stop it" Seth growled.
" why should i? She hurt our brother. Can't you see how much he suffers? Doesn't it hurt to watch him walk around like a corpse? Tell me, that this isn't her fault! Tell me Seth!" Paul wall yelling at Seth and his arms began to quiver.
"she didn't know any better,Paul." Seth said shaking his head in disagreement.
" You're telling me, that she didn't know any better after knowing Jake run away when she took off with the pixie? Or the time when she found she was pregnant with Jake's kid and thought of getting rid off it? Really Seth?"
" It's not that I wanted to get rid off , you wont understand. I don't love Jacob like I love Edward." My voice was soft, i couldn't hold back my tears. Maybe he is right, maybe i am a bad mother, but that doesn't change my love towards Edward.
" Maybe you're right, I don't understand. But I do know that Jake loves you more than you know. He left us all just because you broke his heart. He even let you decide the fate of his child. Heck he even discarded Billy! His own dad because Billy disapprove you. What did you in return? Run off again with just like you always even then, after all you said that day. He was always there watching over both of you."Paul said
"what.." i whispered, looking up at him finally.
"But you didn't know that, huh?" he raised an eyebrow.
" Every night since the day, you left he stayed outside your house and guarded like a dog, just so he could be there if you were in pain with the baby. And to think even a dog would have been treated better than how you treated Jake." Paul sighed before continuing.
" He followed you to protect both you and the baby from the red hair. He even slept off in the hospital everyday watching over you and kept you didn't sleep ,eat, bath, nothing! He was nowhere to be found if he wasn't there with was about you and the baby. he left us for you! He rather live a life being alone than being with the family that loved him. But you! Running after danger again and again. And the worst part of all is. You knew. You knew all along but still .." he stretched the last word which allowed me to butt in.
" i can't help it." I admitted. " i love Edward. We belong together. Jake and I, we were just suppose to be..." in this vulnerable state, i was. I couldn't help but to let myself be honest.
" God woman! Would you stop that?! You belong to Jake. He imp..." before Paul could finish. He was thrown against the tree.
" Bella" Seth shouted as he grabbed me and brought me to the side.
I froze and held my breath without even realising. Everything was a blank, but I heard growling sounds and howling as well. I stared at the events that are happening in front of me, i couldn't comprehend them at first but when reality sank in. I realized, there was allot of big,fury wolves surrounding the tree that Paul was hit. I tried my hardest to stand up, to watch with my own eyes what is happening. Two wolves circling each other and growling back in the middle of circle of wolves.
The dark silver fur, was snarling back at the bigger russet brown... russet BROWN! JACOB! A wave of realization hit me as I understood that Jake must have pushed Paul to the tree to just... he just save me?
Before i was caught up into my trail of thoughts, a loud deep growled erupted from the circle of wolves. Their angry snarls echoed like thunder, that may have fooled me because of the dark sky covering above us. Both Jake and Paul were circling each other, snarling, growling until.. Jacob launched the first attack onto Paul's neck. It didn't stop there, no it wouldn't. Because Paul was a fighter too. But as the fight got intense, the rest of pack got closer to watch the conflict, completely blocking my view.
NO! Jacob! I started walking towards the scene but Seth grabbed me back. "No Bella" he stressed and his grip tighten as well.
" Seth let me go. I need to see Jacob" i gritted my teeth, as tears started flowing from my eyes. I didn't know why or when i started crying. But I am and I didn't stop.I know it is futile for me to break free from his grip but still.. I tried. I had to.
Through all the chaos, a loud growl erupted from the circle of the werewolves, it was louder than anything I have heard before. My heart raced faster by the second, never faster than i have ever felt because i swear at that second i could feel my own heart beat clearly. It was rigging in my ear, and my body felt warmer all of sudden.
Something is not right, something terrible had happened. My heart continued pounding against my chest, as if it wants to break free from my chest but before I could anything about the pain, a loud wailing sound caught my attention, the one you would normally hear if a dog gets hurts. At the same time, Seth let go off my ... more like he lost his grip. It couldn't be.
"no..no.." I mouthed, as I fell on to knees, one hand was found it's way to wound around my baby mound and the other barely covering my mouth from my surprise. Pause. As if the author of the moment hit the button, everything stopped. Seth, the pack,Paul and..Jake. It was quiet, too quiet. No, Paul wouldn't have..Jake is strong, he wouldn't have lost.
Jake.. I called after him in my heart
Jake... my heart stopped, I lost him. I truly lost him. Didn't I? I tried to open my eyes to prove myself, I was wrong. This couldn't be it, but the tears blurred my vision. They started falling down , I didn't force myself to stop crying. No, I let myself free. For the first time, I let go of everything.
"Jake" I whispered as I outstretch my hand, as if I could catch him. "I'm sorry" I mouthed, as I balled my fist out of anger.
Anger against Paul or was it myself. A part of me, my conscience is telling me that it's my fault. If it weren't for my actions, this wouldn't have happened. But another part of me, which I never really knew existed in me, is asking me to get revenge for Jacob. It took control over me, anger flared through my eyes. Paul.
But, as soon as I heard low, weak growl coming from where the fight happened. My heart rejoiced, Jake.. could it be.
"JAKE!" I shouted, as i got up to my feet, so fast I thought I would have fell but Seth caught me in time. But I was wrong, he didn't let go off me after he caught me, he hold me still.
" Let go off me" I shouted as I fought him hard, but he resisted. He grabbed me from behind as his arms snaked in front of my baby bump and pulling me back.
"No Bella. It's dangerous. Stay here, Jake's fine" he tried to reassure me but I needed to see for myself. No words could satisfy me from my need to hold Jake in my arms and see him smiling back at me.
" no! i need to see him" I shouted at Seth while hands were working on getting away from Seth's clutches.
"No Bella! Listen to me" he tried. I tried. He tried to comfort me. I tried to escape. "Jake!" I wailed, calling out to him.
I realized the pack knew what i wanted, in an instant I saw the grey with dark spots and chocolate brown fur moved out of my way and I saw the russet wolf beneath the paws of the dark silver wolf. "Jake.." I whispered as I hold back my tears.
I could have swore that I saw the russet wolf had tears in it's eyes as well. I managed to see that little but meaningful detailed because of it's face angle was facing me, the silver wolf's paw was on Jake's face,squishing his beautiful face . I wasn't hurt anymore but I still held anger against Paul. It was like a time bomb, even the slightest movement from Paul could trigger me.
I wasn't sure if it was because of Charlie's speech or Paul's out burst or even if because I was carrying Jake's baby. I wasn't sure which was the source of me seeing Jake in a new light but some how I didn't care. I'm just glad to see him being alive. "Jake" the words escape my mouth before forming a genuine smile on my face, as the last drop of tears glisten down my cheeks.
The wolf was still staring at me until the other one, pressed his paws hard on Jake's face and growled at him. As if Paul was scolding Jake.
For a second there, I thought Jake was in pain but before I could even blink, he flipped Paul and got on his paws and maintained that position, as if he was waiting, for Paul to make a move. I realised that he wasn't the only one anticipating Paul's next move. I realized that everyone was engrossed in this conflict and not to mention Seth as well, and so I took that chance to escape.
I don't how, but i managed to slip in between the brown and black fur wolf, and would have arrive at Jake's side but i stopped. When i heard him, sending a low growling sound. I stopped at my tracks.
"Bella! I told you its dangerous" Seth shouted, running after me and caught my arm again but I wasn't going to let him capture me again.
"no Seth, let me go. I want to be with Jacob" I spat at him. But before he could even protest, the dark silver wolf took his time making his way towards us, everyone froze... except for Jacob. The large russet fur wolf, move past me .
"Jake, don't.." it came out like a whisper but he heard. The wolf, well my wolf turned his head to the side to look at me, and growled. In way, I was comfort by that. Our eyes were locked into each until Paul hissed, made Jake whip back his head.
Back, onto concentrating Paul who was in front of him. They stayed still together for quite some time, it may have look as if nothing was going on except two wolves staring back at each other. But only some, may know that two men were conversing with each other or so i think.
And soon, the silver wolf shook his head, as if in disappointment and left. he sprinted into the woods followed by a brown color wolf. The rest remained, but I didn't. I ran towards Jake, and threw my arms around his neck. Even though my arms couldn't reach around his neck, i still clinged onto his wolf form. " oh.. Jake" i sniffed, and tried to bury my face in his fur so that he couldn't see I'm crying.
But my Jake, he always managed to chase away my worries. He nudged his nose against my hair, when I didn't respond he changed his strategy and tickled my neck. I tried to resist but I gave up quickly. I turned my face to look at him but i was still laying my head against his soft, thick fur..cozy... and so much more that if i wanted to list down it would take a life i don't words could even describe the feeling that i had when i got capture in those eyes.
Even though, my Jake is in his wolf form, his eyes never changed. It's the same one i have been staring at for past 18 years of my life.i never grew tired of it and never will.
Do you know the feeling you get when you get yourself a hot chocolate during rainy time? or when you sit in a corner in the library where the sun shines in through a small window and you can see the dust particles swirling around as you read your favorite book. Or even when your favorite songs plays in the background and everything just seems to set in the way, you wanted it and you let go of everything just to be in that you know it's a rare moment and when it comes you have to grab it and try to keep it as long as you could. I found it and i hold on to it.
And I smiled, feeling at ease. But the feeling didn't stay long, because Jake flinched and shook his head vigorously as if something is bothering. I tried to figure out the cause but it was futile. Before I could even communicate with him, he took off. He ran, leaving me. but I wasn't prepared to be left again. "jake! Wait" I ran after him and the rest of the pack after me.
I know I would be a fool if I thought I could reach him, but still my legs kept moving. They don't see the logic that my brain does. They kept running, and by being Bella. I am not allowed to just be normal, I just had to something. And that moment my clumsiness kicked in and I tripped. Yes, a pregnant woman tripped. I shut my eyes tight and awaited for the fall, the hard floor of the green moss forest welcomed me with open arms as I felt a gush of wind hit my face.
I fell, my knees landed on the soil but my stomach didn't as well as my my entire upper body. Something caught me, i realized. I opened my eyes to see what had happened but all i saw was grey hair like thing right in front my eyeballs. I shrieked and back away a little and got the full picture. A grey wolf, caught me by crouching down it's body in front of me. it looked angry and let of a low but deep growl as if it's scolding me. I was about to thank it but it left sooner than i thought, jumping into the other side of the forest and disappearing.
I was still confused on what just happened, but I instantly turned my head when i felt Jake's presence but realized a big dark black wolf was standing in front of Jake in a crouched position and growling loudly at him. I couldn't identify who the raven fur was , it's almost the same size as Jake but still Jake was bigger. I was shocked, when Jacob snarled viciously, I could see him biting down his canine teeth, he is angry. No, not again Jacob."please don't fight." i prayed silently, I could almost feel my tears swelling up again.
I'm not sure if the dark fur wolf noticed me or not but it sure did stomped his paws with so much force that everyone within that radius could have felt the effect, when a tear trickle down my cheeks. Jacob's snarling and anger ceased soon, and he shook his head and nodded once. And as if, the other wolf got his message, he took off into the woods joining his brothers leaving just me and my russet boy.
As soon as we were alone, I opened my mouth and called him "jake.." to my surprise he didn't respond, he didn't turn back to face me either. "jake.." this time I tried to reach him as I walked nearer to him but then a sandy colored wolf jumped in between us. I instantly recognized who the wolf was. Seth! not because of the his wolf build which is smaller and rangier than of his brothers. It because he gave me a huge grin, the one your puppy gives you when it welcomes you back home. He brought along with him a pair of shorts and lay it on the ground in front of Jake and left.
I kept my eyes on Seth as he went deeper into forest but he did manage to wink at me before doing so. I chuckled at his action and brought my attention back to...whoa!
Jacob Black nude as the day he was born is standing a few meters in front me, as he was putting on his shorts.I could feel blood rush to my cheeks at the sight of him being..you know. I quickly looked away, even though . we did...once , it still felt awkward.
"are you just going to stand?" Jacob startled me. my throat constricted,i tried to hide in vain the lump, that had began to grow there.
"errm.. nope." I said shaking my head, as I mentally finding for a topic to start with him.
"who was it? The one who saved me from the fall?" that's the best i could come up with.
" Leah"
"ahh.. no wonder.."i trailed off. While kicking a small pebble on the ground, while looking at him under my lashes.
"look if there's nothing else. Leave, i got work to do" he said, already turning his back to me, both of his hands in his pockets.
"wait! I came to see you" i shouted.
"well, it's still working. You could leave now."he said while patting his chest,the area where his heart is while biting down his lower lip.
I could feel the cold disdain, from . Not again. It's like deja vu, Jake and me in the woods. Him being cold towards still I want to.. I need to try.
"Isn't it weird? We are in this position that we once were?" I said, hoping he would soften or even stop walking away from me, if he remembered. It worked, he stopped on his tracks but did turn to face me.
I heard him smirk and, "you put me in this position, twice. I didn't ask for it."
"but the last time i came. I wanted to save you" I replied him urgently, trying to defend my past action.
" I wasn't the one who needed to be saved. Leave, before it rains" he said as he walked into the forest.
It hurts, as he walks away from me. I felt as if the string that is holding us together was being stretched and not the way you stretch a rubber band more like the way you blow up a bubble gum. To much space, it popes.
"Wait Jake!" I yelled after him as i ran into the woods, trying to get to him before he phases.I tried and I tried but he seems to be getting further. I sped up to him, using all the remaining strength I had in my running skills and barely but still managed to grabbed a hold of his shoulder.
" Jake..." I gasped for air. He remained silent for a while and then said
"Let go off me" his voice was empty, but he did stiffen at the touch of my hand
"jake?" I whispered not believing that this is happening ..again.
"I said let go off me Bella" he raised his voice a little
"Jake, why are you acting like this?" i asked him
"why did you come? I thought you said you're never coming back?"
"i said a lot of things" I couldn't justify my actions.
"State your purpose" there was no emotion intact in his voice.
"Are you really going to treat me like this?" i asked, as i chewed my inner lips
"Isn't this how you wanted me to treat you?" he retorted.
"No, it isn't" i said, and i realise, my plan just falter but into dust under the impact of my stupidity.
"Well I'm sorry Bella. I think I got the wrong message when you told me not to treat you like that anymore. You said I didn't deserve it " he continued "Maybe you should've explain to me what did you mean by that and how do you want me to treat you from now on, cause seriously I'm tired and confused"
"Jake please" I said moving forward to him. I took a step closer to him. He back away from me two steps.
"No!"he shouted and then continued in a low tone "Stop. Just stop right there.. Don't try it again Bella. I'm not strong enough to go through it for the third time"
"Just go back to Charlie" he said as an afterthought.
" No I wont!"I shouted
"Suite yourself. I don't care" he said keeping the poker face on.
"Liar." I whisper at first but then i burst.
"Liar!" i shouted as loud as i can. And as if cue when i broke down into tears, the dark sky's, rain fell down too.
"Liar! You stupid ignorant liar!" i shouted as if nobody's business but he kept walking away from. "Liar.." it came out as a whisper and i continued "Why? why didn't you tell me?!" i raised my voice a little hoping it would catch his attention.
And I was right, it did catch his attention because he stopped. He stopped walking and asked. " What are you talking about?"
"Don't pretend that you don't know. You should have told me sooner." I took my chance and gave it my all.
"Bella.." he called out, soften but it was my turn to be cold.
" Why did you let Edward lie to me?"
"what?"
"The bike? You didn't tell Charlie the real story did you?" I brought that one up, since it was the main reason I came to meet him.
" I ... I couldn't. And I wouldn't go back on my words. I promised, remember" he said ever so softly that it could have killed me, if it was not for that silver string holding me on.
"Why? why are you being so nice to me, I don't deserve it." It's hard for me to hate him if keeps on doing like this.
"You won't understand. Not now" he said bringing back his cold side, as he straightens his back.
"Don't tell me that. Don't' you dare push me away like how he does. Like how everyone does, I thought, I could trust you and you would trust me back. "My voice faded at the end.
" Trust me? When did you ever do that? When I said I loved you, I meant it Bella. And yet you left with Alice to get him. Was that how you showed your trust to me? or when You went behind my back to meet him and almost kill our baby? Is that how much you trust me? " he said hitting his chest hard.
"You are not all good either. You didn't tell me, that our..." I paused, I could feel my breath become heavy, like I couldn't get enough air, tears tugged in my eyes as i continued.
" You didn't tell me our child is paralyzed for life either. How many more secrets are you keeping from me?" I choked.
"Bella" he turned to face me now, his look soften and I can sense his guilt.
" why? why would keep that from me? you started to act like Edward more and more.."
" I didn't keep anything from you. It's you didn't give me the chance to say it. Don't you remember?" " he cut me through before I could finish talking.
"Well you could have told me if you wanted to. You could have came to my house" I retorted.
"I wasn't allowed to. Don't come to forks or call. That was the order, remember?" He counter attacked.
"But you came, you were there at the hospital. You were always there weren't you? You could have told me if you wanted."
" but why should I?" he caught me off guard with that question.
"What?"
" Yes Bella, why should I be the one to tell you about our child's condition? Aren't you suppose to know about that? Didn't Sue tell you, in your last appointment?" I blinked for a mere second, couldn't really believe this is happening
"Of course, she would've told if only...you went. If you cared that is." He said, almost alike to Paul
"Don't you dare accuse me" i was outraged by their accusation.
"Why shouldn't I? Give me a bloody good reason why shouldn't I?" he stressed every word, as he was clenching his teeth
"Because you are not the one who is carrying the baby! you are not the one who is in a lot of problems. And you are not the one who lost everything!" i said flapping my hand in the air.
"You! You! You! Is that all you ever think? What about me? forget that, I accept that you may never love me back but what about our baby? what did it do to deserve any of these? You knew, what it would do to the baby if you were in a close distance with him but yet you went along with your heart. I'm not going to ask why or what. I'm sick and tired of this tirade, just go back home and ... try to keep our baby alive, please. " he begged but he didn't stop there.
"Please Bella,"
That did it, it really hurt. Way to poke the knife and twist it.
A second there he made believe that maybe it really was my fault. His words pushed me back to memory lane, forcing me to remember back every detail. It was like karma was, punishing me, emotionally. Maybe i did deserve it all, i was the one who came into picture, i brought it all to myself. Because i was dumb enough to play with others feelings, foolish enough to think that my actions wouldn't affect others and selfish for wanting both of them
"I'm sorry," I said but he kept walking away in the rain.
" I said I'm sorry" I shouted and continued
" I take full responsibility, for everything. You can't imagine how sorry I am- and believe me, i know how inadequate a stupid apology is. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be in this mess."
I had to because it is my fault. After all he has no choice, I've taken that from him. The same goes to his life and his family. I taken all that from him, just for myself. I'm sorry Jake.
Droplets of transparent liquid fell on top me and wetting everywhere around me. Coldness would soon creep back to my skin and bones, no. that wouldn't do, the baby need to be warm. So I quickly fasten my jacket and pull the hoodie on.
" Sorry is hardly good enough Bella. You have made a grave mistake. Perhaps you have forgotten the boy who was your best friend and over the years that we have been together because you made it clear the other day, that i wasn't needed anymore in your life. And by the way , did you knock your head some where on the way here? Cause you must be out of your mind, the Bella I know would never in a millions years come back here.."
"Jake" i interrupted him
" You must have a lot more important things going on in your life."
"Jake." I called him again
" No Bella. For once you listen to me. All these while, I was listening to you but for once I want a change."I kept quiet because I figured, I owed him at least that much after everything he'd been through. And karma found it's way to me and swallowed me up whole.
" I don't think, I could keep all these things in me anymore and it is clearly hurts the pack more than it does to me. So listen, If you think saying sorry will fix this and if you think I will sympathize with your heart break, with the lost of your dear beloved leech. Then you are wrong. So wrong.."he continued.
"Me, your best friend, your so called sun. Who you tossed on the garbage. Me, who was hurt the most in this love triangle that you created. Bella, you flirted with me just so you could get information about the Cullens. I thought you loved me, I thought finally Bella sees me as a guy who is worth for her. Even now, no matter the distance that has grown between us, I still waste my life loving you. Ignoring my dad! The one who needs to be cared by me or my brothers who suffer the pain I feel and kept within me every time I phase. I have loved you and will always love you Bella but for now, I need to reconcile with my family..."
His words stung me, as I felt tears escape. I cursed inwardly, for feeling weak. This is my fault, I deserve every ounce of his hate. But I had no power to stop the slow trickle that fell down my cheek it would hard to distinguish the rain from my tears.
"...the people that love me and that I have hurt. Good bye Bella." He whispered those words and left .
And I fell on to my knees, and slowly due to time without me realising it. I curled up in a fetal position, just like how my child is in my womb.
"must be warm."
"Keep the baby safe."
I chanted both those phrases as if they were mantras or spells that may be able to reverse or even save me. My mind was blank and I could hardly feel legs. Something or someone in the back of my mind was telling me
" Bella, get up".
It sounded like Jake, but... that's impossible. He wouldn't.. he hates me. And the worst part of all is, i made him that way. I created that cruel, cold, soul less monster he is now. I could have sworn i heard Paul mocking me
" Are you happy now? He is just like one of them" accompanied with the evil laughter.
The rain started to pour down even harder; it was as if the droplets were needles poking me. i deserve that. Somehow the pain, woke me up. I don't think, I'd really fallen asleep or was drifted away somewhere, I was just lost in an unthinking stupor, holding with all my remaining strength to stay tried to get my mind distracted or even a small coma would do.
I don't want to face Charlie, Jake, Edward or anyone else. I made a big mistake and I'm embarrassed that i didn't realized that sooner. Then maybe i could have fixed it...
The rain bothered me a little. It was getting freezing. I wrapped my baby bump even tighter. "Don't worry, mommy's here. I'll protect you" I whispered to my unborn child, that I have deeply affected.
My baby.. My poor baby. What have i done? I squeezed my eyes tightly not sure whether not wanting to get rain into my eyes or to stop the tears that are forming.
It was then, I heard the calling again. It was farther away this time, it sounded as if the voice doubled but I was sure, it wasn't. Because one voice was more feminine than the other. The voices were getting louder, I could hear them clearly calling out for me.
I was trying to gather my strength and courage to turn my head when i heard a sound, startling close. I remained still and waited until I felt a hand on my back shaking me.
"Bella?"
when I didn't reply, the voice sounded even more concern and desperate.
"Bella!" this time the force, rolled me over so now I was on my back and holding up a hand to cover my eyes.
"ooh..Bella. Thank god. You are alive" Emily said, desperately as she hugged. I realized she was crying because I felt her cheek warmer and swollen and behind her was Seth looking worried.
"Nice day to rain eh?" i said, to break the dull atmosphere
"Erghh you idiot." Emily grumbled as she put my hand over her shoulders and tried to lift me up but she wasn't able to do that until Seth lend a hand .
"where are we going?" I asked
"Home"