"Do you need anything sweetheart?" I looked up from Harper's crib to see Gemma poking her head in the dorm room. I shook my head with a smile.
"Nope, she's perfect and I'm fine. Any idea when this lockdown is going to be over though?" She swallowed hard and tightened her lips into a thin line. After I was released from the hospital, Harper and I barely had twenty four hours at home when Happy ordered us to the clubhouse for lockdown. Gemma and Tara had been helping me a lot with Harper, but it had been almost two weeks and I was getting restless.
"You'd have to talk to Chibs about that, doll. They're still trying to get to the bottom of why you were attacked that day. All I know is that the last time I asked about taking you to my house, Happy about bit my head off. For someone that doesn't talk much, he had a lot to say about the matter." She gave me an apologetic shrug and half smile. Of course Happy had snapped when she asked about me leaving the clubhouse, we argued about it almost every other day.
"Yeah, he won't admit it but I think he feels guilty. It's not his fault but he won't listen to me. Hell, he threw a fit one day when I was in the garage and Harper was in here sleeping." I looked back at Harper and shook my head slowly. She was in for a tough few years once she was a teenager, but thankfully I had a little time before we had to worry about that.
I followed Gemma out of the room and closed the door as silently as possible. Harper normally slept well but she could wake up to any small noise within the first thirty minutes or so. Just yesterday, I had gotten her down for a nap and planned on taking one myself when Chibs banged on the door. Harper woke up immediately and screamed until her little face was beet red.
"Chibs! Do you have a minute?" He was walking out of the chapel behind Happy and Piney. Happy gave me a quick, one armed hug before heading out towards the garage. Piney took up his usual spot at the bar and Chibs nodded, leaning up against the pool table.
"Aye, sorry about yesterday, Ana. I didn't even think before knocking on tha door. Everything ok?" He pushed his sunglasses up into his hair and looked me in the eye. Ever since Harper was born, I noticed him looking me in the eye more and more.
"Don't worry about it. I know it's an adjustment for everybody. I was wondering when my house arrest was ending. Tomorrow is visitation and I really want to go see Opie." I felt a little uncomfortable talking to him about Opie, but I knew it would get easier with time. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Ya planning on taking Harper with ya?" He glanced behind me and down towards the dorms. I laughed and shook my head.
"I know he'd love to see her but I can't take her down there. She's too young and susceptible to germs and everything. Tara was planning on watching her if I can go." I smiled and almost laughed at how similar this felt to asking a parent for permission to go out on a date.
"Lockdown won't be over for a while but we can work it out for ya to go see Ope. I'll talk to Happy about going with ya tomorrow. Sure he'll want to draw up some huge plan." Chibs laughed a little and patted me on the arm. I smiled and nodded a silent thank you. If Chibs was anyone else, I would have hugged him but we still had a level of awkwardness between us.
There was a loud outburst of laughter from down towards the dorms and I cringed, hoping Harper wouldn't wake up. I found myself holding my breath, counting the seconds as they ticked by without a scream or cry. I didn't make it to ten before the loud scream from my tiny baby hit my ears. The two croweaters that emerged from the hallway scrunched their noses at the sound.
HAPPY
"Seriously though, who would bring a loud ass baby into the clubhouse?" I stopped wiping down my bike and turned my head to look at the stupid women. They looked like they'd shared the same bottle of peroxide a couple months ago. Neither one of them could ever pass as real blondes with the inch of dark hair near their scalp. Regardless of how often they waxed or dyed their hair, they just looked cheap.
"I heard Tammie telling Lacey that she and Happy were hooking up. I'm all for a good fuck but Opie is going to drop her ass in a heart beat." I stood up from my spot where I was crouching down and wiping off my exhaust and watched the blonde facing the garage go green.
"If you ain't sucking dick, your fucking mouths need to be closed." I growled into the girl's ear, gripping the back of her neck tightly. She nodded and moaned in pain. I pushed her forward and shook my head, pissed that we couldn't just remove all their damn vocal cords. Ana walked outside of the clubhouse and raised her brow as the dumb bitch cried into the tits of the other bitch.
"What's your problem?" She asked the blondes in passing. They both glanced at me and shook their heads with their mouths closed. I smirked. Maybe they were finally learning something.
"Harper wake up?" I asked over my shoulder as I headed back to finish wiping my bike down. Ana laughed and followed me over.
"For all of about three minutes. I think she's actually getting used to noises and learning to ignore them." She smiled and sat down on Piney's seat as I scrubbed at some tar on my pipes. Normally, an old lady wasn't supposed to sit on a bike that wasn't her old man's, but she and Piney were family. Even if she wasn't with Opie, they had a father daughter dynamic going way before she got back with Ope.
"Good, almost felt bad gagging bitches in the dorm room." I smirked and glanced up at her as she screwed up her face. I hadn't actually taken any of the stupid bitches into the dorm since Harper and Ana got out, but it was still fun to mess with her.
"Will you go up to Stockton with me tomorrow? Tara's coming to watch Harper and Chibs told me to tell you to go with me. I thought I'd be nice and ask instead." She fluttered her eyelashes at me and tried to look innocent. I laughed and shook my head, finally getting the fucking tar off my chrome.
"How thoughtful. Yeah, I'll go with you. We taking the cage or the bikes?" I knew that question would throw her off. She hadn't ridden her Iron 883 since she found out she was pregnant.
"We can take the bikes? Uh, no brainer, Hap. I'm sick of the steering wheel and all that steel around me. I mean, it's practical but I miss my Iron." She yanked my rag away and moved over to her bike that was at the end of the row. I laughed and followed her over. It was nice to see her happy. Not that she had been that bad recently, but I could tell being pretty much a single mother was taking its toll.
Taking the bikes tomorrow obviously meant more risk, but I knew she needed it. If it came to it, I would drive my Dyna into anybody that tried to fuck with her. I let my guard down for three minutes at the gas station and she and Harper both almost paid the price. She may not be my old lady and Harper ain't my kid, but I'd be damned if I didn't love them both. She was like the little sister I never had or wanted.
"I'm going to ask you something, but I don't want you to freak out or think too hard about it." Ana said as she started polishing the Iron's front fork. I rolled my toothpick around in anticipation and nodded, knowing there was no telling what her question was going to be.
"Do you ever think about what life would be like if a certain event didn't occur or you made a different choice at one time or the other?" She didn't look away from the small circles she was making with the rag. I didn't like the question because I didn't know where it was coming from.
"I don't regret anything, Ana. I don't think about that because it's not something I can control anymore. What's going on?" I did my best to keep my voice flat so she wouldn't shut the conversation down. She sighed and her circles stopped.
"I was never planning on being a mother, Happy. Don't get me wrong, I love Harper and I would do anything for her. I just wonder what life would be like if I'd kept the appointment at the clinic. My freedom is pretty much gone for the next eighteen years." She twisted her mouth and started the circles back up again. I took a deep breath and held it in for a minute before letting it out in a huff.
"From what I've heard, it's easier when the dad is around, Ana. What can't you do now that you could do before?" I raised an eyebrow at her as she laughed. There was obviously a lot going on inside her head.
"Happy, I've been on lockdown for the past two weeks. In the past, I could have taken care of myself. Now? I have to base every decision on what's best for somebody else." She sighed and moved back to what little chrome she had on her engine cover.
"What you're saying is you can't reenlist like you were planning on anymore." I nodded as her eyes shot up to look at me. I'd seen her reenlistment papers lying around a couple weeks before she took Opie's crow.
"You need hair to keep all these damn secrets in, Hap. Why'd you do my crow if you about that? You had to have seen them right before I got inked." She was sitting sideways on her bike with her legs outstretched towards me. I squatted down and tapped my toothpick through the denim over my knee.
"You're an adult, Ana. I'm not really in the position to question your decisions. You more upset about the kid or the crow?" I could see the frustration building up behind her eyes as she scowled at me.
"I love Opie and Harper, Hap. I just feel like I've lost a big part of who I am and I'll never get that back." She bit her bottom lip and looked up at the sun. It was her tell that she was on the verge of crying. Everyone had a tell and her's involved burning her eyes out with the sun.
"You just need to find some other outlet for the G.I. Jane shit. Once Ope gets out, you'll have more time. Go get your helmet." I stood up and headed into the office where Gemma was probably listening in from. Sure enough, she darted away from the door once I got close.
"Nice try. Watch the kid. I'm taking Ana out to the range." I didn't wait for her response, her reddened cheeks were enough to tell me she'd heard enough of what was going on.