Chapter 10: Change
WHEN I WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING EDWARD WASN'T THERE, IN HIS PLACE was another note in the same perfect old world script that was Edward. I quickly took it from its place on the nightstand and read it.
My Dearest Bella,
Don't panic everything is ok. I just had to go and get myself ready for today. I went to hunt as soon as I knew you were fast asleep and would not wake. Take your shower and get dressed. Do this quickly because Alice will most likely be in there soon. I will bring you breakfast as soon as I am back. I love you so much remember that please when you change today.
Your Loving Edward
After I read that I felt the tears start to fall. If this was how eternity with him would be then bring it on. I loved him more at that moment than I ever had before. At that moment I came to know that he would take every precaution he could to protect me now and forever. I only hope that he will let me protect him after all of this is done.
I looked back at the note and noticed that it said that Alice would probably come in here soon and that I should hurry and shower and dress. I took his advice and jumped from the bed running to the bathroom. I fell twice on my way and was sore by the time I got into the shower. I let the water run over me and took this time to relax and prepare myself. I knew that this was going to be painful and I wanted to be as ready as I could be.
As I was turning the water off, I heard the door to the room open and close. I quickly dried off and threw on my comfortable pajama pants and a tank top. I went out to see who it was. To my relief it was Edward and not Alice. He set the tray down on the bed and walked over to me. As he reached me I threw my arms around him and clung to him. He took me in his arms and held me whispering as he did how much he loved me and how sorry he was for the pain that I was going to have to endure.
When he set me down it was on the bed. He then placed the tray in front of me and told me to eat because I was going to need the strength. I did as he told me and he paced the room while I ate. Once in a while he would look over at me and I could tell that he was hurting because of what he was going to have to do.
I finally had enough of this and patted the bed next to me, "Come sit with me love."
When I was full I started to talk to him, "What is going through your mind?"
"I am just worried for you. This will be the sharpest memory you will have in your new life and it makes me sad that everything else from your life now will be forgotten."
"I knew that was going to happen before we did this. Don't worry," I said as I pulled out a notebook, "I have been keeping a journal of everything so that I can at least read about what happened while I was human."
Edward smiled then and took me in his arms pleased that I had thought to do something to protect the precious moments that had filled the last year and a half of my life. Right in the middle of this most precious moment Alice burst into the room and told the two of us to come down stairs.
When she left I turned to Edward, "What does she want?"
"I can't tell you love, I don't know myself. When I tried to read her mind all I found was her listing off all the designers that she still had to visit before school starts for her in the fall."
Wearily we went down stairs and Alice pushed us onto the couch. We looked at her and she was bouncing up and down. Obviously whatever was going on had her very excited. Her excitement seemed to scare me even more and I shrank into Edward. He pulled me into his lap and put his arms around me as he turned to glower at Alice.
"What is going on Alice? Bella should be taking this time to relax and prepare herself for what is going to happen in a couple of hours. You have her scared out of her mind."
"I wasn't trying to scare her. I have a present for the two of you. It is something that I think will mean more to you after all of this than before but I didn't want to wait three days to give it to you. So please just humor me. Jasper if you please."
Jasper handed her a remote and she pushed play. It was a movie of our time together. I watched and saw how our life together started and grew. When it came to the part where Edward had left I started to cry as I saw how everyone had felt when they left. During that part of the movie Alice filled it with clips of what the family had done and conversations about me that the members of my new family had had. Some of them I was guessing were private conversations that Alice had been sneaky to record. Then it went to where Alice came back and the fight I had with Jacob. From there it was filled with more moments of my life with the Cullen's. It had things from Italy and London on there to. It ended with the wedding.
When it was over I was full on crying. This was one of the most thoughtful gifts I had ever received. I thanked them and hugged each of them and Alice last and biggest. Then it was time so Alice led me upstairs to help me change. She said I couldn't become her forever sister in what I had on.
After she had played Bella Barbie one last time she let me look in the mirror. I had soft curls flowing down my back and was wearing a blue sparkled tank top and a white skirt. She led me out to the others who were waiting in my room. They each gave me a hug and took their places. Edward was last to come to me. He hugged me one last time and took me in his arms and kissed me as passionately as he had last night. He then carried me to the bed and laid me down.
"Alice," he said, "it is time."
She turned and started the CD player with the CD she had put in. It was my lullaby. Immediately I calmed down and Alice went to Jasper and held his hand. I was shocked that Jasper had even stayed. I knew that he had had a hard time with the smell of human blood. That must be why they had hunted last night. They all wanted to be here for me.
Alice and Jasper were in the corner by the door. I figured it was so that if Jasper needed out fast he would be able to get out. Rosalie and Emmett were on the couch in our room and Esme was in the wingback chair that Edward would sit in and read when I was in the shower. I smiled at all of them and then looked up at Edward.
"I am ready now. I have my family here with me and my love at my side. I can do anything."
That was all he needed to hear. He leaned down and his teeth grazed my neck and then he kissed me. At the end of the kiss I felt it. He had sunk his teeth in and started it. When he came up I looked at him and he looked like he would be crying if he could.
I smiled at him and then the fire started to flood my system. I clung to Edward and tried to hold in the plea for help to make it stop. Edward took me into his arms and started to rub circles on my back and arms and then he started to hum my lullaby. I don't know what it was about that song but it lulled me into unconsciousness and I no longer felt anything.
I had no idea how long I had been under but I felt something now and it wasn't a pleasant feeling either. I was still on fire. I opened my eyes and a scream escaped my lips before I could stop it.
"Bella, I am here do not worry. You will be ok."
It was my Edward, my angel, my love. I tried to calm myself but I couldn't I was in so much pain. I tried to talk and ask how long it had been but every time I opened my mouth I screamed and nothing else came out of my mouth.
Sensing what I wanted to know he stroked my forehead and said, "It is about three in the morning. You have been out for almost sixteen hours now."
As he finished saying that to me I felt another lick of fire caress my body and I started to stiffen and arch my back. Edward just held me. He was behind me now and wiping my forehead with a damp cloth. The pain was starting to get more intense and I wanted to go back to unconsciousness. It wasn't coming though and I looked up into Edwards eyes pleading with him to help me go back to that safe harbor in my mind.
He smiled at me knowing what I wanted and at vampire speed went around the room and lit all the candles, turned on the small water feature we had in the room and came back to me.
While he was doing that I noticed that everyone had left. I looked at Edward wondering where they were.
"Jasper and Alice left because the feelings in the room became too overwhelming for him. Emmett and Rosalie just left a little while ago to see how Jasper is doing. They should be back soon. Esme went to get something for me to drink so that I can keep up my strength because I will need it in the next couple of days so that I can protect you from yourself."
After he explained he started to massage my neck and temples. I soon went back into that calm unconsciousness only this time Edward came with me. I was shocked to see him there. I knew he was in my dreams but he had never come to this place before. Edward couldn't get into my mind before. How was he able to get here now?
It was like watching a movie as I saw myself run to Edward.
"What are you doing here? How did you get here?"
"I don't know love. The only way I can think that this could have happened is that you pulled me in with you when you came back. Does it really matter though? I am here and we are together through all of this."
"I guess you are right. I would rather go through this with you than without you. Edward, this is much more painful than I remember it being when James bit me."
"I put more venom in you then he did. I had talked to Carlisle about it and he told me that if you had more venom in your system the change would go faster but it would be a little more painful. If I had known it would be this much more painful then I would have done it the other way."
"Edward, did he say how much shorter the time would be?"
"Half, you will be through it in twenty more hours. You are almost half way there. I don't know that during the next little while you will be able to stay in this sanctuary. The pain may become so intense that you will be ripped from here and forced to go through it. I will be there holding you though. Just remember that. I will never let you hurt yourself."
"Hurt myself why would I do that?"
"Many people who are changed try to rip their skin off thinking that if they do then the pain will go away because the fire will be able to get out. All it does is make a big mess. I will hold you so that you don't hurt yourself."
It was then that I started to feel the pain seep into my sanctuary and I knew it was a matter of moments before I was pulled completely back to reality. I looked at Edward and told him that I loved him. Then he was gone and I was back.
I felt the fire consuming my body and wondered how long I had been gone that time. I felt something else at the same time though. It was Edward's body. His hands were holding my arms and his legs were curled around mine. He kissed my forehead and told me that it was six in the morning and that in seventeen hours this would be all over. I was right in the middle of it then.
He had said that the middle was the worst and that after this the pain would start to decrease. I kept looking at him and clamping my mouth shut as best I could. Every once in a while a little yelp would escape my mouth and sure enough I wanted to rip my skin off and get rid of the fire just like Edward warned me I would. He held me down and although I knew it was for my own good I found myself fighting him. So this must have been why he said he was going to need all of his strength.
It seemed like an eternity but then I started to feel the fire going away. I still burned but it wasn't as intense anymore. I was able to go back to my sanctuary. Edward was there waiting for me this time.
"Welcome back love. How do you feel?"
"I feel a little better. The fire isn't as intense now. I must be on the down hill climb to my new life."
"You are but it will still be a while until you are done. We can talk though. Is there anything you want to know?"
"Is Jasper ok? Who is in the room besides us?"
"Jasper is fine now. He and Alice are back in the house but not in with us yet. They will be back before you are finished changing though so that they are here for you when you come around. Everyone else is here they are playing monopoly to pass the time."
"I am glad that jasper is ok. I never meant to hurt him. I just was selfish and didn't realize how much my pain would affect him. I will have to apologize to him after this is all done. Thank you for keeping me company."
"Thank you for letting me my love. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't let me in. I don't think Carlisle will believe me when I tell him about this. That is if you will permit me to tell him. He studies all these things and wants to hear about our experiences. I am the first and probably only one besides Carlisle that has changed a human though. And, I am the only one to change a human that wanted to be changed."
"I know I am a freak. I mean really what human in their right mind would want to go through all this pain. I knew it was going to be painful and I still went through with it. I am sick Edward really sick." I said with a playful smile on my face.
Edward gave me a look and asked, "What are thinking now Isabella Marie Cullen?"
I was shocked by the use of my full name but not for long. I started to walk to him and when I reached him I put my arms around him and held him tight to me. I then kissed him wanting to see how long I could go before needing to breathe. To my surprise I didn't need to come up for air. This was wonderful. I didn't have to separate from Edward.
Edward pulled away and looked at me in shock, "The transformation isn't complete yet how are you able to do this?"
"Edward this is my unconscious normal human rules don't apply here. How long do I have left?"
"About an hour. We could go back now and you can hear what is going on. It might be fun. There are always interesting conversations when they think others aren't listening. Alice and Jasper will be back in here in about half an hour they are talking about you do you want to listen in."
I got my mischievous smile and agreed to go back and listen to what was going on.
When I came back to reality I listened for Alice and to my surprise I could hear her even though she wasn't here. I could also here Jasper who always seemed to talk in a whisper.
"Do you think that Bella will have a different view of shopping now that things are different with her?"
"I don't know Alice she may be the same as she was as a human though I have yet to meet a vampire who doesn't like to shop for something. You are just extreme."
I pulled my hearing back so that I could focus on the others in the room. Edward was talking to them. "Who is winning?"
"Rosalie is," Emmett huffed obviously frustrated that he wasn't.
"Don't be a sour puss Emmett or you wont get anything for a few weeks. Maybe I'll make you wait until Edward and Bella's wedding if you don't calm down and deal with the fact that someone is beating you for once and soundly too."
It was quiet for a little while and I decided to try and move. I tried my toes first. Nope I still had no control over them. How about my eyes can I open them? Yes, I got them open and Esme gasped. Everyone looked at her.
"Bella," she whispered to the others.
That was all it took and Alice and Jasper were in the room. I looked around and slowly felt my body lift from the stupor it had been in. I was able to move my head and then my toes and hands then my legs and arms and finally my whole being. I sat up and put my arms around Edward. He smiled at me. When I looked at everyone else I saw that their jaws had hit the floor, everyone that is except Alice. She and Edward must not have told them what Edward was going to do.
I smiled at them and looked to Edward again.
"Are you hungry love?"
I opened my mouth to answer and my throat felt as though it was clogged so that I couldn't speak. I grabbed it and looked at him.
Alice giggled and said, "Yep she is hungry. Don't worry Bella your throat will feel a lot better after you eat."
Edward handed me a glass and told me to drink. I did and then handed him the glass. He refilled it and I drank it again. This happened four or five times and then I was able to speak.
"I feel much better now. Thank you. I guess Edward and Alice didn't tell you all what they were up to. Edward put more venom in because of a theory he had discussed with Carlisle. The theory was that with just a little more venom the change time would be cut in half. As you can see Edward just proved the theory."
Rosalie was the first to speak, "Bella that isn't the only reason we are in shock. Wait until you see yourself."
Esme continued, "Dear your eyes are not the color of a newborn vampire. They are the same butterscotch color of Edward's eyes."
At that I ran to the bathroom to see for myself. Sure enough my eyes were the same color as Edward's and I was as pale as Alice and almost as beautiful as Rosalie. I never expected to become more beautiful. I was shocked and then upset. Edward came in and put his arms around me. He could tell I was unhappy and asked me what was wrong.
"I don't look like your Bella anymore. Do you still think I am beautiful? You told me you loved me the way I was. Can you love me the way I am now?"
Edward started to laugh, "Yep she is the same old Bella. She doesn't know if I can love her the way she is now."
Everyone started to laugh with him. I knew then that I was being silly. I turned and hugged Edward. I then kicked the bathroom door shut so that I could kiss him in private. When our lips met it was like no other time we had kissed. There was a new intensity and passion to it. I kept kissing him thinking that the feeling would calm down but it never did. I finally opened my eyes and looked up. Behind Edward was Emmett and as soon as he saw that I was looking at him he let out a cat call. I took Edward's hand and ran from the room.
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