I started to question my sanity as I held my fist a couple inches away from Happy's door. He and I never had a close relationship but his attitude towards me was a new development that I didn't understand. After calling Ana four times and getting her voicemail, I knew the only thing I could control right now was finding out what was going on with Happy. I took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door, hoping he didn't answer it with a knife at my throat.
"What?" Happy growled as he tossed the door open and looked at me. I took a deep breath, relieved to see his hands free of weapons, not that he was any less dangerous unarmed.
"I need to know what's going on, Happy. We've never been best friends but you were never cruel to me until recently." As I spoke, I realized how childish I sounded. He shook his head and took a step back from the door. I swallowed hard and walked inside his dorm room.
"It's busy with the guys being inside, Tara. I never tried to make anyone think I wasn't an asshole." Happy said as he pushed a rolling chair towards me. I caught it and sat down, noticing immediately that he had several guns disassembled on his bed. His cold eyes were watching me from across the room.
"Trust me, I know the low numbers make everything complicated, Happy. It's just getting a little hard to ignore the rumors about you and Ana. You biting my head off any time I ask about her doesn't help much either." I saw a flash in his eyes before his scowl started. His reaction was expected but scary none the less.
"If they didn't suck dick I'd kick every damn croweater and sweet butt off this fucking lot. You buying in to their shit now, doc?" His jaw clenched and I knew getting him talked back down wasn't going to be easy. I shook my head and looked him in the eyes.
"Happy, it's not just them. Gemma swears you two are," I jumped back as Happy launched off of the wall he was leaning against. He towered over me and glared into my eyes.
"Gemma? She went and put shit in Ope's head didn't she?" Happy growled as his knuckles turned white from clenching into fists so tightly. I immediately regretted having mentioned anything about the rumors or Gemma.
"Happy, it's Gemma. She thinks anything she does is justified as long as she was doing it for the guys." I spoke quickly, hoping Happy would back down a little. Instead, he growled a string of Spanish curses and I could see the vein in his neck starting to bulge.
"Ana bolted because of that shit. That fucking concussion and cuts you bitched at me about are Gemma's fault. She never would have left without me if Gemma wouldn't have worked Ope up and caused that shit between them." Happy moved over to the bed and started reassembling his arsenal with precision.
"I know you love her, Happy. You need to figure out how to get a grip on that before she comes home. Killing Gemma isn't going to help." I took my chances and moved closer to the enraged biker. His hands stopped moving and I could see him start to calm down. He cut his eyes back over at me and shook his head.
"Get out, doc." I could see the silent 'please' in his eyes before he turned his attention back to the gun parts on the bed. My heart fell a little and I wondered how it was possible to prefer him angry to any other emotion. At that moment, with that look in his eyes, I wished he was still glaring and growling at me.
Ana's POV
"She looks a lot like you, Knowles." Jensen smiled over at Harper as she slept. I nodded in agreement, even though I saw more of Opie in her than myself. The waitress dropped off our coffees and flitted away.
"I didn't expect you to be there, Jensen." I looked him in the eye and ran my thumb over the lip of my mug. He nodded and pulled the neck of his shirt down just low enough to show a tattoo that made my heart stop. Just over his heart was a script tattoo of Briana's initials and birthday.
"I was planning on proposing to her once we got out of the sandbox. Briana was dying to tell you, Ana. She promised me she wouldn't because I knew if anyone found out that you knew and didn't report it, it'd ruin your career." Jensen gave me an apologetic smile as he stared down at his coffee. I shook my head slowly and started to remember all of the clues that I didn't notice before. She was so excited about getting stateside and leaving the Army. I just thought she was tired of the sand and blood. Guilt suddenly hit me like a freight train.
"Jensen, I'm sorry. I should have made sure she stayed right with me. I never should have looked away." I felt the familiar weight of the memories and pain crashing down on my chest. The tightening of my chest and the pain from the beatings I'd taken made it hard to breathe. Jensen shook his head and grabbed my hand.
"Ana, you're not psychic. You can't keep blaming yourself for Briana dying by the enemy's bullet. Briana would be pissed to know that you're carrying that shit around. She was never happier than when you were happy to. I was supposed to give you this if anything ever happened. I'm sorry it took me so long." Jensen pulled a folded paper out of his wallet and passed it over to me. I ran my thumb over the faded ink on the outside of the note. Briana always insisted on writing notes like we were in middle school.
Ana-
If you're reading this, then you should know I beat you, again. I'm glad I beat you in the final race though; life wouldn't be the same if you'd won. You always told me not to write these types of letters, but this time it's different.
I hope you never read this letter, sis. The problem is, if you're reading this, I didn't make it home with you. If Jensen read this letter, like I told him not to, then you've got to promise to help him. The two of you are the reason I wake up in the mornings! It scares me to think about the pain and guilt you two will put yourselves through if anything happens. I beg you to be happy, Ana. I get that it's going to be hard and you're going to miss my beautiful face, but you can't stop living your life. When you go home, I want your ass on a plane to California. You go home and be with family, Ana.
I'm the lucky one, doll. I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise and sit by you on the plane home, but you've got to live for both of us now. You've got to keep my memory alive by being your happy, wild, crazy self. You get all mopey and sad and I'll be forced to knock your bike over and jump up and down on it all ghost-like.
Follow you heart, Ana. You've always come to the right decisions eventually and I know you always will. Just remember that you make your own fate, baby girl. You don't answer to anyone once you take that uniform off for the last time. You do you. You do what makes you happy and never apologize for it. Life's too short to worry about what other people think.
Find someone who takes care of you, Ana. You've given enough of yourself for everyone else. Never settle for a love that doesn't scare you.
Love always,
Briana
"I needed this, Jensen. Thank you." I said as I folded it back up and stood. Jensen nodded and followed me out of the coffee shop. Neither one of us had even tasted the coffee.
"What did it say?" Jensen asked as we walked towards my rental car. I glanced over at him and raised my brow.
"You've carried this around after all this time and never read it?" He shook his head and I laughed.
"She said it was confidential. I got my own letter that started out with a reminder not to read yours. Did it help you any?" He asked as I loaded Harper back into the SUV. I paused and considered the question.
"Yes and no. It helped me realize that you were right about her wanting me to be happy. But, I feel like I need to revaluate everything I've done over the past couple years since she's been gone." I closed the door quietly and turned to face him. He nodded and pulled me in to a hug.
"It doesn't matter what you've done, Ana. Just focus on what you can do now." Jensen said as he let me out of his grasp. I nodded gave him a small smile.
"I'll try to do better about staying in touch, Jensen." He nodded and turned towards his own car as I got in the driver's seat. I glanced at Harper in my rear view mirror and knew that I couldn't go home just yet.
RELEASE DAY
Happy's POV
I stared at the ceiling with my back on my bed as the alarm clock shrilled. It finally stopped after being thrown against the wall. I hadn't slept in almost two days, so just the idea of being woken up pissed me off. Everything seemed to piss me off lately though.
"Hap! We got church soon, brother!" Kozik called out as he banged on the door. I didn't bother responding as I swung my legs off the bed and headed out into the bar area.
"No, I haven't heard from her." I said with a sigh as Tara looked over at me. She had made a point to ask me about Ana every day for the last two weeks. It was release day and she had said she would be back for it. Ana made sure to send Tara a text confirming her safety every few days, but she never responded to Tara's replies or answered the phone.
"I just hope she shows up." Tara said quietly as she nursed a cup of coffee. I walked away, unsure if I agreed or not.
Opie's POV
"I just want to see my kid and my old lady." I said as Jax and I started throwing shit into bags so we could get out as soon as possible. He nodded and shot me a grin.
"I got you, Ope. You haven't seen them in what, three months?" It had actually been closer to four, but I tried not to dwell on that. She'd written me a few letters and sent pictures of Harper, but it wasn't the same as seeing them. The last visit I had was the day Gemma came down unexpectedly.
"She sounded better in her last letter. Sounded more like the Ana that I knew before she left Charming the first time." I glanced over at the letter on the desk and took a deep breath. She did sound better, but she was also a little distant.
"Winston, Teller, time to go." The guard called as he opened the cell door. I threw the bag over my back and gave Jax a half grin and a nod. We followed the guard out of the cell and made the long walk down to the receiving and discharge area.
Tara's POV
"They're here!" Gemma called out as the sound of motorcycles filled the air. I took a deep breath and smiled, happy to have my husband back home. Abel smiled brightly as I picked Thomas up. It still amazed me how much he had grown over the past fourteen months.
The three of us got outside just as the club rolled on to the lot. I smiled brightly and walked over to Gemma, who wrapped her arm around my shoulders with a grin. I caught sight of Jax's bike and felt happy tears welling in my eyes. Opie was right behind him and his hair and beard were noticeably longer. I frowned a little, knowing that Ana had yet to make an appearance.
"Hey baby, welcome home!" I said as I hugged Jax. He smiled and kissed me deeply before taking both Thomas and Abel in his arms. Opie gave his father a hug and then disappeared into the clubhouse. Happy hooked his thumbs in the front of his kutte and scowled.
Ana's POV
I stopped my Jeep in front of the Welcome to Charming sign and tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel. Harper was in her car seat making silly noises and laughing. I ran my hand through my hair and smirked at the shaved section at the base of my skull. It was on a whim that I had it shaved, but I loved the way it looked when my hair was pulled up.
"Let's go see your daddy, baby girl." I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and pulled back onto the road. It didn't even take ten minutes at the speed limit to arrive at the garage. I saw the full line of bikes and frowned. I had planned on getting back before the guys did.
"Hey, Ope." I smiled as he opened the door to his dorm. His eyes lit up and a big grin spread on his face as he stepped back to let Harper and I inside. Harper frowned and I knew she was about to start screaming. I bounced her on my hip and made silly faces, hoping she would calm down.
"I missed you, munchkin!" He hugged me and kissed my forehead as Harper started whimpering. I closed my eyes and sighed, hoping Opie wasn't too hurt by her reaction to him.
"I missed you, Ope. She didn't sleep much on the plane baby." I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. Harper started screaming loudly and hid her face in the crook of my arm.
"Harper, don't cry sweetie." Opie ran his large hand over her dark hair and gave her a weak smile. She looked up at him and calmed down slightly. I passed our daughter over to him and watched as the both of them adjusted to the other. She resembled him even more as he held her in his arms.
"We need to talk, Ana. I've got church in a few minutes. You going to be here when I get out?" Opie asked as Harper pulled on his beard. I nodded and took the giggling girl back with a sigh. He gave me a funny look and nodded before leaving the room without a word.
Don't be mad but updates are probably going to be slower still. I'm used to night shift now but I'm working on moving into my new place and I'm waiting to get wifi! I'll do the best I can though.